“She said something about leaving next week. I just want her to be gone before Dean gets back.”
“Which is when?”
“I’m not sure yet. A month, maybe.” Though my heart aches at the idea of not seeing Dean for that long again, I can’t shake my conviction that he is still safer in Italy.
“Okay, go to your meeting,” I tell Kelsey. “Call me tomorrow.”
“I will. Hitch up your big girl panties.”
“I’m trying, but they give me a wedgie.”
“I’ll loan you some tweezers.”
“With the size of my ass these days, I’ll need pliers.”
Kelsey laughs. We exchange goodbyes, and I stop to pick up takeout Chinese food before returning home. After leaving the boxes on the kitchen counter, I go into the living room.
Crystal is sitting on the sofa, writing something on a pad of paper. She rips the page off and hands it to me.
“Phone call from a lawyer,” she says. “Asked for your husband.”
My heart plummets. Written in Crystal’s flowing handwriting is the name of the lawyer who specializes in sexual harassment cases.
“Thanks.” I toss the paper onto the foyer table and go into the bedroom to change.
When I emerge in clean jeans and a T-shirt, Crystal is still sitting on the sofa. I go past her, aware of her following as I head for the kitchen.
“Liv.”
“Not your business, Crystal.”
“Why does he need a lawyer?”
“Dean has a lot of investments and stuff.” I realize that’s probably the wrong thing to say. “Never mind.”
“Is the guy a divorce lawyer?”
“No! Of course not. Again, not that it’s any of your business.”
But I’m not stupid. One click of a mouse and she’d find out exactly what Sterling and Fox specializes in. I could deflect that discovery with bullshit about Dean needing a lawyer for employment reasons, but Crystal wouldn’t buy it. I’ve visited the Sterling and Fox website. Sexual harassment is listed as their firm’s primary area of practice.
I feel my mother watching me as I dump the Chinese food into bowls and take them to the table.
“If there’s anything I don’t regret,” she says, “it’s that I didn’t marry your father. It would have been a mess to try and divorce him.”
“Dean and I are not getting a divorce. And I’m not going to talk about it anymore.”
Somewhat to my surprise, she doesn’t press the issue. I eat a few bites before holing up in Dean’s office to read for the rest of the evening. It’s not until the following morning that I know Crystal knows. Sometimes I hate the Internet. Or at least, I wish I was a better liar.
“Is that why he’s out of town?” she asks.
I shake my head and swallow a gulp of too-hot coffee.
“Is it a student?” she asks. “Or another professor?”
“None of your business.”
“But it’s someone,” she says, and too late I realize that my response was a tacit acknowledgment that she got it right.
“It’s no wonder something like this happened,” Crystal remarks. “He’s a handsome man, and with all those young, pretty students around—”
“Oh, for God’s sake, Crystal, stop it,” I snap. “Dean didn’t do anything wrong. One of his students is upset that he wouldn’t approve her thesis proposal, and she’s using this charge as a weapon of revenge.”
“That’s what he told you?”
“That’s what I know.”
Her mouth compresses. “Jesus, Liv, he has you snowed, doesn’t he?”
“No! Believe it or not, Crystal, there are good men in the world. And Dean is one of the best.”
“You don’t have to defend him. I know you don’t want my opinion, but I’ve learned a lot about men over the years, and it seems to me like your husband isn’t all that you think he is.”
“You’re right.” My shoulders tense. “I don’t want your opinion.”
“He’s the only man you’ve been with, right?”
I don’t respond. Can’t. How does she know that?
“I’ve known men like him,” Crystal continues. “He’s older than you. Way more experienced. Good-looking. Good talker. You met him when you were young and struggling with school and work. He has plenty of money and promised to take care of you. He gives you whatever you want, and in return you give him what he wants, right?”
I can’t breathe past the tightness in my throat. “You don’t know anything about it.”
“I do know something about manipulative men who force you to do exactly what they want.”
“Dean has never forced me to do anything.”
“Of course you don’t think so,” Crystal replies. “A man like him would make you believe you’re the center of his world. You think he’d never use you. But then you follow him wherever he goes, let him take care of you, while you keep him happy in the bedroom. He knows how good he has it. But you can’t see the truth of it, which is that he’s manipulating you.”
My chest aches. Every cell in my body is fighting Crystal’s ugly, twisted assessment of my marriage.