Chapter 7 Jake’s Proposal
We landed at LAX early Christmas morning, and I said my good-byes to everybody before heading home. Jake’s mom and dad hugged and kissed me and made me promise to come over early for Christmas dinner. I nodded and got in the car with Jake.
“I had such a wonderful time with your family, Jake. Thank you! Though I just met them, I cherish them like my own.” My lips spanned from one ear to the other. “Your mom and dad did an amazing job raising you three. I see why you turned out to be such a caring person. I’m glad I came on this trip. I feel much closer to you and your family,” I gushed.
Jake all of a sudden parked his car on the side of the road and pulled out another jewelry box from his suitcase, just like the one I got in San Francisco—the kind a girl received when a man got down on one knee, about to propose to the woman he loved.
“Merry Christmas, Sweetheart.”
“Jake. I left your present at home. Let’s exchange gifts when we get back to my house.”
“No, I want you to open this now. I have something else for you when you come over tonight to Mom’s.”
“Jake, you’re really spoiling me. Hawaii was enough of a present. You didn’t have to get me anything else. By the way, wasn’t this my Christmas present?” I asked holding the ring from my neck.
“That was, but when I saw this in Hawaii, I knew I had to get it for you. Please open it.”
I slowly began to unwrap the silver bow. I could feel my body tensing up, hoping for and against another ring. As much as I adored this man, thinking beyond our current relationship wasn’t a smart choice for me.
When I opened the box, he didn’t disappoint my hope and fears. Inside the box was a huge solitaire diamond engagement ring. I looked at him, shocked and dazed.
“Emi, don’t be scared. I bought this thinking I could hold off till you were ready, but after this trip I realize I don’t want to be without you. Emily Anne Logan, I know it’s only been a short two months, but I want to be with you forever. I love you more than any man could love a woman, and I promise to love you this way the rest of my life. Will you marry me?” His most sincere blue eyes looked almost in pain awaiting my response.
I hesitated for a while—a long while. I tried not to think about this intimidating situation. I thought about useless facts like how I was sitting in the passenger seat of a car and how this was not what I’d imagined a proposal to be. My heart fluttered, wildly excited about this proposal, but my mind panicked. Was I ready for this? Would the prospect of marriage to one another be as wonderful to him in a few months as it would be to me? Two months—the entirety of our relationship, of us knowing one another—couldn’t be long enough for him to love me that deeply, already. Infatuation would be a better terminology for what he felt for me. But, what would he do if I said no?
Copious thoughts raced through my head.
Before I finished my thoughts, Jake shook my arm. “Emi? Are you OK? I’m sorry. I know I turned too serious too soon for you. But, I love you and want to be with you every day and every night for the rest of my life. Let’s get married! Huh?” He leaned over and lightly brushed his lips against mine. I didn’t respond, but I also didn’t push him away.
“Jake…oh, Jake,” I sighed. Jake kissed me again. This time a bit rougher than before, and I gave in to his physical desire and demand. My mind was still trying to sort out my heart.
“You know how much I like you.” My head automatically shook ‘no’ as Jake pulled away. “After meeting your family and spending time with all of you in Hawaii, I know your family is just about as perfect as a family can be. But, I’m not ready for a lifelong commitment. It’s too soon. You can’t mean this already. I am committed to you as a girlfriend and that’s where I’d like to stay for a while. I hope this is OK. I’m sorry but my answer is no.”
Could you possibly love me this much already? Enough to want to live with me forever? I want to marry you, love you forever, start a family with you. But, I couldn’t stand it if you regretted your decision later on.
He stared at me, and didn’t respond at first.
“I’m sorry…are you hurt by my response?” I tried to solicit an answer. “I’m sorry.” I repeated myself just in case he didn’t hear me the first few times.
Jake didn’t look my way. He got back on the road and started driving.
“Jake, we just started dating. Why do we need to move so fast? Can’t we just enjoy ourselves?”