Pieces of Truth

Chapter 17

The Past

~ ~ ~

Josh and I slowly opened the door to my father’s basement office, which was on the lower floor of our triple-story apartment. “Should we be in here Nor? You’ve told me certain places are off limits in your apartment, and this feels like one of them.”

“It’s alright Josh. My Dad’s guys think I’m at your place, and I know my Dad is out all afternoon. You know I need a re-fill,” I said, walking in.

“And this is the place to get one?” Josh stilled in the doorway. I went over and took his hand. His feet were still planted on the floor, but as I thumbed his hand with mine, he moved forward, following me in.

“OK, but make it quick. I don’t want to disrespect your Dad. He might stop us being friends and that’s the last thing I want. You know we have a history paper due tomorrow, we should be working on that, at my place.”

I started to scan the room. I had only been down here a handful of times. My father’s requests were very precise, and he specifically told me never to come in here unless he requested me to do so. I never questioned it, of course. I’d seen a number of men journey into this room, and never come out. I didn’t want to imagine what went on behind this closed door.

“Do you really think he keeps that stuff in here, in your home?” Josh asked. I turned and gave him a stupid look.

“Yes, I think I’ll find what we are looking for in here.” I walked around a steel-looking desk and chair. The steel desk reminded me of something that would be in a butcher’s kitchen. The floor was also plastic-looking, like hard linoleum. It smelled like cleaner fluid. There were a number of small coat cupboards that lined the back wall, which were also steel and slatted along the doors, and there were also locked filing cabinets on the other side. I went over to one of the filing cabinets and stuck my hand behind it.

“What are you doing Norah?” Josh watched me curiously as I strained to reach behind.

“Getting the key of course.” I brought my hand back from behind the cabinet, holding a shiny magnetic key. Josh’s eyes blazed at me, as I held up the little metal object. He looked even more worried, probably thinking about that key, and what it kept locked up.

“C’mon Norah. Let’s get out of here. I don’t feel right about this.” He looked back to the door we came in from.

“God Josh, for a sixteen year old guy, you are acting like a frightened six year old.” I put the key into one of the cabinet’s keyholes and turned. It popped open, and I pulled it towards me, giving me access to what was inside.

“Ahhh, here we go.” I reached in and pulled out a box of bullets. “See, I told you he had some.” I held the box out to show Josh I was right.

“You know Norah, I don’t know what’s more disturbing. The fact your Dad has boxes of bullets in your house, or the fact we are spending a Sunday night hunting for bullets.”

I groaned, and stuffed the box of bullets into my shoulder bag. I then pushed the cabinet back closed, and locked it.

“You are the one that gave me the gun Josh. You are the one that said I had to conquer my fears. And now that I have, and have grown fond of it, you’ve become all uppity. Stop being such a girl. I love the gun. I need more bullets and now I have some. Case closed.”

I reached around and put the key back into its position, but as I did, I dropped my bag to the floor and a bullet escaped, rolling over to where Josh was standing. We both watched as it came to rest near Josh’s shoe.

“F*ck Norah. If anyone heard that, we would be...”

Suddenly we both froze. We could hear voices on the other side of the door. Josh’s eyes almost exploded out of his head. I swallowed, unable to move. Josh then reached over to me and motioned towards one of the steel closets. I gathered up my bag as we scrambled inside one to hide. Josh was standing right behind me, his hard chest up against the back of my shoulders. The small space meant that our bodies were pressed up closer to each other in a way we never had experienced before. I could feel the tension as we both held our breath. The slats gave us an obstructed vision into the room, but it was enough to see the movement and my Dad and his men walking in.

“Shit the bullet!” I said, in a frantic hushed voice. Josh put his hands on my waist and moved forward, leaning so his mouth was on my ear.

“Shhh. We cannot get caught Norah. Shhh please.”

I nodded in the dark confined space. Josh still had his hands on my hips. He had never touched me like this before. Our friendship was always so defined as just a friendship and I never let myself to think about it as more. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t. Boyfriends were chased off regularly by my father. He was extremely protective and didn’t trust any teenage suitors. I didn’t blame him though. He almost lost me a few years back to a rival group and since then, became more paranoid about who I let into my life. He did however, let me keep Josh. I don’t know what separated Josh from the rest. I know my Dad would have investigated his background thoroughly, not that it was an issue, but he seemed to let me have my friendship with Josh. He never discouraged it, and allowed me to see him as often as I liked.

Perhaps it was because Josh was the only person to befriend me when I first started private school, and he was as sincere and as genuine as they come. Or perhaps it was because my Dad saw how much Josh and I connected and got along, and he really wanted me to have that with someone. Whatever the reason, my Dad allowed my friendship with Josh to grow and grow. I had always been very grateful for that. Deep down, I knew my Dad was allowing me some semblance of normality.

Now having Josh so close to me, his hands on my hips, I was having feelings of something different. Attraction. I mean, I always felt a spark for Josh. I did since the moment I met him. It was hard not to with that infectious cheeky smile, and glimmering green eyes. He made me grin the moment I laid eyes on him. It didn’t help that he had such a charming personality to go with his delicious-looking exterior, but I knew that if I wanted to keep him, I had to set boundaries.

But there weren’t any boundaries right now. The spark that I kept on a low burn somewhere deep inside me, was now smoke and flames as his hands on my body set me alight. It didn’t help that with the intensity radiating from our close proximity, we were both scared out of our brains, thinking we might be found out at any second. We knew it could mean the end of our friendship. With our new-found attraction, we were also trembling with fear. It was the oddest and most exciting mix of emotions to be having whilst trapped in a closet.

Through the slanted slats, I could make out at least two men with my Dad, and someone else whose voice I did not recognize.

“Put him in the seat,” my Dad ordered his men. I heard the scraping of steel on the floor and a painful grunt as another man was placed in a chair.

“Nick, Nick, Nick,” my Dad said over and over again. He was purposely trying to instill fear into this man. I could make out that he was leaning on the steel table as he spoke. “You’ve done a good job, planting that information and turning the Carmellos and Duvetts on one another. Your debt to us is almost paid off.”

The man in the chair in the chair began to stammer. “I, I, I did, did, did exactly what you told me to do right. They don’t suspect you at all. They will kill each other. It’s what you wanted, right? I did a good job, right?”

My father’s body pushed off the table and walked around behind the chair. He was thinking, I could tell. But about what? I felt Josh’s hands grip tighter on my body and I moved backwards to be even closer to him. Whatever this situation was, I was taking advantage of it right now with Josh. The moment wouldn’t last much longer, and I knew I had to soak up Josh’s touch so I could store it in my memory for later.

“You know what my secret is Nicky? To being the guy to rule all this, to getting everything I want?” Both of our bodies tensed as we listened intently to my father’s every word. The fact he used the word ‘secret’, made every hair stand up near my ears.

My Dad’s voice was low and edgy like a razor blade, as he gave his answer. “It’s to always look like the good guy, and turn everyone else against each other.”

“Uh, uh, uh OK... Joe. I did that. Did what you wanted. And I did that well. Right?” My father started to pat the man’s back.

“You did Nick. You did a good job. I will come out of that deal a f*cking hero, and much richer now that those heads will go to war with one another.”

“Great Joe. Uh, just great. Can I leave now?” The man tried to move in his chair but two hands came crashing down on his shoulders, holding him securely in place.

“Oh Nicky, did you really think it would be that easy? You can’t be a snitch and do what you did, and think I will just let you go.” My Dad sounded so evil, so menacing. It was the side of him I never wanted to see, and now I was front row and centre for the live show.

“But, but, but Joe, you said I’d live if I did that. I would live. You promised.” There was another sound now, like running water. The man had lost all bodily control in his fear.

“Jesus Nick,” another voice grunted in disgust. I saw feet shuffle away from the man.

“And I meant it Nicky. I am a man of my word. I do intend for you to live.” My Dad had moved away from the seated man to go and stand near his desk.

“I, I don’t understand,” the man whimpered.

“You know too much Nick. And once a snitch, always a snitch.” My Dad waved his hand at his associates. “Hold him down guys.”

The man tried to squirm out of the grasp of the other two men, but they were much stronger, and the man’s attempt to free himself from their grasp became futile. “What’s going on Joe? You said you wouldn’t kill me. You said...”

I heard flesh hit flesh. The man in the chair had been punched hard in the gut. I could hear him moaning and see his body topple forward and onto the ground. My Dad’s men picked him up and put him back on the chair.

“I’m not killing you Nicky. You’ll keep your life. That I promised you.”

There was shuffling again. This time my Dad spoke in his most terrifying voice. “Ian, remove his tongue.”

The men came up behind the chair which shifted again, and now my view from the slats changed so I could now see the man’s face in the chair. My Dad’s guys held him down, and the man called Ian withdrew a small pocket knife from his pants.

I tried to scream, and as if knowing exactly what I was about to do, Josh’s hand lifted and clamped over my mouth and he pulled me as hard as he could against his body. He moved so he turned my face as much as possible, trying to change my line of sight so I couldn’t watch the horror. The screams from outside the door intensified. Finally Josh leaned down and whispered into my ear, “Close your eyes.”

Tears streamed down my face and onto Josh’s hand as the screams of this man, who was having a part of his body cut from him, engulfed the whole room. The screams echoed in me and all around me. Josh held my shaking and terrified body, and didn’t let me go.

We must have waited in that closet for an hour. The sounds of the screaming eventually stopped and changed to an odd crying sound, and eventually my Dad gave the men orders to take Nick to ‘the doctor’ but it was their doctor, not a doctor at the hospital. When we were sure they were gone, we opened the closet door.

The first thing we saw was a steel chair, surrounded by a pool of blood.

Blood, more blood. More death. More pain. Memories of when I was taken, burst into my head, and my legs started to give out as I tried to walk forward and run from the room. As my legs began to buckle underneath me, Josh scooped me up and carried me from the room. He had seen me becoming weak before I hit the floor. I looked at Josh like my hero, as he carried me out and up to my bedroom, on the upper level of the apartment.

“The blood Josh…his tongue...I can’t get air...into...my...lungs.” I wanted to pass out from the massive head spin I was having. My eyes slammed shut as dark, evil thoughts were spiraling out of control and into my mind and body.

Josh lay me on the bed. “Breathe Norah. Just breathe. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you. Open your eyes.”

I found the strength to force my eyes open and I saw the green ovals of Josh’s eyes. Warm, sweet, calming. I didn’t understand how he could be so calm, but he was. I wondered if he was putting on a brave face just for me? My breathing slowed. “I don’t know if I can handle any more of this Josh. I don’t know if I can keep pushing this aside and burying it deep inside me. I think I’m going to fall hard into a black hole that I won’t be able to crawl out of.”

“Norah, I will never let you fall. I will always pick you up. Don’t let this ruin you.” Josh seemed so composed, so strong. His only worry was me, and making sure I was alright. Josh crawled onto my bed to sit beside me.

“Josh, please hold me,” I pleaded, as I lay in a fetal position. Josh and I had hugged before, but not on a bed, spooning. He laid down next to me, pulling my body in against his. Josh’s arm rested on my stomach and his head on my shoulder. His body holding onto mine was exactly what I needed to find some calm and to slow the rapid pain building in my head. He tightened his grip around my body as he pulled me closer to him. The boundaries where we kept our friendship at arm’s length were pulled down, and now our friendship had moved into something much more emotional, deep and connected.

The lines had started to blur.