Chapter 23
Crash
I felt deflated.
It wasn't how I'd imagine I'd feel. Not now, not after what had happened.
I'd dreamed for months about catching my father's killer and getting my revenge. Now it all felt so hollow, so empty. Something troubled me about it all, something I couldn't place.
Had the wrong man died? Had Lithgow really been the cold hearted killer I thought he was?
The thought had stayed my hand when he sat in front of me. I knew that I'd regret it forever if I'd pulled the trigger. Jones, though: he could handle it. Just another day at the office for him.
I'd dug myself into a corner. I had no choice but to see Lithgow dead after taking him to that barn. Had he gone free, I didn't know what would have happened. If he really was the man responsible for my father's death, my own life would be under threat, as well as those of my family.
I couldn't take that risk. Guilty or not, I had no choice but to remove him from the equation.
The days after it all went down I'd struggled to sleep, thoughts of that night now dominating my mind. I turned things over and over in my head, trying to convince myself that he was the culprit. Yet there was always a piece missing, something in his eye, something in his pleading voice that made me unsure.
I guess now I'd never know.
....
“To the future,” I said, raising my glass.
Four other glassed raised up to meet mine in the middle.
“And the prosperity of this family.”
They all repeated the words in unison, my body stirring at the sound. It was the first time I'd gathered together all of my brothers to fill them in on my plan. Up until now, only Kyle had been aware of the new casino project that would send our family name into the stratosphere. Now it was time for the others to be included.
I had plans for all of them, plans to move them on from their current positions and bring all of the family together to manage and run the casino and hotel we were building. I wanted us all to benefit, I wanted us all to have a single purpose, a single perspective. I wanted all of them to share in my vision.
“There was something else I wanted to talk to you all about,” I said, “something you all deserve to know.”
I could see them all leaning in, gravitating towards me.
“Our father has been avenged,” I said, trying to inject some triumph into my voice. “The man who killed him has been dealt with.” I felt a sting on my tongue as I spoke, still not sure if I really believed the words.
I looked around at them all, their eyes widening. All except Kyle's. His lowered to the floor. He knew what happened that night.
“Who was it?” asked Cade, leaning in.
“A man called Walter Lithgow.”
“Lithgow?” asked Zack. “The investor?” I was surprised he knew of him.
I nodded.
“But why would he kill dad?”
“Suffice to say they were old business friends-turned-rivals. Things took an ugly turn and this is the result.” I didn't want to go through it all again. I wanted to put it out of my mind forever now.
“Now understand that none of this can ever leave this table. No one can ever speak of this again, do you all understand? I just thought you all deserved to know.”
They all stared on at me and nodded.
“Good. Now let's raise a glass to our father, Charles Logan. To dad.”
“To dad.” They all said together.
I sat back down in my seat. I felt weary, tired. Tired of all of this, tired of thinking about my father and Walter Lithgow, tired of wanting revenge. That lust had been sated, replaced with a feeling of guilt and remorse. It weighed heavy, like a rock chained around my neck.
We sat in silence for a while, around the table in the VIP section of the bar. I'd shut the entire section off for the night, giving us total privacy. I wanted no one hearing what I said, no one else nearby when I revealed everything to my brothers.
I sensed that they each had a million questions running through their heads, so many things that they wanted to straighten out about dad's death. But I knew they wouldn't question me, I knew they wouldn't push it. They'd seek clarification later from Kyle. I'd leave it to him to explain, to make them understand.
Right now, I just didn't want to talk about it. Not now. Not ever.
....
My lack of sleep was beginning to tell as the evening drew on. I told them that they should celebrate, invite their girlfriends out and enjoy the evening on me. I wasn't in the mood for such frivolities though. No, I wanted to bealone.
I said my goodbyes and left the VIP area, an exhaustion settling inside of me. As I rounded the corner into the main bar I noticed Alice waiting for drinks. Tess was alongside her, and Gem. I took this as a good opportunity toclear the air.
I approached from behind and got Alice's attention. She'd never taken to me and I knew why. Now, however, I'd moved on from it all. I'd accepted that Kyle wanted to be with her, and despite dad's wishes, I had to concede that it wasn't my place to interfere.
“Alice, can I have a word,” I said, tapping her lightly on the shoulder.
She turned, her face stony and impassive, but curious. “Sure.”
I led her over to a free table and sat down, seeing Tess and Gem come together at the bar and immediately start whispering to each other.
“Alice, I wanted to straighten things out between us. I know that you've never liked me and I guess that all's fair.”
Her eyes seem to perk up slightly as I spoke. She clearly wasn't expecting an admission like that.
“I owe you an apology,” I continued. “I see how much Kyle cares about you and you him. I never should have tried to stand in the way of that. I'm sorry.”
Her expression softened quickly, her deep frown loosening. I could see what Kyle saw in her. She was stunningly beautiful.
“I really appreciate that Crash,” she said, her tone light. “Thank you.”
I smiled at her. If she was to be my brother's long term partner, then she really would be family. If so, I wanted her to trust me implicitly.
“I suppose that Kyle has told you about our plans?”
She nodded.
“And I understand that you're doing a business and management degree?
She nodded again.
“Well, perhaps you can help us. Maybe we could find a position for you once you graduate, all things going well with Kyle, that is.”
Her eyes broadened further. “You mean, give me a job?”
I nodded. “Assuming you get the desired grade in your degree and ace the interview.” I smiled, seeing her do the same.
“Crash, I don't know what to say. You'd trust me to be part of the business?”
“Sure. If Kyle trusts you, I trust you. You're becoming family Alice, and that's the number one thing in the world.”
Her eyes looked like they were beginning to well up. She looked overjoyed at my words, like she had been waiting for acceptance from me forever or something.
“You know, you can be kinda sweet sometimes,” she said, a smile creasing her face. “I've been wrong about you. I'm sorry.”
I shook my head. “No apologies. Anything you've thought about me or said about me in the past was probably fair. I haven't been the easiest guy recently. This whole thing with my father and becoming the head of this family...it's been a lot of pressure. Now, though, all I want is for this family to move forward together.”
“I understand it must have been hard, and I'm so sorry.” She really seemed to mean it, her eyes deep with memory, as if she'd suffered the same in her past.
“Elle really would be lucky to have you.”
The name sent a shock through me. Elle. I'd pushed her from my mind recently, consumed with other thoughts. Clearly though, she'd talked about me to Alice.
“Elle. How is she?”
My heartbeat rose a fraction as Alice prepared to speak about her, and quickened further when I heard her words.
“Not good actually. She's having a tough time at the moment.”
“What's wrong?” I said quickly, my face growing worried.
“It's her ex. He attacked her in a parking lot a few days ago. She's really shaken up by it all, isn't quite sure what he'll do.”
I could feel my blood beginning to boil, my tiredness discarded from my body. An energy was growing, surging, inside me, an anger creeping into my head.
“Who is he?” I growled. “Where is he?”
A look of concern grew on her face. “Um, we don't know. He hasn't turned up since. He might have gone back to college in California.”
“And where's Elle? Is she back at your dorm?”
She nodded. “She's been stuck in there since it happened. I tried to get her to come tonight, but she won't leave the room. She's pretending she's just revising, but I can tell she's pretty rattled right now.”
I stood quickly.
“No Crash, I wouldn't go there. Not tonight, it's late.”
My hands were shaking now with thoughts of this guy. Thoughts of him scaring her, putting his hands on her. I needed to know who he was, I needed to talk to her now.
I turned and stormed from the bar, Alice's voice blurring into the background as she tried to tell me to stop.
But there was nothing she could say, nothing she could do to stop me.
Elle. I needed to protect her. I needed to see her safe. Nothing anyone could say would change that.