Transcendence

My mate made me breakfast.

 

I can’t stop smiling as I crawl out of the furs and think of the night before. My whole body tingles with the memory, and I bounce out of the depression in the back of the cave and over to my mate. She sits by the fire, and I drop down to my hands and knees next to her to look at her beautiful face.

 

Beh turns to me, and her cheeks turn red. She’s so pretty– vibrant and healthy-looking—when that happens. She looks down to the ground, and her lips squish together. She seems to be holding in a smile. I lean in a little closer and brush the tip of my nose across her cheekbone. Beh makes soft sounds as she looks up at me, but I don’t find them at all annoying this time. My nose follows the line of her hair up to her temple, where I inhale deeply at her scent before I jump back up and run outside the cave to relieve myself.

 

It’s a beautiful day, sunny and bright though the breeze is chilly on my naked flesh. I don’t care; I feel too good to be concerned with the cold. I watch my stream of water arc out into the ravine and think about Beh’s hand coiling around my penis.

 

I wonder if she’ll do that again.

 

I mean—if she touched me there, then surely she’ll let me put a baby in her now, right?

 

It takes just three running steps to get back to the cave entrance, and I feel like I weigh nothing. I’m still smiling, too; I can’t seem to stop. My eyes fall on the little pile of boar remains, which happens to be next to the little piece of antelope fur left over from making Beh’s clothes. I walk over to it, checking over my shoulder to make sure Beh isn’t peeking out of the cave, and pick up the little bundle. In the middle of it is the piece of wood I have been carving for Beh.

 

I glance toward the cave again before I wrap the wood in the hide and tuck it under my arm. I will have to hide it until we go to the lake again, where I can use small rocks or sand to smooth it all out before I give it to her.

 

Looking around, I decide to hide it up with the extra wood. I take down several pieces of wood, which I will use to replenish the stack inside the cave, and tuck the little bundle inside. I look at it closely and scrunch up my face, not liking how alone it looks. I decide I don’t want to leave it there and bring it back out again.

 

I’ll have to sneak it inside and put it in one of the little folded pouches inside my fur wrap. That way it will be with me all the time, and I’ll know it’s safely where Beh won’t find it. Maybe we will go to the lake today, and I can finish the gift while Beh makes pots or gathers cattails. We definitely need to do a little more gathering to make sure there is plenty of food for the colder months. I have been very hungry the past two winters, and I can’t let that happen to Beh, especially if she is going to have a baby in her.

 

One that looks like me.

 

I smile again, bounce on my toes, and head back inside the cave.

 

Beh doesn’t look up as I walk back in and look over at her. I quickly race over to the sleeping furs and tuck Beh’s gift inside so it can’t be seen. When I look back, Beh is leaning over and seems very intent on whatever she is doing. I don’t want to disturb her work, so I move over to her quietly and crouch down, watching.

 

She has one of my flint knives, and she’s cutting up the dark blue, thick material she used to wear over her legs. She has cut many pieces into squares the size of both of my hands, and I watch her stack them neatly next to the fire. I reach out to touch one, but she makes the no sound, and I cringe.

 

I look at her warily as she moves the pile out of my reach and then makes a lot more sounds. I listen closely, but I don’t hear the no sound or the kiss sound, so I sit back and wait. Once she has cut all of the material into pieces, she uses two of them to lift one of her pots out of the coals and sits it in front of me. Then she lifts the lid and puts it off to the side.

 

I peer in, and the pot appears to be filled with just water. Beh dunks one of the little squares into the water, wrings it out, and then holds her hand out toward me.

 

I look at her palm and then back to her face. Beh makes some noise, and I consider making the kiss sound at her or maybe just putting my mouth on hers. As I consider that, my mind flashes to the previous night, and I look at her hand in a different way, remembering what it felt like when she wrapped her fingers around my penis and moved back and forth.

 

I’m getting hard, and when she reaches out again, I realize she must want to do that again. My heart pounds in my chest as I bring myself up onto my knees and reach out to her, take her face in my hands, and cover her mouth with mine. I feel her hand on my chest, but she doesn’t move it down again. Instead, she is pushing at me a little.

 

Our lips part quickly, and she pushes me back on my heels again. I narrow my eyes in confusion as she takes my hand and turns it palm up. She brings the cloth out again and runs it over the scrape on my arm.

 

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