Chapter 20
Elle
I could feel the nerves beginning to spread through my body. They'd been building for days. Now they were coming to a crescendo.
Lexi stood beside me, a wide smile on her face. She didn't look worried at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. The brightness of her eyes made it clear that she relished this. I guess anyone who had the confidence to work as a stripper wouldn't worry too much about this sort of thing.
We were about to step out together onto the stage alongside the rest of our dance troupe. This wasn't like before. The only other time I'd danced publicly was when we did an impromptu performance in Trellers Square in the centerof town. That had been nerve racking enough, but this was another thing altogether.
The intention of that gig was to build a bit of interest in us. It had worked. Someone there had enjoyed the performance so much that they'd booked us in to perform again. This time it would be for real.
We stood together now, behind the curtain, listening to a man talking on the stage in front of us. I'd stupidly popped my head around the side earlier, looking at the swelling crowd gathering in the hall. I could feel my legs going weak at the thought of that curtain raising in a few moments. I'd never been so terrified in my life.
I could barely hear what the guy was saying. My mind was lost now, trying to focus on my moves, on the performance. Get in the moment Elle. You'll be fine.
A bit of positive self-talk was just what I needed.
I noticed the lights going down behind the curtain as the man's speech came to an end. The crowd began applauding as the curtain slowly rose, revealing us standing there in our black and white tights.
A spotlight shone down on the stage, blinding me from anything else. I could make out shapes and figures in the crowd but there was nothing specific. I knew that hundreds of people had their eyes on me but I couldn't see them.
The performance began as my eyes slowly started adjusting to the sudden change in light, the crowd hushing as the music began playing. We set into our routine, our movements as one, everything so well choreographed.
We'd practised for days, weeks, making sure we'd get everything right, ironing out any potential problems to make it all perfect. If we performed well here, it might open the doors to other opportunities for the group.
The thought had enticed me greatly. Maybe, just maybe, we could become a proper professional outfit. Maybe I could dance for a living, make my passion my work. The idea made me even more nervous, even more anxious to do a goodjob.
One thing was for sure, though. If I was to start performing more often, I'd have to get to grips with this stagefright.
My nerves began to fade as we moved deeper into the performance. It was all a beautiful blur, a complete silence in the crowd as they watched on at our bodies sliding over each other in graceful movements.
My eyes continued to adjust to the light, faces at the front of the crowd beginning to come into view. They looked on, entranced, their eyes following me around the stage.
I began to feel more nervous, knowing that so many sets of eyes were on me. Every time I twisted and turned towards the crowd I couldn't help but glide my eyes across them, the faces all blurring together as they looked at me.
But one stuck out as I glanced. One face I knew. One face I never wanted to see again.
I thought I saw him, sitting there at the front, his eyes gleaming as they watched me. They were eyes I used to love, eyes I now hated.
Eyes that belonged to Brad.
I could feel myself losing my focus as I turned once more from the crowd, other girls moving around and in front of me. I took position, facing to the back of the stage, my heart now beating furiously.
Had I seen Brad? Was he really here?
The choreography of the dance led me back towards the crowd, my eyes turning back on them. I glanced across the front row once more but saw no one I knew. None of the faces stood out. Brad wasn't there.
I must have just imagined it.
The performance continued, building to a climax as I began to refocus. The crowd began clapping and standing, an applause that sent shivers of satisfaction through my body.
The lights came up, the room coming into clear focus. I stood there now as the other girls gathered in a line towards the front of the stage and bowed. I looked again at the faces at the front, sliding my eyes from one to the other as my pulse began to settle.
I couldn't see him. He'd never been there.
....
The buzz was incredible as we all gathered together backstage after the performance. For many of the girls, dance was their lifelong ambition, something that they'd always wanted to do since they were kids.
No one epitomized this more than Lexi. She was so balanced and graceful, every single movement so precise. If she didn't make it as a dancer, no one would.
The girls were looking to celebrate with a couple of drinks after, but I needed to get home. I had exams coming up and had plenty of revision to get done. She tried her best to persuade me otherwise, but I wasn't going to relent. Honestly, after what happened last time I drank, I didn't want to touch a drop of alcohol for a long time.
I stepped from the venue and out into the evening air. There was a crispness to it, a warmth that had been spreading in for the last few weeks. Summer had well and truly arrived now, the evenings growing lighter and longer underthe lingering sun.
I walked down the street, a dorky smile on my face. I couldn't hide it, I couldn't remove it. The feeling of exhilaration was palpable. I must have looked slightly mad to anyone who passed me by.
I turned into the underground parking lot where I'd left my car. It was dreary in there, my footsteps echoing around and bouncing off the wide walls.
I approached my car and pulled my keys from my handbag. I fitted them into the car door and turned, hearing the lock click loudly. Then, piercing the silence, a voice reached my ears.
“Still driving that thing?” The voice was cold, sending a shiver down my spine.
My heart froze as I turned around, my eyes widening at the man in front of me.
“Brad...what are you doing here?” My words shook, threatening to break.
I could feel my breathing intensify and my pulse begin to soar as he looked on at me, that creepy stare that I thought I'd escaped forever on me once more. He smiled a wide smile, his entire face lighting up. But it wasn't a warm light, it was cold and distant, weird and sinister.
“I'm here to see you Elle. Why did you leave without saying goodbye?” His eyes were turning mournful and hurt. The sudden change in his expression was completely unsettling.
I saw his hand reaching into his pocket and took a step back, pressing against the door of my car. I reached for the door and pulled, opening it slightly behind me.
“I really can't talk now Brad. I have to go.” My voice, like my body, trembled with nerves.
I had no idea what to say to him, no idea what he'd do.
“You never did have any time for me did you? Not in the end. Not with all your new friends.” His eyes were beginning to harden again.
“That's not true Brad. You know what happened. You know why I left.”
His face stiffened hugely. “What did I do? Propose to you? Love you? What was wrong with that?!” His voice was more intense now, his words shattering the silence and cascading around the walls.
He seemed unstable, like a volcano that could blow at any minute. He looked even more erratic than he had before, his eyes full of fire and jealousy and rage.
“I don't know what you want me to say Brad. We grew apart. I'm sorry.”
I had to be careful with my words. I had no idea what he'd do in the state he was in.
“All I ever wanted was you to love me like I loved you. We were so good together and then you just abandoned me. You left me alone.”
I slid to the side and began opening the door to the car.
“I can't say anything except I'm sorry,” I said carefully, trying to calm him down. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
His eyes drifted towards the door of the car as it slowly opened.
“Trying to escape again are you? Why do you always run from me? I love you Elle. I would never hurt you.”
The way he said it made me think the opposite, his words sliding over one another likes snakes. I could feel my hand shaking on the door. All I wanted to do was jump inside, gun the engine, and escape.
I turned from him and stepped slowly into the car, as if I was dealing with a wild animal, as if a sudden movement would cause him to strike.
I felt his arm grab at my shoulder, pulling me back and pushing me up against the side of the vehicle. I couldn't talk or think or move as he leaned in closer, his eyes boiling over.
“You never loved me did you,” he growled, his voice low and intense and full of hate.
“I would have done anything for you Elle, anything. You broke my heart, smashed it into a million pieces. You owe me.”
He leaned in and planted his lips onto mine, his hand sliding to the side of my face. I felt my heart exploding in my chest as his thin lips pressed against my own, a tear rolling out of his eye.
I was paralyzed, helpless, my body limp and drained of energy. He leaned back, his eyes intense. “I'll never love anyone like you, Elle,” he said, “I need you back.”
He moved in again as I prepared to scream, to shout out for help, but my voice was lost, stifled by his cold lips. I searched with my eyes for someone nearby but there was no one there, the parking lot as silent as a dungeon.
Then, from nowhere, I heard footsteps rushing down behind him, and a voice, shouting in the distance.
“Elle, Elle.”
It was Lexi, running down towards me.
Brad leaned back and turned, seeing the girl rushing forward. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, glancing round to the left and right for an escape route.
Then, without a second thought, he sprung away, sprinting off to the left and through a door. It slammed heavily as Lexi reached me, rushing in to give me a hug.
“Elle, are you OK. Who was that? What's going on?”
My legs gave way and I collapsed to the floor, my pulse galloping, my breathing short and sharp and intense. Tears gushed from my eyes as Lexi joined me on the floor, squeezing my hand and asking me what was wrong over and over.
I couldn't speak or think. My whole body was shivering in fear.
I began to see spots, everything beginning to blur, Lexi's worried face in front of me starting to fade away.
Then, suddenly, everything went black.