“Beautiful. Nothing like a girl who can so easily lower herself to whore status.” He couldn’t have hurt me more if he had slapped me.
“Get out.” My voice was low and commanding. It brokered no argument. I wanted him gone, like yesterday. Decker didn’t disappoint. He stormed out of the store. In a huff of wounded fury, I grabbed the books sitting on the end of the counter yet to be shelved and stalked to the bookshelf at the back of the store. I stopped in my tracks when I realized where the books belonged—right in front of our spot, the place he had marked as our naughty corner. The one place in the store where I would fondly remember that erotic and impulsive moment we had shared. I crumpled under the weight of that moment. I leaned against the wall behind me and allowed it to cushion my descent as I slid down into a dark well of pain. My heart broke, it split clear in two, and hurt spilled through my body. God it was painful. Big, ugly sobs wracked my body and I prayed to feel numb from the agony that coursed through me. I had never assumed that mine and Decker’s relationship would be perfect, but I believed it would always be true, and that’s all I needed. That truth was gone, snatched from me with lies and ugly words. I longed for Casey and Lionel to find me, pouring my heart and soul out in the form of tears. They didn’t come though, and when I found a small pause in the feverish crying that had claimed my body, I locked the front door, set the alarm, and climbed the stairs to my apartment. New York had officially sucked me in, chewed me up, and spat me back out again. This little duck was drowning.
Chapter 20
DECKER
I’m not quite sure how I ended up sprawled on a black leather couch at The Sugar Shack, a hip, urban club that was accommodating the cast and crew party for the upcoming film with The Bishop. I had kept myself pleasantly tanked for the last forty-eight hours. It was the only thing that drew away thoughts of Andi. My heart squeezed at the thought of her. Well, obviously I was sobering up, and I needed more Turkey. Fabian, fucking Fabian. I wanted to beat the fucker within an inch of his life, but he was out with Andi, having dinner with my girl. But she wasn’t my girl anymore, and this wasn’t entirely Fabian’s fault, which really pissed me off. I was the piece of shit who kept my upcoming film a secret from Andi. I had ample opportunity to tell her, and perhaps I should have. Or maybe I shouldn’t have taken the job in the first place. To be honest, the thought of fucking Melody, or anyone for that matter, had lost its appeal long before Andi came alone. I was deluding myself with thoughts of Prince of Porn grandeur. I wanted to maintain the name and reputation I had come to crave and rely on. Then came Andi, and I had wanted her instantly. At first I had just thought it was a physical reaction to a pretty girl. I quickly came to realize though, it was more. Andi was my it, the one thing I needed to make my life make sense, to bring clarity into my veins and heart. And I blew it. My first real relationship with a woman, and I fucked it up harder than any scene I had ever performed in. I shook my head, hoping to dislodge all thoughts of Andi. It hurt too much to think about her. Bradley was going to kill me, and I would welcomed it.