I gasped as his kisses turned slowly sensual. His mouth returned to mine and I felt overwhelmed with the sensation of him, with his virile touch and his consuming worship of my body.
He grew increasingly desperate as we continued to kiss in the shadows of my entryway and the light of the moon. His thumb brushed over my nipple, hidden behind my lacy bra, and I thought I would collapse. My knees weakened and my thighs trembled. I hadn’t expected to feel this much with him. I hadn’t expected to become so intensely turned on from his seductive touches and mind-blowing kisses.
He caught me by sliding his thigh between my legs. My desire hitched even higher and I dropped my head against the glass screen door, completely lost to Ben and whatever he wanted to do to me.
His lips moved back down my throat, licking a sensual path. His tongue delved into the hollow of my throat and I whimpered. My usually cluttered mind completely emptied and all I could do was feel.
The porch light flicked on and we jumped apart, both of us breathing heavy. I planted my hands on the glass behind me and tried not to melt into a pool of lust.
Ben watched me with heavily-lidded eyes. His chest breathed raggedly and I could feel his desire from a foot apart.
I wanted him too.
And I didn’t know what to do with that.
“I’m going to ask Emma to watch the kids overnight next weekend.”
His words hit me with a punch of reality. I stood up straight and tried to keep from panicking.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He reached out and tangled his fingers with mine. His touch was so light, barely there, but I felt it to my toes. My mind swam with lust and fear, with heady desire and breath-catching anticipation.
But I couldn’t go that far with him. I couldn’t take those finalizing steps.
I had so many feelings for him and I’d given up so much of my heart. This… sex… felt like it was the only thing Grady still owned completely.
Maybe that was a harsh exaggeration, but it was the only tangible thing I had left to save.
“We don’t have to have sex,” he rushed to explain. “But I want one night where I don’t feel rushed to leave you. I want one night where I can kiss you for as long as I want and not worry about having the police called on us or one of the kids walking downstairs.”
“Ben…”
“We won’t have sex.” He ran a hand over his jaw and some of the drowsy hunger cleared from his gaze. “Okay? We won’t. I’ll turn down your advances. I won’t let you seduce me.” I couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Just spend the night with me,” he pleaded gently. “Stay with me one night.”
“Okay,” I heard myself whisper without any hesitation.
His lips broke into a staggering smile. “Good.”
The door opened behind me and Emma found us staring at each other like moonstruck teenagers. I blinked back into reality and untangled my hands from his. “Thank you for introducing me to your parents, Ben. I had a great night.”
“I thought you might.” He leaned forward and placed one more kiss on my forehead. “Goodnight, Liz.”
I stepped inside and Emma and I watched him walk back to his house.
“Sorry,” she groaned. “I didn’t realize it was you at the door.”
“It’s okay.”
“Did I interrupt anything naughty?” Her singsong voice did nothing to disguise her hopeful tone.
“Not tonight.”
She pushed my shoulder until I faced her completely. Her eyebrows rose comically and her eyes bugged, waiting for more information.
“He wants me to spend the night next weekend.”
Her screaming excitement, excitement I had yet to feel, woke Jace and Lucy.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Friday came too fast like a train barreling down the tracks that I could not stop.
We only had a couple more weeks until school started, so I had been filling up our days with as much activity as I could fit in.
And maybe I had been trying to avoid thinking about tonight.
Ben had been as much a part of our lives as usual, only now, when the kids were asleep in their beds, his touches would linger, his kisses would push boundaries and his intentions were made clear.
I had given him permission when I agreed to spend tonight and he had spent the last week building my anticipation and preparing me for what was to come.
But he had promised no sex and since I knew without a doubt that I wasn’t ready for sex, I bound his words against my nerves and tried to be brave.
“Good luck tonight,” Emma whispered when she showed up a few minutes before Ben.
“Nothing is going to happen,” I whispered back. She gave me a “yeah, right” look. “Seriously, Emma. Even if… even if I thought we were ready for that, I just can’t be intimate with someone else. It’s too weird.”
“Give me a break,” she sighed. “You deserve a night like tonight. Relax and have fun. Forget about the other stuff.”
“You’re a terrible sister. You’re supposed to support me, not Ben.”
“I do support you!” she hissed. “And I support the very clear reality that you need to get laid!”
Ben walked in the house without knocking, which was now his way, and we shut up.
“Everything okay?” he asked, glancing between Emma and me.
“Yep!” Emma practically shouted at him. “We’re just peachy.”
My body flushed from my toes to the top of my head. I tried to smile at Ben, but I had to look half-deranged.
Ben’s eyes darkened with concern. “Is this your bag, Liz?”
“It is,” I croaked.
“I’m going to take it outside. Come out when you’re ready?”
I nodded, anxious to have another moment to myself. The kids were happily eating dinner, but when they realized Ben was here, they chased him out the door to say hello. With a few moments to ourselves, Emma put her hands on my shoulders and got right in my face.
“You will survive this night,” she promised.
“I’m not sure that I will.”
“You will. Ben will be there to walk you through it.”