Twelve Days The Beginning

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Five months later

After that fateful day in the hospital, life had slowly begun to rebuild and return to a new normality, far removed from anything that had ever been before.

She had not seen Vaughn since that day. He had left Andrews & Andrews - he didn’t need the money and she didn’t think it had ever been about that for him anyway. She had no idea where he was or what he was doing but she knew that Stephen still kept in touch. Occasionally she would overhear him talking to Celeste and Annabel but the conversation would always be abruptly halted as soon as she approached.

One time, Stephen had brought some photos in and left them on his desk at lunchtime. Unable to stop herself, Elise had reached over and taken a look. The pictures were all of Stephen and Vaughn at various parties, pubs and clubs. Vaughn looked relaxed and happy, often with a carefree smile and usually a different girl in his arms. That had hurt, seeing photos of him laughing and happy and seeing other girls in his embrace but she knew that they were where they were because of her. It had been her decision to deny hers and Vaughn’s relationship, to deny their love and she had been the one to tell him to move on.

The choice she had made all those months since hadn’t really been a choice; in reality, the decision had been made ten years before and, as Dale was always happy to remind her, ‘for better or for worse’ meant forever and that was how it had to stay.

For her – she knew that she would never love Dale again; she was completely empty inside now, devoid of emotion. She had left her heart behind the day that she had walked out on Vaughn and with the exception of that beautiful man; there was no one in the world that had the power to heal her again. Despite all that, she knew that this was how it had to be for them - for the good of both of them - but she just wished that one day she would wake up and truly believe in the decision that she had made.

Her relationship with Cole had changed; where once they had been close, they were now equally apart. They still talked, but barely. Every conversation was an effort to the point where neither of them really had the energy to carry on. Cole had never been completely on board with her relationship with Vaughn but she knew that he had liked the man, admired him even and he could see that she had been in love and so he had ultimately accepted things and let it ride. Her happiness was important to him and he had overlooked any misgivings he may have had to maintain her happiness. But when she had decided to return to Dale, that had killed him and Elise knew that. She had seen him die inside when she had told him her decision. He had ranted at her, shouted, raged, pleaded with her to change her mind, but she had calmly explained that she needed to do this; she owed this to Dale and her marriage to make things work. She was lying of course, she didn’t owe Dale anything, but as with Vaughn she simply couldn’t tell Cole the truth. She couldn’t tell him that she had traded her life, her happiness and even her soul for his life and for Vaughn’s. She knew that Cole could tell she that was lying but the fact that she wouldn’t open up to him hurt him beyond measure and, whilst he told her that he would always look out for her, he couldn’t watch her get hurt anymore and he said that he needed to distance himself.

Dale had been true to his word and had attended the counselling and rehabilitation courses and he was making an effort, although their relationship remained strained, it being blatantly evident to both of them that she didn’t want to be there. Dale realised that, and she often wondered at someone who wanted to keep a person trapped who clearly didn’t want to be there. It didn’t make any sense to her but if she ever raised the subject of divorce again, he just shut her down and renewed his threats. He never let her forget that she had cheated on him and Elise had just learned to accept the small improvements that he had made and the general unhappy state in which she lived her life.

His drinking was virtually non-existent now and there had been no violence at all since she had returned. He hadn’t touched her sexually either and she was immensely grateful for that. There was no way she wanted him to touch her ever again and she had begun to wonder why he wasn’t that bothered either. He seemed to have gone from being one of the most highly-sexed men she knew to someone who didn’t even appear to care anymore and that was definitely odd. She didn’t dare raise the subject in case it backfired, and she just thanked whoever it was in high heaven for the small mercy that meant his hands never strayed anywhere near her.

Her parents were still largely in the dark. Obviously they had been concerned when she had been hospitalised after the car accident but as she had not really sustained any injuries, neither of them had thought to question anything and once they had made sure that she was safe and well, they had gone back to their lives. For this, she was glad. She needed all of her energy to keep functioning on a daily basis and didn’t have anything left in reserve to deal with her parent’s worries and fears.

It was hard enough dealing with her own.