Betting on Hope

Chapter 17



Tanner slid open the door that connected his room to the patio. He held a couple of towels and some folded clothing.

“Hey, Hope, I found—” he started, and then he stopped and stared.

Hope stood on the top step of the pool. She was swirling the water with her feet. Her eyes were closed. Her shoulders were relaxed. Her face—she looked so, so—happy. So not like earlier, at the birthday party.

“Hmmm?” she answered dreamily, not opening her eyes.

He dropped the towels and old clothes he’d found on a chair and kicked off his shoes. Then he joined her at the edge of the pool.

“You want to go in?” he asked. “I found—”

“Oh, I couldn’t. Really,” she said, opening her eyes.

Why couldn’t she? She just wanted to get one toe wet and not get the full experience? She knew what she was missing, but she was willing to miss it anyway? He’d had enough of that.

“Try it,” he said, smiling at her, putting his hand on her back. “You might like it.” And with that, he pushed her gently into the water. Caught off balance, she went in with a big splash, not at all gracefully. And when she came up, outraged and sputtering, he laughed and went into the water after her.

She splashed and coughed a bit regaining her feet, pushing her wet hair away from her face. “What did you do that for?” she said, outraged. “I’m soaked.”

“You looked like you needed to cool off and float around a little, and I wanted to help you,” he said, tossing his head to get the water out of his eyes.

“I have nothing else to wear. What am I supposed to do about my clothes?”

He glanced at her dress. Now that she was standing, it floated up around her waist, making her look like a blonde lotus flower. He could see her legs. All of her long legs, which was very nice. And the wet fabric hugging her breasts was very nice, too.

“I’ve got a clothes dryer. And an iron. You’ll be fine. How’re you doing over there? Feeling cooler?”

She lowered herself in the water until it came up to her neck, gently moving her arms back and forth, letting it splash gently against her skin. She still looked disgruntled.

“I can’t believe you did that,” she said. “Just shoved me in.” She dropped her head back, letting the water flow over her face, and then stood up to let her hair stream back over her shoulders.

Then she looked at him again. “And I don’t know if this dress will ever be the same. Even on sale at the outlet mall, it cost the earth.” She grinned suddenly. “It was the premium outlet mall.”

Tanner grinned back, swimming towards her slowly. He saw her eyes darken even as she started to stroke back, away from him.

Excellent.

“If it’s ruined, I could replace it for you,” he said. “If you want to take it off, I could check the size.”

Hope laughed as she backed away from him. “I know that offer springs only from selfless generosity, but I don’t need you to check the size, thank you.”

“I just want to do the right thing,” Tanner said, advancing slowly through the water. “Since I got you wet.”

“Well, now that I’m in here, and the dress is ruined anyway, the water does feel good. I love this pool.”

“There’s nothing better than a swim on a hot day. Nothing makes you feel more refreshed. It would be even more refreshing if we weren’t dressed for a polar expedition.”

“Speak for yourself. I’m dressed just fine for a nice dip in the pool.”

Tanner, hampered only slightly by his jeans and shirt, now heavy with water, kept moving towards her. Hope kept backing up. The pool was long, so she had some room to maneuver. That was fine by him.

She could run, but she couldn’t hide. She liked being in the pool, and she liked his being in the water with her. He’d seen her eyes darken. The eyes never lied.

“I’m not sure there’s room for two fully dressed card sharks in this pool.” She smiled, looking like a very naughty Venus, still facing him, still swimming backwards, a little faster.

“That’s your first mistake. The only shark in this pool is the one that’s out to get you,” he said, and then she squeaked as he dove.



Hope heard herself shriek louder than a pre-teen girl at a boy-band concert when Tanner grabbed her ankles. What was he doing? And then she found out when he stood up and upended her in the pool, dumping her ignominiously back into the water.

She felt her skirt swirl around her waist, probably giving him a pretty good view of her underwear. The rat. Although it was white cotton today, all about coverage and nothing to get too excited about.

She dove away, skidding her palm across the top of the water as he jumped after her, but the wave she created caught him full in the face while he laughed, making him swallow a lot more water than he’d planned to. She laughed then, too, as he staggered, and she took advantage of his momentary weakness to grab his shoulders and push him down, dunking him. Good move.

As he went under, he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down with him. Not such a good move. Because when they simultaneously came up for air, he was still holding her around the waist. He’d pulled her tight against his body, and even with the cool water streaming down their skin and off their clothes, Tanner’s body was warm as he looked down at her, his smile lazy but his eyes alive with heat, his lashes beaded with droplets. Her heart hammered in her chest, and Hope felt winded, but not from exercise. Her insides were hot and liquid, melting her from her ears to her toes, and her legs weren’t holding her up. Her skin tingled with his closeness.

“See?” Tanner said softly. “Isn’t a swim nice?” And then he pulled her even closer and leaned down to kiss her.

Her voice of caution, the one that was trying to yell No card players! No heartbreak! seemed to have lost its usual volume. Hope knew it was in there somewhere, trying to be heard. But it was so faint, she could easily ignore it. And so, feeling free and happy and safe, with Tanner’s hands and breath and lips and tongue on her, turning the pool into a steam bath and herself as light and hot as vapor, she thought, Yes! More! And then she reached up to put her arms around his shoulders and kiss him back.



A half-hour later, after a very stimulating water fight, they sat across from each other at the patio table, colorful juice drinks in tall glasses before them. Hope was wearing a pair of Tanner’s old shorts and a baggy tee-shirt with the arms cut out while her dress spun around in the dryer, but she’d braided and pinned back her hair. Now she sipped her drink, feeling tingly and refreshed—excited but alarmed, too. What was she thinking, kissing Tanner in the pool? But she was having a great time.

Tanner moved his glass around the moisture ring on the table and then looked at her, his face gentle.

“So what’s with you and birthdays, anyway?” he asked.

Cold shock rippled through her. He sure knew how to throw all his cards right on the table.

“What do you mean?” she asked, stalling for time.

“I mean, why did you cry in the bathroom at Amber’s party? Marty said you didn’t like birthdays much.”

“Marty told you what happened?”

“No. He said you’d tell me if you wanted me to know. So I’m asking.”

Hope swallowed, feeling the familiar pain slice through her belly, her special family birthday pain.

Tanner reached out and took her hand.

“You can tell me, Hope. Your secret’s safe with me.”

“It’s not a secret. It’s just—bad family stuff.”

She hated talking about this. Her past with her father made her look like a chump and a fool—and it usually made her cry, too. No matter how old she got, the pain of her father’s abandonment never went away.

But Tanner was helping her with her poker game. He wanted to know, and the uncles seemed to like him. Those were two reasons to tell him. No reason, really, not to tell him.

And there was that water fight in the pool. The thought of it—of Tanner’s hands and shoulders and lips and tongue—made her flush. Even now he sat there so quietly, while he gently stroked his thumbs over the back of her hand.

She sighed, feeling her chest compress. She swallowed.

“My father is Derek McNaughton,” she began. “You probably figured that out by now, even though I lied when you asked me.”

Tanner nodded, still holding her hand.

“When I was a kid, maybe starting when I was five, he took me around to the card rooms he played in and showed me off.”

“When you were five? How did he do that? You can’t take kids into the casino card rooms,” Tanner said.

Hope nodded. “They were private games. Games where he could also cheat if he wasn’t winning legitimately. At first I think I was sort of a novelty for him, but then he taught me poker and I caught on really fast. He put me in a game when I was six or seven, if you can believe that, and I won. After that, he put me in games all the time, and suddenly I was a—star, I guess.”

She took a sip of her drink, wishing the cramp in her stomach would go away, knowing that it wouldn’t.

“I had the best time,” she said, shaking her head. “Me and my dad. Playing poker with him in those rooms seemed like such a huge adventure. I felt so special. Everybody thought I was cute. My dad bragged about me. I was on cloud nine all the time. I lived to go to the poker rooms.”

“Sounds like you had fun,” Tanner said. “So what happened?”

“As I got older, I won more. Derek won less. By the time I was twelve or thirteen I was winning more than he was and—”

“Did he keep your winnings?” Tanner interrupted. His voice had taken on a steely edge.

“Yes, but that wasn’t it. He was welcome to the money. It was—” Hope stopped, hearing with shame the quaver in her voice. She took a deep breath, then another, getting a grip, and went on.

“After I started to win some serious money, he started to not come home sometimes,” she said. “The first time he was gone for about a week, and we were all frantic. Mom was sick with worry. She called all the hospitals, the cops. And then he just turned up. Everything was fine. What were we so upset about, that’s what he asked. And over the next couple of years, he’d stay away longer and longer. Months at a time. We never knew where he went.”

“Couldn’t Marty have helped you?”

“I think Marty did try to get Derek to come home. But—Derek stayed away longer and longer. The more and better I played, the longer he stayed away.”

“Hope, don’t—” Tanner said, knowing what was coming, and not wanting her to have to say it.

“And I thought I’d done something to make him mad. Maybe I didn’t win enough. Or I wasn’t cute enough any more. I didn’t know why he stayed away, I just knew it was because of something I’d done.” Hope felt her stomach contract so sharply, it was like a knife to her abdomen. She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her lips together as she felt tears pool in her eyes, her throat thicken.

Would she never get over this? Everything had happened seventeen years ago. She was an adult now. She should be in better control. She took a deep, careful breath, the pain making her hiccup. She was holding Tanner’s hand now, gripping so hard her fingers ached.

“I thought that if I showed him how smart I was, if I just tried harder, he’d love me like he used to, back when it was fun, and he’d come home and he’d love me.”

She felt her face crumple at the memory. Tears streaked down her cheeks, and she brushed them away.

“I know it’s stupid,” she said, her voice quavering.

“It’s not stupid,” Tanner said, his voice tight.

“So for my fifteenth birthday—he’d been gone maybe six or seven months by then. But he’d never missed my birthday. Ever. Mom baked a big cake and fired up the barbecue and had balloons and decorations, and I waited out at the front gate until it was dark, but he never came. And I never saw him again.”

Tanner laced her fingers in his.

“Hope, he is a worthless, selfish—” he began.

“I know,” Hope said, sniffing. “I’ve told myself that, I know it’s true, but inside I just feel that our family fell apart because of me. That if I’d done something differently, been a better card player, or maybe just a better person, more lovable somehow—that he would have loved me more and stayed with us. I still get sick to my stomach about it.”

“No kid should think they have to earn their parent’s love,” Tanner said, his voice harsh. “You must know it wasn’t your fault.”

“In my head, I know that, but not in my gut,” she said. “In my head, I know he would have gone anyway. Maybe sooner, if I hadn’t played cards and made him look good. But I’m still a basket case about it. And then he never came back, so without the winnings he and I had brought in, we got poor, so I worried about that, too. I got a job after school to help out, and we’re doing a lot better now.”

“You didn’t wreck your family at fifteen,” Tanner said gently. “You’ve been trying to save your family since then.”

“Well, mom held us together, and I did what I could,” Hope said. “I’ve been able to help Faith with her business ventures, and I put a little something aside every month for the future. But that’s why birthdays are hard. And the really bad part is, there are so many of them.”

She smiled, a little wanly, feeling exhausted. She slumped back in the chair and closed her eyes as tears of hurt and anger and loss trickled down her face.

Now he knew.

She heard Tanner get out of his chair. She opened her eyes as he kneeled before her. His face was just inches from hers. He cradled her head in both his hands, his eyes tender, his thumbs gently wiping the tears from her cheeks. But his voice was harsh, tight with control, when he spoke.

“I’ve played cards with your father a couple of times, and I’ve always known he’s not much of a poker player,” he said. And now I know he’s a crappy human being, too. It’s cruel and cowardly to desert a family like that.”

“I know,” Hope said without much energy.

“The first thing we have to do is work on that birthday problem of yours. Starting today, we’re going to have lots of unbirthday parties with lots of presents. Positive reinforcement, that’s the ticket.”

Hope smiled, more strongly this time. “That’s a nice idea, but—”

“We had a nice party atmosphere in the pool, for example,” Tanner said, his eyes suddenly wicked.

Hope felt herself flush under his hands. She tried to pull back, but he didn’t let her go.

“That’s different,” she said. “We can’t—”

“I’m pretty sure we can have a party atmosphere anywhere we want,” Tanner said, grinning at her. “The patio, for example.” And leaning into her, he kissed her, calling her bluff.

“See?” he said, when they came up for air.

Hope smiled. “You’re right,” she said, feeling dazed. “It’s party time.”



“My dress shrank a little in the dryer,” Hope said, coming into the living room and tugging down on the bodice.

Tanner looked up from putting on his sandals and smiled at her, that devastating smile that made her want to kiss him in the pool or on dry land—anywhere, in fact.

“It fits perfectly,” he said. “Stop pulling on it. That dress looked fantastic on you before, but it was a little big. Now it looks the way it should.”

She rolled her eyes. “You are impossible,” she said, but she smiled.

Tanner stood up, checking his pockets for his keys as he moved toward the door. “We should go,” he said.

“I’ll be late,” she agreed, picking up her purse.

He stopped, his hand on the doorknob. “That’s not quite what I meant,” he said. “You have plans for the afternoon, and you really should play tonight. So for today, time is not on our side.”

He put his hand on her hip and leaned down to kiss her on the neck, a soft kiss that sent a shiver down her spine. Then he put his lips against her ear, his voice so soft, it was a whisper against her skin.

“Just so you know, pumpkin. I’m willing to wait until we have all the time we could want. Because when we go on our first picnic, we won’t want to rush it. There will be lots of things we’ll want to try, and plenty of tastes we’ll want to sample.”

Hope leaned into him, feeling dizzy and breathless.

“Can’t be rushed,” she said.

“Definitely not,” Tanner said softly, kissing her again, gently nipping her ear. “When we go on our first picnic, we’ll need plenty of time to savor the potato salad.”