“Just me, I guess,” Sean said when he saw Josh in the doorway. “Somebody just came out to ask for a lightbulb, so Andy and Rose went down to get it, but they knocked something over so they had to go back down. Said they’d be up in a few minutes.”
Josh nodded. Sounded like a normal Saturday night at the old home-sweet-home.
“You okay, kid?”
“Sure.” Josh shoved a hand through his hair and blew out a breath. “No, not really. What a total mind-fuck.”
“Mitch said to tell you he’s not responding to the offer until Monday. You can still change your mind.”
“I won’t.”
“Don’t make yourself into some kind of martyr for our sakes, Josh.”
“Screw you. I’m not playing the martyr here.” He sat in one of the chairs and rested his elbows on his knees. “It wasn’t all about you guys. Some of it, yeah, and Rosie. But it’s me, too. There’s a difference between wanting to get away from home and wanting home to go away forever.”
“Okay. As long as you’re not throwing yourself on the sword because of us.” Sean relaxed against the couch. “Ryan couldn’t wait. With the storm coming up from the south, he didn’t want to chance it. I’m going to hit the road myself pretty soon.”
“I feel like an asshole, making you drive here for nothing.”
“It wasn’t for nothing.” He was quiet for a moment, then cleared his throat. “I owe you an apology, Josh.”
“For what?”
“You know I had a really hard time growing up here. I wanted a regular house that didn’t have strangers in it all the time.”
“Katie had a hard time with it, too,” Josh said, smiling at the memory of New Year’s Eve.
“When I got out of the army, I told you I wanted to visit Uncle Leo and Aunt Mary in New Hampshire before I came home.”
“Nothing wrong with that. You hadn’t seen them in a long time.”
“I did want to see them, but I also didn’t want to come back to Whitford. I was afraid I’d end up stuck here helping you and I didn’t want to do that. I should have come anyway, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”
Josh winced, though he hoped it didn’t show too much. Having one of his brothers around to shoulder some of the responsibility might have made a big difference in his attitude. Then again, two of them having shitty attitudes because neither of them wanted to be there wouldn’t have done anything but drive away the rest of their customers.
“You had to do what was right for you,” Josh told his brother. “And if you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have met Emma and we wouldn’t be waiting for little Sprout. I’m going to be that kid’s favorite uncle, just so you know.”
The stress lines smoothed from Sean’s face as he smiled. “I can’t imagine not having Emma.”
“I’m happy for you. One hundred percent.”
“Thanks. So tell me about you and Katie. Is it serious?”
It wasn’t not serious, but he still wasn’t sure how to answer that. “We’ve been having fun, mostly. That probably sounds messed up, but we haven’t exactly had a State of the Relationship talk.”
“Hey, you’re talking to a guy who pretended to be a total stranger’s fiancé and ended up marrying her. I know ‘messed up,’ and two friends hooking up doesn’t qualify.”
“Even though it’s Katie?”
Sean shrugged. “Maybe if it was a different one of us, but you and Katie have always been a pair. All you guys did was take it up a level.”
What level that was, exactly, remained to be seen. He hadn’t spent too much time analyzing what was going on between him and Katie, but if he was going to be stuck in Whitford for the rest of his life, he’d have to think about it pretty soon.
Stuck in Whitford for the rest of his life. He felt the familiar tightness in his chest and rubbed at the spot. At least this time he’d had some kind of choice, even it had been a crappy case of all or nothing.
“I hope you know Mitch will be crunching numbers as the year goes on, especially if you get the four-wheeler trail through here in the summer. As soon as we can, we’ll see about hiring a manager.”
Josh nodded, just as he had when Katie had brought up the possibility, but he didn’t put too much faith in that plan. A manager whose last name wasn’t Kowalski would expect a salary and benefits and all that good stuff. Business was increasing, but it would be a long time before the lodge could bear that kind of expense.
“I should probably get going,” Sean said after he glanced at the clock. “It’s a long drive.”
They both got up and Sean went to the basement door. “Hey, Rosie, I’m leaving!”
Josh stood off to the side while Sean hugged Rose and shook Andy’s hand. Now that the day was almost behind him, he just wanted to stretch out on the couch and close his eyes.
“I’m going to head out, too,” Andy said. “I told Drew I’d stop by tonight and hang out for a while.”
After the flurry of goodbyes, Josh closed the door and rested his forehead against the cold windowpane.
“Are you okay?”