His hands mimicked my movements. I squirmed a little as they trailed over my skin under the water, causing my breath to hitch and his eyes to darken.
“Because I need you and this bathing suit all to myself.” His lips dropped to my collarbone where he trailed hot kisses dripping with cool water to the tip of my shoulder and back down. I dropped my head back and closed my eyes. A small whimper escaped the back of my throat and his gentle grip became fiercely needy. He clutched my sides and slid his thigh between my legs. With the little bikini bottoms I had on, his leg pressed to my core with shocking pressure.
I lifted my head and opened my eyes, only to come face to face with the purest picture of desire I had ever seen.
I stopped breathing and my heart stopped beating. A blush swept over me from top to bottom. His intentions were so clearly written on his face that I had no doubt of the thoughts that ran through his head.
We had been dating for five months and this had never become a topic of conversation for us. I had been too terrified to bring it up and he had been too much of a gentleman. But surely he thought about this… wondered what would happen.
I certainly did.
But mine always ended with a big buzzer sounding and an announcer declaring that we were out of time. I couldn’t get past my own humiliation to even think about the good stuff.
I had always thought Grady would be the last man to see me naked. And I had liked it that way. I couldn’t fathom undressing in front of another man. Not after ten years of marriage to the same man.
And let’s not even discuss my destroyed lady bits. Thank you my darling children. You didn’t exactly leave me in tiptop condition.
So, no. Sex was a nonissue to me because it would never happen.
Ben would have to break this off with me if he ever wanted to get laid again. And guessing from the heated look in his eyes that sent shivers racing up and down my spine, he was going to have to break up with me soon.
Or I was going to spontaneously combust into a million pieces.
Ben continued to press kisses along my jaw, the shell of my ear and finally my mouth. My hands slid around his neck and our bodies came together naturally.
“Ew!” All of the kids shouted at once.
We pulled away laughing. This hadn’t been the first time we got caught.
“How about that date?” He waggled his eyebrows at me and put a safe distance between us.
“I’ll talk to Emma.”
“Maybe we should think about finding another babysitter. A girl that is more available? Maybe a high school kid or someone we can pay?”
We can pay. We should think about finding another babysitter.
Ben’s words stripped away my easy smile and poked at my motherly instincts. I didn’t know how I felt about Ben’s suggestion or his insinuation that we were so coupled.
What did it mean for us to both pick out a babysitter? Did that mean he had an actual say and I had to listen to his opinion? Did he care enough about my children to find someone that would truly take care of their needs and make my home a fun and safe environment while maintaining some kind of order? Was he offering to pay for the sitter? Or did that responsibility remain entirely with me?
He misread my expression, “I love Emma, Liz. Don’t get me wrong. She’s just so busy. I’d like to find someone who can come over weekly. You need a break and I need you alone.”
I gaped at his insightful words.
“How much of a say do you think you have in this?” I followed a droplet of water with my finger as it trickled down his chest.
He captured my hand and brought it to his mouth for a chaste kiss. “A lot of say,” he grinned at me. “So much say.”
“I’m not so sure…” What I really wasn’t sure about was inviting another person into our lives. I liked how we had things right now. I didn’t want to upset the fragile balance we’d struck.
“I love these guys. I want the best for them too.”
“I know you say that…”
“And I mean it.” His voice was a serious timbre that made me want to sit up straighter. “I love those kids, Liz. More than I ever thought I could love anybody. If we are going to take this relationship any further, don’t you think I should start working with you to make decisions that affect the whole family?”
He talked about my kids like he was already a father figure for them and about the family as if he were already a part of it.
I didn’t know how to feel about that.
Frankly, he left me a little breathless.
Or, er, rather largely breathless.
I opened my mouth to say something although I didn’t know what. I needed to politely ask him to back off until I could catch up with him. I didn’t think I wanted Ben to become so involved. If he stepped into Grady’s shoes that meant Grady would be pushed out.
And I didn’t want Grady to leave.
But I didn’t want Ben to leave either.
“Uncle Trevor!” Abby squealed before I could put two words together.
Lots of splashing ensued as my children scrambled from the pool to attack their uncle with wet hugs. He laughed and let them drip all over his work clothes. I held my hand up to shield the sun and silently thanked Trevor for interrupting at just the right time.
I pushed beyond Ben to climb out of the swimming pool too. Once I had a towel securely wrapped around me, I walked over to my brother-in-law to see why he’d tracked us down.
After my initial relief that he’d interrupted a tense moment between Ben and me, I now felt disastrously ill. Trevor didn’t seek me out on his own. There had to be a problem with the business.
“Hey, Trev,” I greeted.
He looked up at me with a very perplexed expression and explained, “I followed the screaming. I could hear these monsters from the driveway.” They all laughed and screamed louder, proving his point.
“Is everything okay?” The words were out of my mouth before I could think of better ones. I was too nervous to wait for him.
“Can we talk?”
I cleared my throat, feeling more nervous as the seconds ticked by. “Sure.”