“Why didn’t you say anything about it?”
“Why didn’t you?” The exhaustion on his face made her regret the sharp tone and she tried again. “I was hoping you’d tell me yourself. I don’t know why you couldn’t talk to me about it.”
“I should have.” He blew out a breath, staring at her ceiling. “I met with my brothers today. And Liz, by phone.”
She waited a few seconds but, when he didn’t say anything else, she went and sat next to him. “How did it go?”
“They all agreed to the sale.”
Even though she’d been expecting it, the words cut a lot deeper than she’d prepared herself for. There was a part of her—the part that had been Josh’s friend for their entire lives—that was happy for him, but most of her wanted to curl up and cry.
“I said no,” he added in a low voice.
Oh, God, she thought, what did that mean? Even though she desperately wished he’d decide to stay in Whitford to be with her, she didn’t actually want to be the reason he said no. Eventually he’d resent her as much as he resented the Northern Star. “Why? I thought it’s what you wanted.”
He lifted a hand, then let it drop back to his lap as if he didn’t know what to say. Then he turned his head to look at her. “Selling the lodge to that couple was a forever thing. It would never be home again and not just for me. For Rosie and the others. Did you know I sleep in the room that was Uncle Leo’s when he was a kid?”
She smiled and put her hand on his so he’d stop tapping it on his leg. He curled his fingers through hers. “I didn’t know that.”
“He carved my aunt Mary’s initials in the windowsill.”
She squeezed his hand. Generations of family might bring a sense of obligation, but they also came with a shared history and bond that couldn’t be easy to break away from. “What are you going to do now?”
“What I’ve always done.”
Something about the way he said it pulled at her heartstrings. He might not have been able to part with the place, but it hadn’t been a total change of heart. In a way, he still hadn’t really had a choice.
She let go of his hand so she could put her arm around his shoulders. Shifting a little into her embrace, Josh rested his head on her chest and tears blurred her vision as she stroked his arm
“Maybe plan B won’t take as long as you think,” she said. “The way business is going, it won’t be long before you can hire a manager to run it for the family.”
“Yeah.” She could tell by the flat way he said it that he didn’t really believe it.
“Do you want to go somewhere? We can go for a drive and find some food along the way.”
“I should get back to the lodge. I’ve been driving around half the damn day and Rosie just read me the riot act on the phone. Sean and Ryan want to say goodbye before they head out.”
“They’re not staying over another night?”
“I guess not. The storm track shifted, so it might be sloppy tomorrow. They all went out on the sleds after I left this morning and now they want to get home before the weather goes south. We’ve got a guy and his kids checking out early, too.”
“I’m glad you stopped by. And I’m glad you finally talked to me.”
He grabbed the hand she’d been rubbing his arm with and kissed her knuckles before holding it to his cheek. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I don’t…talk about things well.”
“I know. Someday you’ll realize talking things out with somebody who cares about you can make things easier. Maybe.”
“I don’t want to go home. I want to stay here with you and relax.” He kissed her palm before pushing himself to his feet. “But I don’t want my brothers hitting bad weather because they were waiting for me.”
She stood and pulled him into a hug. “Call me if you want to talk later, okay? After you see your brothers again, I mean.”
He kissed her, and it was a long, slow, sweet kiss that made her tremble. “Thanks, Katie. I guess you’ll be stuck with me now, huh?”
She smiled, but after he’d let himself out, she sank onto a chair and let out a breath. She’d been so sure he’d come to tell her he was leaving Whitford she was still having trouble believing he wasn’t.
And even though she knew he was conflicted about the decision and probably angry to find himself still stuck in Whitford, she couldn’t help but be a little bit glad.
*
Sean was alone in the living room when Josh got home. The basement door had been ajar when he’d gone through the kitchen and he’d heard faint voices down there, so he’d assumed Andy and Rose had gone down there for something. And since he’d already noted that Ryan’s and Mitch’s vehicles were missing, he wasn’t surprised that Sean was the only one there.