At Peace

I couldn’t tell if this was a complaint or considered an honor and Benny didn’t let on which one it was.

“Mom doesn’t like it when we hear the f-word,” Keira butted in before I could figure it out or Cal could comment then I watched her face get pink and she looked at the table.

“Good Mom’s usually don’t,” Benny told her then leaned in and noted, “but bet you hear it all the time at school.”

Keira looked at him and nodded.

“Bet you say it too,” Benny teased, Keira bit her lip, avoided my eyes, in fact, she avoided everyone’s eyes and she looked so hilariously guilty, Benny burst out laughing.

So did Cal

And so did I.

On the day of my brother’s funeral.

Then again, if Sam got a look at Keira’s face, he would have laughed too.

“How’d you two meet?” Benny asked, sitting back, settling in, ready to stay awhile even though his kitchen was pandemonium. He stretched an arm along the back of the booth which stretched his tight tee across his chest and his ripped bicep, his arm spanning both girls and both girls’ eyes shot to me, their faces set to identical looks of joy.

“Violet’s my neighbor,” Cal answered and Benny threw his head back and burst out laughing again.

When he finished, he shook his head, eyes on Cal. “Jesus. Only you could have the beautiful mother of two beautiful girls fuckin’ move right next door. Shit.” Benny looked to me again and said, “You got a sister, Vi, she’s lookin’ for a place, the one next door to me’s for sale.”

I smiled at him, feeling his compliment settle deep but informed him, “I don’t have a sister. Just a brother.”

The humor faded from his face as the smile faded from mine and, like his Dad, his eyes got soft, his expression turned gentle and he murmured, “Cara.”

I bit my lip. He’d heard about that too.

Then I watched in fascination as his head turned and he looked at my girls. Then his hand curled and he slid the backs of his fingers along the now-reminded-of-her-grief Keira’s jaw. Then his arm curled around Kate and he pulled her into his side for an affectionate squeeze before his arm went back to settle on the booth.

Yes, Cal’s family was cool.

In fact, they could be the coolest.

My mind was taken from this when I started to uncross my legs and, when I did, Cal’s hand came back. It curled around my inner thigh and pulled my leg up and over his, where he dropped it on his thigh.

Vulnerable, tired and one breadstick not cutting through my hunger, I forgot myself, my head turned to him and I snapped, “Why do you keep doin’ that?”

His head turned to me and his eyes leveled on mine. “You aren’t puttin’ your foot on the floor.”

“Why not?”

“Buddy, can’t believe I gotta remind you, but your foot is injured.”

“You don’t have to remind me.”

“Then you don’t need to ask why it shouldn’t be on the floor.”

“Yes, I do,” I was still snapping.

His head dipped so his face was close to mine. “Aunt Theresa keeps a clean place, still, not takin’ any chances and I don’t want your injured foot on what could be a dirty floor.”

This was thoughtful and nice which pissed me off, pissed me off enough to lose it and forget my vow to remember, forever and always, that Joe was gone. In fact, Joe never really existed, he was a figment of my imagination and it was Cal who remained.

I should have never forgotten.

But I did and therefore hissed, “It has a bandage on it, Joe.”

The minute I uttered his name, his face changed. I watched stunned, spellbound, as his eyes got soft and his face turned tender. He’d never looked at me like that, not ever, and my stomach got soft again, and warm, my heart started beating harder and I couldn’t help but lean closer, drawn by the power and beauty of that look aimed at me.

His hand came up, cupped my jaw and I was so thrown, I didn’t jerk my head away.

And I still didn’t when his mouth touched mine. He’d done that before, definitely, but never that way, never with that tenderness.

I felt my chest rising and falling because I found it difficult to breathe as his head bent, his mouth coming to my ear on the opposite side so Kate, Keira and Benny couldn’t see or hear him.

“Your foot stays off the floor until Manny comes back with your flip-flops. Yeah?” he whispered in my ear.

“Okay,” I replied instantly, whispering too.

His hand still at my jaw stayed at my jaw and he continued whispering. “Awhile ago, after I installed the system, when you were bein’ a bitch, we were in your livin’ room, you remember what I said?”

I remembered, I remembered like it happened yesterday. He’d said he was going to spank me and play with me until I begged and squirmed.

The memory made me squirm in the booth but I nodded.

His hand at my jaw tensed then he threatened, “You call me anything but Joe again, honey, that’s what you’ll get.”

I swallowed.

“Yeah?” he prompted.

“Okay,” I whispered.

“Good.”

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