This Star Won't Go Out

Esther had her second visit to the Jimmy Fund Clinic yesterday. It was a four hour, big excursion for her, since she doesn’t leave the house except for those visits. Getting down the stairs, out to the van, into the hospital, blood work, check up, and back home, all in about 30 degree weather . . . whew! She does have constant throat discomfort and they said her recent, and intense stomach pains are probably due to the acidity of the chemo drug she’s been taking. Unfortunately, for the first time her red blood cell count is now down—undoubtedly why she’s been more fatigued than usual. So next Wednesday morning we’ll be going in at 8 am for her first 2-3 hour blood transfusion. Some have wondered whether Estee is in remission; no, that would mean that she was cancer free. She is unlikely to ever experience a remission and it is hoped that the present chemotherapy will stop further tumor growth and possibly even destroy cancer cells. But that’s a best case scenario and her medical team(s) really doesn’t know if she’ll live sixty days or sixty years. They have been clear that it will take a miracle for her to see adulthood. We’ve talked about it, about dying, her odds and she’s aware of what we are writing here. Dad reminded her about 2am yesterday that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. For a young woman who wants nothing more than to be present with her Lord, that’s not a bad deal. Of course, she, and we, prefer she stick around to bless her great-grandchildren! Our family is really looking forward to Thanksgiving. We’ve decided to fix just a tiny turkey breast so that we can focus on the fixin’s that we really love! Roasted veggies, lots of mashed potatoes (this is the one thing Esther’s craving!), olives and other condiments, and pumpkin muffins and pumpkin pie. We hope all of you consider God’s blessings along with us this holiday season.





Thursday, November 27, 2008 12:11 AM, CST


Dear Friends,


It is now Thanksgiving, a day to gather with friends and family and together express gratefulness and appreciation for our many blessings. Today also marks exactly two years since we first heard the words, “Esther has cancer.” We’ve been thankful for each day we’ve had and especially encouraged by Esther’s recent blood transfusion which pushed her numbers from 23 to 38! Also, after two full days of antibiotics, she has begun healing from an infection and is now feeling much better. You can see Esther sharing various thoughts in her own quirky way by clicking the link to youtube here on this site.


We also answered the door today to learn that a friend had submitted our names to a local radio station and we’d been chosen to receive a full Thanksgiving meal! So, we will be cooking an entire turkey after all!





Monday, December 1, 2008 6:30 PM, EST


I’m glad so many are interested in our Esther. The many notes and expressions of caring encourage us all. Wayne and I think of each of you, even if we don’t respond with individual emails back!


Thanksgiving was emotional for me. It was supreme happiness to be together as a family, and to share lists around the laden table of what we’re thankful for. But I’m often overwhelmed by grief that Esther is so much worse than a year ago, even. Last year we went to the Quincy Christmas parade and to a Christmas farm to cut a tree for the season. This year Esther’s only outings are likely to be doctor visits, although we’re hoping to get her to Angie’s Holiday Concert at North Quincy High School. We should be able to take her in a wheel chair, with oxygen in tow . . .


The reports from her blood work today are good, with red blood cell counts staying up this time. She has a continued infection near her g-tube site, and hasn’t been able to eat much because the rash on her face is now internal as well, and it causes too much discomfort to swallow more than necessary. We may have to take her in to the Clinic tomorrow to check things out and see what medication they can prescribe for these side effects. Lately she’s been enjoying her new journal, and we’ve caught glimpses of drawings of her cats in her sketch book.


We are consciously thankful each day.



Selfie,

BOSTON, 2008





Accio Pooh!

QUINCY, MASSACHUSETTS, 2008





JOURNAL, December 2, 2008

This is my new journal.

Right now I’m sitting here watching Jon & Kate Plus 8, which, by the way, is my favorite show. At the moment the Gosselin’s and all their 8 kids are going on the Oprah show to talk about all their problems.