My Skylar

Chapter 21
MITCH
Hell yes, I wanna come in.
I nodded and followed her across the street and up the few steps to her door.
“Thank you for inviting me in,” I said, wiping my feet on the autumn leaves that were etched on her welcome mat.
Skylar’s home was warm and welcoming. Walking in there had felt like a small reprieve from hell for a quick glimpse into heaven. There was simply no place else in the world I’d rather have been.
Still in shock that she even asked me inside, I followed her into the bright white and marble kitchen. She immediately began pouring water into a stainless steel kettle. “I’ll make some tea. You look like you could use it.”
Spiked with Jack Daniels would be ideal, but I’ll take it.
“Thanks,” I said as I lowered by hood.
My eyes wandered over to the refrigerator where a list written on a sticky note had the words “Yeah…f*ck you” written over it in red Sharpie. What was that all about?
She interrupted my thoughts. “How long were you out there anyway?”
“About an hour…or more.”
She didn’t need to pry any further about what I was doing out there because at this point, it was painfully obvious.
She looked back at me as she reached into her cupboard for cups. “Notice anything interesting?”
“Huh?”
“While you were out there?”
I chuckled. “You still bite your lower lip when you’re concentrating on something.”
“And?”
“You smile to yourself for a long time after you laugh at the television.”
“Anything else?”
“Your roof could use an update.”
“Wow…call 1-800-Stalker, get free home improvement advice.” When she cracked a small smile, I returned it and started to calm down.
The teapot whistled, and she went to the stove to pour the steaming water into two ceramic cups. She added sugar and milk without asking because she knew how I liked it. She placed the cup on a saucer and as she handed it to me, it shook from her trembling hand. Even though she had been joking around, I was clearly making her nervous. My chest filled with hope because that only confirmed that I still had an effect on her.
My hand intentionally lingered on hers for a few seconds as she handed me the tea. “Thank you.” Then, the reflection of something glimmering caught my eyes, which were now glued to the large diamond on her left ring finger. My entire body tensed, and my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest.
F*ck. Me. She was engaged.
She noticed me looking down at it, and then our eyes met.
After a long moment of silence, she broke the ice. “So, what have you been up to the past five years, Mitch? Whoa…déjà vu. Haven’t I asked you that before?”
“Yes. Except this time you’re the one that disappeared.”
Her smile faded, and it was clear I had touched a nerve. She looked down. “I did, didn’t I? I’m sorry. I just couldn’t—”
“Please…don’t.” My tone was harsher than intended. I immediately lowered my voice. “You don’t owe me an apology. I understand exactly why you left. I’m just sorry I put you in a position where you felt you had to run away from home. Don’t ever blame yourself for my mistakes. Ever. What happened was all my fault, Skylar.”
She closed her eyes and let out a long, seemingly endless breath.
I just wanted to f*cking hold her.
“My being here is upsetting you. Do you want me to leave?”
“No. I knew I’d have to face you sooner or later. I just wasn’t prepared for it to be tonight.”
“I know. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I didn’t mean to—”
“Get caught?”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah.”
“You’re not a very good stalker. You should keep your day job.”
“Well, what kind of victim are you, inviting me in for Sleepytime tea?”
Every time our eyes met, you could practically feel the static in the air. It pleased me to no end that despite all that had happened, our connection was still as strong as ever.
The heat in her house was blasting, and I was burning up. “Do you mind if I take off my jacket?”
“Sure.”
Her eyes wandered down to my chest as soon as I removed it. At least my workout addiction was paying off. I did it to burn off steam, but if Skylar liked what she saw, then that was a huge bonus.
She swallowed. “You look good.”
“So do you…amazing, actually.” Did she ever. She had filled out in all the right places. She was still petite, just a little curvier than I remembered. She wasn’t wearing a bra under her white cotton shirt, probably because she wasn’t expecting guests. So, I had to force my eyes upward. Now was not the time to get caught staring at her tits. She already outed me as a “stalker,” a not so distant cousin to “perv.” My jaw tightened when it hit me that her beautiful body belonged to another man now. Him. That was impossible to accept. Adrenaline pumped through me. I needed to get her back. I didn’t care if it took me forever.
The first step was getting the hard part out of the way.
I put my tea on the counter and looked deeply into her eyes. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but please let me tell you everything.”
She looked away and then quickly nodded her head. “Okay.” She wrapped her arms around herself. Whatever light mood existed minutes ago was gone. “It’s like I’ve been in a coma for five years, and I’m just waking up, Mitch. It still feels like it was just yesterday.”
It took everything in me not to reach for her. I was dying to take her in my arms, to tell her how sorry I was for all of the pain my actions had caused, but I knew I needed to keep my distance.
“I’ll only tell you what you want to know. Davey told me about your little agreement, that you didn’t want him to tell you anything unless you asked. So, I want you to direct this conversation. Ask me anything, okay? Don’t be afraid.”
“Let’s go in the living room.”
I followed her into the room that had been the backdrop of my window into her world these past couple of months. It felt strange to be sitting on the same cream-colored sofa I used to stare at from my car. It was like walking into my favorite television show.
She sat on the farthest end of the couch from me. A picture of Skylar and him standing in front of the Washington monument taunted me from the end table.
“You have a little boy…”
“Yes. His name is Henry.”
A teardrop fell from her eye almost instantly after I said his name. I guess that made it real for her. I wished she could have known him. She would have felt differently. He was my world now.
She sniffled. “He’s four?”
“Yes.”
Her mouth quivered. “Is she around? Are you with her?”
“With Charisma?” I couldn’t believe she would even think that. My tone was shrill. “Of course, not…after what she did to you…to us? You think I would get involved with that crazy bitch?” That question had angered me, and I suddenly realized why she was so scared to find out information about me. She actually thought there was a chance Charisma was a part of my life. That broke my heart. I needed to clarify this real fast. “The only good thing that woman ever did was give birth to my son. Other than that, she’s garbage as far as I’m concerned. Actually…she did one other good thing. She took off.”
“What?”
“I have full custody.”
“I don’t understand. How could she do that?”
“I need to tell you the whole story. Can I?”
Clutching the pink blanket, she nodded and settled into her seat.
I took a deep breath and geared myself up. “After you left, my grades were in the toilet, and I lost my scholarship because it was contingent on keeping up a certain GPA every semester. One strike, you’re out. So, I moved home. Charisma stayed back at Wellesley the whole time she was pregnant. I still didn’t know at that point if the baby was even mine. I was in a really rough place. The following summer, he was born in Manhattan. She put my name on the certificate as the father. A DNA test later confirmed it. I still don’t understand how it happened since I was never with her without protection. Anyway, she tried one last time to convince me to give her a chance. She tried to lie to me about what happened between you and her and tried to make it seem like she didn’t have this whole thing planned out. But I knew better. You have to know, I never once considered being with her, Skylar…not even for a split second.”
She let out a sigh of relief but said nothing.
I continued, “That summer, I got a job working in construction and would travel to New York on weekends to see Henry. She told me she was planning on going back to Wellesley to finish her last year that fall. When I asked who would be taking care of the baby, she told me her parents were going to hire someone. It didn’t feel right. I told her I wanted to take my son to live with me while she was in school. My mother offered to stay home and watch him while I worked. Charisma actually agreed to it. She saw him maybe three times that school year. I didn’t care because I didn’t want her bad energy around him. After she graduated, she took a job in New York and told me she was gonna fight for full custody. She took me to court, and the judge ruled that she could have him during the week, and I’d get him on weekends. I’m pretty sure hired strangers were taking care of him during those weeks.”
“I don’t get it. How did she end up agreeing to your getting full custody?”
“When Henry turned two, things changed. We started to notice that he didn’t have the same kind of eye contact as other kids, and he wasn’t using any words. He wasn’t pointing to things. He stopped sleeping through the night and was having a lot of tantrums where he’d be inconsolable. Even with the little time she spent with him, she couldn’t handle him anymore. She was too self-centered to deal with it. Her new boyfriend was from Europe and wanted her to travel. Let’s just say, Henry wouldn’t do well on a Transatlantic flight. She started letting me have him more often. Eventually, I asked for full custody, and she just…gave it to me. Skylar, she didn’t even put up a fight.”
“I just…wow. I can’t believe that.”
“A year ago, she moved to London with the boyfriend. She’s seen her son one time since then. So, anyway…f*ck her. Around the time she moved, I got him in to see a neurologist. They diagnosed him with something called pervasive developmental disorder, but it’s since been upgraded to autism.”
“Henry still can’t talk?”
I offered a slight smile, unable to contain my relief that she used my son’s name. I didn’t want her to view him in a negative light because of how he came into the world. He didn’t deserve that. “No. He tries to sound out some words, but he’s non-verbal. It’s not easy. My mother has been a huge help. We finally got him on this waiting list for state-funded therapy, but it hasn’t started up yet. Thank God my job has good benefits to cover all these doctor appointments.”
“You’re still working in construction?”
“Yeah, but I manage the company now, too. I’m also a part owner. So, it’s a mix of site work and office stuff. It’s a good gig. Where are you working?”
“I’m actually trying to start my own interior design business. I only have a couple of private clients right now. So, business is slow, but self-promotion is the full-time job. I’m designing a website myself at the moment.”
“That’s really cool. That was always what you said you wanted to do…interior design.”
She changed the subject back to Henry. “Do you have a picture of him?”
“As a matter of fact, I do.” I took out my phone and scrolled through, pulling up a photo of Henry in the bathtub smiling with suds all over his head. “He loves the water.”
She covered her mouth with her hand, and her eyes became watery again as she took the phone from me. I didn’t ask what she was thinking because it felt like a private moment. I had to remind myself she was seeing him for the first time. As she continued to gaze at the image, I took the opportunity to gaze at her. With every passing second, I wondered how the hell I was going to walk out of here tonight. I couldn’t even seem to move from this couch.
I didn’t want to ask, but I had to know what I was up against. “Tell me about this guy you’re with. Where is he tonight?”
“Kevin.”
Kevin.
“You’re really going to marry him?”
“He asked me. I said yes.”
“But is there a date set?”
“No.”
Thank f*ck. I think I just got hard.
“You never said where he was.”
“He goes away for a few days to Virginia twice a month.”
That explained why sometimes he wasn’t home.
“Are you happy?”
She didn’t respond.
“This house is a f*cking mess, Sky.”
“What the hell was that?” I asked.
“You don’t know who that is?”
“Seamus? He’s still alive?”
She got up from the couch, went upstairs and returned with the bird propped on her finger. She handed him to me.
“Hey, little guy. Remember me?”
He flapped his wings in excitement. “This house is a f*cking mess, Sky.”
“Why is he saying that?”
“He overheard Kevin and me arguing one night. That was the phrase that stuck. You know how unpredictable he can be.”
Kevin sounds like a real winner.
I looked Seamus in the eye. Over the past five years, this bird has seen everything I wasn’t able to. He was being really friendly to me, which was uncharacteristic. I liked to think he was sending me a message. At least that was what I thought until he sprayed me with lime green shit droplets. “Aw, man! You haven’t changed one bit!”
Skylar couldn’t contain her laughter. “You look like you got slimed at the Kids Choice Awards.”
“What have you been giving him to eat? Goddamn.”
She took Seamus. “I’ll bring him back to his cage and get you a clean shirt.”
She ran upstairs and returned with a plain white t-shirt, throwing it to me. “Here. He won’t miss this.”
“Are you sure?”
She was still laughing. “It’s fine.”
As I lifted off my soiled shirt, I watched closely to gauge her reaction.
“Whoa. When did you get all those?”
Her eyes zoned in on the three tattoos on my chest, specifically the one of her name scrawled across the top.
“Does that make you uncomfortable?”
“No.”
I pointed to the name tattoo. “This one was done right after you left. I got most of them during the time I’d moved back home before Henry was born. It became like an addiction. I was trying to find a way to express how lost I was without you—still am in many ways. The only difference is now I have my son to take my mind off it.”
She slowly walked toward me and ran her fingertips from left to right across the letters that spelled out SKYLAR. She placed her hand over my heart that was beating out of control. She kept her hand there as she looked down at the words spread across my abdomen.
To be continued…because true love never ends.
Then, she placed her hand on my inner forearm where it said, Time can’t heal wounds that cut through your heart.
She looked up at me. “They’re beautiful.”
“So are you.”
Fighting the urge to grab her and kiss her senseless, I slipped the clean garment over my head. As she continued to look up at me, I felt it. Her heart still belonged to me. I didn’t want to live without her anymore, but it would be a long road to getting her back. It would be worth it. I just had to be patient and not rush things. I needed to start by being her friend again. I would rebuild what we had from the ground up.
In that moment, I vowed that no matter what it took, the shirt wouldn’t be the only thing I’d be stealing from him.