The Year I Almost Drowned

Chapter 24

I took the pie out of the oven–the crust was golden and flaky–caramelized sugar oozed its way out of the tiny poked holes. All I could smell was cinnamon and apples. I wrapped the pie in a thick towel and carried it with me to the front door. I grabbed my car keys and treaded quietly out the door. I didn’t want to wake Nana. She was a light sleeper and any sound could stir her from her light state of rest. The outside light flickered on as soon as I hit the front porch steps. It was on a motion sensor and even though I knew that, it still startled me.

I knew it was late–too late to go over someone’s house–especially when they’re not expecting you. But, when there’s that sense of urgency, like your heart is going to explode, you don’t really care about social etiquette or logic. I threw logic out the window the moment I got into my car and started driving. I needed to do this. When you are one hundred percent sure about something and know it’s true and unfaltering, you don’t care about following protocol.

There’s something incredibly peaceful about being on the road when no one else is. It’s like you own the road and have created your own special world. A low hypnotic tune played on my radio. My window was rolled all the way down. My hair blew from the gentle breeze. I checked the passenger seat. The pie sat wrapped securely and hadn’t moved from the car swerving on the mountainous roads.

I arrived into town and pulled to a close stop at the flashing red light. I kept driving, passing all of downtown Graceville’s businesses, seeing the empty lot that was once where Lilly’s Diner stood. It won’t be empty much longer, I thought. I drove a few more blocks and turned left on Forrest Road, searching for his house in a sea of bungalow style houses.

I pulled my car into his driveway. The number on the mailbox matched his address, but I wasn’t sure this was where he lived. I had never been to his house before. A light was on inside. I could see him peering at me from his window. I knew he’d be up. It was late, but not that late. I turned my car off and got out. I walked to the passenger’s side and picked up the pie, carrying it with me to his front door.

He met me at the door, opening it before I got the chance to knock. His expression was perplexed. “Finn, what are you doing here?” He stood at the door, his right arm completely covered in white bandages. He wore a blue t-shirt and a pair of old khaki shorts covered in paint stains and tiny holes.

“I brought you a pie,” I said, glancing down at it.

“At eleven o’clock at night?” he said with a strange expression.

“Can I come in?” I asked.

“Yeah, sure,” he said, remembering his manners. He moved to the side and allowed me to walk through. There wasn’t much furniture in the living room–just a sofa, chair, coffee table and a light blue rug that lay underneath the oak table. Music played in the background. A book laid face down on his sofa. The ceiling fan continued to move round and round, emitting cool air into the room.

“Would you like to sit down?” he asked. He picked up a pile of laundry off of the sofa and motioned to the now empty spot.

“Sure,” I answered and sat down.

He carried the stack of clothes with him into another room. I looked around noticing it all. A picture of his mother hung above the television set. A framed picture of my grandparents sat on his coffee table. Racks and racks of CD’s leaned against one wall.

He walked out of his room and looked at my hands. “So, what kind of pie is that you’re holding?”

“Apple.”

His grin was broad. “My favorite.”

“I know,” I answered.

“But why?” he asked as he came toward me and took the pie out of my hands.

“Because.”

He shook his head. “That’s not an answer,” he said. “Let’s have a slice.”

I stood up and followed him. He flipped a light switch as we entered the kitchen. His galley kitchen was merely big enough for the two of us. The cabinets were oak with long wrought iron handles and the counter was a warm beige tile. I glanced down at the old pine floors and then back at him, watching as he took two red plates out of one of the cabinets. For a guy, Jesse was very meticulous. His kitchen sparkled and was probably cleaned on a daily basis. In fact, besides the pile of laundry that lay on his couch when I first entered, the rest of the place was immaculate.

“Red, huh?” I said to him.

“Lilly got them for me when I moved in.” He unwrapped the towel and peeled the aluminum foil back, exposing the pie. “Looks good.” He grabbed a knife from the knife board and cut two large slices, and then placed one slice on each plate. “Ice cream?” he asked.

“Sure.”

He opened his freezer door and took out a carton of vanilla ice cream. He grabbed a spoon and gathered a large amount, placing a large scoop on top of each slice of pie. “Coke?” he asked.

“Do you even need to ask me?”

He laughed–the familiar boisterous sound pleasing to my ears. I took the can of Coke from his hands as he poured milk and squirted chocolate syrup into a glass. The spoon clanked against it as he stirred, creating a chocolaty brown consistency.

“You and your milk,” I said. We carried our plates and sat in his black colonial style chairs that surrounded his round wood table. He sat across from me and dug into the pie.

He gave a satisfactory smile. “This is good,” he said.

“I’m glad you like it,” I said with a pleased expression.

“It’s as good as Lilly’s.” He took another bite and chewed. Within a few minutes, his entire slice of pie had been eaten. He was ravenous. “You can’t just have one slice, Finn.” He pushed the pie toward me.

“It’s yours.” I pushed it back to him.

He rolled his eyes. “I wanna share it,” he said as he cut two more slices of pie and placed them on our plates.

“How’s your arm?” I asked, looking at the white bandages.

“It hurts, but it’ll be okay.” He frowned a little and said, “It’s being off of work that sucks. I’m ready to go back, but they said I have to be out for two more months.”

“That long?” I sipped on my Coke.

He nodded. “Yeah, it’s going to take a while to heal.”

“I’m sorry, Jesse.” I took a small bite of my pie and swallowed the cinnamon apple goodness. The pleasant taste of sugar lingered in my mouth.

“It’s no biggie. Firefighters get burned all the time. There’s this one guy–we call him Buzzer–he’s got scars up and down both his arms.” He took a bite of his slice of pie, chewed and swallowed. “This is so good, Finn. It hit the spot.” He smiled and patted his stomach.

“I’m glad. I wanted to do something, I just didn’t know what to do.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“You didn’t have to do anything,” he said. “So tell me, why are you here at eleven o’clock at night bringing me a pie? You could’ve brought this over tomorrow morning.” He put his fork down on his empty plate and leaned forward, staring into my eyes as if he were trying to read my thoughts.

“I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while,” I said nervously. I started to fidget and had to sit on my hands to keep myself calm.

“I was kinda mean at the hospital. I’m sorry about that. I was just so upset at my dad. I still am.” He shook his head slightly and pursed his lips. “I can’t believe he put you in so much danger.”

“It’s okay, Jesse. It’s all okay.” I bit on my lip and then said, “He’s in jail, did you know that?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “Cookie told me.”

“I didn’t press charges, but they still charged him with breaking and entering anyway.”

“You should’ve pressed charges, Finn. He should stay locked up for a long time for what he did.” His lips twisted in disgust.

“It was an accident, Jesse.” I moved my hand to his, the tips of our fingers barely touched. “He’ll have to live with the guilt.”

“Guilt,” he scoffed. “Please, he’s too drunk to remember what he did.”

“He remembers.”

“You talked to him?” he asked. “When?”

“I went to see him yesterday. He’s going to be sentenced soon. Cookie thinks he’ll get a light sentence, though,” I said.

“That’s too bad,” Jesse grumbled. “He deserves a life sentence for the hell he put your family through.”

“You’ve got to forgive him. Remember when you told me I had to forgive my mom and let the anger I had toward her go or it’d eat me alive?”

“Yeah.” He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t know what I was saying.”

“Jesse, you knew exactly what you were saying,” I said and placed my hand on top of his clenched fist. “I listened to you then, please listen to me now,” I pleaded, looking directly into his eyes.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive him for what he’s done. He can mess up my life as much as he wants, but you, you’re different.”

“I’m no different than you. I’ve forgiven him. If you can’t forgive him, at least let the anger go, Jesse. Otherwise it’ll change you.”

Jesse looked down at his hands and sighed. “For you, Finn, I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises. It’s going to take a long time for me to forgive him for what he did,” he said. I couldn’t criticize him for the way he felt. He was being honest. And, even if those feelings weren’t perfect, they were his, and I had to respect that. “So, tell me, why’d you bring me a pie so late at night?” He looked at me and waited for me to answer.

I gulped and took a short deep breath. “I wanted to see you,” I said. “To talk.”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Okay,” he said with uncertainty.

I took another deep breath. “I know why you broke up with me.”

He frowned. “Finn,” he breathed.

I held my hand up. “Let me finish, okay?” I had to say what I wanted to say right then and there or else I would never muster enough courage to get it off of my chest. “All that time, Jesse, I thought you broke up with me because you didn’t love me anymore. I thought I had lost you for good. But I was wrong, so incredibly wrong. I was just too blind to see it. Everyone tried to tell me–Nana, Hannah, Sidney–but I wouldn’t listen. I didn’t listen to anyone. I just kept on believing the bad stuff because sometimes the bad things are easier to believe than the good,” I said, staring directly into his light blue eyes. “Jesse, at the time, I didn’t know what I wanted or where I was headed. You were trying to give me space, so I could figure those things out.”

“Yes,” he agreed quietly. “I couldn’t keep dating you knowing in the back of my mind that you were questioning it all, that you weren’t sure. It killed me, Finn,” he said, his lips turned down. “It was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make. I knew if we stayed together, I would only hold you back and I couldn’t do that to you.”

“It took me a while to figure things out, but I finally see things clearly.” I took a deep breath. “Jesse Quinn, I love you and I know what I want, and what I want is you. And I never, ever want to be apart from you ever again,” I said as tears fell from my eyes. I looked at him and waited for a response. It was killing me. Was I wrong? Were his feelings for me gone?



“I think.” He stood up and came to me, leaning over me. I looked up at him, searching his light blue eyes. He took my hand, helping me up. He pulled me close to him–the scent of fresh soap coming from his warm skin. He placed his fingers under my chin and tilted my head up so we were looking into each other’s eyes. The smell of apples and cinnamon came from his moist breath as he said, “I think that’s exactly what I have been hoping to hear from you, Finn, for the longest time. Finley Hemmings, I am so in love with you. You’ve had my heart since the day we met.”

He leaned down and placed his lips on mine and gave me the most delicious kiss of my entire life. I saw fireworks light up the night sky. My heart beat like a drum. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I loved him, and that made this kiss the best kiss of my entire life. This kiss was the real thing.

His lips parted from mine and he looked down at me. My face was flushed and warm, his just as much, if not more. “I’ll always look back on this day as one of my favorites,” I said.

“Me, too,” he said. I stood there so close to him, holding both of his hands, never ever again wanting to let go. He had tied a rope around my heart and now it was his. Forever.

“Don’t go home, yet,” he said.

“I wasn’t planning to,” I said with a devilish grin.

He made a tisk, tisk sound with his lips. “Save the best for last,” he teased. “No, what I meant ‘Miss Dirty Mind,’ was that I wanted you to stay and enjoy this night with me. Let’s hang out. Like old times.” He grabbed my hand, leading me to his back yard.

We sat down, side-by-side, on his back porch step. It was completely dark outside. Not one streetlight shined in the distance. I couldn’t see Jesse clearly but could make out his shadow and hear him breathing. “This isn’t what I had in mind,” I said in a teasing manner, but deep down under, I wasn’t joking.

He whispered in my ear and kissed the nape of my neck, “Get your mind out of the gutter, Finn. It’s still early.”He laughed loudly and drew me closer to him. Fireflies lit up the night sky, blinking light every other second. “I used to catch these with my mom when I was a kid. We’d put them in jars.”

“I love fireflies. I never saw any until I moved here. They don’t live in Florida,” I said in a quiet voice, afraid I was going to wake his neighbors. “I guess there’s a lot I didn’t see or experience until I moved here.”

“I’m so glad you got on that bus last year.”

“Me, too, Jesse. I guess I should thank my mom.” I laughed at the irony.

“We can call her first thing tomorrow morning and thank her.”

We both laughed and then things grew quiet for a moment. “This is nice,” I told him, breaking the silence. “Being here with you. I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me, too, Finn. I’ve missed us.” He kissed me softly on the lips, his fingers ran through my hair. “I could kiss you forever,” he said unabashed.

On that night, our special night, nothing was omitted; everything was out in the open. There was nothing to be ashamed of or too afraid to admit. We both knew what we wanted. Having that kind of certainty made confiding so easy and effortless. It was pure trust and true love. Neither one of us was ever going to let the other go ever again.

I leaned my head on his shoulder and watched the special light show the fireflies were performing for the two of us. “Seeing fireflies is one of my favorite parts about summer.”

He stroked my arm with the tips of his fingers. Goosebumps instantly formed. “That and diving with me, right?” he said.

“Diving with you is my absolute favorite.”

He kissed me longingly, with yearning, different than before, much more intense and layered with deeper meaning. His lips parted mine. I could hear his shallow breaths. He laced his fingers into mine and said, “Anything I get to do with you is my absolute favorite, Finn.”

“As long as I’m with you, Jesse, I’m happy,” I said and smiled. I nuzzled as close as I could get to him and watched as the flickering lights brightened the dark night sky.

“Wanna go to the pool and dive?” He nudged me.

“You read my mind,” I said and giggled.

We both got up and swiftly walked through his house, shutting the front door behind us. I held onto his hand as we ran down the street toward the community pool, ready to dive back in.