His Love Endures Forever

Fourteen




DANIELLE PULLED BOTH LOAVES OF BREAD FROM the oven, slammed them down on the top of the stove, and stared at the mounds that had refused to rise—for the third time.

Today was Sisters Day, and Levi had been insistent that Danielle accept the invitation from his sister Emily, who was hosting it at her home, so Danielle had taken the day off from work. Danielle had been around the Amish long enough to know that a Sisters Day was a monthly gathering when all the women got together to do quilting, canning, or some other sort of project. Sometimes they cleaned house for an elderly person or shut-in. Everyone brought food. Danielle had known not to count on bringing bread following her first two failed attempts, so she’d bought some cookies from the grocery store the day before.

She dreaded going to the event, and the only saving factor was that it was being held at Emily and David’s house. Her sister-in-law and her husband had always been kind to her, and when Emily showed up and asked Danielle to come, Danielle knew she wouldn’t be able to get out of it.

It had been over two weeks since their wedding, and she and Levi weren’t living any more like husband and wife than when they first got married. They’d moved from the floor in front of the fireplace and to the bed on the second night, but there wasn’t anything physical going on. Twice she’d tried to initiate more than just a few kisses with Levi, and both times he’d said he was tired. Danielle wondered if maybe Levi wasn’t attracted to her. She reached down and touched her belly, knowing it protruded a little more than she’d like. She wasn’t even four months pregnant yet, but the way she’d been eating lately, the pounds were coming on quickly.

They hadn’t gone to the Amish worship service yesterday because Danielle had been sick to her stomach. She’d told Levi to go without her, but he’d insisted on staying home with her. Danielle figured Levi might be nervous to face his family, even though Danielle knew that he’d always be welcomed at church. Either way, she’d been relieved to get out of it herself.

She dumped the loaves of bread into the garbage. Again. Levi had left for work hours ago. He never said anything about her not getting up to make him breakfast, even though she knew that Amish women did that . . . rising at four or four thirty to send their men off with a full stomach. Best she’d likely ever be able to do for Levi would be to pour him a bowl of cereal, and she doubted he needed her to do that. She’d been working the afternoon shift, but her hours had been cut. Both she and Sue suspected a layoff was coming. Business had declined since the new owners took over a few months ago and changed the menu.

She looked around her simple kitchen. Levi had purchased a small oak kitchen table with four chairs, promising to get a bigger one when they could afford it. They hardly had any furniture—two rockers in the living room and a queen-size bed in their bedroom. She wondered how they would afford all the things necessary for a baby. Thankfully, Martha would make sure the baby had everything he or she needed. She’d said so plenty of times. Levi was insistent that Danielle keep her little bit of savings for now, something in case of an emergency.

Her surrogate mother had been by to visit daily, sometimes alone, sometimes with Arnold. Danielle tried to make excuses for the condition of the place. In addition to the rundown state of the house, Danielle knew she wasn’t the best at cleaning. Martha had eyed their sink full of dishes several times when she’d visited. But it just seemed easier to let them all stack up and do them when the sink was full. There was no dishwasher, so she had to fill the sink up with soapy water and do them all by hand. Plus, Danielle had been working in the afternoons and by the time she got back, she was tired.

She glanced at the clock on the wall in the kitchen, took a deep breath, and went to get dressed for the event. After she put on the most conservative thing she owned—her knee-length navy skirt, pullover white blouse, and tennis shoes—her heart pounded, wishing there was some way to get out of going. But Emily had been so sweet when she came to invite her, and Danielle suspected Katie Ann and Lillian would be there—and she really liked both of them.

It was Vera and Sarah she was mostly worried about.

She wound her hair into a loose side braid, something she’d been doing most of the time, since she didn’t have electricity to use her flatiron. She’d gotten used to using lanterns in the evening, and even found it a bit cozy—and romantic—even though romance didn’t seem to have a big claim on their lives at the moment. Levi had even stopped kissing her with the passion of their wedding night. It was hard not to be depressed, and there wasn’t even a television or radio to take her mind off things. So she’d tried bread making a few times and played games on her cell phone in the mornings until time for work. When Martha came to visit, Danielle took advantage of that time to charge her cell phone in Martha’s car.

She’d also found a new love of pickled okra, something she didn’t even like before she was pregnant. Now she went to the market every other day for a new jar.

She picked up her box of cookies to take to Sisters Day, found her purse and keys, and made herself walk out the door. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.


SARAH PULLED UP at Emily’s house at the same time as Vera and Betsy. No matter how things had transpired, Sarah respected the sacrament of marriage enough not to do anything more to try to cause problems between Levi and Danielle. She had no choice but to go on with her life. But her stomach churned at the thought of having to be around the girl at all.

Sarah forced a bright smile to her face and climbed out of the buggy as Vera and Betsy walked past. “Wie bischt, Vera and Betsy?” Sarah balanced her container of whoopee pies and stepped into stride alongside Vera, who toted a cake plate covered in foil. When Betsy skipped ahead of them, Sarah whispered, “We haven’t had a chance to talk since—”

“The Lord’s will has been done.” Vera kept her eyes straight ahead and moved faster toward the house. There was no mistaking Vera’s sharp tone of voice.

“Well, of course it has.” Sarah had failed to stop the wedding, but was Vera going to hold a grudge? “I—I hope that—”

“Sarah, now is not the time.” Vera hurried in front of Sarah and up the porch steps with Betsy.

Sarah followed slowly, unsure what to make of Vera’s attitude. She’d done everything she could do. What had the woman expected? And did she somehow blame her for how it ended?

“Emily, dear.” Vera hugged her daughter, then Sarah did the same.

Sarah put her whoopee pies alongside the many other dishes on Emily’s kitchen table, then made her way around the room greeting the other ladies. Lillian was sitting on the couch with her two daughters, Anna and Elizabeth, and Katie Ann was carting Jonas on her hip. Levi’s sister-in-law, Beth Ann, was in the far corner. Beth Ann was another woman in their community who had been married ample time to have conceived a child, but like Emily, was still not pregnant. Sarah hoped Beth Ann didn’t start whining about it the way she was sometimes known to do. Hannah, Ida Mae, Karen, Frieda, and Laura Jane were already there—all kin to Katie Ann through her husband, Eli.

The only person Sarah didn’t see was Danielle. Emily had already told her that she’d extended an invitation to Danielle in an effort to make her feel welcomed into the family. Emily was like that. Always sweet. Sarah knew she should be more like Emily. Sometimes there was a bitterness that crept inside Sarah’s soul, an unpleasant restlessness that she knew she brought on by her actions. She took a deep breath and once again resolved to be a better person.

But when Danielle walked in, Sarah felt her resolve melt like butter on a griddle. If there was anything to be thankful for, it was that Martha wasn’t with Danielle. The older Englisch woman was obnoxious, and Sarah couldn’t believe she’d been allowed into their circle. Martha had attended several Sisters Days in the past, arriving with Katie Ann, and she went to most worship services. Sarah was sure the Lord didn’t approve of Martha and her place within their community. If she hadn’t been welcomed in, surely Danielle wouldn’t have been able to sink her talons into Levi . . .

Danielle’s long blond hair was pulled to one side in a braid, and Sarah tried not to think about Levi running his hands through it while they slept side by side at night. At least Danielle had dressed conservatively today, not the trashy way she’d been known to in the past. Sarah couldn’t help but feel a slight sense of satisfaction that Danielle’s face was red as she shuffled into the room. And her satisfaction grew when she noticed the box of store-bought cookies in Danielle’s hands.


LEVI WONDERED HOW Danielle was faring at Sisters Day, knowing he probably shouldn’t have pushed her into going, but he longed for her to be acknowledged by his family. His mother hadn’t been back to the house since the morning after the wedding. And according to Daed, Mamm refused to speak about his marriage. Jacob had been coming to help Levi work on the house in the evenings, but even his brother avoided conversation about Levi’s marriage.

He missed the closeness of family, of community. He could tell that Danielle was doing her best to be a good wife, but their married life wasn’t anything like he’d expected. Things started out awkward, and there hadn’t been much change. They weren’t intimate like husband wife should be. Levi knew that was his fault, and he prayed daily that he’d done the right thing by marrying Danielle. The calling had seemed so strong before, but he worried that he’d misread God’s plan for him.

If there was a saving grace today, it was Emily. Levi knew that his sister would be good to Danielle and do her best to make her feel included.

Levi walked to the buggy and got his lunch pail, as well as his father’s. Daed had been picking him up for work every morning around six o’clock. Levi missed his mother’s hearty breakfast before he set out for work; Danielle was still sleeping when he left. He was grateful for the lunch Danielle always made for him the night before, but the store-bought chicken salad was nothing like his mother made. Same went for the apple pie that Levi watched Danielle pull from a box to heat up.

Today they were installing solar panels on an Englisch house that was still under construction. The panels weren’t meant to power up the entire house, just parts of it to minimize the electric bill. Levi wound his way around several construction workers to where his father was leaning against a stack of lumber. He handed him his black lunch pail.

Levi was chewing on his first bite, trying not to frown, when his father spoke up. “How is married life?” Daed grinned.

Levi tried to return the smile, not sure how his father had intended the question. “Gut,” Levi finally said before he took another bite, wondering if he’d ever have homemade bread again.

They were quiet for a few moments, then Levi asked, “Has Mamm spoken of our marriage?”

“Nee.” Daed pulled a thermos from his lunch box and took a sip of what Levi presumed was iced tea. Levi glanced at his own thermos filled with grape Kool-Aid. It couldn’t be that hard to make tea. “But that’s probably a gut thing, sohn,” his father added. “Your mamm is dealing with this the best way she knows how.”

Levi doubted it. He reached into a bag of potato chips as he watched his father scoop out a spoonful of broccoli and raisin salad, Levi’s favorite. His mouth watered just thinking about the taste.

Daed smiled as he handed the container and spoon to Levi, reaching for the bag of chips. “I don’t even remember the last time I had potato chips. Your mudder says they’re bad for my cholesterol.” His father bit into one of the chips with the same passion that Levi felt as he scooped up a bite of broccoli and raisin salad. Levi savored the flavor, and he could tell his father was doing the same thing with the chips, a gleam in his eyes as he ate two at a time.

Levi had wanted to talk to Jacob about what was on his mind, but since his brother didn’t seem interested in talking much about him and Danielle, Daed was second in line. But every time Levi tried, the words just wouldn’t come. It would have been so much better and easier to talk to his older brother, but Levi suspected Beth Ann was putting distance between Levi and Jacob. Maybe he was wrong, but his brother’s wife didn’t respect Jacob’s place as head of the household. Everyone knew that Beth Ann ran most aspects of their lives.

Daed wadded up the empty chip bag and handed it back to Levi. “Can’t let your mamm see the evidence,” he said, followed by a chuckle.

Levi gave him the empty container and spoon, wishing there had been twice the amount inside.

“I woulda told your mudder to send a lunch for you too, but I figure no sense fueling her fire. She’d think your new fraa wasn’t taking care of you.”

“It’s okay. She . . .” Levi paused. “She doesn’t really know how to cook.” He thought about the frozen pizza they’d had for dinner last night. Mamm would have fallen over. Levi had always thought that he’d marry an Amish girl whose mother had taught her to cook. Now he faced the possibility of never having a home-cooked meal again. But he thought about how Danielle had been trying to make bread. At least she was trying, even though Levi had no idea what she was doing wrong. How hard could it be to get bread to rise? Mamm and Emily did it daily, several loaves.

Daed gave him a sorrowful smile. “I’ve heard Martha say repeatedly that she doesn’t cook, so I reckon the girl didn’t have much opportunity to learn. Be patient with her.”

Levi nodded and followed his father back to the buggy. They both put the pails on the backseat. Then Levi couldn’t stand it anymore. “Daed . . .”

His father turned to him. “Ya, sohn? What is it?”

“Danielle and . . .” Levi pulled his eyes from his father’s and shifted his weight. He looped his thumbs in his suspenders, thankful it was a warm and sunny day. He’d have done anything to be spared asking his father this next question, but he had to know. “Danielle and I haven’t . . .” He shrugged, still not looking up.

“Haven’t what?”

“Uh, you know . . .” Levi locked eyes with his father. Read my mind, Daed. Don’t make me say it.

In some ways, Levi and Danielle were so close. But in other ways they were miles apart, and Levi’s question was one that needed to be answered if he was going to narrow the distance between them.

“Ach . . . do you mean . . . you haven’t been intimate?” Daed’s expression was difficult to read.

Levi nodded. “I’m afraid . . .” He took a deep breath. “I’m afraid I’ll hurt her.”

Daed raised a brow, frowning. “Huh?”

Levi rubbed his forehead and sighed. “You know, because she’s pregnant. I’m afraid for the baby.”

A slight smile formed on his father’s face. “Ach, I see. If there are no problems, married couples have relations usually until just three or four weeks before the baby is born.” Daed paused, stroking his beard. “Or in the case of Jacob, all the way up until the day he was born.”

Levi could feel his face turning three shades of red as he avoided his father’s eyes.

Daed slapped him on the shoulder. “Go home and be a husband to your fraa tonight. I promise you, it will be fine.”

Levi knew his face was still red, but he smiled ear to ear just the same, wondering if they would finish early for the day today.





VERA WASN’T SURE who she was trying to avoid the most. Danielle or Sarah. She could barely stand to think about Danielle and Levi married, yet Sarah’s attempt at seducing her son—then telling Danielle about it—wasn’t settling well with her either. Vera didn’t regret asking Sarah to try to talk Levi out of his marriage to Danielle. The boy needed to be reminded about what was at stake. His life. His faith. But Sarah took it a step further than Vera would have liked. Although, if she was honest, she couldn’t help but wonder if she’d be finding fault with the girl if her plan had worked, which made Vera question her own morals a bit.

She longed to know how Levi was doing. Was he happy? Well fed? Did Danielle read from the Bible with him in the evenings? Did they share devotion time? She doubted it. And that caused a pain in her heart. She was lost in her own thoughts when Lillian gently nudged her.

“Vera, what do you want to contribute?” Lillian was holding a pad and pen in hand, smiling. The main purpose of today’s gathering was for everyone to come up with a list of food items to take to a nearby homeless shelter.

“I’ll make a lemon pie and bring a pot of my stew.” Vera smiled, watching Danielle out of the corner of her eye. Both Katie Ann and Emily had stayed close to her. Probably to protect her from any bitter words from Sarah. Or Vera. She frowned as she thought about her own daughter having to protect Danielle from the likes of mean ol’ Vera. That is not who I am.

Everyone was gathered in Emily’s living room, plates in their laps, as Lillian continued to make the rounds. Vera had barely touched the sampling of everything she had on her plate. She stood up and weaved her way through the chairs and into the kitchen. As she tossed her plate in the trash, she noticed that none of the cookies Danielle had brought were gone.

Well, it was no wonder. Who would want to eat those cookies with all the homemade treats around?

She twisted her mouth from side to side, knowing how she would feel if no one ate something that she brought. Glancing back into the living room, she knew that most of the women had loaded their plates for the last time. She let out a heavy sigh, sure that Levi must be starving in his new household.

Vera stared at the box for a few more moments. As discreetly as she could, she grabbed a handful of Danielle’s store-bought chocolate chip cookies and stuffed them into her apron pockets. The girl had brought about two dozen cookies, and Vera probably now had about a dozen in her pockets.

She hurried through the living room, found her purse, then excused herself to the restroom. After she closed the door, she stole one of her daughter’s hand towels, wrapped the cookies inside them, and stuffed them in her purse. Betsy would eat anything.


DANIELLE DUMPED THE box of macaroni and cheese into the pot and set the timer. Levi would be home soon, and she wanted to have a hot meal for him. After the noodles had cooked exactly ten minutes, she drained them and added the cheese powder and a can of tuna. Voila! Dinner. She smiled as she recalled her day. Most of the ladies had been nice to her and included her in their conversations. Danielle hadn’t said much, but she had to admit that she felt the glow of a new bride when several of the women had congratulated her. No one brought up the baby, though, and that made her kind of sad. Vera and Sarah had nodded when Danielle arrived, but then stayed away from her. And that was fine by Danielle.

She gave the noodles and tuna a final stir, pulled the pot off the stove, then glanced at her box of cookies. At least a dozen were gone, so she felt good about that. And she could send the rest with Levi for his lunches. She glanced around the kitchen. The sink had last night’s dishes in it, but she’d been gone a good part of the day. She’d get to them tomorrow.

A few minutes later, she heard Elam’s buggy pull up, and she knew Levi would be coming in. She smoothed the wrinkles in her skirt and waited for him, looking forward to a kiss and hug after a long day. Levi burst through the door just as she leaned down and picked a stray noodle from the floor. His face was flushed and he seemed out of breath.

“I made dinner.” She straightened and smiled. “Something cooked. I mean, it’s probably nothing like—”

Levi’s mouth shushed her with a kiss like she hadn’t experienced since her wedding night. He swooped her into his arms, kissing her all the while as he carried her directly to their bed. And as he leaned over her, looking at her with such passion as he unwound her braid, Danielle had one thought.

I should have cooked a hot meal a long time ago.