At least Spencer wasn’t the type to send follow-up messages. Poke, poke. Hello? You there? Why aren’t you talking to me? Because that shit could go straight to hell. Spencer wasn’t clingy like that. Yet another one of his endearing qualities.
Still smiling like an idiot, Nick texted back, Give me an hour or so. It was still a little early yet—just past three thirty in the afternoon—but . . . oh well. Spencer wouldn’t mind, and Nick wanted to see him sooner than later. Win for everyone.
He finished his coffee, then got dressed and shaved. Though he loved the leather he wore for his clients, it was nice to dress down for once. Jeans, a faded Muse T-shirt, trainers. Spencer must feel the same way when he had a day off and didn’t have to bother with suits and all that bullshit. Even if the suits did look good on him. Like, really good.
On his way out the door, he glanced at the wardrobe where he kept the bag he usually took with him. All the toys and fun torture implements. Just the thought of carrying it made him tired, though. Maybe Spencer would understand if, in spite of the playful text he’d sent earlier, Nick left the bag of tricks at home for an evening. He could always improvise or use the few things he’d left at Spencer’s place, a bit like leaving a toothbrush and a comb. Also, Spencer did have a few toys of his own.
An image flickered through his mind of the first night at Spencer’s place, when Nick had just been a prostitute and Spencer had just been his john. He’d ordered Spencer to fuck himself with one of his own dildos. Nick shivered at the memory. Good God, that had been hot. Maybe he’d tell Spencer to do it again.
With that thought in mind and the bag of toys still in the wardrobe, Nick left for Spencer’s flat.
“DVD” turned out to be Breaking Bad, which, for whatever reason, was hilariously funny. If anybody had told Nick four months ago he’d be sitting on a couch in front of the TV with a boyfriend who was a high-powered corporate lawyer and also an inspired (and inspiring) sub, he’d have strongly recommended laying off the drugs.
And sitting beside said lawyer, watching the exploits of a meth dealer and every few minutes exchanging he didn’t really just do that, did he? glances, made Nick feel almost normal. As if they had a normal relationship, like other people had.
And Nick hadn’t felt anything close to normal in a long time. Few of his friends and none of his family knew he was a prostitute, and when he was around them, he was always keenly aware of his secret. It reminded him a bit of the time before he’d come out, when every social function and family gathering had included a constant cadence of I’m gay, I’m gay, I’m gay repeating in the back of his mind. Not that he wanted them to know he was a prostitute, but just being around people who didn’t know made him hyperaware of the card he had tucked in his sleeve. Of that unspoken thing that made him different from everyone else in the room.
With Spencer, the cards were all out on the table. Even some of the uncomfortable ones they’d discussed over dinner the other night. There were no secrets, at least none that Nick was aware of. Spencer knew Nick was a rentboy, and he was well aware of what that entailed, and yet he put his arm around Nick’s shoulders like he would have with any other boyfriend. He touched Nick in all those affectionate little ways Nick hadn’t realised he was missing: a finger playing with the edge of his T-shirt sleeve, the occasional random kiss on the cheek or the top of his head, his bare foot sliding back and forth along Nick’s.
Even when he shifted to get comfortable after being still for too long, he never made an effort to put more space between them. Every time Spencer moved and didn’t let Nick go, a quiet voice whispered in Nick’s mind, And you’d better not let him go, either.
“Another one?” Spencer asked when the credits rolled after the third or fourth episode.
Nick rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “I might fall asleep if we do.”
Spencer gently kneaded the back of Nick’s neck. “You all right tonight? You’ve been quiet.”
“We were watching something.”
“Mm-hmm. You know what I mean.”
Nick closed his eyes and lowered his head, giving Spencer more access to his neck. “Last night was a little . . . rough.”
“How so?” His fingers faltered. “Did something happen? Did—”
“No, nothing bad.”
“Okay.” Spencer resumed his smooth, gentle motions. “So, was it just tiring, or what?”
Nick sighed, rubbing his eyes again. “I was distracted. Preoccupied. Not good for a Dom.”
Spencer was quiet for a moment. “Something on your mind?”
Nick supposed there was no point in lying, and he’d feel guilty if he did anyway. “Us.”
“What about us?”
“That’s just it,” Nick said. “It wasn’t anything specific. Just . . . us. Which made it hard to focus on him.”
“I would imagine so.” Spencer’s hand lifted away from Nick’s neck. “But you’re okay? After last night?”
“I’m okay, of course.” Nick rolled his stiff shoulders. “I just need to focus, that’s all.”
“You need to de-stress.”