I fucking hate the empty apartment. I hate seeing all the cheery Christmas decorations that remind me of Liv. I work late, go home and crash, then leave again at six. I’ve gotten through the days on mindless autopilot—running, coffee, lectures and seminars, grant proposals, workouts.
I don’t think about how I’ve managed to fuck everything up. I don’t think about the fact that Liv hasn’t told me when she’ll come home. If she’ll come home.
After I’m done with classes and meetings, I head to the gym and take out my frustration on the heavy bag. On day six of Liv being gone, I’m punching the bag so hard my knuckles and arms ache. Within minutes, I’ve worked up a sweat.
“Whoa, slugger.” Kelsey stops beside me in a tank top and workout pants, a towel thrown over her shoulder.
“Get out of my way.” I drive my fist into the bag.
“Nope. We need to talk.”
I slam the bag harder. “I don’t want to talk.”
“Too bad.”
Jab, cross, jab, cross.
“Dean.”
I take a breath and step back. “Not in the mood, Kelsey.”
“You never will be if you keep this up.” She moves in front of the bag to stop me from throwing another punch at it. “Come on. Let’s hit the treadmill.”
“I hate the treadmill.”
“I know, but it’s either that or I’ll drag you out for coffee and you’ll have to look at me while I interrogate you. Which is the worse evil?”
The woman has a point.
I grab her towel and swipe my face, then head to the row of treadmills by the window.
“Liv said it was a mistake,” Kelsey says as she starts the treadmill beside mine.
“Really? Imagine that.”
“She’s upset that you’re not letting it go.”
“You think I fucking can?” I hit the button to make the treadmill go faster. “Would you be able to?”
“She’s not the only one at fault, Dean.”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake…” I shut the treadmill off, not wanting to hear what I already know.
I stalk toward the men’s locker room. She follows.
“Back off, Kelsey.”
“No.”
I shove the door open. She bangs through it after me. A few half-dressed men by their lockers stare at her. One whistles.
“Hey, lady, this is the men’s locker room,” one of them snaps.
“Shut up, asshole. You’ve got nothing I haven’t seen.” Kelsey stares him up and down. “And I mean nothing.”
The others laugh. I go to my locker around the corner, where at least there’s no one else around. Kelsey follows. She’s like a freaking parasite.
I spin the combination on my locker and wrench it open. “My marriage isn’t your business.”
“You and Liv are my business because you’re my best friends.” Kelsey steps around to face me. Her mouth is set, her eyes hard with determination. “I know how much she loves you. She wouldn’t have started thinking about a baby otherwise. And if you keep punishing her for one mistake, you’re not only going to make her miserable, you might wreck your whole marriage.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Anger flares through me, hot and fast. I slam a fist against the locker. “You think I don’t want to forget it, to pretend it never happened? I need a goddamn steak knife to carve the image out of my head. That bastard kissed my wife and she… she fucking liked it.”
I’m breathing hard. My heart pumps, my blood burns. Kelsey stares at me, her eyes unblinking behind her glasses.
Before I can react, she grabs the front of my sweaty T-shirt and pushes me back against the locker. Then she presses her mouth hard against mine.
What the—
Her lips pry mine open and her tongue pushes inside. She digs her fingers into my shoulders. She slides her body against mine.
Soft. She’s soft. Thin and wiry, but soft with nice breasts… and Jesus, her nipples are hard and poking against my chest. My cock twitches, swells. She presses closer. She runs her hands across my abdomen, down to my waist, then around to grip my ass.
Before I can think, I grab her hips and haul her toward me. A moan escapes her throat. I clasp the back of her neck, angle her head to a better position, and kiss her deep.
She tastes sweet, like apples and sugar. My blood simmers. Her tongue sweeps across my teeth, her breath hot.
I put my other hand on the small of her back and shove my hips against her, forcing her to feel the full length of my erection. She started it, so now she’ll get all of it.
She’s not shocked. I should have known she wouldn’t be. Instead she grinds against me and licks my lips and splays her legs over mine. If we weren’t in a men’s locker room, I wouldn’t be surprised if she started stripping.
I wouldn’t be surprised if I let her.
Kelsey thrusts her hands into my hair, then pulls her mouth away from mine and steps back.
We stare at each other, chests heaving. She looks as stunned as I feel. She swipes a hand across her lips.
“So, uh… sorry,” she mutters.
“What the hell was that?” My head is spinning. I stare at her mouth, reddened from the pressure of mine.
Kelsey pulls in a breath. “Was it good?”
“What?”
“Was that a good kiss?”
“You know it was, but what—”
“Do you get it, Dean?” Kelsey asks. “You can like kissing another person. It’s normal. Hell, it’s human. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you shut off a natural, biological reaction.”