Trevor barked out a surprised laugh. “Yeah, maybe. But whoever they are will have a lot to live up to. So maybe don’t worry about that. Maybe just keep doing what you’re doing and trust that it will all work out.”
“When did you get so wise?” I looked at my brother-in-law from across the kitchen and saw him differently. He’d grown up over the last year. He wasn’t the same immature kid that followed his brother around, desperate for guidance and Grady’s approval. He was a man. And somehow he’d become a good man. Grady would have been so proud of him.
Trevor ran his hand through his hair again and shrugged one shoulder. “Guess my brother convinced me to grow up after all.” He blew out a long breath, “Damn, I miss him.”
“Me too.”
I walked him out to his car and said goodbye, promising him that I would text soon about having him over for dinner. I watched his car pull out of the cul-de-sac and stood there wrapped in my towel for a long time, thinking about our conversation.
When I finally turned back to Ben’s house, I realized it was the first time Trevor and I had ever talked about Grady when I hadn’t cried.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“I don’t know why I agreed to this.” I looked at the well-manicured, two-story house that Ben grew up in and felt sick to my stomach. What had I been thinking?
“Are you nervous?” Ben settled back in the driver’s seat of his Lexus and watched me fidget.
“Of course, I’m nervous. It’s never easy meeting someone’s parents.”
“They already love you,” he reminded me. He had been telling me this for weeks as he tried to get me to agree to this dinner. I had avoided it for as long as I could before I started to irritate him. “You don’t have anything to worry about.”
“It just feels so… final, you know? It’s what people do in serious relationships.” I played with the hemline of my flouncy navy blue skirt and refused to look at him.
A chill filled the car when he said, “Liz, what is it that you think we’re doing?”
My heartbeat picked up, but not in a good way. “Ben…”
“We’re serious.”
I sucked in a quick breath. This was the wrong place and time to have this conversation. “That’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean then?” His hand reached over the console to intertwine with mine. “What do you think we’re doing?”
“Making out a bunch?” I dragged my gaze up to meet his and watched his lips twitch.
“That is not what we’ve been doing,” he disagreed seriously. “We’re not fifteen anymore.”
He could be so exasperating. “Then what would you call it?”
“Foreplay.”
His body slid gracefully from the car so he could walk around and open my door. I felt the blood drain from my face while a fire lit low in my belly. Something deliciously lustful rolled over my skin at the same time I struggled not to panic.
I swallowed against a lump in my throat and tried to steady out my breathing. By the time Ben opened my door and offered his hand, I had started to tremble.
He pulled me from the passenger’s seat and settled his hand on my waist. He nudged me to the side so he could close my door, but backed me against it, caging me in with his body.
“Liz, you mean a lot to me. I’ve come to care for you deeply.” His hand brushed over my jaw and his gaze bored into mine with staggering intensity.
“I care about you too.” I hated the quiver in my voice, but there was nothing I could do about it. I was obnoxiously stunted when it came to this relationship. I felt more immature about my feelings for Ben than anything else in my life. But I also didn’t know how to solve that. I wasn’t ready to be anything more than casual with him. I wasn’t ready to let go of Grady and accept that my feelings for Ben were real and significant. I had started my cycle of grief all over again only with this relationship. Currently I had settled into denial.
I liked denial.
Ben’s expression did not soften when he said, “I’m exhausted with pretending that this thing between us is anything less than serious. I want more from you, Liz. I want more from us.”
My heart kicked into overdrive, “I don’t know if I can give you more. I’m… I’m just trying to keep up with what we already are.”
“Then meet my parents,” he coaxed gently. “That’s all I’m asking. Live in this moment with me and we’ll get to the next moment together. I’m not going to make you do this on your own.”
My hands glanced over his chest to wrap around his neck. I needed him to hold me together, to keep me together. He wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me tightly to him. My heart pounded against his chest, but when I breathed in his familiar scent I couldn’t help but relax.
I closed my eyes and let my spirit return home.
“Don’t leave my side,” I ordered him.
“I won’t, Liz. Not for anything.”
He squeezed me tighter and I felt his promise burrow inside of me and chain itself to my heart. I didn’t want to face the fact that we were serious, but we were. Ben had become an immovable part of my life. He cared about me and I cared about him. He cared about my children and they loved him in return.
I had to let go of this denial. I needed to face the reality of our relationship. What I didn’t have to do was decide what that meant. A permanent future together was still impossible, but I couldn’t give him up yet.
So that meant I needed to meet his parents.
“Okay,” I conceded. “Take me to dinner.”
He pulled back to press a sweet kiss to my lips. “I can do that.”
Taking my hand, he led me to the front door of his parent’s stately two-story house. This looked like the kind of place a successful lawyer would live. And yet, I had to laugh because it was so vastly different than Ben’s current home.