I am so engrossed in my paper that I am startled when Allison comes barreling through the door of our room. Actually, it’s more like my room. She hasn’t slept here in months, and most of her things have migrated their way to Liam’s.
“Hey, how’s the writing coming?” she asks cheerfully.
“Good actually. I’m just about finished.”
“Good thing, the guys are down stairs ready to go.”
I quickly save the paper and close my laptop. I grab my keys and wristlet, and follow Allison out the door, pulling it closed and making sure that it’s locked.
“I don’t really have a lot of time to explain, so the details will have to come later.” She places a hand on my arm to stop me from moving forward. “Liam watched the draft today, and he saw the kiss between you and Aiden. He was pissed at first, but I gently reminded him that he is currently engaged to Aiden’s little sister,” she says this as she wiggles her ring finger in front of my face, flashing her engagement ring.
My palms are starting to sweat. Liam cannot find out how I feel about Aiden. Shit, Shit, Shit!
“It was nothing. We were both just caught up in the moment.” Liar!
Allison starts walking again. “That’s what Aiden said, so Liam has calmed down. I just thought you should know in case it gets brought up.”
My heart drops at hearing that the kiss was just that, a kiss between two friends who were caught up in celebration. At least in Aiden’s eyes. I swallow back the emotions threatening to spill over.
Allison pushes open the door to our building, and front and center are Liam and Aiden both leaning against the front of Liam’s Pathfinder. “Let’s get a move on, boys,” I say in what I hope is a cheerful, not affected by Aiden, voice. I have to learn to be me, and want him from afar without anyone knowing. Maybe the distance in the fall will help.
Liam walks to the passenger side, opening both doors, one for me and one for Allie. Aiden slides in the backseat next to me from the other side. “Hey, you,” he says playfully, nudging my leg with his.
“Hey, how was the gym?”
Aiden shrugs. “Same old, same old. I got it in.”
“Allie, did you tell Hales that you found a few dresses online,” Liam asks her.
“Oh my gosh! Hailey, you have got to see them. They are so gorgeous,” she gushes.
“So when is this shindig taking place?” Aiden asks.
Allison laughs. “We haven’t set a date just yet, but we will soon,” she says while leaning over the console to place a kiss on Liam’s cheek.
The remainder of the drive to my parents’ is consumed with wedding talk. Liam wants to marry Allison tonight, but she is having no part of it. She talks about a small, intimate wedding with close friends and family. I hear the hitch in her voice at this point in the conversation. It’s hard for her, not having any family. My heart breaks for her. I am so glad she came into our lives. She’s one of the strongest, most loving people I have ever met. She’s going to be my sister!
Walking into my parents’ house, it’s unusual that they are not at the door to greet us. “Mom? Dad?” I yell through the house, while the others trail behind me.
“Out here, Hales,” my dad calls from the back patio.
Pushing the screen door open, I stop in shock. Sitting with my parents are Aiden’s parents. They have met several times, but never ‘hung out’.
Aiden makes his way to his mother and bends to kiss her cheek, before reaching out to give his father a man hug. “What’s going on? What are you guys doing here?” he asks them.
“The MacCoy’s invited us to dinner, and thought that Sunday would be a great time, since all of our kids would be here as well.” Aiden’s face is lit up with a smile and Allison has tears in her eyes. I can only assume it’s from them referring to her as their kid. She embraces Mrs. Emerson and gives Mr. Emerson a kiss on the cheek. He apparently isn’t satisfied with that, because he pulls her into a tight hug.
My dad walks over and puts his arm around me. “Well, now that the gang’s all here, I’ll light the grill.” He drops a kiss on my cheek and saunters off to the grill, beer in hand. Have I mentioned that I have amazing parents?
I join my mom, Allison, and Mrs. Emerson at the table, while the guys all head towards the grill. What is it with the male species and their grills anyway?
“Allison, have you and Liam thought about the wedding?” Mrs. Emerson asks.
Allison’s face breaks out in a huge grin as a blush stains her cheeks. “We have talked a little bit. We know that we want something small and simple.”
Mom leans in, eating up every word of the conversation. “Have you set a date?” she asks Allison.
“If Liam has anything to do with it, tomorrow.” I chuckle, as does my mom.
“Well, he knows what he wants. Who can blame him?” my mom replies. “Allison, I would be happy to help with anything that you need; don’t hesitate to ask.”
Mrs. Emerson places her hand over Allie’s on the table. “You know I love you like my own, and would love nothing more than to be there with you through all of this. Michael and I have always thought of you as our little girl,” she says, tears in her eyes.
Allison is fighting back tears and before she can reply, as if he can sense her sorrow, Liam appears in front of her, dropping to his knees. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
Allie’s tears slowly fall as she laughs through them. Resting her forehead against his. “Nothing is wrong, I’m happy.”
“MacCoy, you better not be making my sister cry,” Aiden says as he joins us at the table, taking the seat next to mine.
Liam glares at Aiden as he lifts Allison from her chair, and sits down with her on his lap. “You know better,” he sneers.
Aiden bumps his shoulder with mine and winks. This is a game we’ve played many times over the last several months. We both know that Liam would rather cut his arm off than do anything to hurt Allison, or upset her. We, however, get our kicks by trying to accuse him of it anyway. I know it sounds terrible, but don’t knock it until you try it.
Conversations drift. Allison and I talk with mom and Mrs. Emerson about wedding plans. The guys talk about football; shocker, I know. I’m still sitting next to Aiden, and I’m trying hard to ignore him and how much I want him. However, his knee keeps bumping mine, our elbows are rubbing, and we have reached for the pepper at the same time, twice. Needless to say, I am relieved when dad suggest we play a game of football; guys against girls. Normally I would bow out, but the thought of tackling Aiden to the ground raises my spirits. Besides, my big brother is officially a member of the NFL; I need to learn to embrace the sport for more than just cheering on the sidelines.
Aiden and Liam rise from the table, both pulling their shirts over their heads. Holy shit! I have to touch my chin to make sure that the drool I feel pooling in my mouth isn’t running over and causing me to look like I’m having some type of seizure. This him shirtless. Regardless of how often, it always has the same effect on me. Aiden has a true runner’s body. Lean. Fit. Ripped.
Game on!
Sitting next to Hales was a bad idea. To make matters worse, I continue to torture myself by bumping my leg with her’s and rubbing elbows. Yes, I’m well aware that I’m causing myself more grief, but I’ll take Hales any way I can get her. Mr. MacCoy suggests that we play a friendly game of pigskin, and I’m up and out of my chair. This has been a regular thing with us over the past four years. The only difference is that my parents are here, and now, so is Allison. Liam and I both make quick work of removing our shirts; we are playing shirts versus skins. The thought of Hales in nothing but the skin she was born in flashes through my mind. Although I know I shouldn’t, I chance a look at Hailey and she is starting at me. I can’t describe the look in her eyes. She notices me watching her and quickly turns her attention to my mom. I shake my head, clearing my thoughts, while following Liam and our fathers to the backyard.
Playing shirts and skins, the teams are totally off balance. All four of us on the “skins” team played high school and college ball. There is also that little known organization called the NFL that Liam and I are now a part of. The “shirts” don’t stand a chance. Liam comes sauntering over, grinning like a fool.
“What they hell are you smiling about?”
Liam shakes his head no. “Can’t tell ya, man. You get pissy when I do,” he replies, smirking.
I can only assume that this has something to do with Allison. I may regret this, but I’m hoping that it’ll get my mind off Hailey. “Lay it on me,” I tell him.
Liam wraps an arm around my shoulder and leans in to whisper in my ear. He’s acting like he’s about to divulge a secret that will change the world. “I get to tackle my girl. I’m shirtless, and Allie can’t resist me when I’m shirtless. This was the best f*cking idea ever!”
Shaking my head, I push him away. “Dude, I so did not need that visual.” In reality, I’m getting used to it. Even I can admit that they’re perfect for each other. I still need to give him shit, it’s in my job description as best friend.
Mr. MacCoy yells across the yard, telling us it’s time to line up. He declares ladies first. Hailey lines up across from me, imagine that. Suddenly, my earlier fantasy of Hales in just “skins,” and Liam’s little tidbit of knowledge regarding him and Allison, has my mind wondering to places it should not be going. Before I know what’s happening, I’m falling backwards to the ground and Hailey is in position to land on top of me. Instinct has me taking the brunt of the fall, while I wrap my arms around her to protect her from injury.
“Oomph.” I take a deep breath, pulling oxygen back into my lungs. Hailey is completely still on top of me. My heart is racing and my mind is running sexy scenarios faster than I can comprehend. I reach up and tuck a lose piece of hair behind her ear. “You okay, angel?” Hailey’s eyes widen at my endearment. Instinctively, I tug her tighter against me. I’ve never held her like this. We’ve kissed twice, yes, I’m keeping count, and we have shared hugs on many occasions. What I haven’t done, is hold her next to me so close that every inch of her is touching every inch of me. So close that it’s difficult to tell where she ends and I begin.
Hailey locks her eyes on mine. “Hey,” she whispers.
In this moment, I want nothing more than to fuse my lips with hers and kiss her until we are both breathless. I want to kiss her until she knows how much I want her. I’m thinking of throwing caution to the wind and doing just that, when I hear Liam.
“Come on, Hales, isn’t it bad enough you just took down an NFL running back? Give the guy a break and let him up.” At this everyone laughs.
Hailey’s face goes crimson. “Sorry,” she whispers as she quickly stands and heads back to the line to stand beside Allison.
I’m lying flat on my back, staring at the blue sky. I shiver at the loss of warmth from having Hales tight against me.
F*ck!
Liam appears over me, shielding the sun. “You all right, man?”
”Yeah, I’m good. Just catching my breath. Hales knocked the wind out of me.” I’m not exactly lying.
He reaches his hand out to help me up. Once I’m on my feet, I glance at Hales and she has her head back laughing at something that the other three are saying.
Beautiful angel.
“Come on you two, let’s get this show on the road.” This coming from my dad.
We line back up, this time I make sure that I’m across from my mom. Dad gives me a curious look, but I act as though I don’t even notice. After all of the small touches at dinner and our recent tumble and embrace, I can’t take much more. Hailey MacCoy is going to be the death of me.
We run play after play, and time seems to fly by. I make sure that I’m never lined up with Hailey. At one point, I look in her eyes…she looks upset. I want to pull her into my arms and explain that she’s testing my will power. That I want nothing more than to be the one rolling around on the ground with her, but I can’t. Losing her as a part of my life is a risk that I’m not willing to take. Losing her would break me.
What. The. Hell. Was. That.
Trying to get my bearings, I make my way back to my team, “the shirts”. My mind is reeling with my encounter with Aiden. The way he was looking at me. The tenderness in his eyes, in his voice. Holy shit! My panties are wet from three little words. Aiden has never called me angel before. It’s usually Hales and sweetheart, but that’s a southern gentleman thing. Angel, yeah that’s not.
I reach my team and catch the tail end of Allison explaining our “game plan”. Apparently, we are handing the ball off to her and she’s going to shake her ass at Liam to distract him. We all know there is no way he’s going to give anyone else the opportunity to tackle her. I throw my head back and join them in laughter. Allison, my best friend, I can always count on her, even when she doesn’t realize that I need her. Our moms head towards the line, which is also the middle of the backyard. Allison bumps my shoulder with hers.
“You okay?” I can see the question in her eyes. She has tried multiple times to talk to me about Aiden. I made the mistake a long time ago of letting her know that I have lusted after him for years. At the time, I had no idea that they were practically family, or that she would eventually marry into mine. I continue to tell her that there is nothing there, but Allie is perceptive. I need to step up my game if I plan to continue to hide my feelings for him.
Throughout the rest of the game, Aiden makes it a point to avoid me. I fight back the tears that are battling to push to the surface. I know deep down that Aiden doesn’t want me, but until this moment, I’ve pretended that he did. That he wanted me and that maybe, just maybe, at some point in the future, we would both confess our love and live happily ever after. Yeah right! Aiden Emerson delivered me a gigantic dose of reality. He has no desire to be, and will never be mine. His actions confuse the hell out of me. He was so sweet and tender. He called me angel. Yet, he is going out of his way to avoid me. His temporary lapse in judgment must have worked into to the conscious part of his brain, telling him he needs to stay clear. Mission accomplished, Emerson. Mission Accomplished.
I feel a strong arm wrap around my shoulders. A scent that is forever ingrained in my brain, surrounds me. Daddy.
“Hey, baby girl. You ready for some dinner?” He kisses the top of my head.
I wrap both arms around his waist and hug him tight. “Yeah, let’s go.” We turn to walk back towards the house; my arms still wrapped around his waist. Dad stops his strides about halfway there, halting my steps in the process.
“You okay, Hales?” he asks, concern lacing his voice.
“I’m good, dad. Just a lot of emotions over the past several weeks; I think it’s all catching up with me.” I hear laughter coming from the porch I look up and see Aiden and Liam spraying each other with the water hose. My chest tightens at the sight of Aiden. I need time to clear my head, but the four of us are always together.
Dad follows my gaze and hugs me close. “Why don’t you stay here tonight? I can drive you back tomorrow. Give you a break,” he suggests.
“You know what? That sounds like a great idea. I would love to spend more time with you and mom.”
“Come on, let’s get some dinner” he says, tugging me along with him.
We make it to the patio and everyone is already digging into the leftovers. “What took you two so long?” mom asks us.
“I was just convincing my baby girl to spend the night with us. Give us all some time to catch up,” Dad says.
I walk over and sit down beside mom; Mrs. Emerson is on the other side of her. I can’t sit by Aiden. I have tortured myself enough for one day. Mom smiles at me, she’s happy that I’m staying and that smile alone lifts some of the sadness in my heart. My parents are amazing people, and I hope to one day have a relationship like theirs.
The leftovers are just as good as they were the first time. Everyone thanks mom and dad, and Mr. and Mrs. Emerson decide it’s time to head home. They have about a two -hour drive ahead of them. We all walk them outside and say out goodbyes.
“Well, we better head out too,” Liam says. “You still staying here, Hales?”
Allison offers me a small smile. I chance a glance at Aiden and he’s watching me, the expression on his face is blank. Unreadable.
Pulling my gaze back to Liam and Allison, I answer, “Yeah, I want to hang with mom and dad tonight. Dad said he would drive me back tomorrow sometime. I need to start packing up the dorm, so I’ll get him to stop and get me some boxes on the way there.”
“That’s a good idea. Have him pick up a few extra so we can get the rest of Allie’s stuff to our place,” Liam says.
“Will do, big brother. You guys be safe,” I say, giving Liam and Allison a hug goodbye. After releasing them, they head towards the car. When I turn around, Aiden is standing right behind me. I almost knock him over; he is standing so close. He tucks a lose tendril of hair behind my ear. “You okay, angel?” he asks me.
No, I want you. “Yeah, I’m good,” I say, taking a step back. “I just want to spend some time with mom and dad. I’ll see you guys tomorrow I’m sure.”
Aiden doesn’t say anything else. He nods his head in acceptance, steps in and gives me a tight hug, and then turns and walks away. My knees are shaking and my heart is racing. Definitely need a break.
I collapse on the front porch step and watch them drive away. Tears burn the back of my eyes. I’m going to miss the three of them so much. In just a few months, we will be three hours away from each other. Not too bad as far as distance goes, but I need to get used to it. Staying here tonight is a good start. Although I hate to admit it, I think distance might be my only hope of getting over Aiden.
I hear the front door open, and footsteps cross the creaky boards of the porch. Mom sits down beside me. I rest my head on her shoulder. We sit in silence for several minutes. She reaches over and lays her hand on top of mine. “Want to talk about it?” she asks quietly.
It’s with those words that the dam breaks. Hot tears flow from my eyes as I silently cry over what I want, and what I know I’ll never have. Mom wraps her arms around me, her way of telling me that she will always be there and everything will be okay.
“You know, Aiden feels the same way about you,” she softly whispers.
I lift my head so I can see her face. “What? How?” I ask because, well, I don’t believe that he does, and how the hell does she know everything?
Mom chuckles softly. “Hales, you have had your eyes set on Aiden from the day Liam brought him home for the first time. He looks at you the same way.” She shrugs.
“Mom, he doesn’t want me. You saw how he acted today. He went out of his way to avoid me all together.”
“Yes, he did. He also looked at you like you were the air that he breathes. You were too wrapped up in avoiding him as well, to see the looks that he was giving you. You were looking at him the same way. Give him some time, sweetie. Aiden has not had these feelings as long as you have. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. Jennifer and I both think you all will find your way together.”
“What? You and Mrs. Emerson have talked about Aiden and me?” I asked, astonished at the thought.
This time, she full on laughs. “Yeah, we have. We see it in both of you. A mother knows these things.”
I place my head back on her shoulder. “I needed distance,” I tell her.
“Well, you know what they say? Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I saw the way he hugged you goodbye. He was not okay with leaving you here. Give it time; Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
I smile at her, “I love you, mom.”
She gives me a hug that only a mother can give. “I love you too, Hales.”
The drive back home is quiet. I’m driving while Liam and Allison are in the backseat, cuddled up together. Bastard. I hope he realizes how lucky he is. I drop them off at the dorms to get Liam’s Pathfinder. I vaguely remember telling them goodbye. My mind is on Hailey. She looked so sad when I left her standing there in her parents’ drive. I know I’m the reason she’s sad, but f*ck, I needed to stay away from her, or I might have embarrassed us both in front of our families. I hate that I’m the one who put that look in her eyes.
Before I even realize it, I’m pulling into the condo. I make my way inside and stop in my tracks. I see the futon that Hales always sleeps on, and she’s not there. I want her there. I hear Liam and Allison at the door, so I quickly head to my room. I throw myself onto my pillow top mattress and wait for sleep to claim me. It doesn’t. I reach for my phone, thinking that listening to some music will help clear my head and make me fall asleep. I open my music app and hit shuffle. “Rock N Roll” by Avril Lavigne begins to play and I smile. Hailey and Allison love this song. Allison insisted that I download it so she and Hailey could “rock out” a few weeks ago when we were all just hanging out. Instead of clearing my head, I think about how amazing she looked that night. They were both in flannel pajama pants and tank tops, not a stich of make-up, hair pulled up into a knot on the top of their heads. I slept on the couch that night too, just to be in the same room with her. Before I can stop myself, I’m opening the messages tab on my phone.
Me: Night, angel.
I wait with my phone clutched in my hand. Will she reply? Did I damage the relationship that I am so tightly holding onto? Before my mind can wander, my phone alerts me of a new message.
Hailey: Night.
I release the breath I didn’t even realize I was holding. She responded, so that means she doesn’t hate me. I need to keep my shit in check, so that my reaction this afternoon never happens again. Otherwise, I’ll lose her anyway, without her ever really being mine. Yeah, that’s not going to happen. Eventually I drifted off to sleep.
The next day, I wake up and find Liam and Allie in the kitchen making pancakes. I slowly shuffle my feet to the coffee pot and pour myself a cup.
“Hey, man, what you got going on today?” Liam asks me.
“Nothing, just hitting the gym. You?”
“Well, we are going over to the dorm to pack up the rest of Allie’s things to bring them here. They have to be out of the dorms next week anyway. I was wondering if you might be able to help. I want to help Hales get all of her stuff too. I told her she could stay here. I think she’s going to take over the condo when we leave.”
“Yeah, let me get more caffeine in me and a quick shower, and then I’m all yours,” I tell him.
“So your parents decided to let her live off campus? I’m going to miss her so much,” Allison says to us.
“Yeah, apparently she’s nervous about who she’ll get stuck with as a roommate as most are staying together. Hales also sold the theory to mom and dad that we could all stay with her when we are in town to visit her.” Liam chuckles. “Dad asked her how she knew we would be back, and of course, Hales’s response was that ‘she’s too awesome for us not to’,” he tells us, shaking his head.
Hell yes, she is. The thought of not seeing her every day is causing an ache in my chest. “She definitely knows how to work them,” I say instead.
“Yeah, she always has,” Liam says, while stuffing his mouth full of pancake.
Allison sets a heaping plate in front of me and my mouth waters. Having her here with us all the time definitely has its perks. I finish off my stack in record time, then hit the shower. As I’m dressing, my phone alerts me of a new message. I swipe my finger across the screen.
Hailey: Liam says you’re helping today. Thank you
Me: Welcome.
What I really want to say is that I will always be there. I, however, need to keep it simple, keep my replies as if we are just friends. We will only ever be friends.
We arrive at the dorms around noon. Hailey and her parents have already made a pretty good dent. There are stacks of boxes in the hallway outside the door, so Liam and I begin carrying them down to his father’s truck. Once all the boxes that were ready to go are loaded, we head back upstairs to help the girls pack.
There are six of us in their dorm room and boxes all over the place. It’s tight quarters, and they have one of the bigger rooms. I see Hailey trying to lift a box off the floor. I reach her in time to place my hand on her arm to stop her. I bend down and pick up the box, she thanks me and I wink at her. That’s what friendly, flirty Aiden would have done. “I got this, pixie,” I chide her. She punches me in the arm with a smile on her face.
“I can take you, Emerson,” she says, laughing.
Her laugh is music to my ears. I think Hales and I are gonna be okay. I just need to keep my game face on.
We spend the entire afternoon packing and loading boxes. “Well, I think that’s the last of it,” I say to Liam and his father.
“Thank God,” Liam moans. “How did they pack so much shit in that little room?”
“Not going there, man.” I know better than to let Allison or Hailey either one hear me talking about their “shit.” I enjoy the meals they make us. I’m keeping my trap shut.
“Your mom and the girls are going to stay and clean, run the sweeper, scrub the bathroom. Why don’t we head over to your place and unload?” his dad asks us.
“Sounds good, be right back,” Liam yells over his shoulder.
“Where the hell are you going?” I yell back, knowing full well that he never leaves Allison without kissing her goodbye. Damn, that boy is whipped.
Ten minutes later, Liam emerges from the building and we are on our way to the condo. The drive is short, so we are there in no time. Mr. MacCoy backs his truck up to the garage so we can unload. I have never been so glad that our condo has an attached garage. Liam and I rarely use it. We have a weight bench out there that we moved to the corner to allow more room for the girls’ stuff. Just as we are unloading the final box, the ladies pull up in Hailey’s car. They climb out of the car, each one with their arms full. Mrs. MacCoy is carrying pizzas. Allison has a twelve pack of Bud Light and a twelve pack of Diet Coke, and Hailey has what appears to be chips, dip, napkins, and plates. These girls are the shit!
Mr. MacCoy runs to his wife’s side and takes the pizzas from her arms. He then leans down and kisses her softly on the lips. She smiles up at him. Liam relieves Allison of her beer and Diet Coke and does the same. I take the bags that Hailey is carrying, but I don’t lean down to kiss her. My lips ache to taste hers, to have one more sample of what she has to offer, but I stay strong, so instead, bump my shoulder with hers and give her a wink. “We better hurry inside in case it’s contagious,” I tell her.
Her eyes sparkle as she laughs and I again feel like all is right with the world. Hailey is happy, that makes me happy.
The next couple of weeks seem to fly by. Liam and I have meeting after meeting with our agent and the Panthers’ reps. Contracts are discussed as well as the details of when to report to training camp. Liam and I also graduated from college last week, both receiving our Bachelor’s degree in Sports Medicine. Our families once again got together to celebrate. This time it was at my parents’ house. We were all worried how Allison would be, since her gran lived next door, but she handled it well. The house remains empty; she has yet to decide what she is going to do with it.
Allison and Hailey are living at the condo now full-time. I’ve offered Hailey to take over my room so she’ll have more privacy, but she continues to decline. She says that she’ll have the place all to herself soon enough. I don’t know why it bothers me to have her out there when the rest of us are in private rooms. We rarely have the guys over anymore, it’s just the four of us. I like it that way. I don’t want things to change. I don’t want to think about how things will be once we all move to Charlotte and leave Hales behind. Nope, not going there.