“But he didn’t fuck you?”
“No, Mike,” I told him, losing patience, it was slipping away and it was doing it fast, “he didn’t fuck me. Kate’s attached to him, she asked him to spend the night. She’s feelin’ a bit unsafe, seein’ as her father and uncle have been murdered by the man who’s stalking me. So we got home in the middle of the night and she wanted him to stay. He did. This morning he made sure the girls got off safe with Dane and his folks and he left. I didn’t even get out of bed. I didn’t even say good-bye to my babies.”
My voice was choked when I finished speaking and Mike’s face changed, the anger ebbed out, gentleness swept in and he took a step forward.
I took two back and he stopped.
“Sweetheart,” he murmured.
That’s how I liked him to call me “sweetheart”.
But I shook my head and I told him, “It’s over.”
He blinked, slow, then asked, “What?”
“I’m sellin’ the house. The girls and me are movin’ to Arizona.”
“Honey.”
I was still shaking my head. “He’ll fuck with me, Mike. He killed Tim, he killed Sam and, still, he’ll fuck with me.”
Mike moved forward, I moved back but he came at me faster and caught me in his arms. I forgot why I was retreating, put my hands to his chest and dropped my forehead between them.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I whispered. “You, Joe, Bea, Mel, Mom bein’ a bitch, buryin’ Sam, Vinnie, Theresa, Manny, Benny, Daniel Hart, it’s all too much. I can’t do this anymore.”
Mike was quiet, he just held me in his arms as I fought back the tears.
When I won and did it on a sigh, he spoke. “Darlin’, I don’t even know who half those people are.”
The way he said it, I laughed, turned my head and pressed my cheek to his chest.
Then I wrapped my arms around his waist and his arms got tighter.
“I was a dick,” he said into my hair, “comin’ in here, givin’ you that shit.”
I let him off the hook. “You weren’t. You were just a man.”
“Well, yeah, I am that.”
I pressed my cheek closer and gave him a squeeze. “Yeah.”
“Girls aren’t here, want you with me tonight.”
I closed my eyes and didn’t lift my head, nor loosen my arms when I said with all seriousness, “Mike, I wasn’t joking. I need to let you go.”
I felt his body grow still when he asked, “Why?”
I tipped my head back then and said, “In case you hadn’t noticed, men in my life end up with bullets in their heads.”
“Sweetheart –”
“And I’m entirely fucked up.”
“Vi.”
I took an arm from his waist, placed my hand against his cheek and whispered, “And you deserve better than that.”
“How ‘bout you let me make that decision?” he whispered back.
“Mike, I repeat, I’m entirely fucked up.”
“Sweetheart, I already know that,” he grinned, “and, fuck me, but I kinda like it.”
“Mike –”
“It’s cute.”
Finally, I gave him the truth. “And there’s somethin’ I need to work out with Joe and I don’t want you feelin’ on a string while I work it out.”
His arms spasmed and that muscle leapt again in his jaw.
“What?” he whispered.
My hand at his cheek slid to his neck and I said, “Not that, not what you’re thinking. But we gotta get something clear and, I know Joe, that’ll take some doing.”
“Violet.”
“I got four days, the girls are gone, I got four days to do it. Can you give me that?”
“No.”
“Mike –”
“Vi, you’re in my bed tonight.”
“Mike, listen to –”
His arms gave me a shut up squeeze so I did and he said, “No, Vi, you listen to me. You work it out with him. Talk. I don’t give a fuck what it’s about, don’t wanna know. You come to my house tonight and you come prepared to spend the night.”
Yep, he was getting impatient, staking his claim.
“Mike, I don’t think –”
“And don’t fuckin’ bring one of his shirts. You sleep in tees, you wear one of mine.”
“But –”
“And you take it home too.”
Shit and damn. Joe was home a few days and my brother was fucking dead, I’d been semi-adopted by an Italian family in Chicago, my girls were back under his spell and I was back in this unholy mess.
“I’m not ready for that.”
“Yeah, you are and I am and he can have your days, you need to work shit out with him, but, while the girls are gone, I have your nights.”
“What if we –”
“I want you safe. I wanna know you’re safe and the only way I’ll know that is you in my bed. He and Colt can keep watch durin’ the day but I’m tellin’ you, Vi, I get the nights.”
“Mike –”
He didn’t let me finish again, this time he kissed me. Not his straight-to-fiery kiss, this one was a stealth one, light and sweet, building the fire.
I ended it with my arms wrapped around his neck.
“Six o’clock, sweetheart,” he whispered, “come on in, the door’ll be open.”