I wake up with a pounding headache. I roll over to look at the clock, and see a bottle of water and two Advil sitting on the nightstand. At closer glance, I notice there is a note under the Advil.
I can’t control the smile that breaks across my face. Aiden, for as much as he likes to pretend to be a hard ass, is really sweet. My mind wanders to what it would be like to be his. To have him be the one who is always there to pick me up or make sure I have a good hangover regimen. A soft knock at the door brings me back to the task at hand, Advil.
I hear the door open. I look up to find that Allison looks just like I feel. She slowly drags her feet until she reaches the bed. She climbs in next to me and burrows under the covers.
“My head hurts,” she mumbles.
“Ditto,” I say, trying to limit the conversation. My head is pounding, and the movement to drink the water and Advil did not help.
“The guys are making breakfast. Liam says we have to eat. It will help soak up the alcohol,” she whispers.
“I don’t think I can eat,” I tell her.
“I know me either. That’s what I told him, but he said it would make us feel better. I’m hiding out in here so maybe he won’t make me.”
I snort at that. Liam has never, and will never, make Allison do anything. He caters to her and will end up begging her to eat. He will so track her ass down. Hiding with me won’t stop him, that’s for sure.
“What’s so funny?” Allison asks.
Before I can answer, my brother is at my door. “Hey, you two. You ready to eat something?”
Allie and I groan in unison and I hear Liam laugh. “I promise you will feel better after you eat. I didn’t go crazy, just made pancakes and bacon. Come on, let’s go.”
“We don’t want to,” Allie whines.
“Baby, you have to. The food will help soak up all the alcohol,” Liam tries to reason.
“It hurts to move,” she mumbles.
“I can carry you, beautiful, but I really need you to eat,” he says this as he leans down and scoops her up in his arms and heads for the kitchen.
Thinking I’m off the hook, I lay back down and throw the covers over my head. More sleep. I just need a few more hours and I will be good to go. I hear a low chuckle, and immediately I know it’s Aiden. It’s like my body can sense when he is near me.
He pulls the cover off my body. “Let’s go, angel. We need to get some food in you,” he tells me.
“No. Don’t wanna move. Hurts to move,” I mumble, while reaching for the blankets that he just stole.
“Sorry, no can do. You need to eat, and since Allison was unable to walk, I am here as your personal travel arrangements,” he says, pulling the covers out of my hands. My brain is still slow to register in my post alcohol state. Which is why when he leans down and scoops me up in his arms, I’m unable to protest. Well, that and it feels nice. Almost like I was here just recently.
“This feels like Deja vu,” I say out loud.
Aiden laughs softly before placing his lips next to my ear. “That’s because I had you in my arms last night, angel,” he whispers.
I stiffen at his words. Holy shit, did something happen between us? Shit. Shit. Shit.
As if he can read my mind, he says, “Relax, crazy girl. I carried you to bed last night and tucked you in. Nothing happened.” He drops a kiss on my temple just as we round the corner into the kitchen.
“Here is our other underage alcoholic,” he teases as he gently places me in a chair that Liam pulls out for me. Aiden proceeds to pour me a glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee. Once he sets them in front of me, he places two pancakes and a couple of pieces of bacon on my plate. Finally, he takes the seat beside me and begins making his own plate.
I chance a subtle look at Liam and Allie to see if they notice all the attention that Aiden is giving me. They don’t. I stare down at my plate, trying to wrap my head around all the emotions that are bouncing around. I want Aiden, and he is giving me all these mixed signals. GAH! I just need to ignore what my heart is trying to say, and focus on what I know is right. Aiden is just being nice, a good friend. That’s all.
Aiden leans in close to me. “Did you take your Advil, angel?” he whispers.
Nodding my head, that is still pounding. “Yes, thank you,” I reply quietly.
Aiden nods and goes right back to eating. I pick up my fork and begin to eat. Chewing hurts my head. Hell, who am I kidding? Breathing hurts my head. How anyone can do this, drink themselves silly on a regular basis, is beyond me. It’ll be a while before I indulge again. I hate feeling like ass.
The guys send us off to lounge while they clean the kitchen. I can definitely get used to this treatment. It’s usually Allie and I cooking for them. They always help clean up, but it’s a rare occasion that they do both. Ah, the joys in life.
Allison decides she wants to take a nap, so she and Liam go to their room. I am too comfortable to move. I am curled up on the couch. It’s a rainy day, so there is not much else to do. Once I’m awake, it’s hard for me to go back to sleep no matter how tired I am. I’m weird like that.
Aiden comes into the living room and I automatically lift my legs, inviting him to sit with me on the couch. I keep reminding myself that we are friends and we have done this exact thing a thousand times. He takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch and I rest my legs on his lap.
“We watching a movie?” he asks me.
“Yeah, but you can pick,” I tell him, tossing him the remote. Aiden grins and starts flipping through the channels. My head is turned towards the television, but my eyes are trained on Aiden. He is gorgeous. His brown hair is messy. I can tell he just ran his fingers through it after his shower this morning. I love his thick locks. My fingers itch to touch him. To run my fingers through his hair.
Aiden settles on the Lifetime Movie Network. I smile. He knows me so well.
“For me?” I ask and bat my eyelashes.
Aiden just smiles and winks. He picks up my left foot and begins to massage it. This is new; he’s never done this before. Friends can give friends a foot massage, right?
I lie there with his hands on my feet, working their magic. I’m trying to concentrate on the movie, but I can’t. I close my eyes to try to calm my racing heart. I focus on taking in deep even breaths. I feel my body relax and I start to drift off to sleep.
I slowly wake up and open my eyes. I see that the television is muted and the house is quiet. I lift my head and I see that Aiden is still at his end of the couch. He’s awake and he’s watching me.
“Hey. Sorry I fell asleep on you,” I say my voice raspy. I could really use something to drink.
As if he can read my mind, Aiden leans over, plucks a bottle of water from the coffee table, and hands it to me.
“Thanks,” I say, taking it from him and chugging half of it. Much better.
“How was the movie?” I ask, my voice now back to normal.
Aiden shrugs his shoulders. “I’m not sure, I didn’t finish it,” he says.
“I glance at the television and see that it is, indeed, still on.” I look back at Aiden and raise my eyebrows in question.
“You looked so peaceful, I didn’t want it to wake you up.” He shrugs. “I know you didn’t get a lot of sleep last night and needed to rest.”
“So…uh…what did you do?” I ask. I’m not sure how to take his last statement. Do friends just do that? Do they go out of their way to make sure the other gets rested after a drunken night? He’s in the same spot as when I fell asleep. Did he…did he watch me?
Aiden’s face flushes slightly. “I watched you,” he says softly.
He watched me! I open my mouth to respond, and no words will come out. I’m stunned speechless. I open and close my mouth again, still nothing. I know I look like a damn fish right now, which is totally embarrassing, but… Holy Shit! Aiden watched me sleep for, what, like an hour?
“You could have moved. I probably wouldn’t have woken up,” I tell him.
“Yeah, that really wasn’t an option for me. Why would I want to move, when I can be close to my angel when she’s sleeping?” he asks.
F*ck me! He is totally being serious right now, and talk about f*cking swoooon! He has no idea what he’s doing to me. His words affect me like nothing else ever has. He affects me like nothing or no one else. How much longer can I hide my feelings for him? Better question, what the hell is going on with him? Friends don’t say those kind of things to friends. The lines are blurring more and more every day, and I don’t know which way is up. I feel like I’m drowning in the sea of Aiden Emerson. The only problem is, I can’t decide if I want to sink or swim.
I realize I have lost myself to my internal freak out and that Aiden is still watching me. I need to say something, but what the f*ck kind of response do I give to that? I take a deep breath and go with all that I can say, without telling him I am madly in love with him and have been for a while now. I dig deep and pull out my southern hospitality.
“Thank you,” I say barely above a whisper.
Aiden squeezes my leg in reply just as Liam and Allison walk into the room. Liam plops down in the recliner and pulls Allison down on top of him.
“The weather is shit today, man,” Liam says to Aiden. “We only have a few days left. I hope it clears up before we have to leave.”
“I don’t see that happening. I watched the weather earlier, and they are calling for rain the next three days,” he says solemnly.
My mouth is moving and words are spewing out before I can comprehend what I’m saying. “Maybe we should just pack up and head home. You three have to pack and sign the lease for your new condo, anyway,” I remind him.
Aiden’s grip on my leg tightens and I can see his jaw clench. Did he change his mind about living with Liam and Allie?
“Probably not a bad idea. We can’t enjoy the beach with it pouring down rain,” Allison says.
“Well it’s two o’clock now, do we pack up and head out today, or leave first thing in the morning?” Liam asks.
“We’re getting low on supplies, so maybe we should just go now,” Allie says to him.
“All right, beautiful, let’s get packed. What do you say we leave here around four? Will that give you guys enough time to get packed?”
“Sure,” I say, and Aiden just nods his head.
I lift my legs off his lap and jump up off the couch. I head to my room to pack and get a little distance. Distance from the man who holds my heart in his hands and has no idea.
What the f*ck! We’re leaving three days early. Three days! I’m not ready to let her go yet. Once we get back to Chapel Hill, we will be packing up and moving to Charlotte. And Hales, she’ll still be in Chapel Hill. Three hours away. I realize, in the grand scheme of things, three hours is nothing. However, Hales has school and once training camp starts, my life will be live, eat, and breathe football. I knew leaving her behind would be hard. What I didn’t count on was feeling like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.
I stomp up stairs to my room and begin throwing my things in my bags, slamming drawers as I go. I can’t help but feel like I’m being cheated. This was my time with her before we had to leave. Time to work through these feelings and come to a decision. The only decision that was made is that I’m in love with her. I’m packing my f*cking bags to go home and move three hours away from the only girl I have ever loved. I don’t think anyone will ever compare to Hailey.
Apparently, through all the banging drawers, I didn’t hear Allie come into my room. She is sitting on the chair in the corner, just watching me.
“What?” I snap at her. My anger has nothing to do with her, but she’s here.
“You want to talk about it?” she asks, not a bit fazed by my foul mood.
“Nothing to talk about,” I snap yet again.
Allison smiles. “Ace, you’re my family. I know when something’s wrong.”
“It’s nothing, all right,” I say in a much more clam voice, at least, I try to.
“How about I give it a shot?” she asks.
She stands up, walks to the bed, and sits down. She pats the spot next to her. I sigh and sit down beside her. I bend over and rest my elbows on my knees while running my fingers through my hair. I’m on the verge of losing my shit. I mean literally breaking down. I’m fighting like hell to not let my feelings show.
“This is how I see it,” Allison begins. “You’re in love with Hailey. You’re pissed off because we’re leaving early, which means you’re losing time with her.” She places her hand on my back and begins to rub soothing circles. I don’t move my position. I am barely holding my shit together.
“You’re pissed off because you thought you could work her out of your system. Spend a little time with her, realize the feelings were minor at best, and you could move to Charlotte without another thought except for how your friend is doing. You’re scared because if your relationship with Hailey becomes more, what happens if it falls apart? You lose her. She will no longer be a part of your life. Or can she? Will you both be able to move past whatever issues caused the break up and still be friends?”
F*ck me! Ash just hit the nail on the head. “How do you…?”
“I told you, we’re family. I know you better than anyone, and I can read you. I also went through the same situation of wanting someone I thought I could never have. I wanted Liam from the moment I met him, but I was too afraid that I’d be just another notch on the bed post for him. Look how things turned out for us,” she says with a smile.
I lift my head and face Allison. “It’s too risky,” I croak out, my voice thick with emotion. “I can’t imagine my life without her in it. If I pursue her and things don’t work out, I lose her all together. I can’t handle that. I know I can’t. I…” I swallow and take a deep breath. “I just won’t risk it, okay?”
“I get it. I do. Just think about this. Think about you and Hales being together and having what Liam and I have? Think about how it would be if things did work out.” She stands and places a kiss on my cheek; then turns and leaves the room.
I lie back on the bed and stare at the ceiling. Allison’s words are running through my mind. What would it be like for Hales and I to have what they have? To be able to hold her and kiss her anytime I wanted. To know that she is mine, and when dumb f*cks like Seth try to hit on her, it wouldn’t just be pretending to be the jealous boyfriend. Well, pretending to be the boyfriend. The jealously is alive and well. I could have ripped his f*cking head off the day I saw him put his arm around her. I want that, I do. I want everything with her. I want us to be more, but I am too afraid. Shit, being around Liam has turned me into a p-ssy.
Pulling myself off the bed, I resume packing, this time I’m quieter. Instead of the anger that was consuming me before, now it’s just sadness and pain. The painful ache in my chest is still there. I need to put on my big boy panties and f*cking deal with the decision that I’ve made. I’m the one choosing not to risk losing her to try for more. I’m the one who has to suck it up and deal.
A slight knock on my door catches my attention. I glance up, but no one enters. “Come in,” I yell.
Hailey slowly pushes the door open. “Hey, you all packed?” she asks.
“Almost, how about you?” I reply.
“Yeah, I just threw it all in my bags. I can sort it out later. I just wanted to come and talk to you for a few minutes. I know when we get home things are going to be hectic.”
She’s chewing on her bottom lip, so I know she’s nervous. “What’s up?” I ask, concerned.
She shrugs her shoulders. “I just needed a minute with you.”
Hailey! God, I want to wrap my arms around her and tell her we’re okay. That it’s all going to work out. I know I can’t do that. I’ve made my decision and I need to stand by it. I decide playful Aiden is the best approach.
I reach up and tap her nose with my index finger “Aw, are you gonna miss me?” I tease.
Her eyes find mine and what I see is sadness. I can’t look away from her. “More than you know,” she whispers.
Wrecked! I am completely f*cking wrecked by this girl. All thoughts of keeping my distance fly out the window. She’s hurting and I need to comfort her. I reach out and pull her against my chest. I feel her tremble as she softly cries into my shirt.
“Angel, I will only be three hours away. If you need me, I can get to you before you even realize I’m gone. I promise we will still see each other. Not every day, but we will. I will make it happen,” I say gently, rubbing my hand up and down her back, trying like hell to comfort her.
“You guys are moving on without me,” she whimpers. “You’ll have new exciting lives. You’ll forget about me.”
I lean back and gently place my fingers under her chin and lift her head so we are eye to eye. “Angel, I need you to listen to me and listen good, okay?” I ask her. She nods her head slightly.
“Baby, you are not forgettable. No matter how far away from you I am, you will always be here.” I place her hand over my heart. “And here.” I take her other hand and point to my head. She gently runs her fingers through my hair. “You will always be important to me. I won’t be able to see you every day, but I need you to understand that I would do anything for you. Do you understand?” I plead with her.
I rest my forehead against hers. “You are so special to me. I need you to always remember that. If you need me, no matter what it is, I’m yours,” I tell her. I mean that. She owns me like no one else ever will.
“Okay,” she whispers.
Liam yells out in the hallway as he passes, “Emerson, you ready to roll, man?”
“I’ll be out in a minute,” I yell back.
“I’ll let you get back to packing.” She pulls away and turns to leave, but stops when she reaches the door. “Thank you,” she says softly.
“Angel, please remember what I said,” I plead with her. I need to know that she understands that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for her.
Hailey nods her head and leaves the room.
I bend over and place my hands on my knees, breathing deep, dragging breath into my lungs. Shit! I want her so f*cking bad. It kills me to see her hurting like this. If Liam wouldn’t have interrupted us, I don’t know what I would have done. My control is slipping and my chest is filled with a deep ache that only Hailey can heal. This shit is so f*cking hard. Wanting to make her mine and not allowing myself to do so…Is. So. F*cking. Hard. How in the hell am I going to be able to do this?
I flee from Aiden’s room and rush into mine. As soon as I close the door, hot tears rush from my eyes. My heart is broken. Aiden is so good to me and so sweet. He has no idea that his words crush me. He’s amazing and his offer to always be there for me is amazing, but I want him to be mine. If he knew that, he would not have said any of that. He would be running for the hills. I can’t believe I actually told him that I needed a minute with him. What. The. Hell.
I’m sure he thinks I’m a f*cking nut job about now. I guess it’s better than the embarrassment of knowing that his best friend’s little sister is madly in love with him. Hell, if he knew that, he would head straight to Charlotte from here and never look back.
I go to the bathroom and wash my face, trying to wash away my tears. I finish packing and drag my bags to the living room. Allison comes rushing to me.
“Hales, what’s wrong?” she asks, concerned.
“I’m just going to miss you guys so much,” I say as the tears begin to fall yet again. At least Aiden won’t know that most of them are for him. For the love I have for him that he will never know about.
“Come here, you,” Liam says, walking over and pulling me into his arms.
“You, my baby sister, are not even going to notice that we’re gone. You can come up on weekends and we’ll come visit as well.” He hugs me tight.
“I can come down and stay with you while the guys are busy with training camp,” Allie offers. I hear Liam groan. The big lug hates being away from her.
“I’m okay,” I say, stepping away from Liam. “I just let my emotions get the best of me.” I offer them a sad smile.
“Let’s go, my bestie. You and I are riding in the back. We need some girl time,” Allison says, pulling me outside.
Liam and Aiden load our bags and lock up the beach house before piling in the Pathfinder, and we hit the road. The road to home, and for me, the road to loneliness.
The ride home is filled with Allison and I making plans for how we’re going to keep in touch. We make plans for me to come up and stay the week with them before school starts. The three of them continue to talk about how I won’t even notice their gone. Yeah right!
The next week is a whirlwind of activity. Liam, Allison, and Aiden drive to Charlotte and look at the condos their agent has found for them. Instead of staying alone, I drive to my parents to spend some time there. I was invited to go along, but decided that I needed to start this now. Next week they will be gone. Living three hours away. I need to start dealing with how I’m going to muddle through without them.
I really want to talk to my parents anyway. I need to tell them that I want to transfer schools. I was accepted to Durham Tech College in the Associates of Nursing Program. I want to be a Registered Nurse. The program is two years, but I have all of my pre-requisites out of the way. All I have to do is pass a nursing assistant course prior to classes starting in September. I can be finished with college in a year! I have the registration paperwork in my purse and the course starts next week. I have always loved helping people, and have been thinking about this for a while now. I was so excited when I got in, but I didn’t tell anyone. I’m not sure why I didn’t tell them. I guess I want to make sure mom and dad are on board before I announce anything. Besides, the three of them have their hands full with moving, and then the guys start training camp next week. I’ll tell them once things settle down.
I pull into my parents’ driveway and they are sitting on the front porch swing. Mom is reading her kindle and dad is reading the newspaper. I can feel the grin that takes over my face. My parents have an amazing marriage. I can only hope that I find that. The forever kind of love.
“Well, who do we owe for this nice surprise?” my dad says as I climb the steps to the front porch.
“Hey, you two,” I say, skipping over and kissing dad on the cheek and giving mom a hug.
“It’s nice to see you,” my mom tells me.
“Well, I missed you guys and I kind of have something to talk to you about,” I say shyly. Why? I have no clue. My parents have always been supportive of me. I guess I’m afraid they will be disappointed that I want to transfer from UNC.
“Pull up a chair, sweetheart, we’re all ears,” My dad says, laying his newspaper on the table next to him. My mom hands him her kindle and I have their full attention. I’m not surprised at this. Anytime Liam and I want to talk, they are always there to listen.
I sit down on the wooden lounge chair that my dad and Liam built one summer. Mom said they were “bonding” before Liam went off to college. I smile at the memory.
“Well, I kind of wanted to talk to you about school. I finally declared a major,” I say.
“Hailey, that’s terrific. So what did you choose?” mom asks.
“Well, you see, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I’m going to have to transfer schools.” I stop to gage their reaction. They are both still looking at me, smiling. I take that as a good sign and continue. “I was accepted to the RN program at Durham Tech. I want to be a nurse. I have all of my pre-requisites completed and now just need to focus on the nursing portion. I can be done in a year. I already moved out of the dorms and into the condo, so that won’t be an issue. And I called the school and I have until August to withdraw and get a full refund for my tuition.” I rush to get it all in. I’m nervous of their reaction and excited all at the same time. I really want to do this.
“Hailey, I’m so proud of you,” my dad tells me.
“What can we do to help?” My mom asks, and just like that, I expel the breath that I was holding. My parents truly are amazing.
I jump out of my chair and rush to the swing. I bend down and hug them both. Tears running down my face. “Thank you so much!” I say through my tears. “I really want this. I want to be a nurse and to have your support. I love you guys,” I say.
Dad chuckles. “We love you too, my sweet girl. Now tell us more about this new career of yours.”
We spend the next hour talking on the front porch about nursing and the assistant class that I start next week. Mom tells me to let her know if she can do anything, and to try not to get overwhelmed. She even tries to get me to move home so she can take care of things like my laundry, so all I have to focus on is school. How I won the parent lottery, I have no idea, but I am so thankful for them.
I eat dinner with my parents and then head back to the condo. It’s quiet. Too quiet, but this is something I’m going to have to get used to. I curl up on the couch with my kindle and the remote. I don’t want to watch television, but I need the noise to drown out the quiet. I miss them.
Just as I am about to pick my new book boyfriend for the evening, my cell phone rings. It’s Allison. “Hey, you,” I say in greeting.
“Hey, yourself. What are you up to?” she asks.
“Not much. Had dinner with mom and dad and just got home. I was getting ready to pick my man of the evening,” I tell her.
“Ooh, I’m so jealous. We have looked at condos all day, but we finally found one. It’s amazing, and you will have your own room when you come to stay with us,” she says happily.
I smile. “That’s awesome, I hope you took pictures.”
“Yes, and you’re still coming to spend a week before school starts right?” she inquires.
I mentally go over the nursing assistant class and the start date at Durham Tech. I will have one week between the two. “Yep, that’s the plan,” I reply. “So what are you all up to now?” I ask her.
“Well, we are stopping to get something to eat, and then we are headed home.”
“Home? I thought you were staying the night?” I ask.
“Well, we were, but it’s only six o’clock. We should be home around nine. We all decided we just wanted to come home. We have a lot of packing and things to do.”
“Okay, well I guess I’ll see you guys in a little while. Drive safe,” I tell her.
“We will. Liam drove down, so Aiden is driving back. I missed having you with us,” she says quietly.
“Me too, but this is the new us. We are going to have to learn to adjust,” I say.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. See you soon,” she says as she ends the call.
I’m shocked that their coming home, but then again, they do have to pack up their lives and move. These next few days are going to take a toll on me emotionally.
I wake to the sound of keys in the door. I open my eyes and see Liam, Aiden, and Allison dragging in their overnight bags. I sit up and rub my eyes. My kindle falls to the floor. “Shit!” I say.
“Well, that’s a welcome greeting.” Liam laughs.
“Shut it, buster. I just dropped my kindle and that, my dear brother, is a tragedy,” I retort.
“Shit, it didn’t break, did it?” Allison asks concerned. I love my best friend!
“Nope, all is well,” I say. “How was the drive home?”
“Long,” Allison says. “But worth it. I want to show you the condo.” She pulls out her phone and proceeds to show me each room.
“Wow, it looks great. You took a ton of pictures.” I laugh at her.
“I wanted you to see everything, that way you can be a part of this with us.”
I reach my arm around her and hug her tight. “Thank you,” I say, my voice thick with emotion.
“Hey, what’s this?” Aiden asks. He’s holding my admission letter from Durham Tech.
Here we go. “That’s my acceptance letter to the RN program at Durham Tech,” I say, like that letter doesn’t change the course of my life.
“What? You’re changing schools?” Liam asks.
“Yeah, I am. I talked to mom and dad about it tonight.” I proceed to tell them about the program, how I have everything I need, and will just have to focus on nursing classes. I tell them about the nursing assistant class and how it will run up until the week that I come to stay with them in Charlotte.
“You’re still coming though, right?” Aiden asks me.
“Of course. I get a week off before the heavy stuff starts, and I can’t think of a better way to spend it than hanging with my family,” I tell him.
I see his jaw clinch at me including him in the “family” category. I need to think of him as a brother; otherwise, all I think about is ripping his damn clothes off.