Before I can speak again, Zane begins to chuckle and as I let his hand go, he grabs my dropping hand in his, threading his strong fingers with mine. I look down at our hands before I dare to look at him, and as I do, his other hand comes up to graciously push my fringe back behind my ear, so not to ruin the style.
“For an intelligently beautiful woman, you can be the biggest idiot at times.” His words are spoken in a lower tone. He’s noticed the delicacy in the air, too, that he doesn’t want to destroy. “I can see all the restraint you put into pushing me away. It’s hard to watch you deny yourself the one piece of happiness you can’t completely kill. I know I’ve only been in this life for a week, but I’ve lived on the outside of it for so long to believe you’re due a break.” He sighs heavily, exasperation catching him. “I’m here to help you catch it and live out what we did when we were perfect and you were only at your happiest. I’m not going anywhere and that’s final. We can have this chat once, twice, a billion times over, but I cannot and will not go to another woman when the one I love is here.”
“I don’t know how you can love me so much,” I murmur, my tone twisting with confusion. “After all you know about me, all you’ve been through because of me, how can you even bear to be in the same room with me? I don’t understand, Zane.”
“I’m not sure there’s any point in trying to make you understand,” he mutters his comments. “My logic is warped.”
“No kidding,” I tell him, laughing a little.
“But what’s the point in a normal love story?” he asks me. Our fingers remain locked on the one hand; the other grazes along the length of my jaw. “What’s a fairy tale without dragons and villains?”
“We’re not the next Disney instalment,” I argue, trying to snatch my hand away from his, but he won’t let me go. “Zane?”
“Just stop,” he responds with an abrupt tone. He closes his eyes; his hold on my left hand tightens before he exhales and looks at me. “Stop overthinking and stop overanalysing. Just stop and feel, Amelia.” He leans in, keeping my sole attention once more. “Feel everything.”
“I already do,” I whisper, letting him in on my little secret. I never numb myself to what I witness, what I do, or what I say. I allow everything to take a piece of me, bury itself deep within, and stay with me for life. I feel every death, every piece of pain I inflict and I revel in it because no one else is punishing me for my sins apart from me.
“Then let me back in.” His response is quietly spoken, and he leans back to watch me. “Stop pushing me away.”
“I can’t help it,” I utter, finally looking away. “I still don’t understand why you’re hell-bent on loving a psycho.”
“Had you not noticed lately, but I’m a bit of a psycho myself,” he jokes, lightening the mood exponentially. “I needed your attention but just to prove that’s not all I want.”
“Then what?” I dare myself to ask.
His hand falls flat against my jaw, the other one finally letting me go to frame the other side of my face. “I don’t want just your attention, Amelia. I want you, your heart, your soul, your body, your every last breath. I want your absolute everything wrapped so tightly around me that I can’t bear to function outside of the realm of you. Don’t you see? I am a man so desperate for a final chance; I will die making it happen if that is the only way to make you see.” He holds my face, forcing me to look at him, and I can’t look elsewhere; what he’s telling me is reviving my ever-hardening heart. “I don’t want a second, or third, or a fourth chance anymore. I want this chance. I’ve never been a man in love and I’m learning at every turn, but I think I’ve got it now. I think I know what to do and what not to do.”
“What’s that?” I breathe the words out.
“Piss you off on a daily occurrence, kiss you like there’s no tomorrow, keep what’s left of your humanity alive. I want to be the man who saves you from sinking past the point of no return. I want to be the man who is your partner in crime. Like today, Amelia. We were equals going into the building and yeah, it went a little off-kilter, but even after I protected you, you stepped up. Not to outdo me, but you stepped up beside me. I want to feel like you and I have one another’s back for life.”
My eyes begin to water, and I inwardly yell at myself to stop. I’ve heard this spiel before; what makes this time different?