“Is something wrong?” she asked him finally as they left the Whitney. He hadn’t told her yet that he was leaving for Caldwell that Sunday, or sooner if Eric sent his replacement. Blaise wanted to break the news to Salima herself. She knew how much Salima would miss him. Her life, under Simon’s care, had been totally transformed. She had grown up in a mere three months. He had worked magic. And with Blaise as well. He made everything better, for each of them, and had brought both women out of their shell. When Blaise had talked to Simon about it, she told him he wasn’t an enabler but an enhancer. It was an apt description of him.
“Are you sick?” Salima put a hand on his forehead to check for fever, and he grinned. He had just hailed a taxi for them, but usually they took the bus or subway. They were going to Zabar’s to pick up food he needed for dinner. If nothing else, he thought he could feed them decently until he left. Blaise was no longer willing to let him do much more than that, except take care of Salima. Blaise had skipped dinner and gone straight to her room the night before, claiming she had a headache. But Simon knew better. Her heart was aching, not her head, and he felt guilty for it. He had been honest with her about how confused he was, after Megan finally came through after all this time, claiming she had done it for him. She made a major point of telling him she had left her husband for him, and he couldn’t abandon her now. He had to at least give her a chance. He felt he had no other choice. He wanted to be fair to both women, and himself, but inevitably, one of them was going to get hurt, or maybe they all would.
“I’m fine. I was just thinking about Caldwell,” he said, which was partially true, but he’d really been thinking about Megan. “I’m going to have to go back soon,” he tried to warn her, without letting the cat out of the bag, that he’d be leaving on Sunday. He thought Blaise was wrong not to tell her sooner. She wanted to find his replacement first, and then she would drop the bomb.
“I want you to stay here with us. Who cares about your contract?” Salima said, pouting.
“The board of trustees,” he said with a rueful grin as they got out at Zabar’s, the West Side delicatessen and delicacy shop he had discovered when he first got to New York. He went there often to buy the things they liked, and Salima liked going with him. She loved the hearty food smells of the shop. “Even if I decide not to renew my contract, I have to finish out the school year.” He already had applications to the two best schools for the blind in New York sitting on his desk, and planned to complete both before he left. He’d already sent one back to the Perkins School in Massachusetts. “You’ve got to finish what you start in life,” he said cryptically to Salima, as he selected two of Blaise’s favorite cheeses and asked for a thick slab of foie gras. But he didn’t think that foie gras was going to soothe Blaise’s aching heart, or his own. He hated to leave her, but he knew that if he turned his back on Megan now, he would always wonder what might have happened. He had waited for her to leave her husband for so long. Blaise was a much more exciting woman and a better person, but Megan was the kind of girl he’d always thought he’d wanted. And now she said she wanted a baby with him. Just one, since she already had three, but she was suggesting they get married as soon as her divorce came through, and get pregnant as soon as possible. He knew that the life he’d have with her would be completely different from the one he’d shared with Blaise. He loved his life with Blaise, but was still unsure what he could contribute to it, and felt inadequate and overwhelmed at times.
He had never expected someone like Blaise to come along. She was a star and such a huge success. What could he give her? That had haunted him since the beginning. She claimed that all she wanted from him was love, but he wanted to give her more, and he couldn’t. Materially, he had nothing to offer, no matter how fancy his mother’s family was. Some of that would be his one day, but for now he had nothing. He was an underpaid teacher, and their relationship was still so new. It was hard to commit his future to a woman he had known and loved for three months. With Megan, it had been three years, albeit disappointing ones. But now that she’d left her husband, it would be different. Or at least he hoped so, and they wouldn’t have to meet in cheap motels. But when he thought of Blaise and how much he loved her, he was totally confused. Each woman offered him a different life and world. His head was spinning.