At Peace

I shook my head and his face got even closer, all I could see were his sky blue eyes, all I could feel were his lips a breath away from mine.

“I like you there, buddy, and you like me there too. Cut Mike loose.”

“You can’t belong to anyone. You’re Joe Callahan, a one-woman man. The only one you ever belonged to was Bonnie and she’s still got hold of you and always will no matter how fucked up, crazy sad that was.”

His hands tightened on my head and he said, “Don’t listen to ‘burg lore. It’s shit.”

“You held onto it for seventeen years,” I pointed out.

“She killed my son,” he replied and my heart lurched.

“I know,” I whispered and my hands went to his waist, wanting to touch him, needing it, after he said those words, and doing it because I was crazy insane.

“You help me let that go, baby, I help you with Sam.”

I shook my head but my hands clenched his tee at his sides. “I can’t go back there again with you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t know when you’ll turn.”

“Buddy –”

“You’ve done it to me twice.”

“Vi –”

“And you’ve done it to the girls once.”

I watched him close his eyes, knowing I’d scored a point and not feeling the least bit happy about it. But something was happening here and for me, and my girls, I had to do right this time.

So I pushed the knife in deeper. “Me, okay Joe, but not my girls.”

He opened his eyes and locked them with mine.

“You feel it, I know you do. You know it isn’t done.”

“It has to be.”

“It isn’t. It won’t ever be.”

“It is, Joe.”

He didn’t respond, just stared into my eyes.

Then his mouth moved until it was touching mine.

Just with that touch, not even a kiss, my body went soft, my hands quit clenching his shirt and slid around to his back and a whimper glided out of my throat.

“Tell yourself that, baby. But, look at you,” he murmured, his voice gentle not gloating, our eyes still locked, “you’re mine.”

Then his mouth went away but he bent his head, let mine go, kissed my neck and he walked away, out the door and I watched him through the window as he sauntered along my front walk to his house.

I stood there, pressed to the wall for a long time. It took awhile but I realized I was breathing heavily.

Then I slid down the wall, knees to my chest. I wrapped my arms around my calves and hugged myself tight.

Then I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and I called my girls.

They told me they were there, in the cabin, unpacked and Dane and his Dad had the boat in the water. The cabin was way cool and the lake was phenomenal. They were getting ready to go out on the boat and they sounded happy and excited.

I’d made the right decision, making them go. They had other things to think about, good things.

Sam would be glad.

When I was done talking, I slid my phone closed.

That’s what I needed, exactly what I needed.

It wouldn’t last long but it was something.

I got up off the floor and went to go get Mooch.

*

I sat wearing Mike’s t-shirt in Mike’s big bed, my ass to the mattress, my shoulders to the headboard, a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream melting in my hand.

Mike was stretched out beside me, on his side, head in hand, elbow in the pillow, eyes on me, wearing pajama bottoms and nothing else (he had a nice chest, unbelievable abs, the whole show leaner than Joe’s, not as bulky, not scarred, but still amazing).

Layla was lying flat out on her side at the end of the bed, Mooch curled in her chest. Both of them were passed out due to the fact that they’d spent the last four hours pretty much destroying Mike’s yard.

My cell was glued to my ear and Dane Gordon was whispering to me through it.

“She’d be mad, Miz Winters, me tellin’ you this.”

“That’s okay, Dane, I won’t tell her you called.”

“Will you do it? Tomorrow morning? Let them both off the hook?”

“Yeah, Dane, I’ll call.”

“We’ll come back Saturday, so we’ll have another day and they won’t feel they’ll be screwin’ up my vacation with my folks and Katy’ll let me stay home so I can be around… um, for her, you know…”

Shit, but I liked this kid.

“Tell your folks I’ll keep you fed. You want…” Damn, was I gonna do this? Yes, I was gonna do it. “You can tell them I’m lettin’ you sleep on the couch.”

Mike made a choking noise that sounded like swallowed laughter.

I glared at him.

“Yeah?” Dane asked in my ear, cut up because Kate was cut up about her uncle, not wanting to be far from his girl and the couch was as close as I wanted him to get.

“Yeah, Dane.”

“Okay,” he said and he sounded relieved. “Gotta go, thanks Miz Winters.”

“Yeah. Bye Dane.”

“Later.”

I slid my phone closed and Mike slid it out of my hand and threw it on his nightstand then he turned back to me.

“Sweetheart, you are the biggest fuckin’ pushover I’ve ever seen.”

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