My Skylar

Chapter 25
MITCH
It felt too good to be true. As I threw my clothes into the suitcase, I still couldn’t believe that Skylar agreed to go away with me. It would only be five days, but I would make the most of every last second.
The logistical planning went into effect from the moment she said yes. That night, I literally put my cigar out and immediately went searching for beach rentals on the Internet. I had a hard-on the entire time just thinking about being alone with her away from here. I was going to need to control myself, or I’d blow it.
With such late notice, properties were either unavailable or expensive. I eventually contacted a realtor the following week, and she found me the perfect place on Sandbridge Beach that cost an arm and a leg. The second I saw the photos of the inside, though, I knew it was the one. It didn’t matter how much it cost at that point.
***
I got to Virginia Beach a day before she did. I had booked her a plane ticket but decided to drive down myself.
Skylar was set to arrive at the work site any minute. A text came in from her when the plane landed. She had rented a car at the airport and went straight to a home improvement store to pick out paint. I’d already given her a copy of the floor plan, so we weren’t wasting time.
The keys to the beach house were burning a hole in my pocket. I’d take her there tonight after our work ended for the day. I couldn’t wait to see her reaction.
The weather was perfect, so we kept the front door to the property open while we worked to let the balmy, dry breeze in. The house smelled like sawdust and primer, so it was good to air it out. My guys had made great progress before I arrived, and everything was on target to be completed by the end of the week.
A Steely Dan song played on an old boom box that was splattered with white paint. There were empty beer bottles everywhere. Technically, we weren’t supposed to be drinking on the job, but I let it slide this time. This job couldn’t have been more different from all previous ones. Case in point: every head in the place turned toward the doorway when Skylar walked in. She waved awkwardly when she realized the guys were all checking her out.
She wore a short, gray skirt and a sleeveless blouse that had a bow in the front that begged to be untied. She looked very business-like, which was a huge turn-on. That get-up was like a grown-up version of the Catholic school uniform.
I introduced her to all the guys and tried to ignore the once-overs they gave her as she shook their hands. What I did make sure to catch was the once-over she gave me. I was wearing beige cargo pants and no shirt. I couldn’t really tell what Skylar was thinking lately when it came to everything else. The one thing I did know: she was as physically attracted to me as I was to her.
She flinched when I put my hand on the small of her back and led her into the first completed room. “You made it in good time.” I reluctantly slid my hand slowly off of her.
“Yeah. I was actually able to find some neutral paint colors in the bargain mistake section, so that will free up some money for other things.”
I hadn’t realized how obvious my staring was until she interrupted it.
“Did you hear what I said?”
“Yeah. Paint, right?”
“Yes. We should be all set. I put the gallons out front whenever you’re ready for them. I marked each can with a label indicating which room it’s for.”
“You’re so organized. You want a full time job when we get back?” I joked.
“And what would that be?”
I wiggled my eyebrows. “You can be my personal assistant.”
She looked down at my hands that were covered in primer. “And what exactly would that entail?”
“It requires full-time residency, actually.”
“Oh…in your house?”
“Yeah.”
“I see. What else?”
“There’s sort of a dress code.”
“Let me guess…a lack of dress?” She laughed.
I f*cking loved flirting with her.
I hadn’t intended for this conversation to veer in the direction it had, but this was a good sign. It surprised me that she was playing along…until she cut it short.
“I should head to the fabric store.”
“Hey. You know I’m playing around with you. I promise to be good this trip.”
She smiled. “I hear you.”
I leaned against the doorway and as she walked away, I said, “Unless you tell me you want me to be bad. I’d be up for that, too.”
She turned around briefly, her face flushed. “Goodbye, Mitch.”
Getting through the next fifteen minutes without killing someone seemed like an impossible task because all of the guys wouldn’t shut up about how hot she was. They didn’t know anything about our past, although they should have put two and two together based on the massive tattoo of her name on my chest. Getting arrested for assaulting an employee was not on my list of things to do while here, so I gritted my teeth and controlled my fists as best as I could.
It really did impress me how fast Skylar operated that first day. She decided she’d make all the curtains herself to stay within budget, borrowing a sewing machine from the wife of one of the local volunteers. She came back that afternoon with a massive amount of material and planned to spend the entire day tomorrow sewing at the beach house. She also visited a local consignment shop and scored some artwork for next to nothing.
That night, we worked later than I had hoped in order to stay on deadline, but it would be the only late work night. By the time 10:00 rolled around, I was exhausted but exhilarated, knowing she’d be following me to the beach house. I threw my navy hoodie over my bare chest.
She was hanging a couple of pictures on the wall of a room that had been fully painted. Her hair, which was perfectly coiffed earlier in the day, now fell loose and messy. Sexy. It was how I’d imagined it would look after sex. F*ck. I needed to get that thought out of my head before I got hard.
“Ready to go?” I asked.
Too late. Hard.
She stepped down from the stool. “Sure.”
Skylar followed me in her car. When I pulled up to the rental, my palms got sweaty because the place was a shitload nicer than expected. She would have a tough time believing that this was the house HM Construction paid for. Every red cent had come out of my own money.
We parked next to each other on the gravel driveway and got out.
She slammed the car door. The ocean air blew her hair around in wispy strands. She spit one out of her mouth. “What is this?”
“What do you think?”
“What’s going on?”
I must have looked guilty as shit. “What?”
“This house is—”
“Let’s go in.”
I reached into my pocket for the key and opened the front door.
Her jaw dropped. “Okay…this is like that show Cribs on MTV minus the ten cars out front. Exactly how much money did your company spend on this place?”
“I shut the door. We got a good deal. Don’t worry about it.”
She dropped her bag lazily and walked around in awe. “This kitchen is way better than mine at home.” She ran her fingertips along the granite of the countertop. “I’m gonna make a nice meal for us tomorrow night.”
F*ck. Yes.
“That sounds great.”
She covered her mouth and walked in silence over to the one thing I had been waiting for her to notice. She sat down on it. I walked over and joined her on the plush cushion. She turned to me. “I can’t believe you did this.”
“Did what?”
“You picked this place out and paid for it, didn’t you?”
I sighed. “I did.”
“Why?”
Our faces were just inches apart. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen one day from the next with you, and I hate not being able to control that. I just wanted to have some time with you in the best possible place I could imagine. When you were sick, I never forgot where you told me your happy place would be: a reading nook overlooking the ocean. When I saw online that this house had one, I didn’t give a shit what it cost. I knew I had to get this one for you.”
She lay back into the wall, kicked her feet up onto my lap and closed her eyes. She opened them and looked out at the waves crashing in the distance. “I don’t know what to say. I feel like I don’t deserve this.”
“This is for me, too.” I looked out the window. “Do you remember where my happy place was?”
She nodded. “Anywhere I am.”
I lightly squeezed her shin. “I just want to be with you even if it’s just for a few days. No other expectations, okay? Please don’t worry about that. I want you to have a good time.”
“Was any part of this trip really about the job?”
I couldn’t lie to her. “What do you want me to say?”
“Where are you staying?”
“The Holiday Inn down the street.”
She looked conflicted. “I know there’s plenty of room, but I can’t offer you to stay.”
“I understand, believe me. I would never expect that.”
“This is wrong, Mitch. This whole thing: my lying to Kevin, my taking this offer when I knew deep down it was more than work.”
“Don’t you dare feel guilty, Skylar. After everything we’ve been through, we deserve this break even if it’s nothing more than that.”
“I just wanted to spend time with you, too. I don’t know what it all means.”
It pained me to have to lift her leg off of me and stand up. “Tell you what, it’s been a long day. I’m going to head back to the hotel and let you get some rest. Tomorrow, we’ll call it quits with work early, do dinner and enjoy the beach. Don’t overthink this. We only live once. If we want to spend time together, that’s not a sin. Nobody’s getting hurt by that.”
She stood up. Her blouse was wrinkled and halfway untucked. She was a beautiful mess.
I licked my lips, wanting to kiss her so badly. “Make sure you lock up tonight.”
“I appreciate all of the effort you put into this. I hope I didn’t come across as ungrateful.” She walked a few steps toward me. “I never thought I’d actually get to visit my happy place. Thank you for giving that to me.”
If I didn’t walk away now, I’d never leave. I headed straight for the door. Then, I turned to look at her one last time. “Thank you for giving me mine.”
***
The next day seemed to drag at work even though we’d gotten a lot done. All of the rooms were now drywalled and painted. Skylar had spent the entire day shopping for décor or at the beach house sewing drapes. I missed her. I kept checking my watch to see how close it was to 3:00.
I got to my hotel at 3:15 and took a quick shower. As the hot water beat down on me, my thoughts turned anxious. I only had four more nights with her. This trip was my chance to get her to see that we belonged together. But I promised her there were no expectations, and I didn’t plan to pressure her. I just wanted us to get closer organically, but there just wasn’t enough time.
Skylar was expecting me at 4:00. She was making dinner, and we were going to take a walk on the beach at some point. I was giddy with excitement and a need to see her, to smell her, to touch her even if it were just a brush of her hand.
I put on a black button down shirt and some dark jeans. I sprayed on cologne and slicked my hair back with gel.
When I arrived at the rental, she opened the door, and my heart immediately started beating out of control. She looked good enough to eat in a tiny peach-colored dress. I wanted to wrap her in her my arms but instead tightened my fists and said, “You look nice.”
“Thanks. So do you.”
I walked toward the kitchen. “What is that I smell?”
“It’s Chicken Cacciatore. I remembered you used to like it when your mother made it. I hope this is just as good.”
“If you made it, I’m sure I’ll love it.”
“Are you hungry now?”
My eyes drifted down to her mouth and then her neck. “I’m starving.” I wondered if she could tell I wasn’t referring to the food.
Her heels clicked against the tile floor as she walked over to a bottle of red wine on the counter, opened it and poured it into two stemless glasses. “Cabernet okay?”
“Love it. Thanks,” I said, taking the glass from her and making sure to skim the skin of her hand. I took a sip. “Mmm.”
“You want to take these up to the deck?”
“Yeah, I’m dying to get up there to see that view.”
She smiled and nudged her head to follow her. “Come on.”
Two white Adirondack chairs sat on the gray wooden deck that overlooked Sandbridge Beach. It was like they were made for the two of us to sit in. We sat down and quietly sipped our wine. We gazed out at the rolling waves and listened to the sound of the seagulls. I stole glances at her beautiful side profile.
She was the first to speak. “So, I say we sit out here for about ten minutes, have dinner downstairs, then take that beach walk when the sun is setting.”
“Perfect.”
Nothing could be more perfect than this.
And it was, until reality rang when we got downstairs. She picked up her cell phone. I knew by the tone of her voice that it was him. I walked over to the window, so she wouldn’t be uncomfortable. I listened to every word and stared out into the ocean. The reminder that she was engaged to someone else took my appetite away and slapped me out of the fantasy I’d been living out just a moment ago.
“Yeah. Everything’s going great. It’s beautiful here. Saturday. My flight gets in at four-thirty.”
My jaw tightened just thinking about leaving Saturday. I polished off my wine.
“Did you remember to buy Seamus’ food? Good. Okay. Me, too. Bye.”
Me, too.
I wondered if he had told her he loved her. Did she not say it back to avoid hurting my feelings or because she didn’t really love him?
She walked over to me. A new tension replaced the relaxed atmosphere of five minutes ago. “That was Kevin.”
“You should have given him my regards.”
“Mitch…”
“Oh, that’s right. ‘He’d go ballistic.’” I walked over the counter, refilling my empty glass. “Is that because he’d know he has a reason to worry?”
She didn’t say anything, and I regretted putting her in that position.
I put my glass on the counter and rubbed my eyes in frustration. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I understand. Let’s just try to have a nice dinner, okay?”
“I would love that.”
We fell into an easy conversation while devouring the meal she made: Chicken Cacciatore with a side of lemon garlic Brussels sprouts.
“This is by far the best Cacciatore I’ve ever had.”
“Really? You’re just saying that.”
“I don’t have any reason to lie.”
“You don’t, huh?”
My lips slowly spread into a smile. “Maybe I do, but I didn’t have to. It was damn good.”
“Well, thank you.”
She wiped her mouth. “There’s dessert, too, but I think we should take a walk on the beach before it gets dark.”
“Agreed. The sun just started to set.”
We took our shoes off and walked down to the shore. The urge to grab her hand was overpowering, but I restrained myself. I was pretty sure she’d let me, but I’d only want more, so it was best if I didn’t touch her for any great length of time.
I looked down at Skylar’s tiny feet, her red painted toes kicking the sand. I wanted to nibble on them along with every other part of her body. She looked so content as she walked quietly alongside me. It made me think of the last time I was on a beach with her. “Being here reminds me of the summer before I went to college.”
“Yeah, we went to the beach a lot that summer. Remember when Davey shaved his chest hair into the shape of a bikini top?”
I burst into laughter. “How could I forget? Then, there was that time right before he met Zena. He was checking out that girl sunbathing on her stomach only to find it was a guy with long hair and a beard when the person finally flipped around.”
She shook her head. “Davey always got himself into the funniest situations. I wish I could remember them all.”
We walked and reminisced until we made our way back inside the beach house. We sat down on opposite sides of the white couch in the living room.
My mind was still moonlighting in the past. “You know what I remember most about that summer?”
“What?”
“Being so happy that you were home from Brooklyn and in remission. That and kissing the shit out of you every chance I got. Those were seriously the two best months of my life. I feel like everything changed so fast after that.”
“We had a lot of good times, Mitch.”
“Good times? No. You were the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Whoa. Way to be subtle, Nichols.
She looked like she didn’t know how to respond to that and promptly changed the subject. “Did you know that Angie just had a baby?”
“Really? No.”
Angie and Cody had gotten married and moved to Seattle a few years ago. I wasn’t sure if Skylar had still been in touch with them.
“Yeah. They had a little girl. Her name is Ainsley.”
“That’s a cool name. I’m sure she’ll grow up to sound just like her father.”
Skylar threw a pillow at me playfully. “You’re bad.”
“It’s the truth though, isn’t it?” I threw it back.
“Yes. Of course, it is!” She wiped tears of laughter from her eyes. “Anyway…she quit her job. She’s home with the baby now, probably taking a zillion pictures all day.”
“Baby’s first 9,257 hours…”
“Exactly.”
Skylar stared off, and I knew why. It was something I tried to block out whenever it would cross my mind because it hurt like hell to think about. There was no one in the world that would make a better mother, and my heart ached for her. She looked at me, and I realized she knew what I was thinking.
She floored me when she said, “Kevin doesn’t want kids.”
“Does he know?”
“Yes. I was always up front with him about it.”
“You do, though…want kids.”
“You know I always have, but what does that matter if I can’t conceive?”
“There’s always adoption.”
“He doesn’t want kids period. If he doesn’t want one of his own, he’s certainly not going to want to adopt.”
I wasn’t talking about him. I was talking about us.
“Is that why you stay with him because you think you don’t have to worry about him leaving you if you can’t give him a child?”
She started to shut down. “No. That’s not why I’m with him. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
I thought it was a fair question, considering it was the very reason for our demise. If she hadn’t left me over that fear, we wouldn’t be in this position right now. I felt I had a right to ask.
“Okay.” I needed to change the subject. “Hey…I wanted to ask you. I don’t usually have a big birthday party for Henry. His birthday’s in the summer, but there’s this place that opens up in the fall. It’s an indoor kids gym, and you can rent it out. I was thinking of having a belated party for him at the end of September. He doesn’t really have any friends, so there won’t be too many kids there. He’ll just be able to jump around and go crazy and enjoy it without the chaos of a crowd. They have one of those moonbounces and a ball pit. They let you bring in pizza and cake. Do you think you’d be able to make it?”
Her face turned pale.
“Did I say something wrong? You don’t have to come. It was just an innocent invitation.”
“You said…the end of September?”
“What’s wrong?”
“I would love to go, but—”
“But what? What aren’t you saying?”
“There’s something I haven’t mentioned. I didn’t want to ruin this trip. I don’t really know how to tell you.”
I felt a sudden rush of panic. I started to sweat. “Say it.”
“Kevin was offered a vice president position in California. He’s taking it, and we’re supposed to be moving in a month.”
My heart felt like it had been ripped out of my chest. All efforts to remain calm and composed during this trip were destroyed in that moment. “You’re moving away?”
“I don’t want to.”
She moved closer. I backed away.
“In a month? How long have you known about this?”
“Two weeks, maybe three.”
“Were you ever gonna tell me? Or were you going to just f*cking disappear again?”
“I was going to tell you. I just—”
“WHEN?”
I got up from the couch and paced the floor.
“Please don’t get upset. You have no idea how badly this is hurting me. I don’t want to leave, but—”
“But you were going to anyway…maybe not even tell me until the last minute or never?” I rubbed my temples to soothe my pounding head as old wounds from her past abandonment burst open. “You knew…before you agreed to come here.” I looked deeply into her eyes, desperate for the truth. “This trip…it’s not a chance for us to get closer. It’s goodbye, isn’t it?”
Her voice trembled. “I don’t know what it is. I’m scared and so confused.”
“Well, I’ll make it easier for you.” I needed to get out of there before I totally lost it. I walked to the door and turned around one last time. “Thanks for dinner.”
A tear fell down her cheek. “Please don’t go away mad…”
“I’ll see you tomorrow at work.”
I slammed the door behind me.
When I got into the car, I couldn’t move. My hands shook as I gripped the steering wheel. I needed to calm down, so I could drive home. If she saw that I was still sitting out here, she would come outside. I needed to be away from her to think clearly.
I pulled out of the gravel and onto the dark road leading back to my hotel. A car driving toward me nearly blinded me with its high beams.
I replayed the night in my head as I drove. She loved me. I knew it in my heart. But love may not have been enough because she didn’t feel safe with me.
The text alert on my phone sounded, and I quickly looked down while trying to keep an eye on the road.
I didn’t say anything to you because I’m not sure I’m going with him.
My heart filled with hope and fear at the same time. While her words were encouraging, it was still a mixed message. Either way, it became abundantly clear that with this new threat looming, I had to fight harder and faster. I no longer had months to get her to see that she belonged with me. Maybe I would never be the safe choice, but I was the right choice. I would love her harder than I ever hurt her.
With only three nights left, I needed to capitalize on what strengths I had, including her physical attraction to me. I needed to show her how much she needed me, how happy and fulfilled I could make her in ways he couldn’t. F*ck my original plan to get her back gracefully.
Now, it was time to play dirty.