Tenley became more hysterical when Sarah tried to peel her off me. She wasn’t even holding her own weight anymore. Afraid she might damage the fresh ink, or herself, I slid one hand under Tenley’s knees and picked her up. Her grief and anguish spilled onto my shirt as the storm inside her swelled and exploded. It was bound to happen. Committing that much ink to her skin could make old wounds feel new again. Add a cocktail of drugs and alcohol, and a breakdown was assured.
I carried her to her bedroom. Sarah followed, obviously not pleased with the situation, but I didn’t care. It was her fault Tenley was messed up in the first place and my fault she sought that kind of escape.
Tenley stayed that way for a long time, curled up in my lap, hands fisting my shirt as tears poured out of her. I wanted this to help her, but I was all too familiar with how little difference it made. Finally the tears stopped and she hiccupped little, stunted sobs. Her body relaxed as her breathing evened out.
Sarah turned down the covers and helped untangle Tenley from me, and together we laid her down on her side. TK snuggled into her hair immediately. Tenley’s face was red and blotchy; a heavy line creased her brow right above the bridge of her nose. Even in her sleep she looked haunted. Pulling the sheets over her, I dropped a kiss on her cheek. When she was settled, I followed Sarah into the hall.
“What’s going on between you two?”
“I don’t think that’s any of your business.” If Tenley wanted Sarah to know, she would have told her. And besides, I didn’t know how to define what we were. I wasn’t just her tattooist, and we definitely weren’t just fucking. At least it didn’t feel like fucking. It felt better.
“Oh, that’s where we’re going to disagree. I think it is my business. Your friend practically lives at The Dollhouse right now, and I’ve heard some stories about you that aren’t very flattering.”
I moved into the living room, farther away from Tenley in case the discussion got more heated.
“From Sienna?” I asked, bitter that no matter what I did, that part of my past kept coming up.
“Among others.”
“Look, I care about Tenley. I know she’s been through a lot. Until tonight I didn’t know how bad it was, but I won’t take advantage of her.” This was not how I’d expected things to go this evening. I’d wanted to crawl into bed with Tenley and stay with her through the hard parts, not defend myself against a past that kept kicking me in the balls. “I know what the rumors are. I can’t and won’t deny that some of them are probably true. I was a screwed-up kid, and I’m not proud of some of my choices. Sienna enjoys messing with people. I haven’t had anything to do with her in over a year, despite what she might tell you.”
“You know how bad she makes you out to be?”
“Sienna likes to play the victim, but believe me when I tell you she’s not. And when she is, it’s only because she chooses to be, and it’s usually at the expense of others.” I dropped down on the couch.
“You shared a lap dance the night you were at the club.”
“That was coercion, not choice,” I said. My regret over it made my stomach turn.
“I’m sure that girl forced you to sit there while she dry-humped your lap.”
I barely knew Tenley when that happened. Not that it made a difference. I still wanted her then. “My friend Chris, the one who’s stalking you? He was there to see you. He bought me the dance even though I told him not to, repeatedly. I didn’t want to offend the girl. I know it doesn’t make me look good and I get that, but I can’t take it back. Tenley’s important to me, more than you know. Why do you think I’m here?”
“For reasons other than the obvious? Why should I believe you?”
“Heard anything at night lately?”
“What?”
“Tenley has nightmares. Have you heard anything lately?”
“Not lately, but what does . . .”
“You want to know why that is? Because I’ve been here with her. I’ve been taking care of her.”
“I’m sure you have,” she said sardonically.
“You’re twisting my words. That’s not what this is about. She needs me and I need her. Don’t try and take her away from me.” The thought made my chest uncomfortable.
She glowered at me. “I’ll have you castrated if you hurt her.”
I nodded, not bothering to argue the case for my dick. Besides, Sarah had information I needed. “Was the accident less than a year ago?”
“It’s been close to eleven months now.”
“Fuck.” So, Tenley had been honest about that part. “How many people did she lose?”
I did and didn’t want the answer to this question. Sarah’s silence was suffocating, and after several long moments I looked up to see her twisting her hands in her lap. Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. “Nine.”
She had lost so much more than her parents.
“There were only thirteen survivors,” Sarah whispered. “Everyone she loved was on that plane, and she was the only one who made it out.”
I put my hand up. I didn’t want to hear any more, even though there was so much I still needed to know. I wasn’t going to get the whole story tomorrow, or the next day, for that matter. Just like I had given her a piece of my past while keeping the rest safely tucked away, Tenley had done the same.
“You see now?”
I did. Tenley wasn’t just broken; she was shattered.
20
TENLEY