35
Brutal Honesty
‘TJ, WE ARE NOT LISTENING TO THAT SHIT ALL night,’ Jared threatened, setting a speaker from the entertainment room on the patio.
‘We’ll let the girls decide,’ TJ stated. ‘And where are they? Thought you’d show up together.’
‘They’re on their way. And you’re going to be outnumbered, TJ,’ I told him. ‘Meg’s the only one who’s going to be on your side.’
‘Sara –’
‘Has a wall of electric guitars,’ Jared finished.
‘Whatever. We’ll put your music on when they get here,’ TJ conceded reluctantly.
‘Welcome, ladies.’ I could hear Brent in the kitchen, greeting the girls in his ineffectively flirtatious tone. ‘Hope you’re ready for margaritas and poker.’
‘Which is now.’ Jared smirked at TJ, and the music instantly changed.
The screen on the deck slid open, and Brent led the girls down to the patio, carrying two pitchers. I was pushing in chairs around the poker table when Emma came into view. I knew I should keep my distance. But it was virtually impossible. I was drawn to her, needing to be near her, whether it was the right thing or not.
‘Hi,’ I said with a grin when she reached the bottom step.
‘Hi.’ She smiled brightly.
‘I still think we should play strip poker,’ Brent announced, setting a pitcher of margaritas on each table.
‘I like that idea!’ Serena declared. Emma looked at both of them like they were crazy. ‘What, Em?! Regular poker can be so boring if you suck. This could make it more interesting.’
‘I’ve told you how much I love you, right?’ Brent told Serena, putting his arm around her shoulder. Then he eyed James staring him down, and moved away. ‘Sorry, man.’
‘You actually want to play strip poker?’ I asked, waiting for James to react. He didn’t.
‘Serena has no objection to walking around nude,’ Meg offered as an explanation.
‘Strip poker?’ Jared questioned, not exactly sold on the idea either.
‘With a twist,’ Serena suddenly added.
‘We play five-card draw. You can replace all of your cards except for one, then everyone lays them down, and whoever wins chooses two people. These people can elect to remove an article of clothing or answer a difficult question,’ James suddenly explained.
‘You’re in on this?’ I blurted.
‘Serena brought it up, and I suggested a few rule changes so there’s an option to keep clothes on,’ he said nonchalantly. ‘Not exactly stoked about having my girl naked in front of these guys, no matter how comfortable she is in her skin. And another rule: if you touch a girl, I break your face.’ He stared at Brent, whose eager smile deflated.
‘Sure, why not.’ Emma and Jared both didn’t look very happy with Sara agreeing to this. ‘Don’t worry. I’m good at poker, remember?’ Sara assured Jared.
‘You’d better be prepared to be very honest tonight,’ Jared said. Sara kissed him on the cheek and smiled.
‘I told you they were up to something,’ Emma murmured under her breath.
‘We don’t have to play,’ I offered.
‘It’s okay,’ she assured me. ‘Everyone seems to want to do it, so why not? I can answer questions, I guess.’
The honesty part was probably going to be harder for Emma than taking off her clothes.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yeah, it’ll be fine,’ she responded without conviction.
‘TJ!’ Two girls squealed from the top step.
‘Hey!’ TJ hollered back. ‘Perfect timing. We’re about to play a new game. It’s a version of strip poker, with truth or dare thrown in.’
‘Strip or truth,’ Nate presented.
‘Ooh, sounds fun!’ the girl with the high ponytail exclaimed with way too much excitement.
‘See, they do sell shorts that short,’ Emma mumbled next to me.
‘They looked better on you,’ I said automatically. She smacked my arm and walked away.
‘Who are those girls?’ Sara asked Meg as I approached them by the poker tables.
‘I don’t know. Friends of TJ’s, I guess,’ Meg said. ‘Do we still want to do this?’
‘If this is your idea of making things somehow better between us, then it sucks,’ I interjected.
‘It’s just a game,’ Sara said, trying to convince me. ‘It won’t be some tortured confess-your-sins thing, I promise.’
People began to sit while TJ made the introductions. ‘This is Darcy and Kim. Darcy and Kim, this is … everyone.’
‘Hi,’ they waved in unison, flanking TJ.
‘Would it be okay if we shut off the lights?’ Emma requested.
Nate shut off the patio and pool lights, plunging us into the dark of the hills until he lit a couple of candles. This allowed everyone’s faces to be seen, only giving a hint to what lay below the shoulders.
‘Better?’ Sara asked. ‘Are you going to play?’
I bit my lip, and nodded. But I wasn’t sure what was going to be more torturous, seeing Evan without a shirt, or having to be completely honest about humiliating moments in my life.
‘Will you just answer questions with me?’ I leaned over and asked Evan, who was seated beside me.
He grinned. ‘Yeah, I can do that.’
I was trying to counter the girls’ not-so-subtle attempts to interfere with what was happening between Evan and me. As much as it was comforting that the girls cared and wanted me to be happy, they really had no idea just how complicated things were.
‘A five-articles-of-clothing limit, and we have to alternate seats, boy/girl,’ Serena explained.
‘But I only have on one,’ the blonde in the yellow dress pouted.
Sara opened her mouth to say something, and from the glint in her eyes, it wasn’t to offer her more clothes. TJ interrupted her assault with, ‘You can count shoes and earrings, Kim.’
‘Oh, good idea. Thanks, TJ!’
Emma covered her mouth, trying to stifle a laugh.
Nate shuffled two decks together, and I noticed Emma bouncing her leg anxiously, biting at her lip.
‘Here, this will help.’ Brent handed her a margarita, pulling in his chair so it about touched hers. Emma hesitated, then took a large gulp.
I shot Brent a warning glance, and he scooted his chair a few inches towards Kim.
TJ’s ‘friends’ seemed more interested in taking off their clothes than answering questions, so in no time, they were stripped down and in the pool, with TJ and Brent in quick pursuit. So far, the questions hadn’t been horribly invasive, but then again, I hadn’t been asked any either.
Then, with Serena’s first win, she asked, ‘Emma and Evan, strip or truth?’
I braced myself. ‘Truth.’
‘Truth,’ Evan concurred.
‘What was your favourite high-school moment?’ Serena asked, eyeing the two of us.
She was really doing this to me, wasn’t she?
‘That’s not a very revealing question,’ Darcy complained.
‘Hey! No feedback from the naked losers in the pool!’ Sara hollered.
I knew what she was doing, trying to get me to recall a moment with Evan, but I wasn’t going to give in to her ploy. ‘The night of my first football game. I stayed at Sara’s, and she performed one of her notorious makeovers. I even let her cut my hair.’
‘You did that?’ Evan said to Sara.
‘Yes, I did,’ Sara said proudly.
‘Nice.’ Evan nodded, his eyes distant in remembrance. ‘The night pink became my favourite colour.’
I sat very still, trying hard not to react. Sara smiled, her eyes twinkling. ‘My fault.’
Evan laughed lightly.
I needed to cool my cheeks with the frozen drink. Evan was playing right into their meddling. ‘What are you doing?’ I pleaded. His eyes flickered in confusion.
‘Evan?’ Serena prompted, pulling him away from trying to read my expression. ‘What was yours?’
‘My favourite moment wasn’t actually at school. It was the night of SATs.’ Before I could elaborate, Emma started coughing loudly. When she excused herself from the table, I went after her.
As soon as I got near enough, her coughs ceased.
‘Evan, seriously, what are you doing?’
‘What? You said to answer questions.’
‘But you don’t have to be so honest,’ she said in a yelling whisper.
‘Emma, they’ll have no idea what I’m talking about. Besides, I think honesty might do us some good right now,’ I pointed out. ‘What do we have to lose?’
She stared at me in shock, unable to believe I’d just said that. I was wondering where it came from myself.
‘You want honesty?’ she challenged. She walked over to the table, gripped the back of her chair and announced, ‘I want to retract my answer.’
‘I knew I wasn’t your favourite high-school moment.’ Sara grinned knowingly.
‘I was in the Art room, and Evan had just returned from San Francisco and –’
‘That’s all they need to know,’ I interrupted, suddenly understanding her aversion to too much honesty.
‘I get it,’ I whispered as we sat back down.
‘Thought you would,’ she teased.
‘Okay, then,’ Jared intercepted. ‘Whose turn to deal?’
‘I’ll deal,’ I said.
Meg won the next hand and chose Evan and Jared. Jared took off his shirt, and Evan opted to answer a question. The way the questions were going, I thought I’d rather deal with him taking off his shirt.
‘If you had to choose between Jared and Emma, who would you choose?’
Evan stared at her in disbelief with his mouth open. ‘What kind of question is that?’
‘A difficult one – that’s the point.’
Evan stalled, flipping his eyes between me and Jared. Every time he opened his mouth, nothing came out.
‘Meg, that’s an impossible question,’ Sara accused, trying to take the pressure off Evan.
Jared was struck with the conflict that Evan was having about the same time I was, and we stared at him in amazement.
‘It’s your brother, right?’ I prodded, my voice low. ‘It’s okay, Evan.’
But he continued to struggle with the answer.
‘Well, it’s a good thing we aren’t trapped in a fire.’ Jared laughed. ‘We’d both be done for if Evan was standing outside, deciding who to go in after.’
‘Forget that one, Evan,’ Meg said, her eyes smiling. ‘We don’t want you to give yourself an aneurysm deciding. How about this – what was your first impression of Emma?’
‘Meg!’ I yelped. She grinned.
Serena leaned in closer, awaiting his answer. I flipped the card that was in front of me over on the table, unable to make eye contact with anyone.
‘More margarita?’ Nate offered, holding out a fresh pitcher to top off my glass.
‘Thanks,’ I accepted, starting to feel the effects of the first two glasses, but not enough to ease the anxiety in my stomach.
‘The first time she spoke to me, she told me off,’ Evan said.
‘I didn’t tell you off,’ I defended myself.
‘Yes, you did,’ Sara said, followed by laughs from the spectators. ‘It was the first time the class had ever heard you argue with anyone. It was crazy.’ She looked to Evan and said, ‘Sorry. Go ahead.’
‘She had me from the beginning. Her tenacity intrigued me, and I wanted to know everything about her,’ Evan said. ‘Still do,’ he added under his breath so only I could hear him. I took a sip from my glass.
Meg won the next round too, still completely clothed.
‘What’s something you know about Sara that no one else knows?’ she asked Jared, who was down to his shorts.
‘She has a birthmark on her inner thigh,’ Jared blurted without hesitating. Sara shrugged.
‘Sara, what’s one thing about Emma that no one else knows?’
Sara studied Emma, contemplating all the secrets she knew as Emma’s cheeks turned red in anticipation.
‘In seventh grade, right after she moved to Weslyn, she accidentally caught Ms Flynn’s sweater on fire when we were working in the bio lab for extra credit after school.’ Emma sank in her chair, shielding her eyes in embarrassment. ‘She put it out before Ms Flynn returned to the classroom. The best part was that she hung the sweater on the back of her chair like nothing happened, and the next day Ms Flynn wore it in class with a burn hole on the back.’
Jared laughed. ‘How the hell did you catch her sweater on fire?’
‘She was trying to show me how to burn off lint balls, and it was pretty cool at first, then it just started burning.’ Sara giggled.
‘Yeah. That happened,’ Emma admitted, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye.
‘It made me laugh so hard,’ Sara recalled, ‘I knew I had to be friends with her after that.’
‘Wow,’ I said with a grin. Emma bit on her lip.
We continued playing, and I won the next hand, selecting Meg and Sara, who nonchalantly removed their shorts. As retribution, Jared selected Emma and Serena when he won his next hand. When Serena removed her shorts, revealing the length of her ivory legs, James protectively set his hand on her pale thigh.
‘Truth,’ I selected, relieved that Jared was doing the asking.
‘If you could get away with one illegal thing, what would it be?’ he asked playfully.
In a flash, all I could see was blood, and the disfigured face lying motionless on the floor. I felt the blood rushing from my face. Meg looked at me curiously. I rubbed my damp palms on the skirt of my dress.
A cold sweat broke out along my spine. I pushed away from the table and walked away without saying a word.
‘Emma!’ Sara called after me.
I didn’t look back. I needed to shut down the rush of images. Jonathan punching the guy over and over again. The blood smeared on the floor when he picked him up. My hands clutching the steering wheel as Jonathan wiped the car of fingerprints. It was the one secret that I’d been able to keep closed off, locked in the deepest bowels of repression – only to be released by one harmless question.
‘Emma!’ Sara yelled again, running to catch up as I reached the sidewalk. ‘What was that about? What’s wrong?’
I couldn’t. I shook my head and kept walking, shutting everything out.
‘Emma, stop,’ she requested desperately. ‘Please. Please tell me what happened?’ She reached for my arm, and I spun around. Sara flinched when she saw the hardened look on my face. ‘Please tell me what happened?’
I caught a glimpse of Evan watching us from the sidewalk.
‘I’m walking back to the house,’ I said in a rush, turning away. ‘I’m not playing any more.’
‘Okay,’ she answered. ‘Can I come with you?’
‘If you want. But I’m not talking about it,’ I told her firmly.
‘All right,’ Sara agreed. She hollered to Evan, ‘Emma and I are walking back.’
He nodded but remained on the sidewalk, watching after us. I kept walking, and Sara accompanied me in silence.
Just when I thought there was a chance to shed myself of all my horrible choices, I was painfully reminded of the one that I could never outrun.