Next year we could truly be together. Our relationship could be real, and not hidden behind lies and secrets. When I thought about Wrenn, I saw my future as bright, and full of possibilities.
But there was one thing in my way. I needed to tell her. Since I’d kept it from her this entire time, there was no way to do this now without looking like a dick. The thing was, she had made me realize that even if the test came back positive, my life was far from over. This didn’t have to be the death sentence I saw it as. It could be a blessing. Everyone has to die sometime. I’d have probably ten, maybe twenty years before my symptoms would begin to show, and then probably another ten more.
What scared me the most was living those years without her. She made everything worthwhile. But she had been through so much already. Was it fair of me to expect her to stand by my side and watch me slip away?
My phone buzzed. I dug it out of my pocket and checked the message. It was Wrenn.
I need to talk to you. Can you meet me at the river?
I glanced outside. The rain pounded down heavily against the windowpane. What the hell was she doing out in this weather?
Give me ten minutes.
I could see her in the distance, sitting on the edge of the riverbank, staring out into the storm. What the fuck was she doing? I jumped out of the car, the force of the wind hitting me in the face.
“Wrenn!” I yelled.
She tensed, but didn’t turn.
I ran over and touched her shoulder, not caring that now I, too, was soaked. “What are you doing out here? Come, get in the car.”
She turned to face me, her eyes puffy. She’d been crying. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked, her voice overpowering the sound of the rain falling. Her fists were balled up at her sides as she waited for me to say something.
I froze. What did she know?
“What do you mean?” I sputtered, wiping the stream of raindrops off my forehead.
“I heard Layna on the phone with your mom. What the hell is wrong with you, Dalton?”
Oh God, no.
“Come on, Wrenn. Get in the car, and I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”
She yanked her hand away from me and stood up. “Just tell me!” she screamed. She was soaked, her white blouse now sheer and clinging to her like a second skin. She shivered as rainwater slowly drizzled down her cheeks. I knew the only way to get her out of this storm was to tell her. With the mood she was in, there was no reasoning with her, not right now.
“My father had a genetic illness called Huntington’s disease. There is a fifty percent chance I have it,” I said.
She looked up, her eyes dark and full of sadness. Her brows creased together as she continued to scowl at me. She was angry. Not that I blamed her; I’d be angry with me, too.
“Your father, he died from this?” she demanded.
“Wrenn—”
“Answer the fucking question, Dalton!”
“Yes, okay? Is that what you want to hear? Yes, Wrenn, there is a fifty-fifty chance I might have this wonderful disease that will eventually kill me.”
“Were you ever going to tell me?” She wiped her eyes.
I wanted so badly to reach out and comfort her. I nodded.
“When? Because if you were waiting until I’d already fallen for you, you’re right on time.” She pushed past me and ran to her car.
“Wrenn, will you please talk to me?” I yelled after her.
She didn’t stop. I stood there, helpless, as she jumped into her car and took off.
Fuck! I kicked a stray stone into the lake. Of all the scenarios I’d run through in my head of the time I finally told her, this was a thousand times worse.
All I wanted was to spare her pain, but in the process I’d hurt her more. I had lied to her, plain and simple. As soon as we began to get serious, I should’ve told her. But I hadn’t and it became harder and harder as time moved on.
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Chapter Twenty-Six
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Wrenn
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I threw myself down on my bed, not bothering to strip the wet clothes from my body. This couldn’t be happening. How could life be so unfair? The thought of losing him was too much. I couldn’t go through life with him just waiting for this disease to attack.
I sat up and walked over to my desk. Sitting down, I flicked open my laptop. I typed “Huntington’s disease” into Google and clicked on the first link: an entry from the Huntington’s Society of America. I’d never even heard of it. I had no idea what it entailed, or what kind of life he could expect if he did in fact have the disease. Would he just drop dead one day? Would there be symptoms? All these questions were racing through my mind, unanswered.
. . . Huntington’s disease is a neurodegenerative disease that causes breakdown of brain cells . . .
. . . symptoms include muscle coordination loss, memory loss and loss of cognitive function . . .
. . . no known cure . . .
. . . life expectancy after initial showing of symptoms is usually ten to twenty years . . .