Leave Me Breathless

Chapter Eighteen


The ringing of her phone tore her out of the deepest sleep she’d experienced in her entire life. Macy’s head jerked up from the pillow.

She made a clumsy grab for the phone on her nightstand before reality had swept the cobwebs from her brain. It might be Seth; something bad might’ve happened—

The bold letters on her display told her it was only her mom.

She answered and flopped back onto her oh-so-comfy pillow.

“Where are you?” her mom asked before she could get her greeting out.

“I’m home. Asleep.” And that asleep part? I’d like to get there again.

“Well, I figured. But you never called. And it’s two in the afternoon already.”

“Sorry to make you worry.”

“Is everything all right?”

“Yes.”

“Will you tell me now what’s going on?”

Ugh. She’d rushed through her explanation yesterday morning when she’d called her mom because she hadn’t wanted to tell her the situation and deal with her game of one hundred questions.

“Everything’s fine. I told you I was helping a friend.”

“You said you were helping a friend get to Oklahoma. It must be a friend I don’t know, because Candace and Sam don’t have family in Oklahoma.”

“Don’t you think I might have friends you don’t know at this point?”

“You’re being evasive. I can only assume you have a man.”

Oh, Jesus. “It’s a…male friend, yes.”

“I guess we shouldn’t have invited Jared over for dinner tonight, then.”

Macy shot bolt upright. “You did what?” She always had dinner with her parents on Sunday nights; what in the world possessed them to do this?

“He came here this morning, Macy, and he looked pitiful. He’d gone to your apartment looking for you yesterday, but of course you were gone all day. He said he was worried about you, but I told him what you were doing.”

“And he said…?”

“Nothing. Just visited with us for a little while. As he was leaving, your dad told him to come back tonight, and the two of you could talk.”

“Oh, Mom.”

“Don’t yell at me; yell at him. You know he was practically planning your wedding to Jared from the time you were twelve. He loves him, and so do I. We want to see you work things out. Jared seems to want to work things out.”

“I don’t want to work things out.”

“Are you positive about that? You loved him so much. I know you did. And I saw you two outside Friday.”

“Jared’s on the rebound, Mom. His marriage just fell apart. It isn’t love, it’s…nostalgia. Or something.”

“I don’t believe that. I believe he never got over you.”

Damn, what was it with the exes? Try to hook up with someone else, and they buzzed out of the woodwork like angry hornets. Macy had the irrationally hilarious thought that they should introduce Jared and Raina, but she bit her lip on that laughter.

“If he’s going to be there, then I can’t come.”

“Don’t do that. How rude. If nothing else, he was your best friend. He misses you.”

She lay still in her bed and listened to her own heartbeat and the rain she’d just realized was spattering against her window. “Mom…what would you say if I told you I’m thinking of racing again? Not anything serious,” she quickly amended. “Just…getting back into it a little. See where it goes.”

“What would I say?” She could already hear the joy bubbling up in her mom’s voice. “I’d say I think you definitely need to come to dinner tonight.”



So she found herself walking past Jared’s dually parked in her parents’ driveway—he was early—and trudging up to the front door at seven o’clock. She felt like absolute crap, still out of whack. After all this, she probably wouldn’t sleep a wink tonight. Seth had called her an hour ago; he’d sounded tired but okay. He hadn’t talked long, and she hadn’t bothered to tell him where she was going. There had been no change in his grandmother’s condition, and the doctors weren’t optimistic. He’d slept in as long as she had.

It had been so good to hear his voice. She’d heard it in her dreams all night, but they’d had nothing on the reality. Now she needed only to endure her parents’ scheming and get back home. Reflect on the past two days and think. And remember.

Oh yes. Remember. Now that she was back, somewhat rested and not living on raw adrenaline, ten seconds couldn’t go by without a flashback to Friday night. It shouldn’t be that hard to hang on to those feelings and get through this.

She didn’t bother ringing the bell. The scents of home were a comfort as she entered the rambling two-story ranch house; ordinarily, she really looked forward to seeing her parents each week. A little guilt lanced through her tonight, though. She hadn’t exactly been forthcoming with them, so they probably had their hopes up for a reconciliation. And she doubted Seth would like it if he knew she was having dinner with her ex when he had nothing but hell with his own.

It was no big deal, though. If Jared started anything with her, she’d just shut him down again.

“Macy?” Her mom’s voice drifted in from the dining room over the rumble of male laughter. “We’re in here, hon.”

She followed the sound, managing a smile for everyone as she entered. Her mom and dad came around to give her hugs, and Jared rose from his seat, his knock-you-down blue gaze lingering on her a little too intimately. Maybe seeing a little too much. Sam had always suggested guys could subconsciously smell sex on a woman, and it brought them sniffing. But it had been two days since Seth had spent the night with her. Surely the remnants of catastrophic pleasure were all gone by now.

She greeted him with a smile and quickly took her usual seat, which was thankfully across the table from him. Her mom had already set out the food, and she dished some up and ate without really seeing anything going on around her. Vaguely, she heard her dad ask Jared all the usual questions about his family, his parents, how work was going, his new John Deere, the remodeling he was doing to his house…etcetera, etcetera. She couldn’t be bothered listening to the answers.

Her cell phone buzzed in her jeans pocket. Hiding her movements under the table lest her mom throw out her phone because she was fanatical about table manners—Lord, imagine Seth getting his hand up her skirt here—she fished it out and sneaked a glance.

Seth was usually a sparse texter, but he must want his message to get across loud and clear tonight. Call me when you go to bed. Need to listen to you moan my name again.

Heat crept up her face; she could practically feel herself turning red. It was as if he’d just said those words in her ear. Squirming in her chair against the ache building in her sex, she quickly lifted her gaze and focused on her still-full plate.

Jared was watching her. She felt the weight of it without looking, and when she dared a glance upward, her suspicions were confirmed. There was something vaguely hungry about the way he looked at her, and she wondered if the man across from her was anything like the boy she’d pushed away years ago.

But even that predatory look would never, not in a million years, incite such a riot of passion in her. Not like those words on her phone’s display, which seemed to be burning a hole in her jeans right now.

“What’s wrong with you?” her dad said. She heard it, processed it, but for a moment, didn’t even consider that he was talking to her. “Hey! Daughter of mine.”

She started in her chair. A quick glance around showed not only Jared’s, but all eyes were on her. “What?”

“You’re off in outer space.”

“Just tired, Daddy.”

He scoffed. “Aw, poor thing.”

“Don’t give me a hard time,” she said, grinning and picking up her fork mostly for show.

Her mother frowned at her, not fooled for a second. “You have seemed preoccupied the past couple weeks. I noticed even when I talked to you Friday, you barely heard a word I said.”

She’d talked to her mom Friday? “I don’t know why. Everything’s fine.”

“Are things at the store okay? Everyone behaving?”

“Yeah, it’s good.”

“How are Candace and Samantha?”

“Everyone is great, Mom. Nothing is wrong.”

“I talked to Candace’s mother today. She said her and that Ross boy are still going strong. She never has much to say other than that, though.”

That Ross boy. Poor Brian. It was like he didn’t even have a first name. “Yep. Strong.”

“I just hope she doesn’t get pregnant,” Macy’s mom fretted.

Seriously? “Mother.”

“Well! It would kill Sylvia, you know it would.”

“I’m sure they’ll be fine. They’re adults, you know.”

“Is he going to marry her? Has she said anything?”

So Jennifer Rodgers could run to her BFF Sylvia Andrews and report back about the goings-on in Brian and Candace’s life? “I don’t know. She hasn’t even graduated yet. Give them time before you start planning bridal and baby showers.”

“I don’t think Sylvia’s too excited about planning anything where they’re concerned.”

Except maybe how to get Brian out of her daughter’s life without looking too guilty. “Well, she needs to get over it, and maybe you could try explaining that to her.”

“She’s doing much better about it now than she was when it first blew up. That much I can say.”

“Blew up” was an understatement. It had been ugly. Candace’s brother James had tried to destroy Brian and everything he’d worked for. Macy hated to think about it. She’d had to come forward with information that could’ve taken James down in return—and probably would’ve brought shame on the entire Andrews family. It had taken everything she had in her to do it.

But Brian hadn’t been angry at her for her indecision about confessing what she knew. And it had all worked out in a truce, albeit a very tense one.

“This is all very interesting,” Macy’s dad said, “but what’s this about you wanting to race again?” She didn’t think she’d seen him grin that big since before she’d gotten hurt.

Jared had been cutting his steak. His hands froze. The hopefulness that bloomed on his face as he slowly raised his eyes to hers broke her heart. “Really?” he asked.

“I’m not so against the idea anymore.”

“That’s awesome. You should come out for the roping next weekend. I’ll set up the barrels for you; you can make a few runs. Get some practice in. I know everyone would love to see you.”

All her old friends? Half of them would probably throw rocks at her. And at Jared’s house? No, thanks. “Oh no, that’s… I’m not ready for all that yet.”

“I’m inclined to not take no for an answer.” Ugh, and there was the smile that had charmed her right out of her virginity at an age that would probably make her parents reassess their feelings and throw him out of the house if they knew.

“Well, you might just have to,” she fired back, sounding more flirtatious than she’d intended. It was a little too much…Jared staring at her across the table like he wanted to eat her alive, and Seth texting her under the table about her moaning in his ear. And she still didn’t think she’d come down from Friday night. She’d be riding that high for a long time yet.

Jared put a hand thoughtfully to his chin. “What kind of blackmail can I resort to? Your parents are sitting right here. Hmm…”

Yeah, you just go there, buddy. My dad has guns. Lots and lots of guns.

Her parents laughed at that, and he joined in, giving Macy a wink.

“Seriously, though. Saturday around noon. Come on out.”

“You really should go,” her mom said. “It would be good for you to get out.”

“I do get out.”

“Yes, but…” She trailed off, and Macy raised her eyebrows, her mind supplying the end to that thought. …it would be good for you to get out with different people.

Oh no. They weren’t about to start that up, were they? She wondered just how much Jared had told them. Her parents had always been accepting people, but if Jared had made it sound like she was hanging out with a thug, that would change. She was her own person; she did what she wanted to do. But she was close with them, and their approval was important to her. It always had been, and for most of her life, it had always been fairly easy for her to attain.

Jared had better not tarnish their image of Seth before they even got a chance to meet him. Who was she kidding, though? He’d probably be fairly adept at tarnishing it all on his own once they did.

While she stewed over it, the others took a trip down memory lane over dessert, and before long her mother was pulling out old photos of her and Jared and their friends, and all that crap.

She smiled and chatted and reminisced with them, but underneath it all, she only wanted to bolt from the table. Why did she ever have to open her big, fat mouth?

“I hate to break up the party, but I’m still really tired,” she announced, easing out of her chair.

“Oh, so soon?” Her mother looked crestfallen. “The coffee should be ready in a minute.”

“No, thanks. I lived on coffee yesterday. I’m coffee’d out.”

“Will you please call me when you have time to talk?”

And when would that be? “All right, Mom.”

Jared stood as she edged closer to the door. “Can I walk you out?”

Shit, she should have seen that coming. And it was like insta-happiness dawned across her parents’ faces. Seething, she shrugged and hoped the fake smile she plastered on wouldn’t give away her aggravation. “Suit yourself.”

She kissed her parents good-bye as Jared went into the foyer, making sure he’d be able to help her into her coat and open the front door for her. She let him go through the motions without a fuss, thinking how none of it meant as much as when Seth had done similar things. Maybe because she hadn’t expected it out of a guy like him. Or maybe because when Seth had done it, it hadn’t reeked of desperation.

The thought made her sad all of a sudden. Jared hadn’t done anything to deserve her annoyance, really, except still care about her at a very inopportune time.

“Please come by Saturday,” he said as they strolled out into the chilly night. His warm fingers curled around hers. “The weather’s supposed to be great.”

She tugged her hand away and shoved it into her coat pocket. “Jared, I need you to stop this.”

“What?”

“I explained to you Friday.”

“I’m just trying to be your friend.”

“Then I’m going to have to ask you to stop that too, if this is the way you go about it. Getting Mom and Dad involved was not the thing to do.”

“I’m sorry about that.” He leaned against the front fender of her Acadia, looking as if he was getting comfortable, and she sighed. “I got to thinking yesterday, and I sorta got beside myself, I guess. I wanted to talk to you some more. Then you didn’t come home all day—”

“What did you do, camp out on the street?”

“No. I checked once in the morning and then tried again in the afternoon.”

She narrowed her eyes. He’d gotten “beside herself” thinking she’d spent the night with Seth. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m a big girl. I can make my own decisions; I can take care of myself.”

“Macy, you can do better than that guy.”

Hell no. She lunged for her car door handle, elbowing him out of the way when he tried to intercept her. “I don’t owe you any explanations.”

He won, grabbing the handle before she could open it. “I’m sorry, okay? But listen to what I’m saying. You know it. In your heart, you know it. It’s never going to work. You think they’ll go for it?” He pointed toward her house. She stopped trying to pry his hand away and glared at him as her breath burned her lungs. “You think they’ll welcome that in their house?”

“It’s not up to them.”

“Don’t go like this. Please. Just think about coming over Saturday. I swear I won’t get out of line. I have the girls this weekend. They would love to see you there. It would make their weekend, Macy, really.”

Oh, that wasn’t fair. “You’ve proven you won’t back off when I tell you to, so no. I’m not putting myself in this situation again.”

“What if I promise I’ll be good?” He grinned at her.

“No.”

“Just tell me what it’s gonna hurt. You can see some old friends, laugh about old times, get a little piece of your old life back. I want to help you with that, if nothing else. You were awesome. If I can be a little part, a tiny part, of you getting back to that, then hell. I want in.”

Jared wasn’t supposed to be a part of her getting her old life back. She searched his face, looking for any signs of insincerity. Or veiled lechery. Nothing was there except his earnest, pleading blue eyes.

“Jared…”

“Come on. Just one day. If you don’t have fun, I promise I will never, ever bug you about hanging out with us again.”

She crossed her arms, glared at him some more, chewed her bottom lip. Finally she released her breath in a huff, dropping the defensive stance and trying for her car door again. This time, he let her. “Fine! All right. I’ll freaking come over.” After opening the door, she put her finger in his face. “Listen to me. You try one thing, you say one thing that even remotely offends me or pisses me off, and I’m out of there. You got that? I’m serious, Jared.”

He’d been grinning like the Cheshire cat, but he dropped all expression at her tirade. “I got it. I do. Yes, ma’am.” He saluted her.

She rolled her eyes and escaped into the interior of her car, yanking her keys from her purse and jamming one in the ignition.

“Saturday. Noon,” he said.

“I know.”

“Good night, Macy.” With a final grin that had a little too much triumph behind it for her liking, he shut her door.



Seth’s sleepy voice as he answered his phone was the best damn thing she’d heard all day. Chuckling, she pulled her own covers up to her chin. “You were asleep.”

“Yeah,” he yawned.

“But you answered on, like, the first ring.”

“Been waiting on you.”

“Really?”

“You didn’t answer my text earlier, though, so I didn’t know if you’d call or not.”

“Sorry. I was at my parents’ having dinner.” Her brow furrowed. Should she tell him her ex-boyfriend was there? Or that they were hanging out this weekend? Was he the type to get mad about something like that? If he was, it probably wouldn’t be worth the drama. Wasn’t like he had anything to worry about.

His laugh was slow and warm and…oh, what she wouldn’t give to hear it beside her instead of across a state line. She rubbed her thighs together restlessly.

“That’s awesome,” he said.

“Why?”

“Call me deranged, but if I’d known you were at your parents’, I probably would’ve kept it up.”

Thank God he hadn’t known, then. She would’ve been glued to her phone all night, and her mom might have flipped out. “You must feel a little better.”

“Well…I’m all right.”

“Everything…the same?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

She wanted to ask how things were going with his brother, but that would probably be the last thing he wanted to talk about. “Where are you?”

“Stephanie’s guest bedroom.”

“Hmm. I guess you have to be quiet then.”

“I’ve got no problem with that.” His voice dropped to an intimate timbre that made chills run from the tips of her toes to the roots of her hair. “I already miss you, Macy.”

She’d missed him before she’d gotten in Sam’s car and rode away. Her hand, which had been resting on her belly, inched downward of its own volition. To think just a couple nights ago…

“Can I take your mind off things?” she asked softly.

“That would be f*cking splendid.”

“I was thinking about something earlier, just before I called you.” Her heart rate accelerated. She hadn’t exactly intended on letting him know just yet where her thoughts had been wandering, but if he wanted to occupy his mind with other things, she was certain she had the solution.

“Uh-oh.”

“We’re actually only three hours apart if we meet in the middle.”

“Are you being serious?” All humor had left his voice.

She pulled her lip between her teeth and considered for a moment. “If you’re up to it, absolutely. Not like this minute, because I need more sleep, but I just want to see you. I want to be there for you when I can. If you need to get away and you can’t come all the way home…I’ll come to you, I’ll come all the way if you need me to, but… say the word and I’m there.”

“I’m… I don’t know what to say, really.”

In the darkness of her room, she cringed. “Too much? I’m sorry.”

“No—”

“You’re dealing with something I have no experience with and I don’t know what to do to help. So tell me if I need to back off.”

“You’re helping me by talking to me. By being there. By doing every damn thing you’re already doing.” He was quiet for a minute. She was tempted to fill the silence herself, but she let him have it. “This is more bearable because of you.”

Her heart warmed, and she wanted so much to feel his lips on hers she might have driven those six hours right then, sleep be damned. That she wanted to be his any and every way she possibly could, both physically and emotionally, was a revelation that knocked the breath from her.

Cautious Macy had fallen for the very kind of guy that should send her running for the hills.

That had once, but she had her bearings now. She had a little of her old self back. Tiny, but it was there, and it was all thanks to him. She owed him far more than he could ever owe her.

“Are you off Saturday?” he asked.

Saturday. She was supposed to go to Jared’s Saturday. But if it came down to one or the other…there was no question.

“Yeah. I’m usually off on weekends.”

“Hmm.”

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking by then I will damn sure need to get away for a few hours. I’m thinking overnight.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m not sure I should, but…” He gave a frustrated growl. “Shit.”

“Whatever you think,” she said quickly. “I don’t want to pull you away if you need to be there.”

“I know that, baby. But I wouldn’t be considering it if I didn’t need to see you, too.”

“You have to take care of you. I don’t care if we just talk all night.”

“Oh, I think we can find more to do than that.”