Marriage Matters

Seventy-two

The next day, Chloe took her last exam, had her interview with the children’s hospital and went to June’s. Letting herself in through the front door, she called up the stairs, “Grandma, are you home?” The Christmas tree was lit and the lights on the tree were dancing but the house was quiet.

“She’s at Charley’s,” Chloe heard from upstairs. “But I’m here.”

Chloe gripped the railing, relieved. In between breaks, she had tried to call her mother again and again, but the phone went straight to voicemail. Racing up the steps, she burst into the guest bedroom. Kristine was lying in bed, wrapped in at least five different blankets, listlessly reading a book on Venice.

Perching on the edge of the bed, Chloe felt those familiar springs dip beneath her weight. When she was a child, she used to bounce up and down on this bed. June had probably had the same mattress since the sixties. “Mom, you didn’t call me back. I was worried.”

“I’m sorry.” Kristine slid off her reading glasses and rubbed her eyes. They were vaguely bloodshot and Chloe wondered if she’d even slept. “I thought June texted you that I was here.”

“She did. That’s why I came.” Chloe swallowed hard. “No vow renewals for you and Dad? For sure?”

Kristine didn’t answer. She turned a page in the book, studying the pictures. Chloe reached out and took it from her, like taking a toy from Mary Beth.

“Look at me. Are you guys getting . . .” Chloe took a deep breath then forced herself to say the word. “Divorced?”

Kristine fixed her eyes at a point on the wall. Blinking, she said, “Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Mom, you have to talk to him.” Chloe’s heart was breaking for her father. He’d been calling her nonstop since that morning, after he’d talked to her mother. Yes, he worked too hard. Yes, he was gone all the time. But he loved his family. He was desperate to figure out what was going on and how to fix it. “He’s flying home right now. He’ll be here all week, for the wedding. You have to talk to him.”

“I will,” her mother said. “Just not yet.”

“Mom, you have to. You have to work this—”

“We’ve tried to work it out,” her mother said. “I’ve told him exactly how I feel, I’ve told him what needs to change.” She shook her head. “People don’t change, though, Chloe. Relationships just do.”

Chloe bit her lip. That was true. In the beginning, her relationship with Geoff had been filled with promise. That changed as time went on and slowly, she realized he was not the right fit. Maybe that’s what had happened with her parents, too. The thought made her feel as though she was being torn in two.

“I’m sorry.” Kristine took Chloe’s hand. “I’m sorry we’re doing this now, when you’re getting married, when June’s getting married. But,” she let out a little sigh, “in spite of appearances, it is possible to have a long, healthy and happy marriage. You and Geoff will be able to do that. I know you will.”

“No,” Chloe said. “Actually, I don’t think we would have been able to do that. Which is why . . .” She took a deep breath and held up her left hand. “I called off the engagement.”

* * *

Breaking off her engagement was one of the most surreal experiences of Chloe’s life.

As she walked through the doors of Geoff’s building, the attendant said, “Hello, Miss,” just like always. This time, though, Chloe noticed things she hadn’t seen before. A small mole next to his ear, the way the strap on his hat bit into the skin on his neck, the tiny dent on his brass name tag.

Passing through the lobby, she noticed the sound of her boots scuffing across the floor. The large potted plant placed under the bright white buttons of the elevator and the fact that the fake leaves were perfectly dusted. That, even though the elevator arrived quickly, the clicks up to the fifty-second floor seemed slow and precise.

Time went back to normal when Geoff opened the door. His bright green eyes looked sleepy and confused. “Everything all right?” He was dressed in a pair of striped pajamas, no ascot in sight.

“I’d . . . I’d like to talk for a minute.”

Geoff looked at his watch. He nodded and moved aside, then sat next to her on the couch. They studied each other for a long moment, tension thick in the room.

“Your messages yesterday.” The words came out sounding much shorter than she’d planned. “They were awful. Why?”

Geoff rubbed his hand against his cheek. Dropping it with a thud, he said, “I apologize. I was frustrated I couldn’t get ahold of you but it all worked out. Miriam took Mary Beth for the afternoon.”

“Yeah.” Chloe nodded. “Which is great. But . . . Geoff. I can’t help but notice. Things have been different between us, ever since she’s come back.”

Geoff turned to her. There was a crease in the middle of his forehead and his green eyes were cautious. “Why are you so threatened by her?”

“I’m not threatened,” Chloe said, meaning it. “In fact, I think it’s good that she came back when she did.” Taking a deep breath, she reached into her coat pocket and placed the box with the engagement ring on the coffee table. “I’m sorry.”

Geoff’s eyes darted from the box to her naked ring finger, then back to the blue box. He made a sputtering sound before saying, “Now, hold on. What is this all about? I’m not about to let Miriam come back and ruin—”

“It’s not about her,” Chloe said, her voice quiet. “It’s about me.” With a pang, she thought back to the first moment she’d laid eyes on Geoff, speaking to her school. The way she’d been so impressed by him, so in awe. “Our relationship . . . it’s not going to work.”

“All because of a few messages?” he demanded.

A picture of Ben’s laughing blue eyes danced through her head.

“It’s not the messages,” Chloe said. “Or the fact that you expected me to drop everything to take care of your child or that your ex-wife is in town and that you deserve the chance to put your family back together.” She thought back to the beginning of their relationship. The way Geoff had encouraged her to get out and enjoy her life. “We were right for each other, for a while,” she said. “But not forever.”

Geoff sat in silence with his shoulders slumped. His hair was neatly gelled into place, his profile strong and handsome. She remembered how they’d first met, him singing his heart out in his office, wearing just those green sweatpants. If her heart wasn’t aching, she might have smiled at the memory.

Reaching over, she touched his knee. “I’m so sorry.”

He shook his head. “No, I . . . You’re right. I . . .” Putting his face in his hands, he whispered, “I think I still have feelings for her.” He looked at Chloe, his face stricken with guilt.

At his words, Chloe’s eyes filled with tears.

Geoff’s face fell. “No, please don’t cry. I would have married you—”

“No, no. It’s . . .” Letting out a shaky breath, she looked out at the skyline of Chicago. There were so many windows, so many lights, so many people. It broke her heart to think that she and Geoff had found each other, shared something special and almost turned it into something so wrong.

Chloe thought of her wedding dress, that moment she’d stood in front of the mirror. She tried to imagine walking down the aisle, saying “I do” to Geoff but she couldn’t see it. Not at all.

“We almost made a huge mistake,” she said. “For two people who are so smart, I can’t believe we almost did something so stupid.”

Geoff stared at his hands for a long moment. Then, he reached over and pulled her in tight. The relief coursing through them was palpable.