“I get why it was too hard to tell me. I don’t like it, but I get it.”
“I shouldn’t have kept it from you.” I shouldn’t continue to keep things from him. And that was it, the horrible truth under it all. I couldn’t tell him the most significant part of my loss. Because in owning it, I would be forced to look at what I was doing with Hayden, and why he felt so much more right than Connor ever had.
“About when the accident happened or who was on the plane with you?” He was close, but he made no move to touch me again.
“Both.”
“No. You shouldn’t have. But it doesn’t change whether or not I’ll finish the tattoo if that’s what you’re worried about.” There was hurt lurking beneath his fierce front. As if he believed the tattoo was all that mattered to me. If only it had been that simple.
“That’s not what I’m worried about.” I ached to touch him, ached just as much for his touch.
“What is it then?” Like he sensed my need, his knuckle brushed down my cheek and he lifted my chin.
I shook my head, unable to express my fears.
“Tenley, talk to me.”
“That woman at the shop—”
“Isn’t important.”
“But—”
“I wasn’t lying when I said you were the only one. I don’t want anyone else but you.”
Hayden demanded, he cursed and he seduced, but he didn’t plead. I sensed the weight of his fear in his tenderness. He was as afraid as I was to answer questions. As much as I wanted him to be right about what did and didn’t matter, I knew differently. My past haunted my present and shaped my future. But for now, I would let it go because whatever his demons were, I didn’t need them to haunt us both. Not yet.
I ran a hand up his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. In some ways, Hayden was just as fragile as me. “In case you were wondering, you’re the only one I want.”
A slow grin formed, cocky with a hint of relief. “You look tired. Did you sleep okay last night?”
“Not really.”
“Me neither. My bed felt empty.”
He braced a hand on the counter behind me and dropped a lingering kiss on my lips. When he straightened, he snuck a finger under the strap around my neck, following it down to where it met the apron bodice. “I like this.” It was blue with pink piping, covered in a cupcake print. Of course he liked it.
“What a surprise.”
“Can you turn around for me?”
“Why?”
“I want to check my art.”
“Oh.” I turned away from the mischievous glint in his eye hoping he couldn’t see my disappointment.
“What did you think I was going to do?” he asked. His hands settled on my hips and moved lower, covering the scar on the outside of my thigh.
“I don’t know.” Get me naked and take me from behind. We hadn’t done it that way yet.
“You don’t know, or you don’t want to say?”
When I stayed silent, he chuckled. “Please tell me you would never leave your apartment in these.” His finger glided along the hem of my shorts, grazing the curve of my backside.
“They cover all the important parts.”
“Barely.”
The ache between my thighs flared. “Don’t tease,” I whispered.
“Sorry.” He withdrew just as he reached the place where his fingers would have been most welcome.
The strangest emotion welled inside me; beyond desire and fear, quiet rage filtered through. I didn’t know what the impetus for it was. I only knew that if Hayden touched me the way I needed him to, it would go away.
“This looks good so far. Does it hurt much?” he asked as he traced the border of the design.
“I took something for it this morning,” I said. Even with the painkiller it hurt a lot, more around the scarred areas.
“It needs to be washed. I should have done it last night. I can take care of it now,” he said softly.
When I turned to face him, he looked repentant. I didn’t know what for, but if he needed forgiveness, there were other ways he could achieve it. “I have something else I would rather you take care of first.”
His throat bobbed with a nervous swallow. “Such as?”
I palmed the back of his neck. He resisted, conflict heavy in the slant of his brow.
“Please?” All my uncertainties funneled into the singular desire for him.
He ducked his head, lips light on mine, still holding back. “You taste sweet.”
He sucked on my bottom lip and cupped my cheek in his palm, his touch and his kiss gentle. I leaned into him, feeling the thick ridge of his erection against my stomach. He might not want to give in, but his body had other ideas. What I was about to do would make him crack.