Leave Me Breathless

Chapter Twenty-Four


Mezzanine Music wasn’t a place Macy ever had reason to visit. Hopefully that would never change, because after today, she might be banned for life.

“What does she drive?” she asked Candace over the phone, staring at the building as she sat in her Acadia and mustered her nerve.

“Actually, I don’t know.”

No way of determining if Raina was working today, then, without going in to find out. Cornering the girl at her job wasn’t the smartest way to handle this; she knew that. But there weren’t any other options. She didn’t know where she lived, and neither did Candace without asking someone and blowing the whistle on Macy’s plan. Besides, any meeting with this girl needed to be at least somewhat public so Macy didn’t end up decapitated in a ditch somewhere.

She smirked at the thought, absently surveying the large windows of the music shop. No sign of multicolored hair in there. “There’s a big Dermamania flyer in the window.”

“Yeah, Brian and the owner are friends. We trade advertising. He got Raina the job there when she first moved to town.”

“Is there anyone Brian isn’t friends with?”

“My parents?”

“Right.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“No, but what else am I going to do? I’m hanging up now.”

“Good luck. If I don’t ever hear from you again, I love ya.”

“Tell the detectives who I was meeting.”

“Got it.”

Well, here goes nothing. She left the safety of her car, unwilling to sit there long enough to see if the girl ever ventured outside for a break or a smoke or something. If she was even working.

And she was. As Macy pulled open the front door to a pleasant-sounding chime, Raina glanced over from the counter at the end of the large room, and Macy had the intense satisfaction of seeing her expression deflate a split second before the accustomed sneer appeared. It really was an unattractive look for such a pretty girl, but she didn’t give a shit. She would feel sorry for Seth, but it was his own fault for putting up with it as long as he had.

“What do you want?” Raina’s whiplash question turned the heads of a couple of guys checking out the guitars hanging on the wall.

“I’d like to have a word with you.”

Raina extended her arms to indicate their surroundings, giving Macy the “Hello?” voice as she said, “I’m at work right now?”

“I realize that. So let’s set up a time and place for later—public, please—and I’ll leave.”

“No. I don’t have anything to say to you.”

Macy crossed her arms. “That may be, but I have plenty to say to you. I can say it here and now, if you like. I bet I can say an awful lot before I get thrown out, and probably things you don’t want anyone to hear.”

A long-haired guy stuck his head out the door behind the counter, frowning at Raina and looking Macy up and down. “Is there a problem?”

Must be Brian’s friend. But she wouldn’t name-drop; she’d reserve that in case Raina said there was a big freaking problem and to throw Macy out on her ear. Surprisingly, she didn’t do that, blowing out a gusty sigh instead. “I need a few minutes, Dave. Is that all right?”

“Take it outside.”

Raina made barely an effort to walk around Macy as she headed for the front door, knocking into her shoulder. Such class. But she had accosted her at work, so maybe she wasn’t much better. And she’d told Seth she had left the fighting-over-a-guy thing behind in middle school. Ha.

Granted, she hadn’t been around Raina many times, but she struck her as the kind of girl who had a constant air of exasperation about her, as if the world and its annoyances were exhausting. Now was no different, as she walked to the edge of the building and turned to face Macy. “All right. Talk.”

“You’re going to tell me what happened in that room. The truth.”

“Oh, really. Hearing the gory details about me sucking off your man turns you on or something?” Her lips curled in a catlike smile. “Mmm. It does me, just thinking about it.”

“See, here’s the thing. I don’t believe you. So unless you convince me otherwise right now, I really have no choice but to go with what he says. He says you’re a liar.”

“Yeah, he would, wouldn’t he? And you’re full of shit, because you know I’m right. It’s like I told you. He’s got a hard-on for girls like you, maybe, but he knows where to come when he wants to get f*cked. Do you need another demonstration?”

“If you’re so convinced it’s you he wants to spend the rest of his life with, then where is he, Raina? Why isn’t he with you? And if by another demonstration, you mean you’re going to try again to practically sexually assault someone who’s half unconscious, then no, I’m sure none of us need to see that again. It’s kind of illegal, you know.”

Raina’s jaw clenched, her lips trembling. Whether she was about to leap for Macy’s throat or burst into tears, she couldn’t tell. But that look told her everything she needed to know. “That’s not how it was.”

“Wasn’t it? Look,” Macy went on, “I want you to know that I realize you and he went through some really emotional stuff together, all right? I’m not unsympathetic to that. I can see where it would be hard to let go, but—”

“It’s none of your f*cking business.”

“He’s my business. He’s no longer your business. It would tickle me pink if you would go back to where you came from, but since you’re not smart enough to know when you’re not wanted, I’m telling you straight, and in language you can understand.” She stepped closer, almost nose to nose with the other girl. “Stay. The f*ck. Away from—”

Raina’s arm jerked up. Macy was ready for even that lightning-quick move, knocking her hand aside before it could connect with her cheek, keeping a tight hold on Raina’s narrow wrist. “—him,” she finished. “I might look like a wimpy rich bitch, Raina, but I only look that way. I know people. I’ve wrestled animals bigger than you. And I can shoot.”

Raina fumed, her breathing fast and shallow, her pulse racing under Macy’s gripping fingers. But Macy didn’t think she was mistaking the surprise and the hint of fear in her eyes. “Oh, threatening me now?” She didn’t sound nearly as tough as she had moments ago.

“Nope. Not at all. Just advising against any Fatal Attraction-type retaliation measures you might be considering. Seth always said you’re more bark than bite, so I’m hoping we won’t have to deal with any of that. Because I’m telling you, if you come near him like that again, I will go straight country bitch on you.”

When Raina jerked her hand away, Macy let her, still not dropping her guard. But the other girl only lowered her head and crossed her arms over her chest, looking small and suddenly vulnerable. Her big hair only made her seem that much tinier. Here comes the sob story.

But it didn’t come. When Raina lifted her head, her eyes were wet, but all the fight seemed to have gone out of her. “I want you to leave.”

“I want you to move. And I don’t mean from this spot. I mean far away from us. Go back to where you came from.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“I know you were only staying here for him, but you don’t have him, and you never will. There’s nothing for you here but a lot more heartache than you already have.”

“What-f*cking-ever. Can I get back to work now?”

Macy scoffed, thinking that maybe making the girl lose her job so she’d be forced to go back to whatever she had in Austin wasn’t such a bad idea. But she hadn’t sunk that low. Yet. “As long as we have an understanding?”

Raina’s eyes narrowed. They were some indistinguishable color Macy pondered over for a second before deciding they were simply gunmetal gray. Then the mouth below them twisted. “For as long as he keeps you around, anyway.”

She supposed it was as good an acknowledgement as she was going to get. Nodding, she stepped aside and let Raina walk past her. No way would she turn her back on her at this point. Raina didn’t shoulder-check her this time. Maybe it was a good sign.

She watched until the other girl disappeared around the corner of the building…and finally allowed herself to breathe again.

Now for the hard part.



“That movie f*cking sucked, dude.”

“Your face f*cking sucks.”

“That was seriously the worst acting I’ve ever seen in a movie that didn’t show tits during the opening credits.”

Brian had to lift his needle to laugh at Ghost’s assessment or risk maiming his client. Ghost grinned, keeping his own focus on coloring inside the line. And off Macy.

He’d been through this shit before; he knew it would get better with time. But at least back then he’d had the luxury of Brooke being gone. As it was, every time the door chimed as someone came in, he dreaded looking up, knowing he was about to suffer stomach-crushing disappointment when it wasn’t Macy, or the utter devastation of seeing her face. His fear of seeing indifference there when the time came—and he couldn’t avoid her forever—kept him awake at night.

Oh, he could function. He kept up appearances; he wore the mask. Only Brian and Candace were privy to the fact something wasn’t right…well, hell, for all he knew, everyone was by now. If they were, they didn’t say anything.

He didn’t know how much longer he could keep it up before he packed everything he could haul in his backseat and lit out of town in the middle of the night. Before he said f*ck it, f*ck it all. He’d start over somewhere else, away from Macy, away from Raina’s f*cking insanity. Not a day went by that Raina didn’t text or try to call, leaving voice mails pleading for him to meet up with her. He’d change his number if he wasn’t afraid that Macy might try to call him.

Not that he believed in miracles or anything.

“Come on, it wasn’t that bad,” Brian said, still hung up on the crap movie.

“Then I’d hate to see what you consider bad.”

And on it went, the parlor chatter shifting from bad movies to commentary on the complaint someone had made about the music. Which led to observations about the different genres of metal and Brian’s usual declaration. “Death growls mostly bore me. Who wants to hear the Cookie Monster? Sing your f*cking lyrics. Put some emotion behind it.”

And Ghost’s usual retaliation. “Aw, I’m sorry. Do you need a hug, emo boy? You know, you might want to cross your legs. Your vagina is showing.”

“Suck my dick.”

“I know you’d like that, but Candace would have to return it first.”

“Burn!” someone proclaimed, and even Brian laughed.

“Look, he doesn’t even deny it.”

Yep, business as usual. He hadn’t lost his snap, but underneath, exhaustion ate at him. That happened when you felt like you had to consciously tell your lungs to keep expanding with air, your heart to keep pumping. Showing a crack in his exterior would be a good way to get eaten alive by this crew, though. When Brian had been torn up over Candace, at least he’d had the luxury of being the boss. No one had f*cked with him; they simply avoided him. Ghost didn’t have that protection.

He finished up with his client, forgoing the aftercare instructions because the dude was one of his regulars; he knew the drill. The guy was heading toward the door when it opened and a girl breezed in. Ghost saw her from the corner of his eye, but even before he looked up and verified that it was her, all the oxygen left the room. Turning immediately away and putting on the show of straightening his station, he tried to drag in what breath he could.

“S’up, Macy?” Brian said.

Her purposeful steps were coming closer. Shit.

“I just need him,” she said.

Him? As in…me?

He couldn’t help it. He turned to face her, preparing himself for the shock of seeing her again, but it wasn’t possible. That damn sure wasn’t indifference on her face. She looked at him, only at him, like she wanted to crawl inside him—or maybe that was damn wishful thinking on his part. But the spark in her eyes and the color in her cheeks… He knew that look. He’d given it to her before himself.

“Do you have a minute?” she asked as she reached him, small voice at odds with the purpose etched on her delicate features. He wanted to take that face in his hands, kiss those lips until they were plump and red, but he had to keep his cool. F*ck, the whole place was watching. Candace had even ventured out from the back and moved to Brian’s side, the two of them exchanging little secretive smiles.

“Sure,” he said with a shrug. “Come on.”

He led her back to the room where she’d asked him to take her on their first date, flipping on the light and closing the door. “What’s up?”

She didn’t answer right away, fingering a lock of her hair and looking at him so closely he shifted uncomfortably under the weight of the stare. Something was…different about her. He couldn’t put his finger on it.

“Heard you quit your band.”

That wasn’t what he’d expected. “Yeah.”

“Thought you told me you’d never let anything make you quit doing what you love.”

“Guess I didn’t love it that much anymore.”

“Is that really the reason?”

“Yes, Macy, it is.” God, she looked beautiful. And smelled beautiful. Shit, she’d never looked or smelled more beautiful. He took a deep breath, hoping it would bring some f*cking clarity. It only brought more of her scent. “It wasn’t so much the band or the experience as the people. They were starting to be a drain on me. And the Raina thing…it wasn’t cool.”

“Then I’m glad you cut it loose,” she said simply.

“Okay. Are we done catching up on me now?” He edged toward the door. If he didn’t get away from her soon, he couldn’t be held accountable for what he was about to do—which was shove her against the wall and kiss her for the next few hours. Days. Whatever. He wasn’t sure yet that was what she was here for.

“I went to see her. Raina.”

Thoughts, meet brick wall. He froze. “You… Come again?”

“I went to her job.” She smirked. “Thought I was going to get thrown out, but…we talked. We cleared some things up.”

“You. Talked to Raina.”

“I did.”

“And there was no bloodshed, flying fur, ER visits…?”

She crossed her arms. “I resent the implication that I can’t conduct myself in a civil manner.”

“I’m implying that Raina can’t conduct herself—”

“Oh, she took a swing, I threatened to shoot her…typical girl stuff.”

“Holy shit.” He stared at her in absolute awe. “You gotta be f*cking with me.”

She put her hands on her hips. “Well, that’s what it was going to take, right? You couldn’t very well rough her up or threaten her—that would be frowned upon. Me, however… I will make her spit teeth, and I doubt many people would blame me.”

He’d jumped the gun earlier. Now she was more beautiful than he’d ever seen her. That’s what was different about her. She looked ferocious, still riding her adrenaline high. “So…don’t think I’m not impressed, but…what did you do that for, exactly?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“With you? Babe, nothing with you is obvious.” He wondered if she remembered those words from Valentine’s night, saw as she smiled that she did.

“I seem to remember someone lecturing me about fear holding me back. I guess it stuck.” She shook her long, ferocious hair back. “So. Are you scared?”

“A little bit, yeah.”

“Good. Let me scare this into you. You have about as much to worry about from my stupid ex as I have to worry about from yours. Which is zilch. I see that now. So can we both vow to let that rest?”

“Baby, I’ll vow anything you want me to right now.” Where he’d been inching toward escape earlier, he was now crowding her into the corner of the room with his feverish gaze locked on her lips. But her palm came up flat against his chest

“No, wait. Before all the blood drains south of your brain. I mean it. I won’t have jealous outbursts like that.”

“I told you that wouldn’t happen anymore.”

“Just so we’re clear. But other than that, I’m not putting any stipulations on you. I told you what I want out of life, but I want you too.” Her gaze flickered over his face. “However I can have you.”

His heart did flip-flops and sang hallelujah. Maybe they’d continue on like this for years. Maybe, after a few months of her, he’d be like Brian wanting to tear the walls down to marry the woman he loved. Even the thought of an accidental kid or two didn’t induce the panic attack it had with Raina. If ever he were going to reproduce, he couldn’t pick a better person to do it with. “Macy, I can tell you with absolute certainty that no matter how or where you and I end up, you will not have considered it a waste of your time.”

Before he knew it, she’d maneuvered him around and into her former position. Backed in the corner. Her palms met the walls on either side of his shoulders. She looked into his eyes with a directness that murdered any will to resist that might still be cowering in the corner of his brain. And oh, Christ, his cock was already threatening to bust through his fly.

“Promise me that.”

“I should have promised you that the other night. I was just—all f*cked up.” He took a shaky breath. “Yeah. I promise.”

“I get it. And I’m sorry. I should have listened to you.”

“A lot of people probably don’t want us together, you know? I didn’t realize it, or I didn’t give a f*ck before. But now I see, and I don’t care what anyone thinks, but are you sure you—”

She grasped his chin, and his entire mental process shut down. The girl had strong fingers. He couldn’t wait to feel them wrapped around—

“Ghost?”

She f*cking called me Ghost.

“Huh?”

“Shut up.”

And finally, miraculously, she kissed him.



They went to her place because it was closer. Brian had taken one look at them as they emerged from the back, smirked at Ghost’s beseeching “Dude?” and told them to get outta there with a gesture at the door. Candace had grinned from ear to ear.

It almost turned into another frenzied bout of vehicular sex, but somehow they refrained. It was still broad daylight, after all.

As they toppled onto her bed at last, he couldn’t stop smiling as he kissed her.

“What?” she asked when he must’ve begun to look like a psycho.

“I’m happy,” he murmured, pulling up her shirt and gliding his mouth down her body to nip and lick at her midriff. “For the first time in…forever, it seems. I feel lighter.”

Macy sighed, drawing her knees up and bowing her lithe body toward him. “I’m glad.”

It was true. All the pain over his grandmother, it was still there, and he would always miss her. But he also knew he was right where she would want him to be, right where his parents would want him to be, and there was comfort in that.

And perhaps most importantly, for one of the few times in his life, he was right where he wanted to be.

“So you’re not moving away from me?” Macy asked, her voice soft and breathless.

He could almost laugh at the timing of that question. Lifting his head, he let his gaze tangle with hers. “Are you nuts?”

“Well, Candace said…”

“Candace and Brian have listened to me run my mouth a lot lately. And yes, I’ve thought about it. But my life is here. You are here.”

He couldn’t get undressed fast enough, couldn’t get her undressed fast enough. But the moment he slid into her clenching, needy p-ssy, he dragged out his strokes, unwilling for this to be over too quickly. Making love to her like she’d obviously wanted on their disastrous rendezvous in Fort Worth—he was ready for it now. Macy’s sighs and whimpers filled his head, clearing out the chaotic thoughts of the last few weeks, bringing a calm and a rightness he’d never known nor anticipated ever knowing. And when she gently brought his head down and kissed him, her tongue swirling around his in the same perfect rhythm her hips tilted to receive him, shit, he was in heaven.

Something was still different, though. She was different. He couldn’t pinpoint why; he just trusted the bond they shared enough to know there was something going on in her head despite what was happening with their bodies.

He smeared his lips across her cheek and whispered in her ear. “Are you okay, baby?”

She nodded in her stoic way. But he couldn’t let her shut him out right now, not when she was so open and beautiful and vulnerable. Not when it was so obvious in her kiss that she was yearning for something, yearning hard for it.

“If I could give you anything, what would you ask me for?”

“I…don’t…”

“You know. Look at me. What would you ask me for?”

Her beautiful eyes opened, her gaze meeting his directly. The words came, the ones he wanted to hear, and he knew they were true. “Your love.”

“Hey, that’s easy. Don’t you know you already have it? So it’s all good. Right?”

The little throaty sound of relief that escaped her as he spoke was the sexiest thing he’d ever heard. Her fingers clenched tighter around the back of his neck, and he dropped his forehead to hers. “I do love you, Macy. I love you.” His lips captured hers. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Given the tears that slipped from her eyes then, he wondered if maybe those words had been a burden on her for a long time. He’d been such a f*cking idiot. But whatever else happened, those little words would keep him going forever. Whatever else happened, for at least one moment in his life, Macy had loved him. But he would do his damnedest to turn the moment into a lifetime. He smiled down at her. “Well, don’t cry about it.”