Cassidy lifted her chin and looked directly into the camera. "Why am I coming forward now? To help others who are in the same horrible place I was. These victims need validation. They need to know they aren't alone. While I was dating my ex-boyfriend, I felt so isolated. I was in the public eye, but I felt cut off from everyone. Over time, my self-esteem was completely destroyed." She was thankful that her makeup hid the purple shadows under her eyes. Last night she had needed two and a half pills before she finally slept.
"My ex-boyfriend manipulated me and got under my skin. He took every grain of confidence I had. He called me names. He belittled me. And eventually he began to hit me. He also isolated me from my family and friends. The emotional manipulation took longer to get over than the bruises."
Cassidy took a deep breath. "I have decided to speak out to help any of our viewers who are being hurt and who will hear this broadcast. You need to know that you don't have to live in pain and isolation. You are not alone. I have stood in your shoes, I have walked the paths you are walking, and I managed to come out on the other side. I've reclaimed my life, and you can too."
With every word, Cassidy felt lighter. It had been a big, scary step to charge Rick with assault. But now she was the one who had the power. She was taking the skills she used every day at work--researching and telling a compelling story--and turning them into weapons against the man who had first proclaimed his love for her, then terrorized her. She imagined him sitting at home, watching her, grinding his teeth in impotent anger. And even if he wasn't watching, she was sure word would get back to him. All of his friends had known he was dating Channel 4's Cassidy Shaw. Rick had liked to show her off.
"Domestic violence can include sexual assault and physical violence. But it often starts small, with emotional abuse. Does your partner tell you that you are stupid, ugly, and unlovable? Does he insist that you no longer have contact with your friends and family? That is abuse. And the frightening thing about domestic violence is that it escalates. The abuser may destroy items you love. He--or even she--may threaten or actually harm your pets. May take control of your money. And the abuser may eventually attack you. The sad fact is that in America, a woman is at much greater risk of dying at the hands of a loved one than a stranger's.
"But we can break the cycle of domestic violence that is destroying our families, devastating our communities, and adding to an already overcrowded prison population. It begins with making a personal commitment to get involved if you suspect someone you know is affected. Yes, it is difficult. You might feel that it's not your business or that you don't know how to help. But if you don't reach out, it's possible that no one will.
"You can help by listening, without judging. When a person is being abused, she feels responsible, ashamed, and inadequate. She is afraid she'll be judged. I know I was." Cassidy nodded thoughtfully as she spoke. "But again, you can help by telling the victim that the abuse is not her fault. And that there is no excuse for violence--not alcohol or drugs, not being under financial pressure or being depressed, and certainly not any behavior of the victim's.
"Tell her she is not alone. Let her know that domestic violence tends to get worse and become more frequent with time, and that it rarely goes away on its own. And give your friend the number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE.
"Domestic violence is a brutal crime that can be prevented if we join hands. Hands are for holding, not hitting. Remember that this year on Valentine's Day."
After Cassidy walked out of the studio, staffers broke into spontaneous applause. People clapped her on the back, thanked her for her courage, and smiled at her.
She went into the bathroom. In the stall, she sat on the toilet and rested her head against the cool metal wall for a few blessed minutes. It was over. She had done it. She had come forward and shared the secret that had paralyzed her for weeks.
Back in her office, Cassidy opened her work e-mail. The station had long made a practice of listing e-mail addresses for all of the on-air talent. Viewers responded by sending an amazing number of tips, photos, and videos. It took her e-mail a few seconds to open up, and when it finally did, Cassidy blinked. More than one hundred messages filled her in-box.
The first one heartened her. "You are so brave for coming forward and giving voice to the voiceless. Thank you for inspiring others." Feeling much lighter, she clicked on the next e-mail.
"You're a fat whore" was all it said. And signed, strangely enough, Your fan.
The next few e-mails Cassidy opened continued to alternately delight and horrify her. But even though the vast majority were good comments, they did not hold as much weight as the bad, at least as far as Cassidy was concerned. People remarked on how she looked, acted, dressed, and even her age, calling her old and washed-up. It was as if, by opening up her own life to viewers, she had shown that she was just like them, and had only been pretending to be someone who deserved to be on camera. Who deserved to tell others the news.
Cassidy had thought she would be helping others. But now she wondered--had she only hurt herself?