A Summer to Remember

chapter Eleven

Martha’s Vineyard was amazing and an absolute revelation. Although all the spots in the world where the rich and beautiful gathered had a certain feel and appeal, the roaring Atlantic ocean, the mansion and being with my friends made the experience that much more wonderful and magical.

I had to admit finally being on Paul’s arm didn’t hurt the situation one bit though it was a bit annoying to see Ashley there with my brother. They were definitely sleeping together by the way they were all lovey dovey with one another and I know it shouldn’t have bothered me but it did. I couldn’t help but feel the only reason why she was still around was because she wasn’t with Paul and wanted to prove to him she could be happy with any man and he was the one who’d lost out.

However, she didn’t know Paul at all because he had a one track mind and all he seemed to see was me. It was Thursday afternoon and still Independence Day. Most of us had been up since ten in the morning and when we weren’t sunning our asses next to the perfect pool in the back of the mansion, we were fixing drinks and goofing off with one another.

I finally separated Talia from Gerald and convinced her to walk on the beach with me.

She acquiesced, albeit reluctantly, and we enjoyed one another’s company in silence before she said, “Gerald is pretty hot, isn’t he? I mean, he’s got all this money and you would never know it because he is so down to earth and cool.”

I looked towards her as a gentle breeze caressed our faces and I pulled strands of my hair from my face. “Well your parents would certainly love him, that’s for sure. I can practically see your mother frothing at the mouth about him being her potential son-in-law.”

“Jesus, Jerrica, who am I kidding? I can’t marry anyone at the moment and I can ill-afford to be involved especially with someone who doesn’t possess an artistic bone in their body. I take that back, Gerald learned both the piano and the cello when he was an adolescent but it was just to keep him well rounded. He broke his right wrist playing tennis and there went any kind of serious music career, not that he cared because his head was firmly placed in the business world. I think he would be able to understand me though and maybe…he can help me finally forget about Seth,” she explained in a husky voice.

I knelt down on the sand and grabbed a beautiful seashell that had washed up along the shoreline. “You know I have always supported you in your decisions and I think it is great you and Gerald are getting along. You don’t plan to do anything with him this weekend, do you?”

“Of course not.” Talia knelt down beside me and grabbed the seashell from my hands to study it. “That wouldn’t exactly endear him to me, now would it? He’s a great conversationalist and we talk about everything. Pop culture, art, film, music…he’s a huge fan of Scarlet Fever and was quite shocked to find out I co-wrote their biggest hit to date. Other than that, there is always finance to talk about but I am completely hopeless on that front.”

“Perhaps he can give you some pointers,” I remarked before we both burst into girlish laughter.

“Oh and I suppose all your talk with Paul is about financial bullshit as well?”

“No, not really.” I paused as we both stood and I dusted the sand off my knees. “The only time he has ever mentioned the subject was because of Kevin’s issues…turns out the bastard was doing a little insider trading. He and Jude found out about it but didn’t know what to do because they weren’t sure if we were still close or not.”

Talia glared at me with pale green eyes. “I hope you told them they could stick it to him as much as possible. F*cking a*shole. After everything he put you through and with what happened in the Hamptons, you don’t owe that bastard anything.”

We began to walk again. “Of course I told them both as much and Kevin is no longer an employee at CDG. In fact, he’s about to be brought up on charges and these are the kind he can’t wriggle out of so easily.”

“There you two are!” a female voice exclaimed and we both turned at the same time to see Autumn and Savannah walking towards us.

It was absolutely so cool for it to be the four of us again and I smiled at them both as they joined us.

“How wonderful is this weekend? Did you check out some of the eye candy on offer?” Autumn inquired as she threw a loose strand of her platinum hair over her shoulder. “Seriously, girls, it doesn’t get much better than this. Martha’s Vineyard and a house full of hot men. What is a girl to do?”

“Uh oh,” Savannah murmured. “Do tell who you have your eye on?”

“Cyd Campbell is hot but I don’t think he’s interested in me. He keeps giving Ashley ‘the sexy eyes’ look which certainly doesn’t sit well with Jude. They have been bickering since you two left and we just had to get away. Jesus, you’d think she was some freakin’ goddess or something. First she was with Paul and now Jude. I don’t see that being a long term relationship built to last.”

“It won’t be,” I cut in. “Jude gets bored easily. I am surprised he’s been with her as long as he has but…things just might get sticky after this weekend.”

“I hope they do,” Autumn replied. “I’ve always had a soft spot for your brother you know.”

“God knows why…he’s such a player, Autumn,” Savannah interrupted.

“I think I smell a bit of jealousy,” Talia sing-songed. “Please do not look at me that way and tell me you don’t have a thing for Jerrica’s brother—”

“Gag alert!” I exclaimed. “Seriously, if any of you like my brother like that, I sure as hell don’t want to know about it.”

“Then maybe you can understand how cool he’s being about you and Paul and go easier on him,” Talia suggested in an even-handed tone. “Seriously, Jerrica, I think your brother is being as cool as he can be and you haven’t been exactly one hundred percent behind him. Think about it: Paul is like his brother and all the sudden, he finds out you two have feelings for one another? How squeamish must he be feeling right now?”

I threw my arms in the air in exasperation. “Well, for one, I didn’t just develop a ‘thing’ for Paul. It has been a long time coming. Second of all, I really do adore Paul and this isn’t a crush or just infatuation. I have loved the guy for as long as I can remember—I had feelings for him way before Kevin even came on to the scene and I thought perhaps if I found a guy that was like him, maybe those feelings would slowly vanish but they never did.”

Savannah walked over and stared at me with those gorgeous cerulean blue eyes of hers. “Then we want you to be happy, Jerrica. We all got sick of the male merry-go-round after Kevin and if Paul makes you happy then we are all very excited for you.”

Talia grabbed Autum’s hand and she took Savannah’s. “How about a group hug, huh? To seal this wonderful friendship and to remind one another that we have all been through some relationship troubles but through it all, we have always seen one another through.

We embraced and for the first time in a long time, I was completely satisfied because I had my friends back and besides finding a wonderful guy, friendship was definitely at the top of my list.



That evening, everything went from bad to worse as far as Jude and Ashley were concerned. By the time we sat down for dinner, she had decided to seat herself next to Cyd and hung on his every word like the vacuous bitch she truly was while Savannah sat next to my brother and discussed men’s clothing.

Paul and I were late for dinner as usual but it wasn’t because we’d taken the plunge and that is what was starting to drive me crazy. I wanted to be with this man desperately and he teased me to no end but the results were always the same. It was never the right time and I didn’t know how many times I could bitch slap my libido into place before it took overtook me completely.

“You two sure did take your sweet time…what were you doing exactly?” Autumn teased in an overly dramatic voice.

I swear I would have knocked her sideways if she wasn’t one of my best friends. “We weren’t doing anything except showering and getting dressed. Would you like a detailed itinerary?”

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Ashley spoke up before she sipped from her Dom Perignon rosé champagne. “When we were together, Paul had a certain technique that definitely drives every woman he’s been with crazy…me included. I’m sure he was just trying it out on his new conquest, isn’t that right, Jerrica? It’s not as if you have a great track record with men and how long is this one going to last? A week? A month? Perhaps a bit longer before you get bored and your eyes wander to yet another one of your brother’s friends to f*ck?”

“Excuse me but who do you think it is you’re talking to?” Talia interrupted in an icy voice. “How dare you believe just because you are from some well known WASP family you can talk to my friend any way you like?”

“It’s no problem, Tal, I can fight my own battles.” I glared at the icy brunette with the stunning bluer than blue eyes. “And speaking of whores, how many have you been through? First Paul, then my brother and now you have moved on to Cyd? Damn, woman, as they say in some hip-hop songs, you sure do know how to get around…and around—”

“Don’t you dare act so self righteous towards me! You know absolutely nothing about me!”

“I know all I need to know and sweetie, that is more than enough. You’re nothing but a socialite fishing for a rich husband and what is so sad about your predicament is you don’t even try to hide it. You’re just here…trying to see what kind of great deal you can get and if someone better comes along then I pity the guy who falls for you!”

Ashley stood and faced me at the dinner table. “Oh yeah? And what does that make you? Some poor helpless little freak who can’t even have children because Kevin squelched on the money and you had to get that bad abortion at Vassar? You don’t think the whole of high society knows about that? Did your brother act surprised when you told him and what about Paul? Did he cry the necessary crocodile tears and tell you everything is all right?

“Kevin used you and when he was through with you, he told everyone and sundry what happened and why he dumped the great Jerrica Peterson. He said you couldn’t have babies because he made sure to ruin you the way your father ruined his family. And you know what the funny part about the situation is? You fell for that weak game and his even more pitiful charms hook, line, and sinker.”

I stared at the young woman who possessed a smirk so wide it almost looked like a smile belonging to The Joker from a Batman film. She wasn’t just making this up and everyone in our circle of friends knew about my humiliation at Vassar College?

My face felt so hot, I knew it was scarlet from embarrassment, anger, resentment and hurt. I swallowed my champagne in a couple of painful gulps, stood and walked out of the dining room. There was no way I would ever let that cunt see me run but I certainly didn’t have to put up with her company if I didn’t want to.

The first thought in my head when I made it to the suite I shared with Paul was to flee. However, I didn’t bring my car and there was no where to go. I was trapped here, at Martha’s Vineyard, with my whole past naked and exposed for the world to see and there wasn’t anything I could do about it what so ever.

I paced up and down before I flung myself on the bed and grabbed a decorative pillow. I pushed it to my face and screamed out my sheer frustration before the tears began to flow like water and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

The door to our suite opened and I felt Paul take me in his arms as I continued to sob; a deluge of emotions had opened up inside me and were flooding to the surface. I couldn’t stop them no matter how hard I tried and I continued to cry like a baby on his shoulders. Gut-wrenching, heart-rending aches of pain and chaos erupted inside of me and although I knew I should have been vexed and angry, some part of me felt free. It wasn’t a secret I had to cling to any longer and although that should have made me at least somewhat relieved, all I could absorb at that moment were the rawness of my feelings.

Paul didn’t say a word and allowed me to cry until the tears dried up and there was nothing left to grieve for including the child I had so callously thrown away or my own ambivalence about what this would mean about my future in high society with all friends knowing the miserable truth about me and my shitty past and ruined reputation.

This had all happened because I had crappy taste in men and had chosen someone like Kevin to make special only to assuage the pain of not being able to have the man I truly wanted. The one whose shoulder I had cried upon and who continued to hold me as if I were the most precious gem in the world.

I wondered if it was possible to fall more in love with Paul than I already felt at that moment.