A Family of Their Own

Chapter Fifteen

Ross eyed his watch and stared down the road. Kelsey had called and estimated her arrival time, but he didn’t want to wait at home. Sitting in front of her house seemed easier than pacing and wearing out his carpet.

She’d said little about the funeral since Lucy was with her, but his mind never left her situation. He knew it would be difficult to deal with the funeral, and he prayed that she’d talked with Karen. The guilt would be lifted from her, and that would be a blessing.

He checked his watch again. A half hour had passed, and he suspected that she would arrive any minute. He leaned back a moment, pondering his news but not wanting to say a word until they talked about her trip.

When he lifted his head, his pulse raced. Kelsey’s car was coming down the street, and when she pulled into her driveway, she gave him a questioning look. Alone. A frown pulled at his face.

He stepped from his minivan and hit the lock button on his remote as he approached her car. “How are you? Where’s Lucy?”

“She’s fine, but she’s been so wound up, I called Lexie and let her go over to see Cooper. He’s doing so well now, and I can only hope Lucy’s tests will offer the same good news.”

Although he loved seeing Lucy, having her busy for a while relieved him. Now they could talk without her listening. He wanted to know so many things.

She opened the rear door and pulled out her overnight case. He looked for the other bag. “Where’s Lucy’s bag?”

“She took it into Lexie’s. She had a couple of things and some photographs from Karen that were Doug’s, and she wanted to show Cooper.”

Ross took the bag from Kelsey’s hands. “Were the gifts okay with you?”

She nodded. “I was happy for Lucy. She needed the connection and the closure.”

“I’m glad then.” He slipped his hand into hers, and it felt so natural. “I missed you.”

She chuckled. “You mean that old saying about absence making the heart grow fonder is true?”

“Undoubtedly.” He squeezed her hand as they climbed the few steps to the covered porch. He stood back while she unlocked the door, and she held it open as he carried in her bag. Instead of asking, he headed for the master bedroom and placed it on her bed.

When he returned, he heard Kelsey in the kitchen. “I’m making coffee.”

“Perfect.” He strode into the room and slipped onto a stool at the island. “How’d it go?”

She drew in a breath and told him the details, but left out what he really wanted to know. “And did you have a chance to talk with Karen?”

She lifted tired eyes to his. “I did. I thought it would be difficult but, you know what? It wasn’t. By the time I’d gone through the visitation and the funeral, I ached so badly for her. My feelings for Doug ended so long ago, and though I grieved, it was for Lucy and Karen and for my behavior in not talking with Doug earlier.”

He slipped off the stool and moved to her side. “I’m grateful, for your sake.” He slid his arm around her back and drew her closer.

“So am I. A heavy weight lifted from me. One I’d carried far too long. I finally realized that bitterness and regret bound me to the past, and I want to look to the future.”

His heart sang. “I love hearing you say that.” Love. The word rippled through his chest. He looked into her eyes, and she responded.

Her mouth drew toward his, and he lowered his lips to hers, drinking in the sweet sense of completeness. He missed her every moment they were apart. She filled his mind each day, and he believed it was possible to be in love and still be focused on two other females he adored—his daughter and Lucy.

Kelsey trembled in his arms, her body yielding against his, the weariness of her trip seeming to melt away. “This feels so right.” She tilted her head back and gazed into his eyes. “I thought of you so much while I was gone.”

Her face flickered with a new thought. “And ached at a funeral with no faith message. It was so sad. Doug attended church, and I’d always trusted that he was a believer, but the service felt empty and hopeless.”

He listened, holding her close and sensing the sorrow she felt. “The Lord knew his heart. That’s your hope for him. Shame can pull us from faith, and hopefully in those last days, he returned to what he’d believed.” Ross longed for a better answer, one with more assurance, but only the Lord knew the truth. He still had good news to share, and this seemed like the right time. “I heard some good news Friday morning.”

She jerked her head upward. “About—?”

“The insurance. The medication is being covered. In fact, I picked up the prescription right after I heard. Dr. Timmons called it in and Peyton’s been on it for two days.” His chest expanded with hope.

Her joyful expression sank. “You should have called me.”

“I knew you had a lot on your mind, and I didn’t want to give you my wonderful news while you were dealing with a difficult situation.” His excuse sounded empty. In truth, he wanted to see the happiness on her face. His motivation was selfish.

“Please, tell me all the good news you can. I want to know…and the bad news, too, Ross. If we’re this close, we need to share our joys and sorrows.”

He nodded as he raised his hand. “Scout’s honor. I promise and I’m sorry.”

She brushed her lips across his again and eased back. “I smell coffee.”

He sniffed the air, smelling the brisk scent, and he grinned.

Kelsey slipped from his arms and headed for the coffeepot, but he prayed that was as far as she would slip away from him. He wanted to hold her forever.



The doctor’s voice faded as Kelsey’s mind spun with his diagnosis. He gazed at her over his glasses, his face serious, and she knew they had to face his conclusion.

“But…” She shook her head, digging into her thoughts for alternatives. “I don’t understand. What about gamma knife surgery?” It was noninvasive and safer, with only a short hospital stay, but Dr. Bryant only looked at her, his eyes intense.

“I just explained that, Mrs. Rhodes.”

She flinched, wondering where her mind had been when he’d told her. She lowered her head. “I’m sorry.” Her hands twisted in her lap, and she couldn’t bear to look at Lucy.

“We’re still not sure until we get inside if it’s an actual tumor or scar tissue, and the gamma knife can lead to more scar tissue. We want this surgery to be the final one for Lucy. If it’s not a tumor, then we’ve won a battle, and the scar tissue can be removed, hopefully for the last time.”

“The last time.” She spoke the words bursting in her head. “If only we could count on that.”

“You’ve been doing well, right, Lucy?”

“I’ve been great. No symptoms even.”

Kelsey finally turned her head to see her daughter’s face. She looked strong and determined to win the battle. “But a craniotomy. Is that our only choice?” That was the word she didn’t want to hear. A craniotomy meant opening her skull and removing a bone flap. It meant Lucy would lose her lovely hair again. It meant…too much. She fought her tears.

“It is because it’s the best way to remove whatever is growing. We can keep our fingers crossed—pray—that Lucy will be on the road to health again. And it’s a small setback if she’s tumor free. If not, we’ve taken care of it before it grows, and that’s good, too.”

“It’s not a tumor.” Lucy’s voice cut through his final word.

Dr. Bryant blinked. “You sound confident, Lucy.”

“I am, because I prayed.” Her jaw had set in determination.

He gave a desperate look at Kelsey. “That’s very good, but do you realize that…”

Kelsey jumped to his assistance. “Lucy knows that sometimes God’s answer is no. She’s still confident.”

He flipped her file closed. “Okay, then.” He drew in a deep breath. “That is how it stands. We’ll need to set a surgery date. I’ll schedule you for some lab tests, and you’ll donate some blood. Don’t take any aspirin or medication that might thin the blood. Okay? You both know the routine.”

Too well. Kelsey rose and stepped toward the doorway while Lucy unfolded her body from the chair and followed. She said goodbye, then draped her arm across Lucy’s shoulders. As she did, Lucy’s blond curls brushed her arm and her heart ached. She swallowed her tears and managed to suppress her emotions.

When they reached the car, Lucy tilted her head upward, searching her mother’s eyes. And as Kelsey grasped the door handle, Lucy patted her hand. “It’s okay, Mom.”

Kelsey’s chest compressed. “I know it will be, sweetie.” The endearment gave her away.

Lucy gave a final pat and rounded the car to the passenger side. “Can we stop at Peyton’s house?”

Kelsey drew back at Lucy’s question. “Why do you want to go there?”

“Because they care about me, and you’ll want to talk with Ross.” Pure innocence shown on her face.

“I planned to call him.” She glanced at her watch. “We can drive by, and if they’re home, we’ll stop.”

Lucy gave a nod and leaned back, listening to the music she’d turned on earlier. The upbeat music resounded in a heavy bass thump-thump, capturing the rhythm of Kelsey’s heart. Lucy’s request had come out of nowhere. The girls’ relationship had yet to stabilize—friendly one day and distant the next, but today could bring a giant leap toward solidifying their friendship.

When the car rolled down Ross’s street, she saw his minivan in the driveway. She needed Ross’s strength right now. Yet the same dread rippled down her spine. Two girls struggling between life and death. Yet neither had bonded with the other. Two parents who had connected but who struggled with their daughters’ health issues and too little time to give to each other. Would the fear ever end? Awash in hopelessness, she pulled in and parked, sending up a prayer for the Lord to take charge. Everything was out of her hands.

Lucy jumped out, hurried toward the front door and rang the bell before Kelsey reached the steps. When the door opened, Ross’s eyes widened in concern. “Lucy, what’s—” Then he spotted her coming up the sidewalk and looked relieved. “This is a nice surprise.” But as he said the words, his expression changed. “You’re coming from the doctor’s appointment, aren’t you?”

Kelsey nodded. “Lucy asked to stop by. I hope it’s okay.”

“Okay?” He slipped his arm around her shoulders. “It’s where you should be.”

His words rushed through her. In his face, she saw that his words had a deeper meaning. Her chest throbbed. “Can we talk?”

Worry spread over his face as he steered her into the great room. “Peyton’s in her bedroom, Lucy.” He motioned toward the doorway.

Lucy rapped on the door and slipped inside as Ross drew Kelsey into his arms. “Bad news?”

She nodded, fearing she would break into a sob. “We’ve been through this before, Ross, but this time I don’t think I can handle it. It’s been too much. Too much emotion with Doug’s death. Too much vacillating about our relationship. I’m bouncing off walls with no way to stop.”

He cradled her head and pressed it to his shoulders. Though he was silent, his action spoke clearly. The tears she’d held back streamed from her eyes onto his knit shirt. His firm hand massaged her back while the other held her tightly. His breathing eased his own tension, giving hers direction to follow. She drew in a ragged breath, and released it into acceptance.

“I’m glad you came.” Ross’s whisper brushed her cheek. “You belong here with me to share the worry and disappointment.” He eased back and longing filled his eyes. “Let’s sit and you can tell me what happened.”

She shifted to the sofa, his arm still supporting her, and she sank into the cushion. The specialist’s report tumbled from her as she wrestled with her sagging emotions, but Ross’s firm touch, the compassion lighting his face, gave her courage.

“The surgery is bad news, but you still have a lot to pray about. Scar tissue is better than another tumor. At this point, they aren’t sure. So let’s think positive.”

“I’m trying.” His words inched a grin to her lips. “You should have heard Lucy.”

“Did she cry?” He looked confused.

“No, she told the doctor it was nothing, because she’d prayed.”

A whoosh of air escaped his lips. “What a girl. And you know what? She’s right. Children have enough faith to let the Lord move mountains. She knows her body, and she understands her physical symptoms. Lucy could be right.”

The explanation sizzled through Kelsey. She hadn’t thought of that, and the idea renewed her hope. “That’s true. So I need to—”

Peyton’s door flew open, and the girls charged into the room. “Dad, Lucy’s head has to be opened up.”

Kelsey rose, seeing how distraught she was. She hurried to her and pulled Peyton into her arms. “It sounds terrible, Peyton, but Lucy’s been through this before, and she’ll be fine again.”

Peyton’s eyes searched hers, then turned to her dad. “But they shave her head and put a big hole in her skull.”

Kelsey couldn’t talk around that. It was too true. She wished Lucy hadn’t been so graphic. “Her hair grows back, and the hole will be repaired.” It sounded so mechanical. So simplified. She was at a loss for the right words.

Lucy edged closer and wriggled her way into the embrace. “I’ll be fine, Peyton. I promise.”

Peyton drew back and wrapped her arms around Lucy. “I’ll pray for you every day.”

Kelsey shifted toward Ross, witnessing the amazing bonding she and Ross had hoped for. But today it faded in light of the thoughts that had just rushed through her mind. This would be their lives—if not one daughter, then the other. No relationship could survive the constant stress.

Ross’s mouth stood agape as he observed the girls. He pulled his gaze away and looked at her. “Another prayer answered.” He slipped to her side and slid his arm around her back.

Kelsey stood in his embrace, cherishing the moment. With God all things were possible, and she would try to cling to that truth, even though everything felt hopeless.



Kelsey watched through the window and saw Ross standing at the door while Peyton rolled her overnight case up the walk. That was a first. Usually Ross didn’t let Peyton carry a thing. Kelsey stepped from the dining room into the foyer and pulled open the door as Peyton’s case bounced up the low steps to the porch. Ross stood back as she rolled it inside.

“Peyton.” She gave her a one-armed hug. “You can take your luggage into Lucy’s bedroom.”

Peyton turned down the hallway.

When she vanished, Kelsey faced Ross. “If she and Lucy want to share the room, that’s fine, or Lucy is willing to sleep upstairs if Peyton wants a room of her own.”

“She’s never spent the night with any girlfriend. I think she’ll want to have a real pajama party.” He studied her face, but she was unable to control her grin. “If that’s what they still call it.”

“I do, but the girls call it an overnighter.” She chuckled at his lack of knowledge.

He grinned back. “Thanks so much for this. You’re sure you won’t mind? I’m not inconveniencing you?”

“I’m glad to have her here. It’s a good distraction for Lucy. She’s off all her medication that could be a problem during surgery, and now it’s just wait. You know what that means.”

From his expression, he understood. “And she’ll still have labwork.”

She nodded. “Probably a day or two before the surgery.”

“Which is coming up too fast.”

His comment jarred her, yet it was true. “But it will be wonderful to get it over with.”

He gave her a thumbs-up. “And to hear the good news.”

She realized that his action stemmed from the concern she couldn’t hide. Good news had been her prayer since she’d heard that Lucy needed to undergo yet another surgery.

He checked his watch and sidled closer. “I hope Peyton’s okay spending the night.”

Typical parent. Kelsey chuckled. “Don’t worry. She’ll be fine. Anyway, we have plans that’ll keep them both busy. And really, don’t rush. Pick her up anytime tomorrow.”

“Thanks.” His expression changed. “Today Ethan suggested I arrange a Dreams Come True trip for Peyton, but I—”

“That’s a great idea, Ross. She’s been sick so long.”

“But it wouldn’t be right now.”

“Right?” Her mind spun. “Why?” He made no sense.

He touched her cheek. “Not with Lucy’s problems again. The girls have finally gotten closer. A Dreams Come True trip for Peyton could be their undoing.”

“Ross, no. She deserves—”

“No. Lucy deserves it, too, and now she can’t.”

Her emotions spun out of control. His comment proved what her heart told her. They couldn’t spend their lives stopping one daughter from enjoying life because the other was ill. That’s what their relationship would be. That’s all it could be.

“Really, it’s for the best. Maybe another time.” He glanced at his watch again. “I’d better be on my way. I’m picking up Ethan and he expected me fifteen minutes ago.” He grinned. “Two guys out on the town.”

“Right.” She gave him a playful swat, realizing that he was trying to lift her spirit.

Then Kelsey saw it coming. Ross lowered his lips and gave her a quick kiss. When he drew back, she glanced around him. The girls had never observed affection, and she didn’t want to confuse them. And she didn’t want to confuse herself.

“Drive carefully.” But as she looked into his eyes, her wavering heart gave another kick. Being close to someone who cared about her felt so good. She tilted her head and pressed her lips to his again, but this time they lingered. Her heart took flight as it did when he touched her, and when he left, the same loneliness would seep into her chest until she saw him again. The growing sensation rioted inside her. What was she doing?

Ross headed to the car, and when he turned around, she wiggled her fingers in a goodbye wave, her heart tripping again. Goodbye. Could she ever say it and mean it? Goodbye forever? She watched his car vanish, headed back to the living room, but as she passed the hallway, Lucy’s door opened, and the girls peeked out.

“Is he gone?” Lucy glanced toward Peyton leaning over her shoulder.

“Peyton, he didn’t say goodbye again, because—”

“That’s okay.” Peyton’s smile brightened. “We said goodbye, but I’m anxious to start the Father’s Day present.”

Kelsey’s tension lessened, seeing the excitement on Peyton’s face. “The present. Great.” She drew closer to Lucy’s room. “Did you find some photographs like the ones I mentioned?”

Lucy flung the door open and Kelsey saw photographs spread out on her bed. “Wow! That’s a lot of pictures.” She’d only purchased one scrapbook.

“Mom, she brought lots so we can pick the best.” Lucy’s eyes rolled, as they so often did.

“Okay. That was smart.” She wandered into the room and gazed at the photos. Her heart knotted when she saw Ross’s wedding photo with Ruthie, photos of them with Peyton as a baby and as a toddler. “How did you find these?” Her expression looked like a conspirator’s.

“Dad didn’t move everything out of the bedroom when I moved in. Those built-in shelves that have doors on them are filled with old albums that my mom kept there. I think he forgot, but I used to look at them after my mom died so I wouldn’t forget her.”

Kelsey grasped a photo and gazed at it, pressing her lips together to hold back her sob. She’d been about six when her own mother died. Picturing Peyton stealing away to look at these photos broke her heart. Managing to hold back her tears, she placed the photograph back with the others and drew Peyton into her arms. “That was a good thing to do, Peyton, but I don’t think you’d ever forget your mom, even though you were young.”

“I won’t.” Her embrace tightened, and Kelsey struggled again to waylay her emotion.

“Okay.” She eased back and motioned to the photos. “Pick out about twenty of your favorites and if we have room, we can add some more.”

Peyton nodded as she eyed the spread of snapshots. “But—” She swung around. “I don’t have any of you and Lucy. I want some of those, too.”

Kelsey’s pulse skittered. “Are you sure?”

Peyton’s eyes widened. “You’re like a mom to me, and Lucy’s like my sister. You should be in the scrapbook, too.”

Peyton undid her. She pulled the girl into her arms and kissed her hair, holding her close. Her cheek quaked with emotion, and she grabbed a breath before she tried to speak. “Thank you, Peyton.” The love in the girl’s eyes struck her like a blow. Saying goodbye to Ross meant walking out on Peyton. Kelsey’s wounds deepened.

Lucy looked on, her eyes shifting from her to Peyton, and Kelsey wasn’t sure how she felt about the girl’s declaration, but in moments, she wrapped her arm around Peyton. “You are just like a new sister.”

Kelsey willed herself to straighten. Her legs trembled as she moved toward the door. “Here’s what we’ll do. While you start on the scrapbook, Lucy can go through a few of our photos. We have some nice ones from Lucy’s birthday party.” The silly photo of Ross and her balancing on one foot to please Audrey came to mind. She wouldn’t call that one nice. It was ridiculous, but it was fun.

A few minutes later, the two girls sat at the dining-room table covered in newspaper while they sorted photos and looked at the scrapbooking supplies she’d purchased. “You know how to do this, right?”

Peyton shuffled through the background sheets she’d bought. “I saw a TV program about scrapbooking so I know a little.” She looked up. “But if I have a problem, I’ll let you know.”

Kelsey pulled out some of the decorative accessories. “Here you have these little bubbles where you can add words and make it look like they’re talking—like in a cartoon. And these are different things to make the page fun.” She gave them a few stickers and die cuts. “I’m going into the kitchen, and if you need me just holler.”

Both girls were already delving into the supplies before she finished speaking. She shrugged and slipped through the doorway. In the kitchen, she started making cookies, forcing herself to forget her depressing concerns. In the background, the girls’ voices jumbled together in conversation, although she couldn’t make out their words.

The scent of cookies filled the air when she pulled them from the oven. As if she’d rung a fire alarm, Lucy and Peyton charged into the room, sniffing the air. She poured each one a glass of milk and set out a small plate of warm cookies. They slipped onto stools at the island and watched her make another batch.

“Mom.”

Kelsey turned and waited.

Lucy’s eyes shifted as if she were uncertain what to say.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, but I want to know when I’m going to start getting curves like Peyton.”

Peyton gave her a poke.

The question caught her off guard, and Kelsey stood a second without knowing what to say. She licked her lips. “Peyton’s a year older, so you’ll get more curves in another year.” She pointed to Lucy’s slender waist. “See, you have curves starting already.”

She gazed at herself a moment before raising her head. “The day school let out, a boy flirted with Peyton. He told her he’d miss her during the summer.”

“You weren’t supposed to say anything, Lucy.” Peyton jammed her fists into her waist. “I’m not going to tell you anything again.”

Lucy’s eyes widened. “But this is my mom. I thought you meant not to tell your dad.”

Peyton huffed while Kelsey got her bearings. So this was the problem. Boys. Her mind spun. “Maybe the boy just wants to be a friend, Peyton. They’re not always flirting.”

She looked down at her lap. “He told me I was pretty.”

Pretty. Kelsey swallowed. “That’s a nice compliment. Do you think he’s handsome?”

“Sort of.”

“See. He did more than think it. He told you.” She bit her lip. Yes, she was a mother, but she was new at this. Inadequate. “Your dad would know more about how boys think.” She pictured Ross wanting to chase the boys away with a shovel. The image made her grin.

“I heard girls talking in class about things, but I don’t think Dad knows about them or else he doesn’t want to tell me.”

A knot formed in her stomach. “It’s hard for a father to talk with his daughter about personal things and the changes she goes through.”

“But who’ll tell me so I know it’s right?” Peyton’s eyes searched hers.

Kelsey grasped her wavering common sense. She pulled up a stool and grabbed a cookie. Anything to delay her response. Her mind worked overtime until she’d organized her thoughts. “Would you like me to explain some things to you, Peyton?”

She nodded, a grateful look spread across her face.

“Mom, what about me?”

“You’re old enough, too, Lucy.” She drew in a breath. “I’ll explain a few things and then if you have questions I’ll try to answer them.”

She sent up a quick prayer and began. The girls didn’t flinch nor did their eyes waver. They seemed to drink in what she explained, and when her mind had run dry, she paused. “Do you understand?”

They both nodded, but she read Peyton’s expression and knew a question was coming. “And that’s going to happen to me someday.”

“Soon, Peyton. You’re growing up fast so don’t be afraid when it happens. It’s natural.”

Lucy leaned forward. “And then she can have babies, right?”

Babies. Kelley’s lungs drained. “Yes, God had all this happen so when a woman gets married and has a husband to be the father of the baby, her body will have everything she needs.”

A faint frown settled on Lucy’s brow. “I can have babies, too, in another year maybe.”

“Lucy, the Bible tells us to be chaste until we have a husband who can be the father.”

“What’s chaste?”

Her shoulders slumped. Chaste. Another way to phrase it would have been better. She stared at Lucy, her mind tumbling. Get yourself out of this one, Kelsey.