I’m lying here in the living room of our old condo, Hailey’s condo, on the futon that was hers for when she would stay over. The blankets and the pillows smell like her. I’m surrounded by her. Hailey is in my room, in my bed. Well, my old room and my old bed, but it’s f*cking with me knowing that she’s there, surrounded by me. As if that is not enough to keep me awake, every time I close my eyes, I see that Miles character with his arm around her.
It took more will than I knew I could summon to leave her alone with him in the foyer earlier tonight. I was so excited to see her, to spend time with her, but after seeing them together, I kept my distance. The girls spent the majority of the night talking wedding details while Liam and I watched ESPN. That’s really all we had the energy for anyway. Training camp is hard work, and then the drive up here. I’m tired as hell, but I can’t sleep because all I see is him, with his hands on her.
Eventually, exhaustion takes over and I fall into a restless sleep.
I woke up this morning to find Hailey and Allison already out and about. Liam is sitting on the couch watching television eating pop tarts.
“Thought you were going to sleep all damn day,” he says, shoving in the last bite of his breakfast.
“What time is it?”
“Ten. The girls went to get a massage and manicures. You and I are gonna head over to mom and dad’s to help set up for the party. Allie and Hales will meet us there later,” he tells me.
“All right, man, let me grab a shower.”
“Pack your clothes for the party, who knows what mom will have us doing.” He tries to act annoyed, but I can hear the softness in his voice.
I rush through a shower and pack up my clothes for tonight’s festivities. It’s not formal, but clean clothes after working all day will be nice. Just as I’m zipping up my bag, Liam yells “heads up” and chucks a pack of pop tarts at me. “I made breakfast,” he says with a smile.
As soon as we pull into the driveway at his parents’ house, his mom is waiting for us on the porch with a clipboard in her hand.
“Shit, look at her. She’s going to be a slave driver today,” Liam groans.
“Well, we better get started then,” I say, climbing out of my Tahoe.
I greet Mrs. MacCoy with a hug, as does Liam. She immediately starts going over what still needs to be done. “I’m so glad you guys are here. The crew is almost finished setting up the tent. Your father is on his way back with tables and chairs; those will need to be set up.” She looks at her list. “We still need to hang the lights in the tent and bring fire wood to the pit just outside the tent. We have two large coolers that need to be stocked with ice and beverages, but not until later, I don’t want the ice to melt before people even get here. The caterer will be here at five to set up and begin grilling. Your father and I wanted to enjoy the party instead of spending out time cooking,” she says as we stand there and try to take in everything she’s telling us.
“Mom, take a breath,” Liam laughs. “We got this, okay? This is supposed to be just a small gathering to celebrate Allie and me. Everything is going to be great.” He tries to calm her.
“Oh, and we need to set up a table for the DJ. Don’t forget to remind your father when you help him set up,” she says, completely ignoring Liam’s little speech to calm down.
Liam sweeps in and lifts her up in the air, giving her a huge hug. “Mom, I love you. This is going to be amazing. Relax,” he tells her.
“Put me down. I have work to do,” she scolds him, laughing.
Mr. MacCoy pulls in and we immediately get to work setting up the tables and chairs before we tackle the rest of her list. I keep checking my watch, wondering when the girls are going to get here. Liam has talked to Allie a couple of times. They are at the condo getting ready and will be here by five thirty. I’m willing time to move faster.
We finally finish our “to-do list,” with just enough time to shower and change. As I enter the kitchen, I hear voices and I know the girls have arrived. I clear the bottom step and look up. What I see stops me in my tracks. Hailey. She’s dressed in a white sundress, her hair is loose and flowing down her back, and she’s wearing pink flip flops. Her freshly painted pink toes draw my attention. Who am I kidding? Everything about her draws my attention.
I realize I’m standing there, staring at her like an idiot. I will my feet to carry me into the room and take a seat at the table beside Allison. She leans into my shoulder as a hello, but never breaks her conversation with Mrs. MacCoy. I pull my phone out of my pocket and scroll through my e-mails. There is nothing there that can’t wait, but I need a distraction before I embarrass myself.
My distraction works, I’m only brought out of my trance when Liam taps me on the shoulder. I look up and realize that he and I are the only ones left in the kitchen. “Where did they go?” I ask.
He laughs. “Dude, you were in the zone. People are starting to get here, so they went outside. Come on, this new guy, Miles, and two others are here, and I need to go check them out,” he says, walking out the back door.
F*ck! I hope he keeps his hands to himself. I can’t take watching them together all night. Who am I kidding? The five minutes last night just about sent me over the damn ledge.
I pull myself out of the chair and follow Liam. I know this night is going to be torture. I know Miles won’t be able to keep his hands off her. Hell, if she was mine, I wouldn’t either. Hales denies that there is anything more than friendship going on there, but she has to know that any red-blooded guy would want her, all of her. F*ck! This is going to be hard to watch.
I stop at the bottom of the deck where Hailey is introducing everyone. There is another guy, Kaden, and the girl, Macie, who is with Miles. They all look to be just friends, until Miles spots me. He smirks and moves closer to Hales, gently moving her hair off her shoulder. She looks over and smiles at him, and I can feel my chest crack with pain. I’m too late. I’m glad the MacCoy’s stocked up on alcoholic beverages, I have a feeling that’s the only thing that is going to get me through tonight.
Hailey introduces me and I nod my head. I know it’s a dick move, but that’s all I can manage. Instead of sticking around, watching her being pawed by him, I walk away. I find Mrs. MacCoy and see if there is anything she needs me to do. Maybe if I stay busy, I can hold off on my alcohol consumption and be distracted enough to not have to see them together.
“Aiden, where is everyone?” Mrs. MacCoy asks.
“Hailey is introducing them to her new friends. I just wanted to see if there was anything you needed done.”
“No, I think we’re all set. You can sit and keep me company for a few minutes if you like,” she says, pulling out the chair beside her.
I smile at her and take a seat. “You know, they really are just friends,” she says softly.
Holy shit! Am I that easy to read? “Who?” I play dumb. I know she can tell that I’m pretending not to know who she’s talking about. This is not the distraction I was hoping for.
“It will all work out. Just have faith,” she tells me.
Before I can respond, I see a shadow and look up to find all of them. Hales and her new friends along with Liam and Allie. Great, just f*cking great.
“Oh good, you’re all here. I want to start the night off with a dance, and since Hales and Aiden are the entire wedding party, I want the two of you out there too,” Mrs. MacCoy says.
I jump up out of my seat and round the table to stand beside Hailey. Miles is standing close to her, too close. At least he’s not touching her. I slip my fingers through hers and she turns to look at me, shock on her face. “Dance with me, angel,” I say as I gently tug on her hand, pulling her out onto the makeshift dance floor. Allison and Liam are already there, lost in each other. I pull Hailey as close to me as I can get her. I couldn’t care less who sees, this might be my only chance to hold her tonight and I’m taking full advantage.
Hailey immediately rests her head against my chest as we gently sway to the music. My hands are resting on her hips and I pull her tighter. I don’t want to be able to tell where she ends and I begin. I need her snug against me. My heart is beating a thunderous rhythm. I know she has to be able to feel it with the way she’s laying on me. As if she can read my mind, she lifts her head and places her hand on my chest, right over my heart. She looks up at me with those beautiful blue eyes.
“Aiden,” she whispers.
I lean my forehead against hers. “That’s all for you, angel,” I say softly as I hold her stare. I’m willing her with my eyes to understand what she means to me. How much I care about her. She has to be able to feel it, this connection.
Hailey is the first to look away as she rests her head back over my heart. She places both arms around my back and squeezes me tight. I feel her release a deep breath and relax against me. She’s just as affected as I am. I don’t know how much longer I can do this, resist her.
The song ends and I feel a tap on my shoulder. It’s Miles. “Care if I cut in?” he asks, already reaching for Hailey. She quickly steps away from me and joins Miles in the next dance, a slow dance.
I stalk back to the tables, stopping to grab me a couple beers. Yes, I said a couple. I’ve lost her. I may affect her, but she’s found someone else. I waited too long. Hence the multiple beers. I’m definitely going to need liquid courage to get through this night.
Miles cuts in at the end of my dance with Aiden. I sigh with relief. I was about two seconds away from making a fool of myself in front of my entire family. Anymore time wrapped up in his arms with his sweet words, and I was going to throw caution to the wind and make a move. Every time we are together, the electricity between us flows to the point that I can’t think clearly. Aiden is always so tender and sweet. I want, with everything in me, to believe that he wants to be with me. Maybe we’ve both fought it for so long, that we don’t know how to change it.
“I love it when a good plan comes together,” Miles says in my ear. I’m sure to an outsider it looks like he’s whispering tender words into my ear, not the true reality of him gloating that he was right about Aiden. “You should see him. He went straight for the cooler and grabbed a few beers. He does not like you in my arms,” he says as he drops a kiss on my temple.
Holy shit! Miles is stepping up his game big time. “I may need a few of those to get through this night as well. One minute he is there, sweet and caring, making me think that he does want us, want me. The next, he’s off throwing back a few beers trying to forget it ever happened.”
“He’s fighting it. Trust me. He’s convinced that you and I are an item and that pisses him off. Keep denying it because that’s the truth. However, in Aiden’s eyes, I’m holding his girl. To him, that is the only validation needed to confirm we’re together.” The song ends and Miles bends down to whisper in my ear again. I’m sure the moment looks intimate. “Trust me,” he whispers, grabbing my hand and leading me off the dance floor. We stop at the cooler and Miles hands me a beer. Yep, I am so going to need liquid courage tonight.
My dad walks up behind us. “You staying here tonight, baby girl?” he asks.
Luckily, my parents are cool with my drinking even though I am still a year from legal drinking age, as long as I stay here tonight. This is a special occasion after all.
“Yes, dad. Allie and I brought our bags in earlier,” I say, reaching up to give him a hug.
“Just making sure you’re safe,” he says, squeezing me back and walking away.
Miles leads me back to the table with his hand on the small of my back. He even pulls out my chair for me. I avoid looking at Aiden. Miles sits next to me and scoots close. He gently lays his arm on the back of my chair. I focus on my beer. Macie engages me in conversation about how great of a couple Liam and Allison are. I agree with her. I hear Aiden ask Liam if he needs another beer. I chance a look and see him walking away from the table.
Mom comes around and tells us it’s time to eat. We join the line at the food table and fill our plates with way more food than we can eat, well, at least the girls have. Liam, Miles, and Kaden are doing just fine. In fact, they each finished off what Allie, Macie, and I couldn’t. It’s been a while since I have seen Aiden. I mention it to Liam and all he says is, “He’s around here somewhere.”
The sky has completely fallen dark and the tent is lit up with stands of white lights that give off an enchanted romantic glow. I watch Liam and Allison on the dance floor, completely caught up in each other, not caring at all what’s going on around them. Miles scoots back his chair and offers me his hand.
“Let’s give them a little competition. They’re playing our song,” he says as the song turns fast. I laugh because it’s the first song that he and I ever danced to on the night I met him, Aerosmith’s “Walk This Way.”
I’ve had several beers and I’m feeling relaxed. Luckily for me, my grandparents have left and it’s just the younger crowd. My parents are around, but I don’t see them. Miles and I are about to get our groove on. As soon as we reach the dance floor, Miles spins me so my back is to his front and wraps his arm around my waist pulling me tight. I begin to move my hips to the beat. I place my hands above my head and behind his neck; this prompts him to bury his face in my neck. I hear him whisper, “Aiden is in the back corner, watching our every move.” Me in my inebriated state decide that I want to give Aiden a show. Show him what he’s missing. I push against Miles and I hear him groan in response. I can’t help the smile that breaks across my face. At least someone is affected by my moves. Miles spins me to face him and our hips begin to grind back and forth. His arm is tight around my waist and my hands are resting on his shoulders. I tilt my head back and let the music dictate my movement. This also brings my chest front and center for Miles’ viewing pleasure.
I’m lost in the music, so I don’t realize that Aiden is standing beside us until I hear his voice. “I can take it from here,” he growls at Miles. With that, he grabs my hand and tugs me into his chest. Miles holds his hands up in the air and steps backwards as if to say he doesn’t want any trouble. Aiden crushes me to his chest and places his knee between my legs. I begin to sway my hips to the beat, as does Aiden. It didn’t feel like this with Miles, just Aiden. Only Aiden. I can feel his hardness against my leg and I bite my lip to surpass the moan that I feel on the tip of my tongue. Aiden tugs me tighter, if that’s even possible, and rocks his hips against mine. My hands are around his neck, and I run my fingers through his shaggy brown hair. His face is buried in my neck as he traces his tongue from my collarbone to my ear lobe. I shudder. I can’t help but wonder if it looks as erotic as it feels.
The music changes and turns slow as Dierks Bentley’s “Breathe You In” begins to play. Aiden pulls me close and I bury my face into his neck, doing just what the song says…breathing him in. I can smell his cologne and the alcohol on his breath. Apparently, he needed liquid courage to get through this night as well. We are barely moving to the music. We are simply wrapped in each other’s arms enjoying the moment. I’m trying to memorize every second, every single detail. I reach up and kiss him softly on the neck, the taste of his skin exploding on my tongue. I hear Aiden growl and that just adds fuel to that fire that has ignited between us. I tug on his hair bringing his lips to mine. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that I will probably regret this in the morning, but right now in this moment, I can’t find it in me to care. Aiden sucks in a breath, shocked; I’m sure that I’m molesting him. Instead of pulling back, I take the opportunity to slip my tongue past his lips. He presses me tight against him; his hardness now rests against my belly as he takes control of the kiss. I break away needing to catch my breath and rest my head back against his chest. I hear him take in a breath as his hands find my hips. The song is coming to an end and I don’t want to let him go. I want Aiden more than I have ever wanted anything.
I feel Aiden pull away. He lifts my chin with his forefinger and kisses me on the forehead. He leans down to whisper in my ear, “Take a walk with me, angel?”
My heart is racing and I’m stunned speechless. Aiden wants to be alone with me. I thought for sure as soon as the song ended, he would run away from me as fast he could. I can’t believe I just attacked him on the dance floor. Embarrassment takes over and I am unable to form words. I nod my head yes. That’s all the answer he needs as he laces his fingers through mine and gently leads me out from underneath the tent and into the darkness. He leads us to the pond. Aiden sits down in the grass, and I follow him. He reaches over, grabs my hand and laces our fingers together again.
“I can’t seem to stop touching you,” he tells me, his voice thick with emotion.
“I don’t want you to,” I reply. I’m more open than usual due to the amount of alcohol in my system. I never would have admitted that had I been sober. Lucky for me, I’m also too wasted to care. I want him. I’ve always wanted him. “The night is beautiful. Look at the stars.”
“I can’t think of a better background,” he tells me. “Can you do something for me, angel?”
“Anything,” I say. It’s true; I would do anything for him.
“Will you let me hold you? I just want you back in my arms so damn bad.”
“Yes.” The word is barely across my lips before Aiden is scooting back and placing his legs on either side of mine. He places his hands around my waist and pulls me back against his chest. He moves my hair to the opposite shoulder and places a feather soft kiss to my neck. I relax into him at the feel of his lips against my skin.
“F*ck, Hales, I miss you so f*cking much it hurts.”
I don’t say anything, because I can’t. I try to swallow the emotion in my throat. I feel hot tears prick the back of my eyes. I turn my head in effort to keep Aiden from seeing me cry. I’m losing the battle. His words undo me. I’ve wanted him for so long, and I love him with everything in me. Now, here we are, and my drunk ass is crying. I turn my head up and try to focus on the night sky. The stars are so bright tonight.
Aiden gently grips my chin to turn me back to him. He lifts me up and sets me sideways in his lap. “Hailey, baby, what’s wrong? Why are you upset?” he asks, tugging me closer to him.
“I just…I just really miss you too,” I say. What I want to tell him is that I’m in love with him. He’s the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last before I close my eyes. I want to tell him that I’ve been afraid that he would always see me as only Liam’s little sister, and treat me as such. Although, right now, in this moment, he doesn’t seem to be treating me like a little sister.
Aiden leans in to kiss my cheek and I turn my head, our lips collide. Instead of pulling back, he freezes, his lips still pressed against mine. I pull away and turn to straddle his hips. He cups my face with his big hands. “Hales?” he whispers.
I lean down and press my lips to his. I trace my tongue across his lips, teasing him, begging him for entrance. Aiden growls and deepens the kiss, opening his mouth and allowing our tongues to dual in their pursuit of each other’s taste. I’m lost in him, his taste, and the feel of him between my legs. All of it. I’m utterly and completely lost in Aiden.
He slows the kiss and rests his forehead against mine. “Baby, are you sure. You’ve had a lot to drink tonight and so have I. I don’t want you to regret this.” I can hear the concern in his voice.
“Will you regret this?” I ask him.
“No. Never could I ever regret a minute spent with you, let alone you in my arms. No, I won’t regret this. But I’m worried that you will,” he tells me.
Instead of saying anything else, I rock my hips against his as I lean down and capture his lips with mine once again. He has both hands on my hips, assisting me with rocking back and forth across his erection. I feel him, all of him. All that separates us is my panties and his cargo shorts. I’ve never done this. I’ve never been with anyone. I’ve kissed guys and there has been touching, but not like this. I’ve never straddled a guy and rocked my hips to a rhythm that is driving me insane. I feel pressure building and I realize this too is new. I’ve never had an orgasm. Aiden is about to give me my first.
I break away from the kiss and throw my head back, continuing to rock back and forth against Aiden. He runs his hands up under my dress and gently unsnaps my bra. I feel his hand slide under the cup and he gently caresses my nipples. “Aiden,” I whisper.
“You are so f*cking beautiful, Hailey.” He removes his hand and tugs the top of my sundress down, revealing my breast. He latches on to my nipple as he gently caresses the other. The feel of his mouth on me is what sets me over the edge. Sensing that I’m close, Aiden lifts his head and crushes his lips to mine, swallowing my screams of pleasure. Holy shit!
He slows the kiss and eventually trails kisses down my neck as he finds his way back to my breast. He gently kisses one, and then the other, before he runs his hands back up under my dress. Tucking me back into my bra, he then reaches around and snaps it back into place. Once he’s finished righting my clothing, he wraps his arms around my waist and buries his face in my chest. His grip is tight, but I embrace it. I want nothing more than to be exactly where I am, where we are.
I gently run my fingers through his hair, just allowing him to hold me. Enjoying my post orgasmic bliss. “Thank you. That was a first for me,” I tell him softly.
Aiden pulls back. “What do you mean a first for you?”
I can feel the heat rush my face. Thankfully, it’s too dark for Aiden to be able to tell. I hope. “That was my first, well, you know.”
“Baby, you’ve never had an orgasm?”
“Not until you. Never had anyone kissed my breasts either,” I say. Shit, the alcohol is causing me to be a damn motor mouth.
“You’ve never…I was your first?”
“Yes,” I say, feeling embarrassed. Before Aiden can dissect what we’ve just done and what I’ve told him, his cell phone shrieks into the quiet night.
He digs in his pocket and pulls out his phone. “It’s your mom,” he tells me before sliding the screen to answer her call.
“Hello?” he says into the line. He’s quiet, and then I see his jaw clench. “Yeah, we went for a walk. We’ll head back now,” he says, hitting end on his cell phone.
“Your friends are leaving and want to say goodbye to you,” he tells me.
“Okay.” I start to remove myself from his lap, but he stops me.
Aiden gently rubs his thumb over my bottom lip. “Lips of an angel,” he breathes, and then kisses me one last time, soft and sweet. “Let’s go say goodbye to your friends,” he says, offering me his hand to brace myself to stand up. I tug him up and he envelopes me in a hug.
With that, we walk back towards the tent hand in hand. Smiles broad across both of our faces. When we are almost back to the tent. Aiden stops, which halts me as well. He gently rubs his thumb across my knuckles of the hand he’s holding. “I’m going to let go of your hand, not because I’m ashamed of you or what we did, but I don’t know where your head is with all of this. I need you to know that it meant something to me. You mean something to me,” he tells me.
“There you two are.” Aiden immediately drops my hand at the sound of my mom’s voice. “Hales, your friends are ready to go and want to say goodbye.”
“Right behind you,” I say as I follow her back into the tent. I assume Aiden is behind me. When I reach the tent, Miles, Macie, and Kaden are waiting on me. Miles smiles broadly as he looks over my shoulder. I try to subtly shake my head to let him know that he can stop the charade, but he doesn’t seem to get it. He rushes to me and engulfs me in a hug. Before I can stop him, he’s pulling back and dropping a kiss to my lips.
“F*ck this!” I hear Aiden say behind us.
I push Miles off me and turn to watch Aiden storm out of the tent. “Shit!” I turn back to Miles. “What the hell are you thinking? I told you I didn’t want to lie to him. Why did you have to kiss me? Now, he really does think that you and I are together. He wants me. You were right, but now…now, I doubt he’ll ever speak to me again,” I yell at him.
Miles reaches out for me, but I slap his hand away. “Don’t touch me!” I yell at him. This apparently gets my brother’s attention; he comes rushing to my side.
Liam wraps his arms around me. “Shh, what’s happened, Hales? Did this guy hurt you?” he asks me, anger lacing his voice.
I pull away from him. “Liam, you have to go find Aiden. He left. He’s upset. Please, you have to find him. He’s been drinking,” I plead.
Allison hugs me and tells Liam to go. “I’ll stay with her, go find Aiden.” With one last look, Liam turns to go find his best friend.
“Hailey…” Miles tries to talk to me, but I stop him.
“Don’t. Just go, please. I need to talk to Aiden when he gets back, and it will only make it worse if you’re still here,” I say through sobs. “Please, Macie. I’ll call you guys tomorrow,” I beg her.
“Okay, since I know Allison is with you, we’ll go. Promise you will call me tomorrow.” She hugs me tight. “I’m sorry he did that. Miles really was just trying to help you.”
I nod my head. Macie, Miles, and Kaden leave me alone with Allison. “What the hell is going on?” she asks me.
“Allie, he hates me.” I cry harder. This sucks. We were finally getting somewhere and this happens. Shit. Shit. Shit.
“Tell me what happened,” she says gently. So I do. I tell her everything from Miles’s crazy plan to Aiden and me down by the pond. I don’t leave anything out, I need her on my side. I need Allie to talk to Aiden and tell him that it wasn’t what it looked like.
I dig my fingers into the palm of my hand, confirming I’m awake, that this is not a dream. Hailey and I really did just share the most erotic moment of my life. Not that anything we did was out of the ordinary; it just felt different with her. She’s different. I’ve fought my feelings for her until I have literally driven myself crazy. Dancing with her tonight, holding her in my arms, the fight left me. I want her, have for a while, and I don’t want to fight it anymore. I’ve never felt this way. Ever. I will do everything in my power to make it work, because she’s mine now. There is no going back from this. I was pissed earlier, seeing her with Miles, but she swears they’re just friends. Hailey has never lied to me.
When we are just outside the tent, I pull on her hand to stop her from going any further. I need to tell her what I’ve just worked out in my head. I need to explain to her that tonight was important to me, that she is important to me. Hales isn’t just a hook up. I want her to be mine. I’m pretty sure she wants the same thing after what we just shared. I explain to her why I’m going to let go of her hand, and what we just shared is important to me, but before we can really discuss how she feels, her mom interrupts us. Good. I’m not too proud to admit that I’m jealous as hell of this Miles character. I want him gone. Hell, I want everyone gone so I can slip in some more alone time with my girl.
I follow Hailey into the tent, sporting a smile a mile wide. My mind is rewinding back the last thirty minutes, and I’m not really paying too much attention, until I look up and see Miles kissing Hailey. My Hailey. What makes it worse is that she is doing nothing to stop him. She’s just standing there and letting him kiss her. She lied to me. My heart sinks and the smile on my face disappears.
“F*ck this!” I say as I turn and storm out of the tent. My mind is racing just as fast as my heart is beating. I can’t believe she f*cking lied to me! She said they were just friends. How could she have been with me, and then walk in there and kiss him? I want to rip his f*cking head off, but really, why should I? Hailey made her choice. She doesn’t want me. F*ck!
My first instinct is to get in my truck and drive away, away from Hailey and the pain in my chest. I’ve been drinking, and no matter how bad I need the distance, I won’t ever drink and drive. Instead, I head back down to the pond and sit on the dock. I slip off my shoes and dangle my feet in the warm water. Now that I’m here, I realize this was not the best choice. I should have just went to the truck to sleep it off. Instead, I sit here staring at the spot where I touched her, kissed her. F*ck, this pain in my chest is intense. I’ve never felt this… this all-consuming need to…to not need love. Not even an hour ago, I was ready to go all in with her. I wanted her to know how I felt. I guess it’s a damn good thing her mom interrupted us. Son of a bitch! I knew better. I knew I should have left her alone. It was a hell of a lot easier to want her from afar. Now that I’ve tasted her, witnessed her in the throes of passion…yeah, it f*cking sucks ass!
I should have grabbed a few beers to bring down here with me, but then that would have required me to see people. I can’t see people. I can just see Liam telling me how much of a p-ssy I am, crying like a baby over a girl. That’s just it though, she’s not just any girl; she’s Hailey, and I thought she was my girl.
I see a shadow fall over the lake. I turn to see Liam sit down beside me. “Hey, man, you okay?”
“F*cking fantastic,” my voice is laced with sarcasm.
“Care to fill me in on what happened?”
“You want to know what happened? I f*cking fell in love with your sister. We went for a walk and had a…moment. I thought she felt the same way. I’ve been fighting this for months, and was finally ready to take the leap for her. Not two minutes later, she’s kissing that f*ckstick, Miles.”
Neither, Liam or I say anything. The silence is there allowing me to run the image of Hailey and Miles over and over again, like a broken record.
“She’s my Allison,” I tell him, fighting the lump in my throat. “You don’t have to worry about me breaking her heart though, because she just ripped mine out of my f*cking chest.”
“I think you should talk to her, she’s pretty upset,” he tells me.
I laugh. “Yeah, upset that she’s busted maybe. Tell me what you would have done if you’d just decided to take the leap with Allie, and you thought she was on the same page as you, but then you walk into a room not two minutes later and see her kissing another guy. A guy she swore she was just friends with, but she isn’t making any effort to push him away. What would you have done?” I question.
Liam is quiet for a few minutes. “I would have bolted. It took me a long time to decide to make a play for her, to let her see that she is what I want. I can tell you honestly, if I would have seen what you just described, I would have walked away too. I can’t believe Hailey did that to you.”
I don’t reply, because I don’t know how to. I really thought, after all these months of subtle touches and looks, she wanted me too. Hell, we just shared one of the most incredible moments of my life. She’s good, I’ll give her that. She sure fooled me.
Liam’s cell rings. He pulls it out and shows me the screen. It’s Allie. “Hey, baby. Yeah, I found him. No, he’s not ready to talk to anyone right now. Let’s just give him some time. I’m going to hang out here with Aiden for a while. Yeah, okay, love you too, beautiful girl,” he says, hanging up the phone.
“That was Allison. She wanted to know if I had found you. She and Hailey wanted to come talk to you. I turned them away.”
“Thanks, man. I can’t see Hales right now, and Allison will just make me talk and I don’t want to talk about how my heart just got ripped out of my chest. I’m done talking.”
“I get it. So what’s the plan?” Liam asks.
“The plan is that I’m going to sit my ass here on this dock until I’m sober enough to drive, and then I’m going home…to Charlotte. I’m going to try to forget her.”
His phones beeps with a text. I watch as a smile spreads across his face. It has to be Allison. “What’s she saying?”
“Oh, uh, she’s heading upstairs to bed. She got Hales settled in and just wanted to tell me that she’ll wait up for me.”
“Go,” I tell him.
“No, man, I’m good.”
“Liam, go. I need time to clear my head anyway.”
“Don’t drive yet. Wait a little longer and text me as soon as you get there, no matter what time it is.”
“Will do. My buzz is shot, so I should be fine in another hour or so. Hey, can you bring my bag with you tomorrow? I don’t want to risk running into her. I know she and I will have to talk, but I just can’t, not yet.”
Liam stands to leave. “When you’re ready, at least talk to her. Don’t let this come between you guys.”
Can I do that? I’m not sure. “I’ll see what I can do. I can’t promise anything,” I tell him honestly.
Liam nods his head, turns and walks away. I’m alone again, with a steady reel of Hailey and I on repeat in my mind. Then I see Miles and his lips on hers, his arms around her. Hailey doing nothing to stop it, and the anger comes flooding back. F*ck!
I lie back on the dock and look up at the night sky thinking about what I could have done different. I think about the last several months and every single moment that I’ve shared with her. The signs were there, I just chose to ignore them. This is just as much my fault as it is hers. I should have told her how I felt. I should have taken a chance on her, on us. Instead, I pushed her to him.
My phone vibrates in my pocket; I pull it out and see a text from Hailey.
Hailey: Please let me know you’re okay. I can explain. Please.
I stare at the message as if looking at it will tell me what to do. I close out of the message screen and see that I’ve been laying here for two hours. I stand up and stretch, all effects of the alcohol are gone. I pull my keys out of my pocket and head back towards the house to my truck. I don’t really feel like driving back to Charlotte tonight, but I won’t be able to sleep anyway, and I can’t see Hailey. Not yet. I hit my key fob and unlock the doors. I climb in and go to set my cell phone in the console. I swipe across the screen with my thumb and open up her message.
Me: I’m safe. Don’t worry.
I power off my phone and hit the open road. At least there won’t be much traffic.