CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Calder
The next morning, I woke up as the rising sun hit my eyes through the uncovered window next to my bed. I groggily made my way outside, through the back door, where dew was still glistening on the ground. It'd burn off in the next hour or so, and no one who slept later than five thirty would ever know it had been there at all.
I went to the river where Hector still insisted I bathe. I knelt on the bank, splashed water on my face, and blew out a big breath, causing the water droplets to fly away from me in every direction, landing back in the water with a hundred tiny splashes. I bent and used my hand to bring the water over my head and behind my neck and then shook my head like a dog, sending water droplets into the air to land back in the water once again. I brought my shirt up to blot the remaining water from my face and neck and then started toward the outhouse all the way at the back of where the worker cabins sat, about a quarter of a mile away. I paused and looked back up at the main lodge behind me. No one would be up for at least an hour. Per Hector's rules, I had been trekking back and forth to the outhouse since I'd moved up to the main lodge, but who would know if I used the small bathroom all the way at the back of the house?
I returned to the main lodge and walked quietly to the small bathroom I'd only glimpsed inside on my way to the laundry room. I closed the door behind me as softly as possible and then looked around. There was no shower in here, just a toilet and a sink. I had never used indoor plumbing before, but it was easy enough to figure out what was what. Plus, I'd heard often enough the things others who had come from the big community missed once they were living in the worker cabins. I could see why. I turned the handle on the sink and water came flowing out. I startled back slightly and then turned the handle up, watching the water flow more quickly. I let it run for a minute, just watching it and marveling at how much easier something like this would make life in general. As I watched the water flow, I thought about that ridiculous irrigation system I had made to water our crops. As much as Hector talked about sacrifice and living off the land, he had probably been laughing inside at the simple stupidity of what I had come up with. Suddenly, that irrigation system seemed utterly ridiculous as I pictured myself down by the river hollowing out logs for months and months, my muscles burning and the sun beating down on my head. I started laughing, as silently as possible, leaning on the sink as I got a hold of my hilarity. I was laughing, but I had to. It was either that or cry in humiliation.
Once I got a hold of myself, I simply watched the water flow for another minute and then quietly shut it off.
The running water made me realize how much I needed to empty my bladder, so I used the toilet and then pushed down on the small silver handle. Water swirled and washed down the drain and then re-filled as I stood there staring down at it like some caveman who was seeing the modern world for the first time. Which, in actuality, was probably pretty accurate. I flushed it again, marveling once more as the water swirled and drained.
As I stood there, it hit me what stepping out into the big community was going to be like for me. If I was rendered incredulous by the workings of a toilet and sink, what was it going to be like for me to take in the many new and overwhelming things all at one time? It wouldn't be the same for Eden—she'd lived with running water and electricity, at the very least, her whole life. And it was going to be my job to take care of her, protect her. I was probably going to look like a bumbling fool. Anger coursed through me when I realized how unprepared Hector had left us to make any choice for our life other than to live here, in Acadia, for the rest of our days.
I leaned against the sink, picturing Eden's trusting eyes. Purpose filled me. It'd be overwhelming, yes, but I wouldn't let Hector decide the course of my life anymore. If the great floods really did come, I'd be washed away, but at least I'd be washed away in possession of my own freedom, and Eden would be washed away with hers, too. And wherever we ended up—in Elysium or in hell—we'd end up together.
I used the soap to wash my hands, rubbing the silky liquid between my palms and watching the bubbles form. The only soap I had ever used was a homemade concoction of herbs and oils, and it never lathered like this. I dried my hands slowly as I studied myself in the mirror. We didn't have mirrors in our home—vanity was sinful—so I had rarely seen my own reflection. I studied myself now, turning my face in different angles, touching the dark stubble on my jaw, and moving closer to examine my teeth. I took good care of my teeth, always cleaning them well with a rough cloth and salt, and chewing on mint leaves. I was lucky they were white and straight like Eden's. Not everyone here in Acadia was as lucky in the teeth department.
I opened the door quietly and then closed it behind me. As I was turning, a male voice said, "Breaking the rules already? How disappointing."
I whirled around and Clive Richter, one of the council members, was standing there, a smug look on his seedy little face. I didn't particularly like any of the council members, although I'd had little personal interaction with any of them, but Clive seemed to be the most unlikable of them all. He sat up in front at Temple week after week, trying to hide his yawns and checking something in his pocket repeatedly, while looking disdainfully at the workers. I didn't know if anyone else noticed, but I did. Clearly Clive Richter had a very high opinion of himself and a pretty low opinion of the rest of us.
I took a deep, calming breath. "It was an emergency."
Clive laughed mockingly. "You can return to your own . . . lodgings and take care of your emergencies there."
"In the future, I will," I said tightly, and went to move around him.
Clive grabbed my arm and I stopped suddenly, moving my head slowly to look at his small hand holding tightly to my forearm. I looked down at him, about six inches shorter than me, and hot anger filled me. This man, who probably in any other arena on the face of the earth would never dare to touch me, thought he could overpower me here.
I grabbed his arm and whirled him around, bending it behind his back the way Xander and I play fought when we were kids—only I wasn't playing this time. He choked out a sound of pain and I leaned in to speak right against his ear. "Don't. Ever. Touch. Me." I leaned in even closer. "Ever. Again."
Clive let out a small pained laugh, so I bent his arm up just a little more and he cried out, "Okay, okay, let me go."
I pushed him roughly away from me and when he turned around, his face was red with rage. "You'll be sorry for trying to make me look like a fool," he gritted out.
"Probably," I said. "But even if I'm punished, it was worth it. And you were a fool long before I came along anyway." I pushed him aside as I passed him and returned to "my" room where I waited for Hector to summon me like the dog he apparently thought me to be.
**********
The rain started falling a few minutes after I'd returned to the laundry room, large drops that spattered against the windowpane next to my bed. I put my hands in my pockets and looked out the window, wondering how I'd protect Eden from the rain once we left this place.
My thoughts were interrupted suddenly when the sound of a wailing alarm started up on the loudspeaker outside of the main lodge.
It was a flood drill.
My body tensed and I opened the door and moved into the hall. People were already leaving the main lodge, all the council members and their families were heading quickly to the front door.
Hector stood in the large main room, smiling serenely and reassuring people as they passed by him. "Don't be concerned. The gods are protecting us. This is only a drill so we're prepared when the floods come. Rest assured, be calm."
I looked for Eden, but didn't see her anywhere. Maybe she'd already left the lodge. I moved toward the front door when Hector's voice boomed out, "Calder Raynes."
I clenched my jaw and turned around slowly.
"I require your services here, Water Bearer," Hector said.
I walked back to where he stood, people passing me as the last of them filed out the door, a little girl crying in her mother's arms.
"Yes, Father? What can I do for you?"
"You can wait here until you're sure everyone's gotten out safely," he said. "I need to go and reassure my bride-to-be. She must be frightened. She doesn't like small spaces."
I made my expression blank and didn't say anything. As if he knew one thing about Eden. He knew nothing. To him, she was only what he wanted her to be: a possession.
But I stood still and watched him as he walked away. He shut the door behind him, and I walked very quickly to the window and looked out to see him opening an umbrella and walking around the main lodge to the door that led to the large cellar below ground.
I moved quickly toward the council member's wing of the house and called out, "Anyone here? Flood drill." I paused and there was only silence and so I opened the first door I came to and peeked inside, calling out one more time, "Flood drill." Silence met me again and so I entered the room, looking behind me once.
Immediately, I saw a dresser holding a wallet and walked to it quickly. Inside the wallet was money: three twenties, two fives, and seven ones. I hesitated momentarily, but then pulled out two of the twenties, one five and three of the ones.
My heart beat harshly against my ribs and adrenaline pumped through me.
I heard footsteps right outside the door and spun around. Duke, the larger of the two mutts came trotting into the room, whining at my hand for pets. I exhaled. "Hey boy." I scratched his head for a minute, getting hold of my heart rate.
I stuffed the money in my pockets and returned the wallet to the dresser top and left the room, closing the door behind me. I did a similar search of several of the other rooms, coming away with three more twenties, three tens, and twelve more ones.
I had been bold in my stealing, but we needed to leave this place as quickly as possible. I was willing to risk someone questioning their missing money if it meant Eden, Xander, and I could leave that much sooner. No one could prove it was me.
As I was passing through the kitchen, I saw a plastic bag on the counter holding some crackers. I emptied the crackers into the garbage and put the money into the bag.
I started to head toward the front door, when I noticed that Hector's office door was slightly cracked open. I hesitated for just seconds and then turned and entered the large room. I went immediately to Hector's desk and opened the drawers one by one, looking for cash. I didn't find any and I touched nothing. Everything in his drawers was lined up, just as everything on top of his desk was, and I didn't want to disturb anything. He was strange when it came to the order of his things.
I went to the large filing cabinet by the window and tried to open the drawers. They were locked though, all except the one on the very bottom. I hesitated, sitting up straight and listening, thinking I may have heard something. After a silent minute, I pulled the drawer open and saw only files. I tilted my head to read the tabs and saw that each council member's name, all six of them, were spelled out. I frowned and started rifling through the paperwork. At the front of each file was a newspaper clipping. I brought the first one out, for council member Rodney Sarber. I scanned the article briefly and saw it was about how Rodney had run a large ministry in Kansas City, where he apparently had been embezzling money from his own church. The article told of the scandal that had followed and showed a tearful picture of Sarber being led away in handcuffs. I put the article back and rifled through the other folders, intending on reading the other articles, when I heard the same noise outside Hector's office again. I closed the drawer quietly and tiptoed to the door where I opened it and strode out, as if I had every reason to be in there. The man himself, Rodney Sarber, was standing outside Hector's office. He narrowed his eyes when he saw me.
"What are you doing here?"
"Hector asked me to check the lodge to make sure everyone was out," I said calmly.
"In his office?"
I opened my palm, showing him the key to the cellar sitting there. "Hector forgot this," I explained. "I just want to make sure we all don't get locked down there."
Rodney looked from my palm to my eyes and nodded one quick head tilt. "Go on then. I'll be behind you." I'm sure you won't be, you damn coward.
I headed out the front door and put the baggie of money under a rock on the side of the house where Xander and I had once sat waiting to see Eden for the first time, so many years ago.
The heavy, concrete door to the cellar squeaked open when I pulled it, and I walked down the five steps where everyone was waiting, bodies pressed against bodies in the space that didn't quite fit two hundred people. Workers were segregated in one section, while the council members and their families stood near Hector who was standing on a small platform at the back of the space. Next to him was a storage room that held food items being preserved for the winter.
This space was built so we would all be together when the floods came, none of us being washed away. We would all hold hands as the water finally broke through the ceiling and began filling up the below-ground rooms. We shouldn't be afraid—paradise waited. We would be led to Elysium by Hector and Eden, where we would all look down on the earth as it began again, rulers of the new humans.
And I couldn't do anything now except hope it was all a great big lie. And yet the very thought brought not only hope, but grief and anger, too. I had believed once, hadn't I? And now the lie felt cruel and intentional, meant to harm me and rob me of a life.
As I stood there in the throng of bodies, I felt like I was spinning. The only sounds were of rain outside, restless children, and a few crying babies. I looked around for Eden and finally spotted her next to Hailey, to the right of Hector.
I was taller than most of the people around me, so when I craned my neck, she spotted me and smiled, glancing quickly over in Hector's direction. I followed her glance and saw Hector was looking at her and then looked over at me when Eden did. We both quickly looked away, and when I glanced back at Hector several minutes later, his stony face was still focused in my direction.
I stood taller, responding in an instinctual way to what felt like a male threat, even from across a very, very crowded room. The hairs on my neck bristled and I worked to keep my breathing in order. So many bodies were between Eden and me. I'd have no way to get to her if I needed to.
I looked around for my own family, but couldn't see them in the crowd. This couldn't be good for Maya's health. I hoped at the very least, she wasn't scared. I had always been next to her during these drills in the past, squeezing her hand three times after she squeezed mine.
Outside, the rain seemed to increase in intensity, as if great sheets of water were falling from the sky. The noises around me got quieter, all the people looking upward as if the ceiling over us would give any view of what was going on outside.
"The gods are simply testing our patience, our faith in them," Hector called out over the noise of the pounding rain. "Don't fear. This is what it will be like when the great floods come! All of us together—rejoicing because we are about to be led to the most glorious place imaginable. We know this is a drill because my blessed one hasn't yet become mine. Without that, we cannot be led to Elysium. Without that, we are not complete. Without that, we are not yet balanced."
Hector dropped his head, and weaved slightly, a council member to the side of him reaching out to keep him steady. Hector pointed upward to a corner of the ceiling. "There. There is where the water will start trickling in." He closed his eyes again. "It will become a mighty gush very, very quickly, and the water will begin to fill this space." He raised his arms. "But we will not fear because we will feel the presence of the gods among us!" Then he dropped his arms and went silent, seeming to come back to himself as he simply stood waiting, and looking around with a small, satisfied smile on his face.
After what seemed like hours and hours, but was probably more like thirty minutes, the sound of the falling rain grew faint and it felt like we all let out a collective breath.
"You may open the door now," Hector called, and a man standing next to the staircase went up and pushed the heavy door open.
The people behind me pushed forward, and I walked out quickly and moved to the side. Everyone was eager to get out into the fresh air and the open space.
Everyone began walking toward the Temple, for Hector always gave a sermon after a flood drill, and I followed behind them, knowing I'd be close to Eden soon, even if I did have to sit on the floor.
I went inside the Temple and took my new place, kneeling at the side of the council members' chairs.
A few minutes later, Hector walked in with Eden on his arm. I tensed to see him touching her, repeating in my head, not long now, not long now, again and again until I could relax, picturing that money sitting under the rock in front of the main lodge.
Hector walked Eden to her chair and she sat down, and then he walked to the podium where he waited until everyone had entered the Temple.
"My people," he began. "I know a flood drill isn't the most pleasant experience, but it always reminds me that someday very, very soon, we are all going to be standing in that space below ground, knowing the real flood is above us and the world is being scrubbed clean. It fills me with humility to think about the fact we, all of us here," he waved his hand around, "have been chosen by the gods. We are blessed. And so these drills fill me with happiness, with pride, and with love for all of you."
Hector looked down. I couldn't see the expression on his face well from where I was sitting, but I imagined that it looked thoughtful, intense.
"The gods have chosen me as your Father, your protector, and your leader. Nothing fills me with more gratitude and honor than that." He paused again. "And yet, like any good father, I sometimes must correct the actions of my children, my family. In any obedient group, discipline must exist or there is no trust, no faith in the rules of how we must live. Yesterday, I told you about the gods creating the gentle river and the turbulent sea. Today, I must act on behalf of the gods and help one of our own find his way back to peaceful waters. Unfortunately, one of my children has lost his way, veered off the course the gods would have him take. Calder Raynes." Hector turned toward me and I looked back at him, unblinking. I looked out into the audience and my mother's hand was over her mouth and Maya's head was buried in my father's chest. I closed my eyes for a couple beats, took a deep breath, and then opened them again.
Hector continued to hold eye contact with me as he spoke to the congregation. "Despite the fact his baptism was just yesterday, Calder Raynes has committed the sin of selfishness, and has disrespected a council member by using physical violence against him."
Hector turned to the crowd. "Is physical violence acceptable from one of the blessed people of the gods?"
"No, Father," the people said.
Hector looked down. "No, no it's not. Do we all feel safe here when there is an undisciplined person living among us?"
"No, Father."
"Does sin and disobedience harm us all?"
"Yes, Father."
"Yes. Yes it does. And so it pains me, it breaks my very heart, but Calder must kneel on the punishment board for the rest of my sermon and then he must serve one day in the people's jail underground for his transgressions. This pains me as much as it will pain you, son, my once-trusted water bearer."
I felt rage, disbelief. I felt like I might lunge at Hector.
"Or perhaps," Hector went on, "you are so selfish that you'd have someone else bear your punishment for you? Perhaps," he waved his arm out to the crowd, "perhaps your mother?"
I forced my expression to go blank. "I take my punishment happily, Father," I said, my voice especially raspy, even to my own ears.
I sat there incredulous as Clive Richter stood to get the board, shooting me a triumphant look as he walked past me, and then placed it on the floor to the right of Hector, where I was meant to kneel with my back to the people, in humiliation and shame. I felt sad my parents and Maya had to witness this and might believe the charges brought against me. But, I couldn't feel shame about what I had done to Clive. I'd said I'd take my punishment happily, and I would.