“No, everything is fine. I’ve just been thinking . . . I think I want to get tested.” Mom was silent. I waited a moment to let my words sink in before the barrage of questions started.
“What’s brought this on?” she asked. “I’m glad you’ve decided to find out, but you’ve always been so adamant about not being tested.”
“I know, but things have changed. I need to know, one way or the other. I need to live, Mom. I can’t keep waiting for something that might not happen. No matter how much I try and push it away, it’s always there, eating at me.”
“I’ll call Dr. Martin and arrange it,” Mom said, referencing the doctor who’d cared for Dad while he was alive. Apparently, he was one of the top Huntington’s specialists in the country.
“Okay. Thanks, Mom.” I felt a sense of relief. I was one step closer to knowing my fate. After I ended the call, I tried Wrenn again. I nearly fainted when Kass answered.
“Dalton.” She sounded tired.
“Kassia. Is Wrenn there? Will she speak to me?” I asked, trying to keep the sheer desperation out of my voice.
“Look, we’re at her aunt’s holiday house. 430 The Boulevard, Cinter Beach. If you come down, I’ll disappear for a few hours.”
“God, thank you Kassia. I’m on my way.”
***
I knocked on the door to the beach house, still unsure of my game plan.
An hour in the car, and I still had nothing. Really, what was there to say? I could apologize all day for not telling her, but I knew deep down that wasn’t the real issue.
Kass opened the door. She smiled and let me in. “She’s in the living room, down the end and to the right.” She slipped out the door, shutting it behind her.
I walked down the hallway of the huge house. Everything was so perfect, so new—it was like a display home. And strangely, it was all so familiar. I felt like I had been there before.
Wrenn was curled up on the sofa, facing away from me. I edged closer, my heart racing. The TV was on low. She turned around, her eyes wide, shocked at the sight of me. I thought I saw a glimmer of a smile, but as quickly as it was there, it was gone. Emotion after emotion swept through her eyes: shock, happiness, sorrow, and then confusion.
“You’re here,” she said, wiping her eyes. “Let me guess. Kass?”
I nodded, and walked around the sofa.
She sat up, allowing me to sit down next to her. I put my hand on her thigh, over her faded jeans. She wore an old blue sweatshirt, and her hair was tangled and unbrushed, tied up in a pony tail. Regardless, she looked beautiful.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” I muttered, taking her hand in mine.
“I did some research.” She turned to look at me. “So this test can tell you if you have it, and when you’ll show symptoms?” She looked so scared, I just wanted to wrap my arms around her and take away the pain.
“It will tell me if I carry the disease. It can suggest how early I will display symptoms, but it’s not accurate regarding the symptoms.” I tried to explain, but there was so much to tell. I’d had all my life to learn about this disease, and there was shit that I myself still didn’t know.
“How old was your dad?” she asked. “When the symptoms began?”
“Forty-two. Though he was symptomatic for a couple of years beforehand but they couldn’t say for sure if that was the Huntington’s or not.”
“Did they know there was a chance when they had you? That he had it?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Dad was adopted. He never knew his real parents.” I took a deep breath. “Look, Wrenn, I understand if this is too much for you. I get it. That’s why I tried to distance myself from you early on. You lost your family. I couldn’t imagine putting you through losing me too.”
Tears welled in her eyes as she took in what I was saying. “I don’t want to not be with you, Dalton, but the idea of losing you? I don’t know if I can handle that,” she said quietly.
I took her hand in mine, entwining our fingers together. “You don’t need to decide now. In fact, I don’t want you to. I want you to think about it for as long as you need to.” I paused, the next sentence sticking in my throat. “I’m having the test,” I added quietly.
“You are?” she said, her eyes widening.
“I am. I want to know. Being with you made me realize I need to know the truth.” I sighed, so angry at the situation. “Wrenn, I need you to be fully informed. If I do have Huntington’s, you deserve to know exactly what it means. Ask me anything.”
“Huh?”
‘You said you Googled. That means you have questions. Ask me anything and I’ll do my best to answer.”
She turned her body toward me, unsure and afraid. She didn’t say anything for a while, she just sat there, staring at the floor.
“What are the symptoms?” she finally asked quietly.
“The most common symptom usually noticed first is muscle twitching. Involuntary movement, that kind of thing. Other symptoms are restlessness, clumsiness, dropping things, and tripping.” I paused, watching her intently. “There can also be mental symptoms such as depression, memory loss, impulsiveness...”