Twelve Days The Beginning

Chapter Forty

Elise walked into the office on a typically depressing Monday morning. Despite the fact that summer was just around the corner, it was raining and had been non-stop all night. The weather seemed to have been particularly bad just recently and she was desperate to see some sun soon in the hope that it might lift her spirits a little.

Stephen wasn’t there when she arrived which she thought was strange as he was usually one of the first to get in but perhaps he had had a heavy night the evening before. Thinking that maybe he was battling a bit of a hangover, she dismissed any other thoughts and set about tackling her in-tray.

An hour or so later, Elise realised that she was still alone in her section of the office - no Stephen yet but also no Olivia - very weird. Not that she was sad at the absence of the other girl, but she was beginning to worry that she would be expected to deal with the whole of her section by herself all day. If that was the case, she needed coffee so she headed to the kitchen, carefully avoiding the route which would take her past Vaughn’s old office. It was a store room now and had been ever since he had moved upstairs but considering all that had happened since that first day when she had stood in there and argued with him, she found it very difficult to see the visual reminder and she took care to avoid it whenever she could.

Once she had waited for the kettle to boil and made her coffee, she returned to her desk and realised that she was still alone. This was ridiculous; where on earth was Stephen? Getting slightly worried, she decided to give him a call and reached down to her bag by her feet to get her mobile. She and Stephen had become closer over the last few months and she was glad. Although they never talked about Vaughn, having Stephen in her life made her feel a little like she still had some connection to the man that she was still, and always would be, hopelessly in love with.

After searching through her bag fruitlessly, she belatedly realised that she had left her phone at home. She had plugged it into the kitchen socket to get a last few minutes of charge into it before she left home for the day and had completely forgotten to unplug it. Bother. She didn’t have Stephen’s number anywhere else and she knew that Personnel wouldn’t give it to her and that Celeste was off for the day. In the end she decided that the she had two options; either sit it out here and wait, hoping that he would eventually turn up, or quickly drive home and collect her mobile so that she could contact him. It was completely out of character for Stephen to be this late into the office, even taking into account a heavy night, and whilst she registered that she could go upstairs and ask one of the Management team if they knew where he was, she would much rather try to reach him herself which meant only one thing - dashing home. If she left the office now, she would be back within half an hour as she would miss any of the lunchtime rush so decision made, she collected her belongings and car keys. After arranging with Annabel for any messages to be taken, she rapidly ran out to her car and jumped in.

It took her just over ten minutes to get home and pulling into the driveway she was surprised to see that Dale’s car was still there. That was strange - she was certain that he had been about to leave at the same time as her and that had been a good couple of hours ago. Concerned that he might be unwell, she put her key in the lock and pushed open the door and as she did so, she heard a scuffle coming from upstairs, which was accompanied by a muted thud. What was that? Maybe Dale really was ill and was running to the bathroom?

After collecting her phone from the kitchen, she trotted up the stairs two at a time to make sure that he was alright and check that he didn’t want her to pick him up anything. If he had some kind of virus then he’d probably just want to lie low but as she was here, she may as well make sure.

The bedroom door was closed which was unusual, and she could swear that she heard muffled voices as she reached the top of the stairs. As she turned the doorknob, a sudden feeling of dread hit her and she paused, apprehension taking hold and running through her entire body. She had gone cold from head to toe and began to feel like she was having an out of body experience as she slowly opened the door. When the gap opened wide enough to permit a view inside the room, she initially reeled back in shock as she encountered the last thing that she had ever expected to see.

Dale was indeed in bed but he didn’t appear to be unwell; in fact he was very much alive.

Alive – and not alone.

Elise took a moment to consider the scene in front of her, waiting for an appropriate emotion to kick in and as she did so, she realised that actually, she felt absolutely nothing. Zilch. Not one single feeling. Not anger, not betrayal, not sadness – absolutely nothing.

Instead, she reacted in probably the most inappropriate manner and she burst out laughing. Proper hysterical, full-belly laughs. Right there and then in the doorway of her bedroom, as she was blatantly confronted by her naked husband and his infidelity.

Dale had been watching Elise ever since she had opened the door and to begin with, he had had a smug expression on his face. Now though as she continued to laugh almost uncontrollably, the smugness had disappeared and was replaced with something approaching confusion and maybe even fear. It was if he realised that he wasn’t getting the reaction that he expected and was now concerned as to how this scene was going to play out.

“Oh Dale…” Elise said when she could finally talk. “You do realise that you have just made my day, don’t you?”

At his confused expression Elise continued, spelling it out for the man so that he could be in no doubt as to what this meant for them and their sham of a marriage.

“The boot is on the other foot now, Dale, and I think you will find that any lawyer will agree to grant me a divorce considering the – evidence – that is before me. This is it. I am finally and thankfully free and you, my dear husband, no longer have any control over me or my life. I am done, completely and utterly done, and I couldn’t be happier. So thank you Dale, for finally allowing us to go our separate ways which is what we should have done a hell of a long time ago. I will collect my stuff later on and I don’t expect you to be here.”



She turned to walk back out of the door feeling completely and utterly elated. She was free, entirely and absolutely free and the irony was that it had been inadvertently granted by the one man who had been keeping her captive all of that time. Her husband. He had messed up, he had been playing away and now, in some sort of karma, he had been caught and there was absolutely nothing that he could do anymore. The power had shifted and she felt happier and freer than she had in a very long time. With a beaming smile, she began to descend the stairs and then as an afterthought, a further twist almost, she turned back to the still open door and addressed Dale’s companion.

“At least I now know why you weren’t at work today, Olivia.”

She delivered the statement calmly, immune to the shocked look on the other girl’s face and then she walked down the stairs, out of the front door and finally out of Dale Breedon’s life.

It felt damn good.

Back in her car, Elise headed in the direction of the office feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted. She couldn’t believe that she was finally free and that this time it was actually over. Without any shadow of a doubt whatsoever. At long last her relationship with Dale had ended. He didn’t have any grounds to refuse her a divorce now and he no longer had any hold over her. The days of hurt and pain could be put behind her and she could move on with her future. Ultimately it had been Dale that had ended things by his actions but she didn’t care as long as it was over. All she knew was that she had been given her wings and now she was going to stretch them out and fly free, away from the poisonous world she’d been living in and onto something pure and new, something untainted. Something real.

At least she now understood why Dale hadn’t been worried about having sex with her. For an instant she almost felt sorry for Olivia, wondering if the girl knew what she was getting into, but she found that actually, she really didn’t care. Olivia had made her feelings towards Elise perfectly clear over the last few months and in some respects, Elise felt that Olivia and Dale deserved each other. Good luck to them – all she knew was that whatever plan they had plotted had totally backfired and she was the happiest she had been for a very long time.

As she continued to drive she maintained the huge smile on her face, anxious to get back to the office to talk to Stephen and tell him what had happened. She knew that she didn’t deserve anything as far as Vaughn was concerned but if she spoke to Stephen, then maybe he could give her some idea as to whether or not there may now be a future for her and Vaughn. She desperately hoped that there could be; she was still in love with him and would be for as long as she lived.

Whilst she continued to mull this thought over, she suddenly remembered why she had been at home in the first place – she had gone to pick up her phone so that she could call Stephen. With everything that had happened since she had completely forgotten so she quickly pulled the car over to the side of the road and retrieved her phone from her bag.



She powered it up and checked the screen, surprised to see that she had a number of missed calls from Stephen – perhaps he had been trying to contact her to get her to cover for him or something. Just as she was about to press the button to call him back, the phone began to ring in her hand and seeing that it was Stephen again, she answered with a big smile.

“And where the hell do you think you are today?” she said and laughed. For once his sometimes questionable antics didn’t bother her at all.

There was a silence on the end of the line before Stephen spoke and when he did, the tone that he used filled her veins with ice and her heart thumped loudly in her mouth as she listened to what he said.

“I’m at the hospital Elise.” His voice was dead, flat. “I’ve been trying to call you all morning. You need to come Elise. It’s Vaughn.” Once he had choked the words out, she heard him break down and immediately, without hesitation, she threw her phone to the floor of the car, restarted the engine and floored the accelerator.



Stephen met her in the waiting room at the hospital, his face was ashen and his bright blue eyes were seared with pain.

Elise rushed into his arms and he held her briefly before pushing her away.

“What the hell’s happened?” she asked, “Where is he?”

Stephen regarded her carefully as if considering what to say. He looked completely shell shocked.

“Stephen!” she shouted, “Just tell me. You have to tell me right now! What the hell is going on?”

Stephen raised his tear stained face to hers, his eyes were red and swollen where he had clearly been crying.

“It’s bad, Elise” he said simply “Really bad. The stupid bastard took an overdose.”

Elise reeled back in shock and immediately felt her legs go from under her. Stephen caught her and helped her over to the plastic chairs along the side of the room.

She couldn’t comprehend what the hell was going on and what Stephen had just said.

An overdose? Her beautiful, strong man had taken an overdose?

Why, for Christ’s sake? Why the f*ck would he take an overdose?

“Is he...??” she asked finding that she couldn’t even form the words.

“He’s OK at the moment. They’ve pumped his stomach and now it’s just a waiting game. I found him, Elise. Shit! The stupid f*cking bastard! Just like....” Stephen stopped abruptly and punched the seat beside him in anger. Elise found she had nothing in her to console him. She echoed his sentiments completely.

“Just like..?”

“Nothing.” He said the subject clearly closed, and Elise didn’t really care anyway; there were much more important questions that needed answering.

“Why?” she asked, “I thought he was happy... I assumed...”

Stephen looked at her then his face full of anger and his next words cut her to the core.

“You saw what you wanted to see Elise and believed what you wanted to believe. He was never happy after you left him – never.”

And exactly as had happened this morning when she had found Dale in bed with Olivia, finally the fog that had clouded her judgement five months ago lifted, and she realised that whilst she had made the most difficult decision of her life, it had also been the worst decision of her life.

How could she have ever thought that going back to Dale was the best thing for all of them? She had been unbelievably stupid. So what if Dale thought he had something on Vaughn and Cole? So f*cking what? Her love for the two men knew no bounds and instead of trusting that between them they could deal with anything, she had chosen the easy way out, the coward’s way out. Going back to the life she had always known, however unhappy it was, and living that instead of listening to her heart and dealing with the consequences. Had she really considered the full impact of what she had done on the man that she had only ever been trying to protect?

Sadly, and clearly obviously now, she feared that maybe she had not.

And now he was paying for her stupidity. Paying for her endless mistakes, terrible decisions, her sham of a life and paying in possibly the most final and devastating way of them all.

She couldn’t look at Stephen, she couldn’t do anything. She was numb, and as the ever-present tears started to fall, she knew that the only person she could blame and would ever blame was herself. There was no one else in the picture.

They sat like that for what seemed like hours when in fact it was probably only minutes. Silent, both of them lost in their thoughts. From time to time, Stephen imparted bits of information as and when he was able to. The doctors were only allowing visitors for a short while as Vaughn was being closely monitored. He was still unconscious and as yet had not responded to stimulation. Stephen had called both Vaughn’s parents and his sister and they were on their way here too. Elise realised that she would be meeting Vaughn’s family for the first time ever in the sterile confines of a hospital and registered how utterly inappropriate that was. They would meet in a hospital; a hospital that even now they were rushing to because of what she had done to their son and brother. The feelings of guilt and responsibility were overwhelming and Elise knew that she would never forgive herself for this. Ever. Even if Vaughn survived... she shuddered. The alternative didn’t bear thinking about. He would survive, he had to survive.

A short while later Stephen reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. He looked at it hesitantly before he handed it to her. Their eyes met briefly and then he looked away, the pain in his eyes that she knew was reflected in hers, was raw.

“He left you a note, Elise” he said, his face crumpling and he scrubbed his hand across his eyes as if to try to focus. “Maybe that will give you your answers. Maybe it will give all of us some answers.”

Elise didn’t think it was possible to shake any more than she already was but the vibrations intensified as she looked down at the envelope in her hand. His elegant handwriting was scrawled across the front, one word – Elise. With trembling fingers she began to open the envelope, dreading but also needing the words that would be inside. She pulled out a single sheet of paper, neatly folded and opened it up, the words swarming in front of her eyes as she struggled to control her tears. Finally she calmed herself enough to allow the letters to form and slowly she began reading.



Elise,

Please don’t be angry with me for what I have done. You have to know that I only did this because I ran out of strength. Maybe I’m being a coward, but I can’t do this anymore.

When you left me that day I tried; I really tried to move on and to get on with my life but every day it was like another piece of me died until there was just nothing left. I knew that I couldn’t go through that kind of hurt again; I don’t have the strength to rebuild my life anymore.

I love you Elise, more than you will ever know and I understand why you did what you did but I can’t just stand by and watch it all happen again – and we both know that it will. I can’t be close to you but not be with you, the pain is too intense. Too much. I am done Elise.

Please don’t feel guilty; this is just the way it has to be.

Look after Stephen, he will need you. Trust me. And maybe one day he’ll tell you everything and you’ll understand why I have done this.

You are my life, Elise Grayson, and without you there is no life.

I will wait for you in heaven, my darling Angel.

Yours always and forever, Vaughn. x x x


The stupid, stupid, stupid f*cking bastard.



Why the hell didn’t he try to talk to her? Tell her how he was feeling? They could have worked through it all; she knew they could have done.

But he couldn’t talk to her, could he? She had cut him out of her life in the cruellest way possible. She had taken his love, and she had thrown it back in his face. She had walked out on him for all the right reasons, which had ultimately turned out to be the totally bloody wrong reasons.

Why hadn’t she trusted in him? Trusted in what she felt. Trusted in him to keep her safe. She had been the worst kind of fool. She had turned her back on the only man that she had ever truly loved.

The tears were falling silently, streaming down her cheeks, and as she choked out a sob she silently passed the letter to Stephen. He deserved to read it and she deserved his hatred. She wasn’t going to shy from anything anymore. She would face life head on and just let it take her wherever it needed her to go.

She had already forgotten about Dale and Olivia. Her earlier euphoria evaporated as she sat in this cold and clinical room, waiting and waiting – endlessly waiting - to find out if the beautiful man that she loved with all of her heart would live. How could she ever forgive herself and carry on with her life if anything happened to him? She couldn’t. Her head hurt, she couldn’t process any more, she needed to shut down – maybe forever.

Stephen finished reading the letter and then handed it carefully back to her. The unbearable silence continued for a few more minutes and then, as if by some unspoken agreement, they reached for each other and held on as if their lives depended on it. Sobbing brokenly into each other’s shoulders, taking and giving what little comfort they could.

Some while later, the door to the waiting room opened to reveal a doctor who advised them that there had been no change. One of them was however permitted to sit with him for a while and Stephen allowed Elise to go. She needed to go to Vaughn, to be with him, and she was eternally grateful that Stephen understood that.

Entering the room she took the seat to the side of Vaughn’s bed and watched the monitor that he was attached to, the insistent sound like a metronome in the quiet of the room.

“You promised me that you would never leave me, you bastard.” She whispered.

Beep – beep – beep – beep – beep.

It was laughing at her, taunting her.

Beep – beep – beep – beep – beep.

Reminding her – memories – things that should have been said and done.

Beep – beep – beep – beep - beep.

How she had broken this beautiful, proud man.

Beep – beep – beep – beep – beep.



The tears continued to fall, dripping down onto the side of the bed.

Drip – drip – drip – drip – drip.

In time with the monitor.

Beep – beep – beep – beep – beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.......

And as the room erupted into a flurry of urgent activity, Elise gripped Vaughn’s hand even tighter between hers and rested her head on their joined hands. She closed her eyes, shutting out the sounds of the room, the noise of the monitor, the people frantically rushing around, closing out everything but her and this man. A nurse tried to remove her but she refused, holding on tight – she would never let this man go, ever again.

She kept her eyes firmly closed and emptied her mind, allowing a kind of surreal darkness to take over. She recognised that she couldn’t fight anymore and that she just had to trust; something that she should have done all of those months ago. Today she did, today she trusted in Vaughn, she trusted in him to know that she was there, to know that she was sorry and to know that now it was her turn to take care of him. She needed Vaughn to trust in her, to trust that everything would be OK and to somehow find the strength to fight for his life again.

With no other option and nothing left, she did the only thing that she could.

In the madness and the mayhem happening all around her, she began to silently and solemnly pray.




THE END