At Peace

I tried not to let this affect me, Joe carrying Keira to bed, but it did, strong, hard, a sock to the gut, but a weirdly warm one and, even partly asleep and it being the middle of the night, it still pissed me off.

I hurried after them as best I could on my foot, catching up to them in Keira’s room after Joe had put Keira on her bed and Joe walked by me as I walked into her room. His eyes caught mine but he kept going and I closed the door halfway and went to my daughter who always slept like a log. I took off her shoes and struggled with her dress, so much she half-woke. Helping her, we got on her pjs and I pulled back the covers.

“Where’s Joe?” she mumbled sleepily as she settled in and I heard movement outside, footsteps, Joe and Kate.

“He’s bringing Kate in.”

Keira rolled to her side, her hands going under her cheek as she asked, mostly still asleep, “Do we have him back?”

That hit me too, a sock to the gut.

“No, baby,” I answered honestly but she didn’t hear me, she was asleep.

I pulled the covers over her, tucked them around and then bent and kissed her hair.

Then I moved out, saw Kate’s door closed and I went to it, knocking softly and going in at her call.

“Hey Mawdy,” she said, I’d caught her with her knee in the bed, she’d already changed. “Joe helped me in,” she finished as she collapsed in bed and pulled up the covers.

I moved to her and tucked them tight all around.

Then I slid her hair away from her face. “That’s good.”

“I asked him to sleep on the couch, like Mike,” she told me and I felt my body freeze then I forced it to move and I bent and kissed her hair.

“What did he say?” I asked her hair.

“He said, ‘sure, girl’,” she muttered, her lips tipping up in a drowsy smile and she cuddled deeper into her pillows.

I was going to fucking kill him.

“All right, baby, go to sleep,” I encouraged but it was a wasted effort, she was already asleep.

I turned out her light, left her room and closed her door.

Joe was dumping my purse on the kitchen counter, my pumps on the floor when I limped into the living room and then through it, right to him.

I leaned in and hissed on a whisper, “You’re not spending the night.”

He took me in for a moment then replied, “Promised Kate.”

“Then it’ll suck, you needing to break your promise, because you’re not spending the night.”

“Yeah, Vi, I am.”

“No, Joe, you’re not.”

“Baby –”

I leaned in further and demanded angrily, “Don’t call me that.”

His hand came to my neck and I was so furious, I jerked free. His hand stayed suspended in mid-air then both his hands moved quick, grasping my hips. They yanked me forward, my body slammed into his and his arms locked around me, one low at my waist, one high up my back. Caged.

“Let me go,” I ordered, pushing against his shoulders.

“We gotta talk.”

“Yeah, we do, later, when I don’t wanna rip your head off, we’ll talk. There’s a few things I wanna say to you. Now, you’re gonna go.”

“Nope.”

“Joe!”

“Shut it, buddy.”

I tried a different strategy. “The girls are both going with Dane and his parents to the lake early tomorrow. They’ll be gone by eight. That’s four hours away. I’m sure we’ll be safe for four hours.”

“I am too,” he replied and I knew what he meant.

“Joe –”

“Go to bed, Vi.”

“Joe –”

His face came close and I stopped talking.

“You can go to bed or you can stay in my arms and argue. I’ll tell you right now, baby, I’m tired and need sleep so I’m not arguin’. You stay in my arms, I’ll be forced to find creative ways to stop that mouth of yours. You want that?”

He could just not be believed!

“We’re over,” I reminded him.

“I didn’t agree to that decision,” he shot back and I felt my body turn to stone.

“What?” I whispered.

“Go to bed, Vi.”

“But, Nadia… you said –”

He cut me off, threatening, “Should I get creative?”

I clamped my mouth shut and shook my head.

Joe held me awhile, staring at my face in the dark.

Then he leaned in and kissed my neck, lifting slightly, he whispered in my ear, “Sleep.”

Then he let me go.

I instantly turned and walked (okay, limped) as calmly as I could to my room.

I was trembling as I got ready for bed, my mind too full, too active, too crazed, I didn’t even think when I pulled Joe’s tee out from under my pillow and, after I took off my suit, brushed my teeth, washed my face, I slipped it on.

Then I got into bed.

My mind so active, so crazed, I thought I’d never sleep.

But I did.

And I did it soundly.

But I woke up when I heard the muted noises of the girls moving around and I felt him there, his shoulder against my cheek, his arm curled around my waist, my thigh thrown over his.

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