The Year I Almost Drowned

Chapter 16

Jesse still had a key to the diner. I guess he never got rid of it, and Grandpa had never asked for it back. All the lights were on, and he was already inside, prepping in the kitchen. I opened the door and went straight to my grandfather’s office to put my purse up in my locker. I turned on my grandfather’s computer and started entering data into the book keeping program I had downloaded. It made balancing the books simple and easy–not some confusing, conglomerated mess like it used to be.

Music from the kitchen echoed into my grandfather’s compact office. Jesse and his Nina Simone. He had chosen Work Song, one of his favorites to play at the diner. Hearing her voice brought back so many memories. I had shut out all jazz music from my life since he and I had broken up.

I entered the kitchen. He was moving his head and bopping his feet back and forth. “Jesse,” I said.

His subtle dance moves stopped, and he spun around. He looked a little embarrassed. He turned the volume down on the CD player and said, “Hey.”

“Hi,” I said. “Nina Simone again?” I arched my eyebrows.

“Always.” He smiled.

“I just wanted to say thank you for helping out yesterday and for coming in today. Hannah told me you had a long shift yesterday,” I started.

“It’s not a big deal. You looked like you needed help,” he said and shrugged. “You’re running low on a few things.”

“Oh, gosh.” I slapped my forehead. “I didn’t even think about inventory.” I moved to the pantry and opened its door. He followed me. And even though the space was big, it suddenly felt small and confining and not roomy enough for the both of us. I could smell his cologne, the earthy musky scent.

“You need flour.” He pointed to the last bag of flour on the bottom shelf. He was standing right next to me. “And definitely more pasta for the mac and cheese,” he said, moving his head in the direction to the top shelf.

Jesse and I moved around as well as we could and looked at the shelves, taking a mental note of what was needed immediately and what could wait. “You need sugar, too,” he said. I checked one of the shelves and turned to face another shelf behind me and there was Jesse, within inches of me.

“Sugar,” I repeated, trying keep my voice steady. My palms were clammy and my heart was racing. It was a strange sensation, like the feeling you get when your blood sugar is low and you can’t think straight, but I had eaten plenty for breakfast and knew there was nothing wrong with my glucose level.

“Brown sugar, too,” he said, still close to me, close enough that I could smell his breath, his warm delicious vanilla wafer breath. He peered into my eyes and I thought he was going to lean down and kiss me, but then all of a sudden, he backed away, far off to some invisible safe zone. And just like that then things went back to the way they had been. He put his hand behind his head, ran it through his short hair and searched the room one more time. “You should place these orders this morning so they’ll get here by tomorrow.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “Thank you, Jesse. I mean it, thank you,” I said, looking up at him.

He responded with a smile, and we walked out of the pantry together. Hannah passed by the kitchen and saw us coming out together. She gave me a strange look and then pursed her lips. She was still angry with me, and I didn’t understand why.

“Hi,” I said, coming up to her.

“Hi,” she said briskly.

“We were checking inventory,”I said.

“Great,” she sneered.

I wanted to ask her why she was still mad at me but was afraid of the confrontation. We were within minutes of opening, and I didn’t need another blow up. So, I just ignored her and acted like nothing had happened. I went back to the office and placed the orders.

***

Hannah left before we could talk. It was just Jesse and me in the diner. The day had gone by fast and was much better than the day before. Things ran seamlessly; it felt like old times, well almost. It would never feel the same without my grandfather.

I sat in front of the computer entering the day’s sales. The screen flickered, giving me an instant headache.

“Finn,” Jesse said, standing at the doorway.

“Yeah?” I placed both hands to my temples, pushing them to create the slightest pressure.

“I’m gonna go.”

“Okay. Thanks for helping again.” I looked at him and smiled. “I wouldn’t have been able to open it today, and I can’t believe I didn’t think about the inventory.” I laughed at myself. How on earth was I going to run this diner?

“You have a lot of things on your mind. It’s understandable.”

“Still. If it weren’t for you, I would have sunk.”

“You’re gonna need to hire a cook,” he said.

“Oh, I know. I just don’t know who. I was hoping my dad would change his mind.”

“Your dad probably won’t change his mind. But I’ve been known to be wrong before,” he said and then grew quiet.

What did he mean by that?



“I guess I’m going to have to try my hand at cooking,” I said.

“Lou Schwatzentruber. You should call him. He was a scout leader with Charlie and used to be a cook in the Navy. He lives close to Graceville. He came to the funeral,” he said.

“I didn’t meet him.” I put my fingers through my hair and pulled out my rubber band and then pulled it back into a neater, tighter pony tail. “Oh, I don’t know.” I leaned back in the chair. “I could’ve met him. I met so many people that day, they all blend together.”

“You met him.” I didn’t know how he would know who I met but didn’t question him.

“Here’s his number. He and I talked last night, and he sounded interested.” He handed me a piece of paper. “I’ve got to go to work tomorrow or else I’d help out,” he said.

I took the paper out of his hand. “Thanks. You’ve done enough, Jesse.” And he had; he had gone above and beyond.

“I’ll see you later, Finn.” He smiled at me and placed his hand on my shoulder and then rapidly removed it. “Don’t worry, this will all come together,” he said and was about to leave but stopped himself. “Are you fixing to leave? We can walk out together. Graceville can be a scary place,” he joked.

I laughed and things felt strangely familiar, like before the break up. “I guess I better stick close to you, then,” I said in the same teasing manner. The ease of our conversation felt familiar and comfortable.

I shut off the computer and grabbed my purse from my locker. We walked out of the office and toward the entrance to the diner. I turned off the lights, Jesse opened the door and I walked out, him following right behind me. It was still light outside, late in the afternoon. Small beads of sweat started to fall from the back of my neck, down to my lower back. The heat was intense and stifling.

“It’s a good day for a swim,” he said.

I wiped the sweat off of the back of my neck and then wiped my forehead. The smell of bacon grease and coffee still lingered on my hands. “Yeah. It’s crazy hot,” I answered.

He paused for a moment. “Wanna go?” he offered.

“Now?”

“Yeah. I’ve still got a key.” He smiled as he held the key up. Jesse used to teach swimming lessons at the Graceville Community Center pool–the only pool within miles of town. I hadn’t been in it since the previous summer.

I bit on my lip and thought about it for a moment. “I don’t have my swimsuit with me,” I said.

“Oh,” he said, a tinge of disappointment in his voice.

“I can go home and get it, I guess,” I said.

“Whatever you want to do,” he said. “Maybe I’ll see you there,” he added, like it didn’t matter if I went or not.

For some reason that really irked me. I thought about saying something, but before I could utter any words out of my mouth, we were interrupted.

“Jesse,” Hank said, stumbling toward us. He reeked of alcohol and it was obvious he hadn’t taken a shower. The smell of body odor and sweat seemed like it had seeped permanently into his skin. His hair was disheveled and greasy. “Jesse!” he screamed.

Jesse was beyond angry. His breathing became heavier, louder. I could see it in his eyes. Still, he remained calm, eerily calm. I didn’t know what to do, so I just stood there and watched it, like those people who slow down at car accidents.

“What do you want?” he asked sharply.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” He moved closer to him, nearly tumbling forward. I don’t know how he was able to maintain his balance.

“Because we’re through. You and me are done,” he said.

Hank saw me and slowly moved in my direction, standing inches away from me– completely invading my personal space. He placed his callused, rough, sweaty hands on my arms, gripping a little too hard. “Make him talk to me, Finn. He’ll listen to you,” he said desperately, shaking me at the same time. His eyes were heavily dilated–black pupils enveloped his light blue eyes.

I shook my arms to try to get him to let go and turned my head in Jesse’s direction. Fear was written all over my face.

“Dad! Get your hands off of her!” Jesse shouted, rushing over to me.

“Make him talk to me, Finn,” Hank pleaded to me.

“I can’t,” I said, holding back the tears. And I couldn’t. I couldn’t make Jesse do anything.

“Let go of her,” Jesse demanded and grabbed Hank’s hands, forcing them to release their grasp on my arms. His finger prints were still imprinted on my arms.

Hank peered down at his hands, realizing what he had done to me.

“Sorry,” he said to me.

“Leave, Dad,” Jesse commanded. “Just go,” his tone a little softer, more hurt.

Hank staggered in the opposite direction, away from us. Where he went I don’t know. I was a mixture of emotions: sad for Jesse; angry at Hank for drinking again; and sorry that they were a broken family. All of it was too much to witness. I wanted to cry but fought back the tears. Crying wouldn’t make it easier; it wouldn’t make it better for Jesse.

He squeezed the back of his neck. “You okay?” he asked.

Me. Why was he asking if I was okay? Hank wasn’t my father.

“I’m sorry he grabbed you like that. He never used to be like that when he drank. Since he started drinking again...” he shook his head, “he’s changed so much,” he said, his expression grim.

“I’m fine,” I lied. I was a little shaken and wasn’t going to tell him that. How would that help? “Maybe you could try to get him to stop again.”

He shook his head and gave me a look of absolute disgust. “He’s never gonna stop, Finn. I gave up on him months ago,” he said. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine, Jesse. Are you?” I asked, because I knew if I were him I wouldn’t be.

“I’m good. I’ll see you later, Finn.” He gave me a faint smile, but his eyes said something else.

“Bye, Jesse.” I went to my car, opened the door and sat down. I turned all the air conditioning vents on me even though cool air didn’t blow out. I blasted the radio and sat there trying to calm down. I looked over to my left and Jesse was still standing in the parking lot waiting for me to leave.

***

I called Lou like Jesse had suggested. He said he’d be at the diner the next morning. The diner would have to be closed for a day, but without a cook, there was no way I could’ve opened it anyway. I still hadn’t solved the other problem I had–not enough waitresses. I thought about placing an ad on Craigslist, but that could take weeks to find someone. I decided to call the only person I knew who could help–Sidney.

Sidney’s poor study habits and habitual appetite for partying helped her grade point average drop low enough to place her on academic probation. While everyone else was off for the summer, she was stuck at Harrison attending summer school for a month-long “mini-mester.”

“What are you doing?” I asked her.

She sighed. “Studying, what else. This sucks! I swear no one fun is left on campus.”

“How would you like to come back to Graceville?”

“My ass is glued here for another two days, Finn. I’m studying for this frickin’ final right now. Ugh!”

“I know,” I said. “What I mean is, I’ve decided to run my grandfather’s diner for a while, at least until my Nana finds a buyer. I don’t have enough waitresses and really need some help.”

“You’re running the diner all by yourself? That’s brave.”

“I don’t know about that,” I said. Really, I was scared out of my wits. I don’t think that made me brave. It actually may have made me a little insane. “Would you be interested?”

“Hmm,” she said. “The offer is tempting. Let’s see, work the rest of my summer break with my friend or stay with ‘The Bickersons’, my emo sister, and crazy-ass grandfather who walks around in his boxers and nothing else. Decisions, decisions,” she said sarcastically.

“So, are you in?”

“Do you even need me to answer? The answer is yes, Finn! Of course I will help you. I don’t know how great I’ll be at waitressing, though, you know what I mean?”

“You’ll be fine. If I can do it, I know you can. Thank you, Sidney,” I cooed. “I owe you big time.”

“I’ll remember you said that.” She laughed. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

“Keep on studying,” I ordered.

“It’s all I do.” She sighed.

“See you soon.”

“Bye, Finn.”

***

Lou’s military background made him prompt. He arrived at the diner before I did. Once I saw him, I remembered meeting him at the funeral and questioned how I could ever forget him. He leaned against his blue El Camino, smoking a cigar. He was a large man–not obese, but one of those big and tall guys that has to shop at the specialty stores. He was wearing a yellow t-shirt with Margaritaville written on it, khaki shorts, and white tennis shoes without socks. A black eye patch covered his left eye. I don’t know how he lost his eye, but I was sure there was a story there. He evoked adventure.

“Hi, Lou,” I said as I got out of my car. The smell of cigar smoke lingered in the air. He took one last puff and put it out and then placed it in his front pocket.

“Saving her for later,” he said, tapping his pocket. “Hey, Finn.” He shook my hand. His grip was firm. “So, how about we go take a look at the kitchen?”

He followed me to the door and I unlocked it, turning on the lights as we stepped inside.

“I haven’t been here in a while. Still looks the same,” he said, staring at everything.

He folded his arms against his chest and stood with his legs wide apart and said, “Your grandfather and I used to cause some serious chaos.” My eyes widened in surprise. “I’m surprised we didn’t get arrested with all our shenanigans,” he said and smiled reflectively before quickly jumping back into the present. “Okay, enough of this chit chat. Show me the kitchen.” I was curious about the hell he and Grandpa used to cause, but knew that Lou definitely wasn’t one for small talk.

He poked his head in the refrigerator, through the pantry, opened and closed the oven, and then touched the grill and ran water from the sink. “It’s clean in here. I like clean,” he said. “Good size, too. Layout’s decent.” He raised his upper lip to his nose.

Lou had a sea captain’s accent. I pictured him wearing a yellow rain jacket and hat, standing on a wharf, hollering curse words at fishermen.

“I can work with this.” He nodded his head once in a swift movement showing his approval. “Okay. I’ll do it,” he said.

“Great!” I said enthusiastically.

“I can start in a couple of days. I’ve got a quick trip planned already,” he said. “Don’t get too excited, yet. We’ll have to see how it goes. After a day, you may not want me around, or vice versa. But, if you’re anything like Charlie, we’ll get along just fine.” He extended his hand and I shook it. Maybe Lou had interviewed me more than I him, but I still had the feeling like I had just made my first big decision regarding the diner, and I liked it. It gave me a boost of confidence.

***

A day later, Sidney arrived at my grandparents’ house driving up in her black BMW. I ran out to greet her and hugged her as soon as she got out of her car.

“Geez, Finn, you’d think we hadn’t seen each other in years,” she joked and pulled me closer to her and then let me go. “You’d think that a drive from Georgia would be quick. These mountain roads take forever, you know what I mean?”

She clicked a button and her trunk opened. Two large suitcases rested side-by-side, taking up all the room in the small, confined space. I grabbed a hold of one to take it out and immediately dropped it on the ground.

“What did you pack in here?” I groaned. I moved my wrist in circular motion, touching it with my other hand.

“Everything I had in our dorm room, Finn. I couldn’t leave it there,” she said. “There’s more in the backseat.”

I moved away from the trunk and looked in her backseat window. Two small suitcases and a cosmetic bag laid across the entire backseat. “You know we’re working most days in a uniform, right?”

“Finn, unlike you, I actually have a wardrobe and don’t like wearing t-shirts and jeans everyday,” she teased. “Besides, if the boys look anything like that Jesse of yours, then I have to make sure I look good.”

I glowered at her. “He’s not my Jesse.”

“Still in the river of de-Nile are you?” She sighed. “Whatevs.”

“There’s nothing to deny. We broke up,” I stated.

“I’m not going to stand out here and argue about this. Let’s get my stuff and go inside,” she said.

We unpacked her things in the guest room and then put on our pj’s and headed to the kitchen. We had some catching up to do and planned to stay up late and talk for a while.

Sidney opened the refrigerator door. “No pineapple casserole?” she said with disappointment.

“We stopped getting casseroles a while ago,” I said. “After a while, people forget and move on with their lives.”

“None of those pies you’ve been raving about?” she said, still scanning the contents in the refrigerator.

“No, Nana hasn’t made any since my grandfather died. I’m hoping she’ll make some for the movie night next weekend.”

“Doesn’t this just suck. That pineapple casserole thing and those pies you keep raving about are all I thought about on the drive here.” She shut the refrigerator door and sat down across from me with a disappointed expression.

“I can make a PB and J,” I offered.

“That’ll have to do,” she said. “For now anyways,” she added with a smile.

I slathered peanut butter and grape jelly onto two slices of bread and brought them over to her. She took a bite and chewed.

Nana came into the kitchen. “I’m going to bed girls,” she said to us.

“Night,” I said to her.

Sidney quickly swallowed. “Goodnight Lilly. Are you making any pies soon?” she asked. I kicked her under the table. “What?” she mouthed to me.

Nana laughed. “Maybe,” she said.

“That’d be great because that’s all Finn talked about at school,” she said to her. “And I’ve been wanting to try one ever since.”

“Goodnight you two,” Nana said, ignoring her, and left us alone.

“What’d you kick me for?” She grimaced, holding onto her leg.

“She has to start baking pies on her own terms. Don’t rush her,” I said.

“Sometimes people need a little encouragement,” Sidney said and bit into her sandwich again.