“What are you going to do?” he quietly asked me. That was the real question, wasn’t it?
“I don’t know.” I looked back to his face. His expression had softened into compassion, like he really did get it, but he didn’t know what I should do either. “I can’t let her go, Evan. I tried. I tried to stay away, I tried to forget her. I tried to ignore what was happening between us, but it’s not possible. She’s with me everywhere I go, and then, when I see her…touch her…” Sighing, I scrubbed my face with my hands. “I don’t know what to do.”
Evan found a couple of chairs stacked along the wall and pulled them over. He sat down, then patted for me to sit beside him. He was quiet for several minutes, then he said, “You kind of screwed yourself into a corner, Kell, but…it’s Denny. You should tell him.”
Leaning over my knees, I dropped my head into my hands. “How can I tell him that I’m in love with his girlfriend? That she means more to me than…How can I tell him about any of this? He’d hate me…”
Evan let out another sigh. “And you don’t think he’s going to hate you when he finds out some other way? And you know it’s going to get out there, don’t you? You can’t keep a lid on this forever, and if it doesn’t come from you…” He sighed again. “It should come from you. You’re the only one who can fix this.”
I glanced up at him. “By breaking it?”
He lifted a corner of his lip. “It’s already broken. Denny just doesn’t realize it yet.”
I stared at him for long moments. He was right, but I didn’t want to admit it, and I didn’t want to think about hurting Denny. I didn’t want to think about anything. All I wanted to do was replay those magical words that Kiera had spoken to me just a few minutes ago. I’m yours.
Keeping the smile from my face, I stared at my hands. Evan must have seen something though. “She really makes you happy, doesn’t she?”
I nodded. “And miserable, all at the same time.” I peeked up at him. “Who knew a girl could do that to a person?”
Laughing, he patted me on the back. “I could have told you that. Nothing messes you up quite like a girl.” Evan glanced toward the closed door, and I wondered if he was thinking about Jenny. For once, I didn’t bug him about her though. I had my own problems.
“Tell me about her,” he said, his face curious but nonjudgmental. “How did you get together? When did you know you loved her?”
I inhaled a deep breath, wondering if I should tell him what had happened between us, but a smile spread on my face as I thought about Kiera, and the words gushed from me as easily as water releasing from a dam. I’d been holding this in for far too long.
Evan let me talk with practically no interruptions. He asked a question every so often, and sometimes he’d frown or shake his head, but he kept most of his comments to himself. When I was finished, he knew almost everything. The only comment he made when I was done was “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
I looked away. “I knew what you’d say. That she wasn’t mine, and I couldn’t go there, and…I didn’t want to hear it.” I flashed a glance his way. “Honestly, I still don’t, but it’s kind of too late now.”
Evan cracked a smile. “Yeah. Cat’s out of the bag, right?”
I cringed as I remembered my angry outburst. God, I could be such a dick sometimes. Evan chuckled beside me, then said, “Despite it all, I think you’re a good person, Kellan, and I know you’ll do the right thing.”
Even though I wasn’t so sure that I even knew what the right thing was, I nodded. My mind drifted to Kiera, and I focused Evan’s statement on her. If I took Denny out of the equation, what would be the right thing between the two of us? That question was actually an easy one. Honesty was what we needed. The air needed to be cleared, walls needed to be torn down. I needed to show her the deepest parts of me and hope that didn’t scare her off. But I’d already shown her plenty of darkness, and she was still mine, so I felt okay exposing my innermost soul to her. For the first time in my life, I wanted to open up to someone…about everything.
And I knew the perfect spot to do it. The place I’d once promised to take her—the Space Needle. Arrangements would need to be made, but luckily I knew exactly who to talk to in order to make them…the head of security was a fan of the band. I was going to owe Zeke a serious favor after this, but it was worth it. She was worth it.
After I was finished making preparations, I returned to Pete’s and parked across the street. It was a while before Kiera was off work, but I wanted to be ready in case she was let go early. When she finally exited the bar with Jenny, I got out of my car. Wondering if she’d notice me watching her, I leaned against the door with my arms folded across my chest. Stopping in her tracks, she stared at me like she was seeing a ghost. I had to smile at her reaction. Did she really think I wouldn’t give her a ride home?
After saying a few words to Kiera, Jenny gave me a wave, then headed to her car. Eager to reunite, Kiera bounded across the lot to me. Her approach warmed me in a way I couldn’t articulate. It sounded completely cheesy, but she completed me.
She was grinning ear to ear when I took her hand and led her around to the other side of the car. With the radiant energy emanating from each of us, it was almost like we hadn’t seen each other in days, not hours. She missed me.
When I slid into my side of the car, Kiera pursed her lips into an obviously fake frown, like she was put out with me. I could tell she was actually feeling playful though, so I decided to go along with it. “What? I haven’t been around you for hours. What could I have possibly done?”
Even though I was giving her a lopsided smile, Kiera’s expression didn’t change. “I’ve been dwelling on something you did earlier…for hours.”
Wondering which part of tonight she was referring to, I tilted my head. “I did quite a bit…can you be more specific?”
She bit back a laugh, then a genuine pout darkened her face. “Oh…God…please.” Smacking my arm, she whined, “How could you mock me like that in front of Evan and Jenny? That was so embarrassing!”
Laughing, I leaned away from her attack. “Ow! Sorry. I was making a point.”
“I think you made it, asshole!” After one last smack, she crossed her arms over her chest.
I laughed. “I think I’m a bad influence—you’re starting to swear as much as I do.”
With a smirk, Kiera cuddled up to my side, right where she belonged. I loved having her next to me. I loved teasing her too, but I did feel bad for embarrassing her. Knowing she wouldn’t do it, but loving the vision of her making sensuous noises, I said, “You can mimic me sometime if you like?”
As I could have predicted, her cheeks filled with color at the idea of imitating me during sex. In a hushed voice, she commented that my performance was a good one, and I confessed that it wasn’t my first time doing it. Kiera seemed surprised by my confession, and I laughed at the look on her face. Wondering if a part of her had enjoyed hearing me make intimate sounds, and wondering if I could both tease her and turn her on, I tilted my head and said, “You are right…that wasn’t very fair of me. Here, I’ll do me…”
Putting my arms around her, I pressed my lips against her ear and proceeded to mimic a needy groan. Breath heavy, I slowly elongated my words. “Oh…God…yes.” I added a whimper on the end and Kiera spun to face me, grabbed my neck, and pulled me in for a voracious kiss. Guess I hadn’t lost my touch.
I considered letting this kiss take us over, riling us up to the point where I laid her down on the seat and took her right here. But someone was waiting for us, and sex with her wasn’t what I had in mind tonight. Pulling away, I gave her a playful smile. “Can we do something?”
“Yes,” she moaned, reaching for my lips again.
A smirk broke over me as I avoided contact with her. “Do you need a minute?”
She wasn’t happy about my amusement or my question. She smacked my arm again and her cheeks turned bright red. Then, looking a little grumpy, she asked what I had in mind while I started the car.
Finding her disappointment funny, I laughed out, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get you all…riled up.” When she raised an eyebrow in disbelief, I laughed. Yeah, you got me. “Okay…yeah, maybe I did. But right now, I want to show you something.” Something you’re going to love.
She nodded, and I pulled away from the street.
Once Kiera figured out we were heading downtown, she asked me where we were going. “Well, I did promise you that we’d go up the Space Needle,” I answered.
Her expression was blank while she processed that. “Kellan…it’s two in the morning, it’s closed.”
With a smile and a wink, I assured her that everything was fine. I knew people, and those people were going to let us in…for a price.
I found a spot to park, then grabbed her hand and walked her over to where the iconic landmark was looming above us. It felt amazing to hold her hand again. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed it, and just how unsatisfying all of my pseudo-Kieras had been. Nothing compared to the real thing.
Expecting our arrival, thanks to Zeke, the guard on duty met us at the base of the Needle. Reaching into my pocket, I handed him the couple of hundreds that I’d grabbed from my rainy-day fund at the house. It was a pricey trip up the Needle, but it was worth every penny. And what else did I have to use my parents’ money on? It wasn’t like I needed much. Just Kiera.
Satisfied, the guard led us up to the elevators. Kiera noticed the payoff. Eyes wide, she whispered, “How much did you give him?” as the elevator doors closed.
I told her not to worry about it. The house wasn’t the only thing my parents had left me. There had also been life insurance policies, savings accounts, and a lifetime of abuse and neglect. There was always that.
The elevator started rising and Kiera gasped and pressed herself against the wall. The elevator’s glass doors gave its riders an impressive view of the city, but it was clear from the absence of color on Kiera’s face that she wasn’t entirely enjoying it. Grabbing her chin, I tilted her head so she was looking at me, not the ground we were leaving behind. “You’re completely safe, Kiera.”
I gave her a soft kiss, which led to a deeper kiss, which led to a breathless kiss. The guard cleared his throat, and that was when I noticed that the elevator had stopped. Oops. “I guess we’re here,” I said with a laugh.
Patting the guard on the back, I grabbed Kiera’s hands and led her out of the elevator. Her cheeks were flushed with residual embarrassment from being caught, but it only made her even more attractive. Once the elevator closed again, the room darkened. Since technically the Needle wasn’t open to visitors right now, all the regular lighting was off. Only a couple of emergency lights remained on. It made the glow of the city around us seem that much brighter, and I pulled Kiera to the edge of the inner observatory.