Chapter Five – Megan
“He really is an a*shole,” Kay says, spying Aston across the yard.
He’s standing in front of a girl with more highlights than my e-reader, and bless her, she’s doing her best to push up her chest into his face. He smiles slowly at her, resting his arm against the tree next to him. She twirls some hair around her finger, attempting what she thinks is a demure smile.
“I see he took the conversation we had two days ago to heart,” Lila remarks.
“What conversation was that?” Maddie asks.
“I told him he needed to find a nice girl.”
“You obviously have different definitions of the word “nice,”” I say, harsher than I meant to. “Because the only thing nice about her will be when she turns around and leaves.”
Kay snorts. “I love it when you guys get jealous.”
My head snaps round. “Who said I was jealous?”
“You’re so green you’re practically blending in with the grass.”
“Right. Because being jealous of anyone with Aston is so likely.”
Yet I am jealous. I’m pissed. I’m disgusted. And I’m even more annoyed at myself for the clenching in my chest. I knew he’d be back to his usual tricks straight away, but seeing him in action now that I know every bit of him is like a punch to the stomach.
Seeing him with another girl when he was mine, even if just for a night, is like a clawed hand reaching into my chest and ripping out my heart.
“I’m not sayin’ you’re jealous of Aston…” Kay begins.
“Uh, yeah, you are,” Maddie mutters.
“Shut it, Stevens. I’m not sayin’ you’re jealous of Aston, Megs, I’m just sayin’ that you’re jealous because everyone apart from you is getting some!”
“Oh my god!” I cry loudly and throw my arms into the air. “Why is everyone in this place so focused on sex?”
Kay grins. “Because we’re all getting some, and it’s better than focusing on those f*cking paper deadlines we seem to have hundreds of.”
“But seriously? Sex doesn’t make the world go round.”
“It helps, though.” Lila shrugs.
“I am not jealous of the fact everyone is getting sex besides me.”
“Sounds like my kind of conversation.” Aston drops onto the ground next to me. Is this for real?
“What? Did Barbie have to go get her implants adjusted or something?” I snap, shifting away from him.
“She’s not my type,” he says noncommittally.
“Wow. You have a type?” Kay pretends to be shocked. “Oh, wait. That must be the cat-dragged-in type we usually see you with.”
“Shit, Kay, what’s up with you? Didn’t you get any of your own kind of cat this weekend?”
Kay looks him up and down and makes to stand. “I’ve probably seen more p-ssy than you have, Aston. At least, judging by the state of the things you take upstairs, more decent p-ssy, anyway.” She storms back towards the house.
“Just can’t help it, can you?” Lila sighs. “Doesn’t matter as long as they’re female. You have Megan perpetually pissed at you, Kay is now gunning for your balls – and lets not even go there with the amount of girls on campus you have wanting to shoot you.”
“I told you before. It’s not my fault if they think I’m gonna call them.”
“I’m staying out of this,” Maddie mutters, scrambling up. “I’ve got class. See ya.”
“They’re shocked he doesn’t call?” I raise an eyebrow, picking at the grass by my knee. “Honestly?” Lila nods and I look at Aston. “Damn. You really do sleep with stupid girls.”
“I do, huh?” He turns his face towards me slowly, his gray eyes challenging me.
“Yeah, ya do.” I run a thick blade of grass between my fingers, focused on him. “If I were them, I’d be shocked if you did call – hey, I’d be shocked if you even text. I mean, the girl who spoke to you the day after sleeping with you would have to be something, right?”
“Depends when I spoke to her,” he replies evenly.
“Say… The morning after?” I vocally challenge what’s in his eyes and silently send him one of my own.
You told me it meant something. I call bullshit.
“If I spoke to her the next morning, then it’d mean she’s more than a f*ck. It’d mean she meant something.”
I lose.
My heart pounds painfully in my chest, twisting and scrunching as what I can never have is dangled openly in front of my face. We are being dangled openly, for everyone to see, but they’ll never know. An open secret, a complete contradiction of itself.
“Then it’s a good thing no girl has ever got that morning chat, huh?” I ask quieter, forcing the hard edge into my voice.
Gray eyes flick to my lips, making me part them and draw in a breath. Aston rubs his chin, studying me carefully.
“Yeah, it is, isn’t it?” he replies just as quietly as I did.
Lila coughs, and I look away from Aston. Her eyes flick between us, and I grab my bag strap.
“I have to get to class. See ya later.” I get up and leave without looking back.
Lila is the teenage girl version of Sherlock Holmes. If she has any suspicion someone is up to something, then she’ll follow your ass around until she’s got to the bottom of it. If we’re not careful, Aston and I will have her on our backs.
But, as I walk back onto the main campus, I can’t stop thinking about what he said.
He said I meant something, that I was more than just a one night stand to him - but what is that “more?”
It doesn’t matter. It can’t happen. That one night shouldn’t have happened, so anything else definitely shouldn’t happen. What if “anything else” is the more? What if we both want that more? What would happen then?
I can fight my want for him.
There just isn’t a chance on this Earth I’d be able to fight anything if he wanted me, too.
~
Maddie and Lila loop their arms through mine, and I’m not surprised when we begin to head in the direction of Starbucks.
“Why do I get the feeling I’m not going to like whatever conversation we’re about to have?” I groan.
Maddie shrugs. “I have no idea.”
“It could be, oh, I don’t know… Maybe the fact you’ve both grabbed me and directed me towards the “chat room” of Starbucks?” I deadpan, looking to Lila. “And the fact Lila has that grin on her face that means she’s up to no good.”
“Okay.” Lila sighs as she pushes the door open. “Go sit down. I’ll get coffee.”
“This is not good,” I mutter to myself. “What did she do? What did she break?”
“Nothing.” Maddie pushes me down into an armchair and sits opposite me. “She didn’t do anything.”
“Then she’s about to do something, and if she’s buying me coffee, I don’t think I’m gonna like it much.”
“Well, it’s a “maybe baby” situation.” She taps her chin. “You’re either gonna love it or hate it, but I don’t think it matters…”
“Because I’m gonna do it anyway,” Lila sings, setting a tray on the table in front of us.
“I’m not going to lie to you, I’m starting to get a little scared.”
“Just tell her, Lila!” Maddie cries. “Before she takes that coffee and throws it on you!”
I grab my coffee and point it in Lila’s direction.
“Okay! So, I’ve been thinking,” she begins.
“Which is never a good thing,” I interrupt.
“Whatever. I’ve noticed you’re the only single one bar Kay – and I’d never dream of doing this to her.”
“Damn, you noticed I’m single?”
“She’s always off with some, er, girl, I’m with Ryan, and Maddie with Braden, leaving you all alone.”
“Oh no.” I know exactly where she’s going with this.
“So I was thinking you need a guy-”
“No.”
“So then you won’t be all alone. Obviously Aston is out of the question…”
Ha.
“And Braden will kick your ass if you try and set her up with anyone in the frat house,” Maddie points out.
“But the frat house is only a small portion of the incredibly yummy guys in this campus. I mean, come on.” Lila looks around a little and leans forward, lowering her voice. “Have you seen James Lloyd lately? Holy shit! He’s in my math class and he really is hot as hell.”
“Boyfriend,” Maddie reminds her with a sigh. “Point is, Megs, we don’t want you to feel left out.”
“Have I ever said I feel left out?” I look at them both.
“Well, no…”
“But I feel like you are,” Lila presses. “And I don’t want you to be. Y’know, in the name of friendship and female loyalty everywhere, it really is in your best interests to let me set you up with some hot guy.”
“In my best interests, or yours?” I raise an eyebrow.
“Yours, definitely yours.”
“And what if I say no?”
“Oh, that doesn’t matter.”
“You haven’t.”
“She has.” Maddie nods her head.
“You have a date tomorrow night to Mark’s party.” Lila grins.