Not at all.
But I do let her wash my arm because every step of the way, she places her mouth on mine, and I like that. She pays a lot of attention to the scrape on my arm as she cleans away all of the dirt and blood from my skin. When it becomes clear she’s trying to get me to submerge myself in the water completely, I back away, but she slowly coaxes me forward, pulls away my wrap, and I shiver and shake as she washes my back in the cold water.
I didn’t mind so much in the summer.
Beh grabs my hand and holds it against my thigh. She rubs back and forth, urging me to wash my legs while she cleans my back, and I comply reluctantly. Looking at her over my shoulder, I see her stern look and go back to washing. I don’t understand why I’m doing this in the freezing cold, but apparently I will do anything to make my mate happy, even follow her into cold water.
Once she decides my body is clean enough, I get out of the water and sit on a rock with my arms wrapped tightly around my knees. I feel her come up behind me, and she places the antelope hide over my shoulders and touches her lips to my cheek. My eyes dance over her body, now clothed in nothing except for the little scraps of pink cloth. I wish I could react to it, but I’m just too cold. Instead, I watch her, trying to understand if she is angry with me or not.
I turn my head and sniff at the fur around my shoulders. It already smells a little bit like Beh though she hasn’t worn it very long yet. I like it. It smells like her side of the furs where she sleeps. When she comes back from the side of the lake, I stand so we can go back to the warmth of the cave. I wish I could bring some fire with us so we could stay warm near the water, but I don’t have anything that will hold a hot coal.
I wrap the antelope hide around Beh, and she watches me closely as I do. She narrows her eyes a little as I tie the leather strap around her waist but looks up at me with a smile when I’m done. I touch the side of her face and feel how cold she is, just like me. I need to get my mate back to our cave to warm her.
I place my arm over her shoulder and pull her close to me as we start to walk back, and I notice immediately that Beh’s smell is different. I turn my head into her neck and sniff. She smells more like the lake now than she smells like herself.
She snickers as my nose tickles the side of her face, and I smile at her. She makes noises with her mouth, so I silence her with my lips. I like the way she tastes, and my stomach growls. Beh laughs aloud this time, and we make our way back to the cave.
The boar meat is nearly cooked through when we return, and Beh takes the pot of water and puts it on the coals. It heats quickly, and she adds wild onions and nutgrass to it while I go outside of the cave to finish with the boar’s skin and meat.
I sit right in front of the cave’s exit just to make sure Beh doesn’t leave without me noticing.
The boar’s skin is perfect for Beh—it is soft and supple as I work with it, and once it is finished she will be able to make clothes out of it. I narrow my eyes a little and consider since she didn’t know how to wear clothes, she must not know how to make them either. The boar’s hide will have to dry first, and Beh really needs something now.
I enter the cave and gather up the antelope hide I have already prepared. I decide to go ahead and cut clothing for Beh myself—she will need something under fur skins to keep her warm since the winter months are close. It doesn’t take long to cut out pieces for her top and bottom, and I use a strip of leather to tie it all together on one side.
Once the clothing is done and the rest of the boar meat is ready, I take it inside to hang near the fire. The boar was large, and it will give us a lot of good meat. I look around at what we have gathered over the past few days as well, and I know we are going to be okay.
Beh makes a lot of sounds at me as I tilt my head and look at her, kneeling by the fire and stirring around with a smooth piece of driftwood whatever she has put into the stew. I hold up the clothes I have made for her, and after a few tries, she manages to figure out how to put them all on. She leaves the little pink things on as well, but that’s okay. They may be a little strange, but I kind of like them.
We eat heartily, and there is still enough left over for later as well. I remember how many times I had gone without food for days and realize it was not so much because there was no food to be had; I just didn’t have a good enough reason to search for it.
Now I do.