“There’s just too much to you that I can’t stop myself from loving.” He continues to fight. “I love the way you look when you overthink; your lips purse and there’s this cute little love heart between them. I love when you get angry. Your pupils dilate and the green becomes this striking line around them. I love that thing you do in your sleep when you mumble my name and reach for me. I love how I can make you stutter my name, and I love that you’re running in circles in my mind all day.” He takes another breath, and I know this is a finale in trying to win me over. “And I would rather you shut me down a thousand times, so I could try a thousand more times than walk away saying I never bothered.”
I struggle to draw a clear breath at that and my eyes begin to water, but I remember the deal I made to myself. I want to cave and go against my better judgment, but I need to see this work. I need to know we aren’t just jumping in head first. I want this to work because I don’t want to be falling back to the dark places we’ve forced upon one another.
So I whisper all I can. “It’s not so easy, Zane.” I see the hurt reflect immediately in his eyes, and I feel like a massive bitch, but I have to keep it real here. “I have stood before you while you spout a pretty little story about how much you love me and what you want and what we both could be to the other; that it’s now going to be the final time. There’s so much between us now.” I look away, the enormity of our twisted past’s curses upon me and when I finally look up, I admit the one thing that stops me from believing him again. “Your track record doesn’t inspire me to want to go down that route a fourth and final time.”
“Then let's start this again, Amelia. No past to keep comparing us to. No murders, no betrayals.” He watches me and I can see he’s trying his hardest with me. Even more so as he extends a hand out to me, waiting for me to shake. “Hi, I’m Zane.”
“That’s not how I remember our first meeting.”
My comment is brought with a remembrance how he stopped me leaving a bar one night, blocking my entire exit and gave me a bright grin, complimenting me in the most masochistic way before I rammed my closed fist into his baby balls. He might have dropped like a ten ton weight and I might have stepped over him to leave, but he was back on his feet – albeit difficultly – following me out, telling me that I was the woman of his dreams. It hadn’t been love at first sight, but my tenacity had really won him over.
“Hi,” I whisper, putting my hand into his. “My name’s Amelia.” I watch the smile begin to creep along his lips, and I attempt to pull my hand away. “This doesn’t mean automatic admittance to my panties. If this is us starting again, we take it slow and you have to trust that I’m not out to hurt you purposefully. I wasn’t before this reintroduction so I won’t be after it. Likewise, the moment you try to evoke some wild jealousy in me with another girl, I’m out. I want this to work, and I’m running out of energy to fight for it. That said, I’m willing to try my damn hardest because I can’t lose you over and over again, but my bed and panties are not going to be an easy feat anymore.”
“No, I know, but it’s a start,” he tells me, taking my hand and dragging me back to the party. “And that’s far better than an end.”
CHAPTER NINE
“You don’t have to follow me around,” I mutter as I walk through the shopping mall, irritation rattling me strongly.
“Kinda do,” Zane responds, and it’s annoying how much mirth I can hear in his voice. “It was either me or one of your father’s men, and I know how much you love clingy people.”
“So you’ve become one?” I stop and ask while looking at him. “If this is the new you you’ve introduced me to, no thanks.”
Zane chuckles. “Look, Amelia, I’m going to take every opportunity I can get with you because even though I want your father to see how serious I am about my decision, I want you to see how deadly serious I am over you being a key factor. If coming shopping and holding your bags is that, I’ll do it.”
“So, what is this?” I ask, putting my hands on my hips. “Is this you trying to give me an idea of how us dating would be like?”
I see a coy smile brace itself upon Zane’s handsome face and I notice the blush creep onto his cheeks. My heart flutters and I see a glimpse of how much thought Zane has put into winning me over.
“It is, isn’t it?” I ask, trying hard not to allow my amusement to erupt with a fit of giggles. The man before is an enigma to me. He had the job, the life ready and waiting for him to live out, but with one whisper of his heart, he stepped over to the dark side. Even with the amount of push and pull between us – and the animosity we’ve presented to one another – he still stands here unrelenting and more confident in his decision than ever.
“Look,” he begins and puts his arm out so we can start walking again. “There are many things I am, Amelia, and sadly, a fucking heartless romantic is one of them.” There’s a moment of silence that lapses between us, save for the sound of other shoppers. “But only for you.” We get no further with our conversation as Zane stops and looks into a storefront. He grouses for a moment, observing before looking at me with satisfaction. “I really want a new suit. I have like three, and at this rate, they’ll be ruined,” he jokes, shooting me a look as if the tatters his suits will become will be my fault.