Stages of Grace

Epilogue





It's been seven months since our date on the boat. I've stopped applying to other places, content to work with Ryan. My ease in the office takes a lot of pressure off and lets him concentrate leading tours and managing the equipment. He talked me into moving in with him full time months ago. We still have dinner almost every night at Kate's. She's been teaching me how to knit different things. Figuring out how to use circular needles was not fun.

I now know how to make hats, infinity scarves, leg warmers, and fingerless gloves. The idea of an Etsy store ignited something in me the moment Jack suggested it. I spend my free time researching other stores to get an idea of what's successful and what isn’t, I’m not very tech savvy, but Jennifer loves that kind of stuff, and during down time at work, explains different websites and how they can work together to save me time. One example is creating a Facebook entity page and linking it to a Twitter page. Whatever is posted on the Facebook page can automatically post to Twitter. One post, two websites.

Jennifer is also helping me design a theme to use for my Etsy page. It isn’t live yet, but I've created an account. It took me some time to decide what to name my store. I finally decided on Cuyahoga Knits as a way to include my parents in my present. The idea came to me one day while Ryan and I were driving into work. He had the radio on an 80s station and an REM song I'd never heard came on. I couldn't believe what I was hearing: a song about the Cuyahoga. I turned up the volume, listening to the lyrics. I grew up in Cleveland, so I knew Cuyahoga was an Indian term for crooked, a perfect description of the many bends of the river.

The song spoke of preserving what we have before it's too late. It felt symbolic of the relationship I'd built with Kate. I've learned so much about her, my mother, and myself in coming down here. I’m still learning so many things every day. There was a point during the creation of the Etsy store account that made me reflective. Just after hitting the submit button an additional warning came up. Are you sure?

Am I sure? I wondered to myself. So many things have changed in my life: the visit, then the move, Kate, Ryan, and learning to knit. Am I sure about any of it? No more hesitation, I'm sure, no matter what happens.

I smile and look at Ryan sleeping next to me.

"Honey, wake up," I nudge his shoulder.

He mumbles something and crawls onto me, nibbling my neck.

Oh, that feels good. "But our flight."

His hips press against mine, and I'm gone. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his lips down to mine. It's a good thing I set our alarm thirty minutes early. After Ryan has thoroughly ravished me, I convince him to take a shower while I double-check my bags for the hundredth time. He calls from the bathroom once he's out of the shower. I pause in the doorway to admire him. He's shaving. I don’t mind him scruffy, but he wants to look nice today. He catches my eye in the mirror and winks.

I hurry into the shower, patting him on the rear as I pass. Once I'm ready, I help Ryan and Jennifer load our bags into her car. Her only request for taking us to and picking us up from the airport is to be allowed to boss Darrell around while we're gone. Ryan agreed since she'll do it whether he tells her she can or not.

My stomach is a bundle of nerves on the way to the airport. Ryan's a pro, getting our bags checked and us through security. We eat breakfast at the gate and are in the first group to board.

Once we're seated, Ryan looks at me. "Are you alright?"

I turn to face Ryan and nod. I'm nervous. Not only are we on our way to meet his family, but the only other time I've flown anywhere was to Tampa. For this trip, we have two layovers, one in Dallas and the second in Sydney, before ending up in Christchurch. We're going to be in the air for over twenty-two hours from Dallas to Sydney. That alone is overwhelming. Getting my passport was an ordeal but now that we're seated, I'm trying to relax.

Besides worrying about the flight, I'm stressing about meeting Ryan's family. I want them to like me. Ryan thinks I'm silly to even worry, but I can't help it. Kate is my entire family, and she had already adored him before we even met. I lift the window shade and look out. Since our journey will be so long, Ryan had sprung for first class seats. I think the expense is too much, but he wants us (me) to be comfortable. He hopes we can sleep most of the way to Australia. Ryan reaches over to take my hand in his and kisses it. I can't help but smile at him. He's so excited about taking me to his home.

Kate has a theory he's going to propose on the trip. If he does, I know I'll say yes. I just can't imagine my life without him. Once we're back from New Zealand, I plan on inviting Nikita down for a visit to see my new home.

For me, waking up in Ryan's arms everyday has been a dream. We still have dinner most nights with Kate since neither of us is much of a cook. Samuel, a widower from her church, has been joining us recently. Kate won't admit it, but I think she really likes him. I can't wait to hear how their dinners go while Ryan and I are away.

I reach into my carryon to pull out my latest project. Ryan didn't believe me when I told him you can carry on knitting needles. I checked online to be sure and packed wooden needles just in case.

He leans over to kiss my cheek. I pause to look at him, my Ryan. My life is so different now. My path to where I am today was not easy, but sitting here, next to the man I love, the man who has become my partner and who challenges me to go after what I want in life, I know I’m where I'm supposed be.

“Is this real?” I tease.

He leans down, kisses my forehead, and says, “Yes Grace, very real.”



The End