To Love and to Perish

THIRTY


ON THE NIGHT OF Isabelle’s surprise party, Ray and I got dressed in the closet together. He put on a pair of tan chinos, a light blue shirt, a multicolored blue tie, and his navy blazer. I put on a ruffled hot pink off-the-shoulder dress with a neckline that skimmed the swell of my breasts.

“Ray, can you zip me up?”

He took hold of the zipper pull, swiped my hair away, and leaned down to run his lips over the back of my bare neck, sending shivers down my spine. “Do I have to?”

I playfully swatted him away. “Yes, we’re going to be late. I don’t want to miss the look on Isabelle’s face when we all yell ‘surprise.’”

Danny waited for us in the living room, watching his beloved SpongeBob and wearing a pair of tan chinos, loafers, and a yellow dress shirt. He looked handsome—and annoyed to have to be going to this party. He’d been very quiet since he got home from visiting his dad with Ray today.

“Do I have to go?”

I thought once again of how much he and Ray were alike. “Yes. We’re all going and we’re going to have a good time.” So help me.

Danny passed the hour-long drive to Isabelle’s party by listening to his iPod.

Ray kept my Lexus at an even sixty miles per hour, five over the speed limit and six under the radar. “Are Erica and Maury coming tonight?”

Erica and I used to have Thanksgiving dinner every year with Isabelle’s family when Ray and I were separated. Their family knew us both well. “They were invited, but Erica’s taking sewing lessons at the quilt shop. She didn’t want to miss class tonight. They’re learning how to make buttonholes.”

Ray snorted.

“Don’t belittle her. She’s using her time constructively. I’m proud of her.”

“Did you pay for her lessons?”

I looked out the window and changed the subject. “Matthew called Brennan this week. Brennan asked him to when they saw each other at Beth’s funeral. Matthew said he wants to get to know him. He’s coming to Brennan’s house tomorrow.”

“Is Cory going to be there?”

“No, he thought the two of them should get acquainted first.” It would be a relief if one positive event ensued after all these deaths. Cory’s and my morning donut discussions were a lot quieter lately. We both knew we’d been the catalysts for two people’s deaths. Even though we’d been in the pursuit of truth, the fact never got less painful.

“That’s a good idea.” Ray hit the left-hand turn signal, waited for an oncoming car, then made his turn.

“Cory said Beth’s parents were heartbroken at the funeral. Her mother couldn’t stop sobbing, and the doctor had apparently given her a tranquilizer.”

“They went through a lot with her, only to have her throw it all away.”

My secret fear was that could happen to even the most attentive and loving parents. “Well, at least Brennan and Matthew will have each other.”

“Matthew’s an adult. He doesn’t need a father anymore.”

“Then maybe they can be friends. That would be just as nice, wouldn’t it?”

“Sure.”

I glanced over my shoulder into the back seat. Danny’s eyes were closed, listening to the iPod. He didn’t seem to hear our conversation. “Danny’s been awfully quiet since he got home today. Did anything happen when he visited his dad?”

Ray glanced in the rearview mirror. “His dad has a black eye.”

“How did he get it?”

“He won’t say. I’m sure one of the other prisoners hit him.”

Frustration boiled in me. “Can’t you guys keep him safe? It’s the county jail. You work for the county.”

Ray frowned. “The guards do what they can, Jolene. They don’t have the manpower to watch him every second. He might get roughed up a little.”

“And you don’t care. He could get killed.”

Ray checked the mirror again. “I care, but I can’t control the situation.”

“We could pay Mr. Phillips’ bail and get him out of there.”

“And he might take off with Danny, especially now that he’s had a taste of jail again. Do you want to take that chance?”

I couldn’t answer Ray—because I didn’t know. Mr. Phillips had entrusted his son to us. Had his faith in our abilities changed? His situation certainly hadn’t. He was still a homeless car thief, as far as we knew. Danny was a well-behaved seventh grader with good marks who played on the football team. He couldn’t have any of that if his dad took him away. Mr. Phillips had made it clear Danny’s education was important to him when he stole my Ferrari to start Danny’s college fund—or so he said. Would he sacrifice his own needs for Danny’s?

Forty-five minutes later, I still didn’t have an answer when we pulled into the parking lot for the party house, which was so full Ray almost gave up and went home. He finally found one remaining spot at the far side of the parking lot.

We slid out of the car and headed toward the brightly lit portico.

Inside the lobby we left our coats with the attendant and entered the party room.

A wave of heat hit me in the face. Guests dressed in all their finery filled the room as bow-tied, white-shirted waitresses roamed, offering hors d’oeuvres and flutes of champagne. A band dressed in navy tuxedos played jazz softly. White Christmas lights glittered on topiaries placed strategically around the room, and magnificent bouquets of fall flowers graced every table, set off by flickering vanilla scented candles.

Jack must have invited every person he and Isabelle knew. I didn’t see either of them anywhere, but Jack’s brother stood on a dais, speaking into a whining microphone that pierced my eardrums.

“Everybody, can I have it quiet please?”

All the heads in the room turned toward him.

“Jack just texted. They’ll be here in a few minutes. We’d like everyone to form a line around the perimeter of the room. Then we’ll dim the lights. When they walk in, we’ll all yell ‘Happy Anniversary,’ okay?”

Everyone started to jockey for position around the perimeter. Since we were still in the doorway, we only had to move a few steps to stay close to the entrance yet out of the way.

The lights dimmed. We waited.

And waited.

A few people giggled nervously. Some started to whisper.

A man by the window called out, “They’re here. Shush.”

Moments later the doors flew open. The lights went up.

Isabelle stood in the doorway on Jack’s arm, wearing a stunning red satin dress with matching shoes and a diamond necklace that caught the light. Her eyes bugged out when we yelled.

A tentative smile—then a broader one lit up her face and spread to her eyes. She fanned herself with her clutch as her gaze moved around the room.

Jack, looking dapper in a black tuxedo, unhooked his arm from hers and stepped to the side. “Surprise, honey. Happy anniversary.”

Tears glittered in the corners of Isabelle’s eyes. She shook her head in wonder and disbelief before moving to kiss him.

Everyone applauded.

Cassidy ran forward from where she had been waiting at her grandmother’s side, her curls bouncing and her crinoline and taffeta rustling. She stopped in front of Isabelle, pressing her palms together. “Are you surprised, Mommy? Are you surprised?”

“I sure am, baby.” Isabelle crouched and hugged Cassidy tight. “I sure am.”

The three of them started around the room to greet the guests. Everyone stayed in place, waiting to be received. Isabelle and Jack made it around to us at last.

Jack shook Ray’s and Danny’s hands. “Good to see you. Thanks for coming.”

He leaned in to kiss my cheek. “Thanks for keeping the secret. I know it must have killed you.”

That was putting it mildly.

Isabelle’s eyes met mine. She started to cry.

I hugged her.

She whispered in my ear, “I’m such an idiot.”

“No, no. He must have been planning this for months. He was keeping a secret from you, just not the one you thought.”

“Let me steal Jolene for a moment, Ray.” She took me by the hand and led me toward the bar. “I feel so stupid. You know, when you and Ray split, it was right around your ten-year anniversary. I was so sure you two were meant to be together forever. Your separation rocked my confidence. Then when Jack started acting secretive, I assumed …”

She pressed her hand to her nose and sniffed.

I tried to ease the moment. “Well, you know what happens when you assume.”

She laughed. “I do now.”

The band started to play “From This Moment On,” Shania Twain’s big hit from the late nineties, and the song Jack and Isabelle had chosen for their first dance at their wedding. Jack approached from across the room, took Isabelle by the hand, and swept her onto the dance floor in front of the band. Her smile was radiant.

Ray appeared next to me. “Nice party. Isabelle looks stunning.”

I sighed with happiness. “Yes, she does. Where’s Danny?”

Ray waved vaguely over his shoulder. “He’s discussing the merits of about a hundred different Playstation 3 games with Isabelle’s nephew.”

Other couples moved to join Isabelle and Jack on the dance floor. Ray crooked his arm. “Care to dance, Mrs. Parker?”

“I’d be delighted, Mr. Parker.”

The evening passed in a whirl of filet mignon, wine, and chocolate mousse cake. By ten, I felt bloated but satisfied. Danny, finished with his Playstation discussions and bored to tears by the music and dancing, agitated to go home. The party seemed like it was just getting started, but I told him to wait by the front door while I bid Isabelle goodnight and rounded up Ray from his conversation with the men by the bar.

Isabelle hugged me tight. “This was amazing. I’m so glad you came.”

I squeezed her back. “Me, too. Where’s Jack? I want to compliment him for a job well done.”

Isabelle waved toward the men’s room. “He’s making room for more wine.”

“Oh. Well, tell him the party was wonderful.”

Ray and I found Danny slumped on a bench in the lobby. The coatroom attendant had disappeared. She must have been taking a break because her tip jar sat unguarded on the ledge. We waited a few minutes but she failed to return to her post.

Ray gazed at the claim tickets in his hand. “What coat did you wear?”

“My white one. I’ll help you look.”

We entered the coatroom and started up the first aisle, checking the hanger numbers against our tickets. We rounded the bend into the back aisle.

And came upon Jack in a clench with another woman.

She spotted us first and tapped him on the shoulder. He spun to look at us.

Ray looked at the tickets in his hand. “I think those are our coats you’re leaning on. Could you pass them this way, Jack?”

Jack swallowed and obeyed.

I gazed at him, my mouth hanging open. He couldn’t meet my eyes. The woman appeared unrepentant. I had no idea who she was.

Ray put his arm around my shoulder and nudged me toward the door. “Great party, Jack. Take care.”

He pushed me along. I resisted, tempted to go back and claw Jack’s eyes out. “Keep moving, Jolene. It’s not our affair.”

A poor choice of words on Ray’s part.

He moved me into the lobby and placed my coat around my shoulders. “Danny, let’s go, buddy. Time to go home.”

I stared at the coatroom then tried to locate Isabelle in the party room, willing her to come and witness this for herself. I didn’t want to be the one to tell her and break her heart.

Ray swept me out the door. He whispered in my ear as we crossed the parking lot, “Isabelle knows. The wife always knows.”

On the way home, I analyzed Isabelle’s crazed behavior over the last few weeks and her admitted suspicions regarding Jack’s

behavior. She’d been acting completely out-of-character, emotional, irrational, like she’d lost her identity.

And I realized Ray was right.

_____


I kissed Danny goodnight and went into our bedroom to change while Ray tucked him into bed. After washing off my makeup and brushing my teeth, I climbed into bed, welcoming sleep.

Ray appeared in our bedroom doorway, loosening his tie. “Hey, don’t go to sleep yet. Danny wants you to tuck him in, too.”

I threw back the bedcovers and padded across the cold wood floor in my bare feet. It was nice to be wanted, but sometimes it was okay to be left out, too.

“Good night, Danny.” I brushed the hair from his forehead and kissed him.

He lifted up on his elbows. “Can we talk for a second?”

“Sure.” I sat on the edge of his bed.

“My dad has a black eye.”

“I know. Ray told me.”

“He won’t tell me how he got it. He just said not to worry.”

“But you’re worried.”

Danny swallowed and nodded. A tear ran down his cheek. “You promised to help him. Can you bail him out of jail?”

“I could, Danny. I have the money.” I hesitated, then decided to go with the truth. “I’m afraid he’ll run and take you with him. I couldn’t bear to think of you living out of a car again.”

I expected Danny to protest, to claim this would never happen. He said nothing. Instead, he lay back down on the bed. “I understand.”

His calm acceptance broke my heart. I pulled the covers over his shoulders and kissed him again. “I love you, Danny.”

He turned his head away and the covers muffled his reply. “I love you, too, Jolene.”

I thought he might be crying.

In the living room, I curled up on the couch, pulling an afghan around my shoulders as I hugged Erica’s pillow to my chest. When Danny said he understood, did he mean that he thought his father would run? Did he mean his father would take him away, too? Or did he simply mean that he knew I’d break my promise and never take a chance by paying Mr. Phillips’ bail?

How could a twelve-year-old understand when I didn’t?

I read the words on Erica’s pillow again. “I smile because you’re my sister. I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it.”

Such a stupid gift shop saying. But it made me feel better. As her surrogate mother, I had taken every one of her failures and setbacks to heart, wondering what I could have done or what I should have done. In the end, did she really turn out so bad?

Soft sobs filtered through Danny’s door. Although my heart broke, what more could I say to him? Words, in this case, were worthless.

Danny needed to know he was loved, that he’d come first always. Ray put him second when he did his job and arrested Mr. Phillips. He wasn’t wrong to do his job. He just wasn’t right. Mr. Phillips had done the right thing by changing his plea to guilty and put himself at risk for it. Danny had felt lost after the arrest, pulled between us and his loyalty and love for his father. Now he felt afraid for his father’s safety. It wasn’t right.

Another one of the stupid gift shop sayings popped into my head. While Erica’s chosen saying showed up on pillows and plaques, this one usually appeared on wall hangings with seagulls and beach scenes and read something like, “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was meant to be.”

Stupid. Yet profound.

All night I tossed and turned in bed, sleepless. Ray threw his arm over me again around three a.m. He muttered, “Don’t worry about Isabelle. Everything will be all right. Go to sleep.”

But I wasn’t worried about Isabelle. I was a little worried about him and me—and whether he’d forgive me. Or if he’d even need to.

———


In the morning, I got in my Lexus and drove to the bank, where I withdrew five thousand dollars. Half an hour later at the county jail, I laid it on the counter to pay Mr. Phillips’ bail.

And I set Danny free.

THE END





BOOK DISCUSSION QUESTIONS


1. Jolene and Ray had different approaches to dealing with Danny. Do you agree with one more than the other? What did you think of Jolene’s final decision to bail out Danny’s father? What do you think will happen to Danny and his father?

2. Both Isabelle and Cory investigate their partners. What do you think of snooping and spying on a partner?

3. In the end, Jolene and Ray believe Isabelle knew about her husband’s cheating. What would you do if you were Isabelle? What did you think of her husband throwing a grand anniversary party for her?

4. What did you think of Brennan’s father’s reported behavior?

5. Gossip and innuendo swirled around Brennan Rowe, most of it painting him in a negative, false light. Have you ever experienced or witnessed the same? How should it be handled? Why do people generate gossip and innuendo?

6. What do you think of Jolene’s and Ray’s marriage? Erica’s and Maury’s? How are the two marriages alike and different? What do you think their futures hold?

7. Some murder mystery readers prefer the dead body to appear in the first chapter. Some expect two bodies per story. Some enjoy a mystery that delves into the past and reveals secrets. What elements of a murder mystery appeal to you most?





ABOUT THE AUTHOR


Lisa Bork lives in western New York and loves to spend time in the Finger Lakes region. Married and the mother of two children, she worked in human resources and marketing before becoming a writer. Bork belongs to her neighborhood book club, the Thursday Evening Literary Society. Her debut novel, For Better, For Murder, was a 2009 Agatha Award finalist for Best First Novel. The second book in her Broken Vows mystery series, For Richer, For Danger, was released in September 2010, and the third book, In Sickness and in Death, was released in September 2011. For more information, please visit her website at www.LisaBork.com.